So what you are saying is we've reached our limit? That we don't deserve any more kindness?

That's how you operate in life?  You just deem people unworthy of your time, your kindness? 

You know, curious girl, isn't asking you for money or a place to live or anything except for a few kind words on a freaking screen!!!  How difficult is that?!!?!?!  You act like she's knocking on your blasted door and begging you to help her.  She's not asking you to do anything but LISTEN!! 

My God!  You people are incredibly callus.  I feel sorry for you.

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protecting those we love. It is always the bad guy everyone wants to protect, thus the state of things today. If a person is not read his rights in the proper manner we let a serial killer at large. I never took the bleeding heart side and never will. Get tough on crime and do what it takes to protect what is yous.

...is a very good sign. It means that she hasn't entirely given up hope yet. But she needs all the support she can get. I don't know what resources are available in your area or what she has already tried, but she needs to get into therapy immediately and she needs to find a way to obtain her medications and start taking them again. There are agencies which can help with problems like these - you can help her search for them and help her do whatever is required (filling out applications, etc.) to get her going - because of her depression, she may not have the energy to do all of this on her own right now.

The most important thing you can do is to let her know that you are there for her, that she is important to you, and that ALL problems are solvable - maybe not in exactly the manner we would prefer (it is possible she may lose her house) but sometimes a situation that seems so dire at the time may end up having an unexpected, positive affect on our lives. Believe me, I speak from personal experience.

Kudos to you for being so caring and concerned about your coworker.

I really have no worry that I would act on this.  I just don't get any girl time with my friends to talk about these kind of things heart to heart.  I was trying to be honest and acknowledge the weirdness of it and I was looking for someone who could say yes, they know what I am talking about, and maybe share their own experience.

Thanks again, you are a sweet lady.  

understanding in a situation like this is so valuable. I always try to do the right thing, take care of my family, be polite, be a good driver, etc.  I was struggling for a minute about right and wrong, but they come up to you without notice and it is all over so quickly.  They catch you off guard and that is their plan. 

In case anyone is wondering, God truly did save my life with the other incident I mentioned that happened years ago.  I was forced into my car and was told to hand the keys over.  He told me he was going to drive and to shut up.  I knew I was helpless and called on God out loud in the car.  I prayed my heart out, and all of a sudden his demeanor changed. He went from being demanding and in control to being nervous and shaking. 

I slowly reached for the door handle without making a sound and he got out of the car and we talked over the roof of my car for a few minutes.  Later I identified him at the police department from pictures and he was wearing a hospital gown in the picture.  He was just discharged the day he forced me into his car from the psychiatric unit from our local hospital.  That night after our encounter he literally rushed back to the hospital and begged them to readmit him because he was going to steal my car and rape me. I asked the police officer if he was going to kill me, and the officer just looked at the floor in silence. 

God is good, and so are all of you for caring.  To this day my family walks with me to my car when leaving their homes.  I cannot do it alone at night anymore.  Every time I come home and it is dark I feel someone behind me and there is no one there.  You are never, ever the same after you experience something like that. 

As far as yesterday, I do believe there was an angel present;  just one I could not see. 

I'm bringing the Random Acts of Kindness thread back up to the top.  Anyone want to join me in committing to do one of these week?  More ideas can be found by googling Random Acts of Kindness.

How do ya feel about cats?  That's what I'd do...get a cat...but I love cats and love it when they bring me 'presents' of dead varmints. 

If that's not an option, and you're not comfortable with baiting, glue traps, or that sort of thing, it'd be worth it to hire a professional 'cridder ridder' or exterminator.  Those things will chew up your walls and floorboards like you have no idea and cause incredible amounts of damage.  Good luck in your jihad! 

I've done that along with changing my diet but still no relief.  I just received an e-mail saying to try vitamin E which is what I am going to try next.

Thanks a bunch.....

where to I go to do this, remove IE7 and reinstall IE6.

TIA

I understand.  For 17 years I dealt with this, always feeling like I was never doing enough, if only I could do more then maybe....  I became very ill myself because of it.  I had no life of my own, -- I lived for the next crisis, just like you -- and no one could understand, not even my doctor.  I didn't find peace until I took the burden off my shoulders and put it on His--until I realized I had a responsibililty to God for my own life and I was losing my life, my freedom to find His Will for me and do it, to someone else's addiction.  In this case, it was my mothers's.  She was there night and day as well, no escaping.  I gave up my outside job and worked from home too.  I finally had to move in order to remain sane and THEN other family members had to start doing their share of helping out while I tried to regain some sense of self. It wasn't until then that she even got a clue that I had a right to my own life. 

Your daughter, loved though she be, is robbing you of your life.  That is not right.  But I don't know of a stronger bond than that between a mother and a daughter no matter what problem may arise.   One can never really walk away, forget it, etc. like so many will tell you to do.  Inside, that bond lives strong.  All you can do is find a way to deal with it, a way that is fair to you, healthy for you, a way that will keep you strong or else she will take you down with her. 

For me, it was distancing myself physically and praying for her.  I realized for all my love of her, only He could make the changes in her, and He did once I acknowledged how true the words are, "Without Me, you can do nothing."  Now I pray for and expect miracles if it so be His Will when I have problems I cannot resolve.  It brings great peace and strength -- and HOPE because I've seen first-hand how prayer made with faith truly does bring them and I don't feel like I am carrying the burden all by myself anymore and then I accept whatever He lets happen, realizing He in His wisdom knows more than I.   

Talk to a therapist -- tell them what you've just written here.  Again, they might have access to resources you don't know about.  If their advice sounds harsh, and it probably will, listen anyway.  Consider it.  Your life DOES matter too.  But don't ever lose hope in God.  Ask for the strength and courage to do what must be done for the sake of the both of you and grace for her to change.  Nothing is impossible for Him to do.  Nothing. 

Have you read the books by Melodie Beattie?  They help.  Feel free to e-mail me if you wish.