Soooo sorry for your loss
Posted By: ER MT on 2007-09-05
In Reply to: CJ RIP - Misha
 (((Hugs)))
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You are soooo not alone! sm
I've lived through this, and this year was no great shakes, though not because of presents. We don't make a big deal out of presents at Christmas -- a few nice presents for the kids (teenagers), and DH and I don't actually exchange gifts, but we do go and spend time together one night during the holiday season, usually dinner at a local spot we like. I'm very happy with that arrangement. If I want something for myself, I can buy it when I want it, so it's the time together that I value the most.
Unfortunately, I had a horrible Christmas this year, but it was because I felt completely unappreciated. I spent weeks preparing things, all the usual traditions that we do in our house, decorating, cookies, entertaining, all that sort of thing. I like doing it, but it's a lot of work. Christmas Eve came, and we went to church. After church, I asked to go for a drive to look at lights. DH made a fuss over it, and I made a fuss back, saying that it was one thing that I enjoy, and given all that I do, it sure would be nice if he'd kick in and do something *I* like to do just this one night. He then insisted that the boys had to go, too, because, "If I have to do it, then they have to do it, too." You'd think I had asked him to clean toilets or something! I didn't really care if the boys came. they are 16, 17 and 18 years old. I didn't expect that to be their idea of fun. But they were forced to go and we piled into the van. We started down the street, and they were all heckling and making rude comments. We only drove for 15 minutes when I told DH to go home. I had enough. It was no fun, and DH was goading the boys on. It certainly wasn't any fun for me. They stopped laughing and talking at that point. When we got home, I lined them all up and recounted everything I do for them, told them that they were ungrateful little so-and-so's for not at least trying to tolerate something that interests me, and since I was the one who shops for all of them, and I'm the one who knows where their presents are hidden, they were stuck for Christmas until I darn well felt in the Christmas spirit again. I went up to my room, stuck my iPod in my ears and went to sleep. By 10:30 the next morning, still no present opening. I didn't feel like it. I had another conversation with them about how unappreciated I felt, that they don't even bother to say "Thanks, mom. Dinner was delicious," when I make them dinners every night. "Ever wonder where your clean underwear comes from? There's no maid in this house!"
It wasn't a pleasant Christmas morning, but men never seem to understand what we want -- to be appreciated. And most of us aren't brought up to bang our own drum, but you know what? I'm no saint. I can't give and give and give just for the sake of being a "good" wife and mother. I'm not a doormat. Men have to be told that once in a while, just once in a while, they need to say thank you, make the females in their lives the center of attention, and not be so stinking selfish. It took a while, because they thought I was mad because they made a fuss about going to see Christmas lights. I really had to work at getting them to see that I was mad because they couldn't do this ONE little thing that I like to do, and that they get a darn lot of good things in life because I orchestrate it for them. They need to realize that all of that doesn't come from fairy dust and wishing. MOM does it. Once in a while, be nice.
OK, so how the story ended . . . I didn't make them dinner on Christmas. (Luckily, no company for us.) They made themselves bacon and eggs. I wasn't hungry and I told them I was going to take care of myself. Today, 12/26, is my birthday. One son made me breakfast this a.m. They all said they were sorry, and DH told me this morning that he was sorry for setting a bad example for them on Christmas Eve and making the boys go. He also gave me a very nice birthday present.
I am soooo glad. Even with her gone
I still don't plan on watching it. When they brought on Rosie, I saw a side of Barbara and Elizabeth that I don't like. I never cared for Joy so guess the show just isn't for me!!! I liked Meredith and Star. The original group made for some interesting, intelligent conversations. Don't need any more crap TV.
bye bye Rosie
That is soooo true.
Sometimes I post under Me, but it is I, Misha with the dirty-nose dog. And you're right, you have to snap the picture quick because the dirt falls off their Teflon-like fur.
In the first picture of your dog I have a strange urge to start tufting her. In the next picture she's all brushed out - whew. It's hard to control that urge to pluck loose tufts.
Soooo true! LOL! nm
!
Soooo happy! sm
As the Tacoma newspaper headline read, Phinally! Wish I could skip work and go to the parade...just like when I skipped school in 1980 for that parade.
Soooo....I'm getting braces...please sm
Does anyone have any advice for taking care of braces that the dentist doesn't tell you? What to expect while getting them on, how to take care of them afterward, etc. I've never had to deal with braces before...no kids. And I'm not sure what to expect. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks
That is soooo funny!
Do any of you cat lovers have info/ideas about allergy to cats? I absolutely love them but immediately start itching then wheezing when I get close to one. This year my daughter started feeding a stray cat. A few months later the cat started "talking" to her, and shortly thereafter led 3 little kittens up to her. Forward 7 or so months to our freezing winter and 3 more darling kittens. She set them up in a spare bedroom, but of course they are beginning to trapse out and about (4 weeks old). They are adorable. The 2 grandsons of course are carrying them all over the house and bringing them to show grandma how cute they are. So far Benadryl and a lot of CPAP is keeping me breathing. An allergist told me years ago that taking "shots" did not help with continuous exposure. In another 3 months or less, hopefully, the weather will be where they can safely be set up outside. Also my daughter has promised they will all go to the vet and the momma will be spaded, and whatever else needs to be done for them. But 8 cats!! and they are all adorable. Help!! Thank you ever so much for any advice/input/experience you have.
This sounds soooo good - sm
do you get this out or you make it yourself? If you make it yourself, how?
I am soooo glad I grew up when I did
This comes from an older voice but I had a close friend in high school. I used to visit in her home and had no idea that this girl only owned 1 blouse. She told me years later how poor she was and she washed that 1 blouse out every night and wore to school the next day = this was in high school. I still have this friend to this day, 40 something years later and so glad I was not so superficial as to just like someone for what they had or did not have.
I would fight you for that! He is soooo sexy....nm
nm
awwww....soooo sweet! Look
at those beautiful, loving eyes. I love animals and all 7 of ours are my children!
I SOOOO agree with you. You are spot on. nm.
nm
I am soooo decorating challenged and need help. I want to put some color
on my bedrom walls, I'm thinking a light sage color. If I paint the walls the sage color, does the ceiling get painted the same or an off/white? If I paint the ceiling the same color as the walls wont the room feel much smaller and "cave" like? I have comforter with olive, sage, dark brown colors. Average size room with windows on 2 walls so there will be light coming in.
Thanks for your ideas.
Soooo let's talk casinos and gambling
I had lunch today with my women's golf group at a buffet inside one of the local casinos. I was astounded to see how many people were in there, gambling away, mid-day, mid-week. I must admit, I've never been in a casino before this afternoon, so I am totally in the dark as to what the appeal is.
Any of you here enjoy the games, the gambling, the atmosphere (at least it wasn't smoky!)? What's the draw, cuz I sure don't get it?
Oh my gosh.. I agree he was soooo terrible! Sanjaya here we go again. nm
x
I soooo love Friday Night Lights, except sm
they are actucally putting it on Friday Nite. I am afraid that many people that watch this show actucally go to Friday nite hight school football. My hubby and son always go see our high school team play. I just don't want them to have low ratings and get dropped.
AW he is soooo cute. We just adopted Chip last week - sm
He is what the shelter called a beagle mix, but if he is mixed with anything I will eat my hat... Okay I do not have a hat, but I would be surprised...LOL.
Here is a pic of him..
[IMG]http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o182/mamahawn/chip3.jpg[/IMG].
I hope your transition is as easy as ours was. We have 2 other rescue doggies, both lab mixes and female and the three of them were fast friends. Of course we have no diningroom left with 3 creats in it, but who cares...
FEELINGS. . . SOOOO sick of that stupid thing! NM
xx
Soooo cute! I have a lab/great dane mix... scary to some 'cause he is so big. But he is a big wus
Are those mini-pins! A while ago I was running with Walter (my dog) and we came across a lady with 2 mini-pins. Walter wants to meet everyone and the lady said they were friendly so we let them sniff, but all of a sudden they were all over Walter with little tiny flashing teeth. Walter yiped like a little baby and skulked away and the lady said "oh my they never do that." Why do they always say that, like it is my big dog's fault?
Well anyway, just this weekend I saw the mini pins in her car at the market when by coincidence I parked next to it. When I opened my door they were up on the dash and leaping at the crack in the window and snarling and barking at me. I know they could not get to me but I cringed and hustled away. They looked really scary! I swear I felt like they could jump up on me and grab on something like my ears or something and not let go.
But I am sure they are sweet... NOT! But it goes to show you never know... they are all animals, after all. And like people all have very distinct personalities, very much formed by their family (the people family, I mean). I could tell the owner of the mini pins was kind of a ---- well you know, not that nice... she left them in the hot car, after all... and they were pretty much a product of their upbringing.
I too actually think pits have some of the sweetest dispositions I have ever met in a dog.
I'm very sorry for your loss. NM
NM
I am SO sorry for your loss--sm
I have followed your posts about Misha since you started and had high hopes that all would be well with her. I am crying now, and feel her loss probably as much as you do. I love animals and have had many in the past, some that I too had to let go. It is not an easy thing to do and I feel so badly for you! Misha is comfortable and happy now, and at peace. You will see her again and she will see you. Sasha may grieve, as well, now. I wish you all the best in the future. Take care.
Good bye Misha. You touched so many hearts!
ks
I am sorry for your loss, too. .. nm
x
So sorry for your loss also..nm
/
Your loss
I am just so near tears reading your loss. I am so, so very sorry.
So sorry for your loss :-( nm
x
I am so sorry for your loss.
jm
I'm Sorry for your loss - NM
NM
I'm sorry for your loss
My pets are my family, and I know how you feel. Hang in there...
So sorry for your loss
Sending cyber hugs. Believe me I know how it hurts. I'm sure kitty is at Rainbow Bridge, happy, healthy and full of life.
I'm Sorry for Your Loss Also - NM
NM
Sorry about your loss. when my dog
died last year, it was traumatic for me. Search Rainbow Bridge on the web. It is an inspiring story you may enjoy reading... susan
Sorry for your loss...
The recent news is just terrifying. I have 3 indoor cats and feed 6 outdoor cats the neighbors left when they moved. Luckily, I never fed my cats Iams on a consistent basis, but I have once in a while, as well as others.
Deeply, deeply sorry for your loss :(
I am very sorry for your loss...
I lost my brother to suicide almost 8 years ago. It shattered my whole world because we were so close. I have a big family, but my family to me was my mom and brother.
It was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, ever. I went through many stages too, and still to this day I sometimes think maybe it was just a dream, not real. I know it was real, but this other side of me thinks this from time to time. It is really hard to put in words.
It does get better though. With time, you start to heal and pick yourself up and move on. It is during this time though that you have to lean on whatever comforts you have, whether that is God, your friends, your family, etcetera.
All of my grandparents are gone now too. Unfortunately I was never close to any of them other than one grandpa who passed away first.
Good luck to you and hang in there...it will get better.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
The reason I was buying the ultra-premium dog foods with no gluten products was because I was trying to get Misha healthy, so her illness actually protected my other dog from an early death.
My loss-
I lost my first pregnancy at 16 weeks. At that time I was completely heartbroken. I was confused and mixed up as to why it happened. It has taken me a long time to remember the date of my miscarriage and date the baby would have been born without making myself completely depressed. I have now seen all the events in my life since then and I have come to realize, which was so hard for me to hear and accept at that time- is that things may happen for a reason and be for the better. It is the worst to hear, but it is what you need to find on your own. I am sure your blessings in life will find you, whether they are a wonderful and happy life with your husband, the joy of a pregnancy to fullterm with a child to love or anything else in life that brings a smile to your face and peace in your soul. My child would have been 10 year this August. I always take that week of my estimated due date and just give a moment to think about what could have been. It does take time and I hope you find some comfort in time. My thoughts are with you and your loss.
Am sorry for your loss.
and am on oxygen at night, nasal cannula, not CPAP, and I absolutely hate it. I wake up and it has come off, so it really is not doing me any good. I should probably ask to be switched to CPAP. Again, very sorry for your loss. P.S. Am going in for lap band surgery and so hope to get rid of the oxygen totally in the future.
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my sister several years ago to cancer so I can relate. It makes you realize just how fragile life really is. What a beautiful way to honor your sister, thanks for sharing the pic.
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.
A friend of mine and former boss lost her husband very suddenly in a work accident when they were both in their early 30s - 5 years ago this week actually. I think she might have tried the online way for awhile, but I know she ended up going to a grief counselor in person eventually, which really helped her. She took her 2 small kids for a few sessions as well, if I remember correctly, and when she was about to remarry, her finance went as well.
I'm not one to take meds unless I absolutely have to, but have you considered seeing your doctor for some sort of antidepressant? You sound very depressed, which is understandable. And people that tell you it's time to snap out of it can take a flying leap as far as I am concerned. Everyone grieves differently and at different paces. One step forward and 2 steps back a lot of the time. Just when you think you have a handle on it, something goes haywire.
((((hugs))))
I'm so sorry for your loss...
I'm close to my mom also and I do dread that milestone. We lost her sister suddenly 6 years ago, who I was extremely close to ("second mom"), and it took a long time, a couple of years, for me to be able to even think of her without crying.
Beliefnet.com has some good reading resources on grief, I think. I think they have forums also, but am not sure. It's definitely worth exploring the site, though, since they often mention other resources outside of their site.
Good luck to you.
I am so very sorry for your loss - sm
May she live on in your heart with the good memories you shared together...
I'm so sorry for your loss. sm
She has gone to the Rainbow Bridge where I think you are right, she is sunning herself and happy.
This is one of the most heartwrenching things to go through but it sounds like Mochi was in a lot of pain and was ready to rest and that was truly the last, best gift you could give her in setting her free.
Fly free without pain, Mochi.
So very very sorry for your loss. nm
!
So sorry for your loss.
nm
Sorry for your loss. RIP CJ nm
x
Sorry for your loss . . . perhaps you could
sprinkle them somewhere that the two of you enjoyed together or as a family, since neither of your children are interested in having them.
I'm sorry for your loss.
She's warm and comfy now. There will be 4 cats at my new job. Apparently some interact with the workers, whether they are expecting it or not. Should be interesting to be cat ambushed while concentrating on a new job, LOL.
For some happy news, I just scheduled a July vacation. My brother and his family are going.
Other family members could come also, but it's hard to get everybody to agree on a location. Some of the best-off family members are balking at the cost of the hotel instead of just saying "Wow, it's right on the beach and it has all these amenities and we are going to have a blast." Oh well, those that go will have fun and those that don't will wish they did.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
He was just adorable.
Sorry for your loss
and the grands that I reffered to who lost their gc to foster parents by the state was the state of Georgia, just outside of Atlanta. The child was taken from the hospital at age 2 weeks and adopted by the foster family at age 9 months, even though the grandparents (who already had the older 2 siblings in their care) were petitioning to adopt. This is a valid reason to keep kids with family.
So sorry for your loss. nm
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my "first child" at 13 in 2000 and still miss him deeply. The pain does eas with time and the good memories stay, though it does take much time. God bless.
Very sorry for your loss
Thank you for sharing your story.
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