So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it
Posted By: was the wives divorcing him? on 2007-01-22
In Reply to: don't want to rain on your parade, but I too --sm - noone
Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives? Are you catching my drift? I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's? Just a thought. I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 
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That's quite a lot to assume that because
I don't attend church that I don't worship.
Sounds like maybe you need to do a little more worshiping!
Yes! Thanks very much. I assume I can buy the
wicks and scents from Walmart/Target craft department?
Please do not assume (sm)
That I have "never picked up a Bible or attended church much at all." You would be wrong. I do not believe in judging people and telling people who will go to Heaven and who will not. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone that their loved one will not go to Heaven because of their religion - and unless you happen to be the Second Coming personified, you shouldn't either.
I assume you said...sm
rebellion because she chose to keep her maiden name. We don't discuss that in our family. LOL
you cannot assume
that she is on welfare. Maybe she is. but if so, do you really think that monetary compensation for the babies would hold a light to all she has to do to take care of them now and heart aches to come for the next 20 years? My concern is more for whether she LOVES her children and raises them well than the money and where it comes from.
My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
That's a lot to assume. Everyone has bad days.
Everyone shouldn't be so quick to judge!
Even though I'm not in the mood, I usually give my husband a smile or something. He usually just smiles and then leaves me alone. I think sometimes even if they aren't getting anything they still just want to feel wanted, ego boost, whatever you want to call it. :)
When you assume....you are usually wrong..
as you were in this case...I used to live on a corner lot and when working away from home broken into probably 6 or 7 times, had to have bars put on the windows, stolen from- my son went by the house once and called me and told me he was there as were the police, just broken in on. One time I was at home, the house dark and someone entered the door thinking no one was there. Oh, by the way, had an exhusband who also stalked me for a long time. Please do not assume when you don’t really know about someone else. Unlike others considering being paranoid, just things happened to me like it happens to others- I just got over mine...
I'm not sure of specifics, I assume it was
T3, T4 and TSH. Are there others they can check if these are normal? Everything I read says if thyroid usually these levels are affected. I appreciate all of your responses. I'm very nervous.
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.
I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
I am told never assume as you did
because you are usually wrong and such is the case here, and by the way, you are excused.
don't assume a 29-year-old is
responsible, either. My sister still lives at home (27) and my parents do her laundry, tell her to pay her bills, make her supper and clean her room. The age of the sister isn't the issue here.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
assume this is true. God help you
and get away from him. get to the women's shelter, in fact, you probably need the witness protection program. he cannot legally drop insurance on the kids with a court order. There has to be someone legal to help you and the women's shelter or crisis abuse hotline knows all the numbers. outside of your kids it does not sound like you would be leaving much behind if you just went with what you could carry. I would take ANY death threat seriously and the fact he is now turning it on the kids is worrisome. Good luck.
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.
I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.
Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
Assume the smoking outside will not last. sm
I've lived with smokers. They all say they'll only do it outside. They ALL eventually revert to doing it inside. Especially when you are the only non-smoker. Consider how this will affect you. They may be awesome, but they're awesome smokers.
assume you are talking about sm
Something called big love, it's disgustingly funny, watch it so I know what some will do in the name of the Almighty One. I am a God-loving person but give me a break, please!! Let's just see if wife #4, the waitress gets to join the love fest. Yuk! Double Yik, yuk! Throwing up!
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
Not true. Don't assume because you store something somewhere
that the person storing it is liable if something is lost or stolen. In fact, I had stuff stolen from a storage facility and they were not liable. Luckily my homeowners insurance paid.
In this case I believe both husbands were at fault. OPs husband because he chose rest rather than being sure that the quads were safe....and BIL because he shouldn't have accepted responsibility for the quads if he didn't feel he could store them safely. Both should take equal responsibility for the loss IMO.
I assume you're single.......
You need to call this guy. Call him at the office with a "question" and see where the conversation takes you.....Good luck!!!
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
And you assume you are the only woman this has ever happened to??
Unbelievable. I have gone thru exactly the same thing, abused, mistreated, broken arm, blackened eyes. What does that have to do with forgetting other than possibly all those hits to the head. My children do not motivate me to remember. My dear, loving husband does not motivate me. My loving cats do not motivate me. No one can motivate me to remember, just ain't there. Very responsible person, pay all my bills, run 3 different homes, rentals included, write things down or give to hubby like I said so I won't misplace. I call that pretty responsible. I think no one should assume about another person's life when they really don't have a clue as to what they have been through.
Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact. My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends. They did have kids together and no I was never jealous. He cheated, we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk. He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed. Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk. So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on. Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies. I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father.
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
and I assume they have all signed HIPAA
contracts! Sorry about your loss. That is a crowded workstation. Why do my cats think they can sit in my lap while I type?
I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that. Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships." There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one. Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head? They both have positives and negatives, as we all do. I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret. I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead." Help!!!
Why do you assume she married the money?
Jealous much?
I can't speak for her, but I've been married for 13 years and my husband certainly wasnt making 6 figures when I married him. Some people have goals in life, and do things early on in their life/career to help them attain those goals.
Plus, you act as if a 6-figure income is rich and let me tell you, it's far from it (assuming she is on the lower end of that 6 figures as our household is).
I'm not trying to slam anyone, honestly, it just amazes me some of the things people are posting to save money and makes me wonder how they can be content with their job/life if they have to struggle that much. This is still America, the land of opportunity, and we all have a chance to better ourselves if we choose to do so. Granted it is harder these days than say, 10 years ago, but it is still possible. Cripes, there are illegal immigrants living better off than it sounds like some of you are!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can't force him to leave. At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn't want to leave the house. Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can't afford to get a place right now. She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn't know what to do. It is like she can't get rid of him. He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won't get out. She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
Why do you assume we're "behind"? sm
I think you'll find just the opposite to be true. Most of the therapies have come from adult stem cell research done in the US, or by American researchers in collaboration with those from other countries.
More to the point, and I hate to keep having to say this, my original post took no position against ESC research. I only pointed out that it does not appear to hold the promise that those who are grabbing for federal tax dollars would have you believe, that it has had a number of problems (such as seeding people with cancer), AND that it is a grave mistake to open these doors without due consideration for the potential risk to human embryos.
Let's think about this last point for a minute. It seems that this sort of precipitous action is becoming a habit with this administration.
We see this in the precipitous passage of the bailout package without the five days promised to read it.
We see it with Guantanamo, releasing terrorists BEFORE conducting the review that Obama himself promised.
We see it in the debacle of the proposal to Russia to dismantle the missile shield if Russia would help with Iran, which was releasedto the American press before it was discussed with Russia in displomati circles and, as a result, getting a world-class come-uppance when we were turned down like a bedspread by Putin.
I could go on, but this President is proving to be distressingly naive, politically inept, and impulsive. Whether it's throwing $billions at "fixing the economy" without proper safeguards, ESC research without proper safeguards, releasing Guantanamo prisoners without proper review, announcing the date of withdrawl from Iraq months in advance, or releasing sensitive diplomatic information to the press prematurely, the Obama administration needs to grow up and slow down.
One almost has the sense that Obama knows he will only have four years, and if he doesn't become much more measured in his actions, he just might be right.
I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
oooooooh nooooooo....dont assume anything
NOT on line. I went to a party....much like tupperware or candle party. Only women. It was so darn much fun - in fact, I think it was called a *Fun Party*. It was done tastefully, as much as possible considering it started out with this 2 or 3 foot plastic/rubber phallus in the middle of the floor. The hostess explained all the products and how to use them, etc., etc. She even let you try out some samples of things, privately in a separate room if you wanted. And when it came time to order, that was done privately also. If you wanted to tell your friends what you bought, you could. If you didnt want anyone to know, that was up to you.
We did have refreshments and, no, hot dogs were not served.
Come to think of it, we were mostly all transcriptionists there! Ages from 20s to 60s. We all worked together. I guess we MTs are just a fun lovin bunch!!!
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important. So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage. Do something before it escalates. This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
Nope - we assume it'll be tough
I think boomers are the last of the "fix it" generations - able to make simple repairs, jump a stalled vehicle, do things "the hard way/old fashioned way" on manual, non-electronic office equipment and machines, tell time on a wind-up non-digital clock.
Many people from younger generations admit they know how to do very little unless it happens to be their college-trained specialty. Things boomers take for granted as normal life skills like
Sew up a rip in clothing or replace a button
Pull a car out of a ditch or change a flat tire
Cook dinner from scratch, and substitute ingredients in a pinch
Do long division on paper instead of a computer, and make change without electronic help
Many who don't know, don't want to learn - they always assume there'll be someone out there they can hire to do it for them. As a boomer I've always been shocked and dismayed at younger generations blithe lack of self-sufficiency. Seems like they don't know how to do anything - and don't want to know.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
I guess these are the times when people just assume without knowing...
I said when I answered her call "She seemed out of sorts, curt reply, telling me to call her back." Well, with all "assuming" that is going on, I assume people are not reading the post as I stated. If she thinks I am angry, I have told her to ask me. A person who assumes is wrong a lot of the time- as you were here.
Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
It's just as rude to assume everyone will want to drop everything to talk to you when you call. n
nm
Most people would assume mom was cremated and waiting to bury urn
at least that's what I think.
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
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