Since we are talking relationships on this board ---
Posted By: anon on 2008-12-15
In Reply to:
How long is too long to wait on somebody?
I have been with my boyfriend for over 10 years now - 5 really serious, living together. Even though most of the time I am miserable, most of the time, I just keep on staying because "I love him" and he will "grow up" in time.
He does not want to get married right now, even though "one day" I am who he plans to marry... he stays out with the guys all the time (6 days out of 7), not coming home lots of nights because he had too much to drink or he just lost track of time and then fell asleep (and yes, I believe him as to the whys)....
But I am tired of being alone all the time... I am tired of being responsible for holding the relationship together. When I tell him it has to stop and he has to pay more attention to the relationship if he wants it to work, he always responds he is working on it but that it takes a while to change habits.
My problem is a couple of years ago I met a very nice man who could take care of me easily... and has offered to do so many times. He is now ready for a relationship and not just a friendship with me (which is all it has been). I know that I don't love him, don't know if I ever will love him, but I also know that right now, love is not doing too much for me except causing heartache and tears on a daily basis...
So, again, how long is too long to wait on the person you love to grow up?
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Which board are we talking about?
I was assuming she was talking about MTDaily, and that IS a pay-to-join forum.
sometimes in couple relationships
one couple is the _leader_ couple and the other is the _follower_ couple. It may just be that after a period of time, this couple is feeling that they want to spread their wings a bit and establish their own traditions...and just don't know how to communicate that to you without hurting your feelings (which hurts because of the noncommunication and you are left to wonder what is going on!).
You have extended your offer for your New Year's party. Maybe pick a time when you know that no one will be home at your neighbors and call to leave a casual message that even if they have something else planned, they are welcome to drop in for whatever time they could spend so you and yours can wish them a happy start to the new year. Otherwise, I would just let things play out. When the time is right to talk about what is going on, you and the other family will know it. Try to keep an open mind and a good relationship.
Just think of how many of them are unhappy in relationships though,
their spouse or SO for someone they co-star with. Im just thinking it takes a very strong person to see or think about the one you love kissing and becoming intimate with someone else, even if it is "pretend", and then to have them say they liked it"? Give me a break, that would be insulting to the spouse or SO - IMO.
I know I could not do it, and I am not usually a jealous person.
For those of us in bad relationships - some info (sm)
This is my marriage in a nutshell...it explains so much!! I found it while looking up some of the abuse cycle info suggested by other posters..thank you
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Simplified
It looks like this... Your partner treats you and perhaps your children different in private than in public. In public he may ignore you giving all of his attention to others, or pretend to be the perfect husband or father, while in private he may be sarcastic, haughty and insulting. He may put down his friends to you (behind their back). He may have a very inflated sense of entitlement and ego, thinking he deserves things that he hasn’t worked for or earned and he may lie and manipulate people for attention, acting a bit too good to be true. This can fool people and so few will believe how he talks to his family in private (I say ‘he’, because the majority of NPD sufferers are men). He may also show little or no regard for your well being or your feelings.
That’s not all...
He may lie about you or paint a bad picture of you to gain sympathy from others and to justify his own bad behaviour. You may not know all of the lies he is telling you and telling others about you...
The recommendations I have to offer are relevant whether you know that your partner has NPD or not. They are steps for anyone living with marital abuse. They are aimed at protecting you while giving your marriage the best chance of healing. They are steps recommended by people who work in the front line with these issues everyday.
Not all people with NPD are physically abusive, but it is a significant indicator. The physical abuse is not always perpetrated by the person with NPD either. It is normal to become very angry with someone who manipulates you and puts you down. It is normal after years of this treatment to even want to kill them or wish them dead. This is one reason why knowing how to get help and support is so important.
Men and Women- Relationships
I have heard people call their husbands or wives stupid. I am just curious. Do you believe there is really a dialogue between the genders. Do you respect your mate and vice versa.
I was watching Mad Men and the whole relationship between men & women in the 1950ies was very different. Men treated women as if they were children. They were petted and coddled, but these woman had no power, no sense of responsibility.
My husband is my partner. We make decisions that effect us jointly, together. I have my own bank acct. and he does too. We try not to have secrets. Most importantly- I am an individual in this marriage and so is he. If I didn't feel that way, I'd walk.
Platonic Relationships
Can an unmarried heterosexual man and woman have a very close friendship and it remain platonic?
I prefer superficial relationships
I find that the only people I like are the ones I don't know very well. So I try to like everyone I meet, and just keep it light.
Relationships - new type of topic
I'm reading through all the posts below (where did you meet your spouse, what was your first meal, etc). I'm wondering how many of you out there would be perfectly happy living by yourself. I absolutely hate those dating commercials (eharmony, etc). Why does society try to make us feel that we have to have that "someone special" in our lives or we are nothing. A lot of times that "someone special" turns out to be "nobody special" but you don't find that out until your married and its too late. HA HA
I have always believed that before planning your life with someone you should first be true to yourself. Get to know yourself. What is is you want out of life. Can you achieve that goal on your own. I always have felt I did not enter with world with a man attached to my side and I won't be leaving this world with one attached to my side either. I'm am me, I'm a whole person. I have interests, thoughts, and beliefs, that are not always the same as my "other halfs". I am married right now, but to tell the truth I would be perfectly happy living on my own also. I've got lots of family and friends to do activities with, so there is not an issue of ever being lonely. You can be alone without being lonely.
Just wonder how many people are so attached to their spouse they feel life would not be worth anything if they were without them and if so why.
Im not talking about a check. Im talking about a positive administration working FOR Americans and
Not receiving a check each month to help us out is not what got us in this mess...
Great advice from Madea on relationships sm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqDU6CPwy6Q
If you have ever been lonely, or in a bad relationship, this is for you!!!
What's the difference between talking on cell and talking to person sitting across from you?
You should be ignoring people at other tables and MYOB.
She wasn't talking to you, BTW. She was talking about the 2 posters below! nm
m
Could someone tell me if there is a Christianity board as well as a prayer board (sm)
or are they one in the same? I have some faith related questions, but don't want to post on the prayer board again if it is specifically for prayer requests. I do not see a Christianity board listed. Thanks so much.
Main board, gab board, company, etc, just like here,
x
Am not talking politics here at all, talking
about how she views the southern culture which apparently she knows very little. I do not care about her politics- what I care about is by making a statement like that only shows a persons ignorance. My maid is working today, has lived in the gettos all her life in a big city and when I asked her about it she said something she has not seen in maybe 30 years. In her neighborhood there is all sort of crime that goes on (well, that is about everywhere) but if anyone would see it she would be 1. Like I say, could care less about Whoopie's political views other than the fact she got that wrong. Neil Boortz also was saying the same,;he said she was probably still holding the south in such a light because of her inability to go into a upper class restaurant here in town dressing in blue jeans. Being as she was born in NYC, we southerns still say da.n yankees! So true here.
naw - that was the old board that did that, aka the 'other' board!
why was it here and not on the Politics board anyway?
Look who's talking!
So what are you doing here? Also, it should be "as well as the ones WHO answered this", by the way.
look whose talking too!
Maybe that is me you are talking about?
Hey, I thought I was consoling when I said that maybe she had religion in her heart but hey, read into it whatever you want. You cannot save everyone and if she had wanted to hear you, you would not have been hushed. I lost my grandmother 30 years ago and I was extremely close to her and visited her often. I remember her fondly. I for 1 do not believe that only Christians are the chosen ones so if your grandmother was another religion that you do not approve of, she might have picked the right one, who knows? My heart was in the right place when I answered you but apparently you thought otherwise.
If a guy is still talking to his
and they have no kids together, been divorced almost a year, that's bad, right?
She cheated, why would he want to talk to her still?
that's OK. keep talking.
She really has her heart set on Pratt so spending 4 days in Brooklyn to learn her way around a little. She is a thrift store junkie so we will be exploring Park Slope and Williamsburg anyway. Juniors sounds like a definite. Thank you so much. So much to choose from, we never know where to begin, but we are both adventurous eaters and willing to try anything. We will both have a big huge fattening piece of cheesecake for you! Brooklyn gardens has been on my list for years so this is the year for that also.
But it is CNN along with others, we are not talking
about talk, regular every day news, local, nightly. As far as the newspapers, I learned several years ago the news terribly slanted and now the news is sensationalized. These stories I listed are on CNN news page as we speak.
What are you talking about???????????????
l
that's what I was talking about...
and we have an owl on this property (that nobody can see) for a couple of years and he/she does hoot and sometimes his/her hoot can go on for hours and all different times of the day/evening. Been living here for 17 years on this property and while I have always *heard* this owl occasionally....his/her hooting has increased tenfold over time.
Last night the birds were chirping big time around 11 pm or midnight! I just don't get it......well, I DO get it....and it's scary....*thoughts of the future and the environment*
not really...we have tried talking to them about it before but they don't get it...
We are always doing something and I just find it so rude that we don't even get a phone call before stopping over...we love having them but just want a little respect in that area...My parents always call before coming over...
can you use (is this what you are talking about)
the inexpensive throws you see everywhere - rolled up - like big lots and target - I am not spending a lot this year and have two adult daughters who are always cold - this sounds so cool.
Just talking about this
Had my mother lived, she would be incensed. We have bent over backwards trying to be correct while our freedoms, celebrations, what have you are disappearing. There are all kind of people in the work force, you cannot please each and every one. It is like a person not liking a particular television show, darn turn it off, don’t look, don’t join in with the rest but to say they don’t believe in it?? I don’t believe in a lot of others beliefs but I leave them alone, I do not try to push my beliefs, values on them. We are slowly losing our country, little by little.
Just talking about this...
I would like to say that I am of the Jewish faith, and I have always went along with the Christmas Parties, etc. It doesn't offend me as I know that the majority celebrates Christmas. I am married to a Christian, so we celebrate both. My children are versed in both religions and I think that it will make them more rounded individuals when they get older. So don't go slamming everyone for their beliefs. Everyone's different.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!
I really don’t know what you are talking about
I said sorry for the child taking irradiation- I said we all have problems - we do. I said thought 14 too old for paddling - I do. The original poster put in about the padded panties and how her bottom looked or should look without the bruising. Where do I come off being horrible? Do not understand your post. She has gone into much detail about the wheres and whys and how the paddling to take place. I still find that really, really strange and question the validity of that.
Exactly what I'm talking about..sm
People so bitter around here for something that is happening to another person that will in no way affect them or their tax dollars, and here they want to whine about it. It is not your life, it is not your daughter's life, so why not just leave it be if you have nothing nice to say? Bah. Old biddies I guess ;)
If you really want to get them talking
If you don't care what she says about you, you could always ask her if she has had her rabies shot today. Then say "Yeah, I wanted to give you something else you can talk to other people about me behind my back". But then again, if you have to be around her the best advice is what everyone else said...stay away from her. She is definitely mentally imbalanced. I used to belong t a quilting group and this one lady would talk about church, church, church, sunday school, we did this and we did that, we do good things for people, and then in the same breath talk really nasty about people. One time she said such an insensitive remark to me about my husband (whom she had never met) I left in the middle of my lesson in tears and never went back to that group and joined another. I never gave this lady a chance to say another mean word to me. People like this are just truly ignorant. I call them energy vampires. They suck all the energy right out of you and believe me, they are out there. Best of luck to you.
Are you actually talking about someone else? sm
Maybe a friend you fell out with and you know she reads this board? If you really are talking about yourself, go talk to a doctor and get some antidepressants :-)
wth are you talking about?
not sure how you figure insurnace companies charge you for other people's kids...
i know what you are talking about sm
i'm fascinated with spirit stuff. i know what orbs are. maybe i should take some pictures around our house. we haven't had any family pass. he explains to me what the ghost looks like. once he said he saw the grim reaper in the bath tub. i don't in anyway put these ideas in his head. i don't even bring them up. but when he brings them up, i don't brush it off, i ask him what he saw, if he was scared, if they talk to him. i don't want him to feel like he can't come to me and tell me these things. my hubby on the other hand, doesn't believe in that stuff, and i haven't even told him that our 6 y/o says he sees stuff like that. he'd think i was feeding it in his head, but i don't. i had a dream once when i was pregnant with my first son. it was the most amazing dream i had ever had. i dream in color, and they seem so real. anyway, i was pregnant with my first kid, didn't know what i was having at the time of this dream. in my dream an angel came to me (she looked like my mom --- my mom is still alive) and she was holding a baby. it was a baby boy. after i had my first boy, he looked exactly like the baby in my dream that the angel was holding. it was just amazing!!!!
Are you talking about
David Duchovny from the x-files? If so, I have been moderately obsessed with him since the 90's. :)
Yes. I think I had what you are talking about,
but thankfully mine did not last that long. I still from time to time will get it, but again very briefly. Hope it gets better for you very soon.
are you talking about
the graduation party being the night of graduation? HOW COMPLETELY RUDE for the sis-in-law to say that! The wedding date isn't set yet, its not YOUR fault if they decide that month that weekend, etc! How selfish of her to send that nasty e-mail! I'm so sorry! Graduation is a big deal, they can get married any day, any time of year, graduation is not any time of the year. If they set it on that weekend AFTER you already sent the save-the-date email, that would make me feel they are being selfish too. I'm sorry you're having such a bah-humbug time of year!!
DH and I were just talking about this
last night. We saw the Shamwow guy's new infomercial for the chopper...listen closely to the chopped nuts part if you see it. We think he is the next generation of Mays. At least the Shamwow guy is hysterical.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????????????
say the baby "dropped" as in dropped into your pelvis??? I'm seriously hoping that was a joke!!!
WHAT are you talking about?
No one here is saying anything about where it came from. Most have the sense to know it was a gift, already heard. We are talking pets, not politics.
you might be talking about the BMI....nm
nm
I think what she was talking about
is about single parents - not having the mother or father present but still can raise your kids right...like my daddy did with me :)
We were just talking about that!
That's so funny - I was talking to my best friend on the phone and we said the same thing. She said she thought Debbie Rowe had made some effort to get back in the kids lives and, if so (and assuming she isn't a complete nut job), she should get the two back that are definitely hers.
Are you talking about the 1 on the
gurney with him being intubated?
Talking about dieting, has anyone
used Hoodia and if so, what kind of success have you had with it?
That's what we're talking about
It turns out he stood me up because he had been told I was too young for him, and didn't know how to say it. Yeah, that sounds lame, I know, but I believe him. We were only kids.
Anyway, we've talked about, if it lasts, sticking it out till we're old and gray, and eventually meeting again when we're both free. This may or may not happen. NOne of us are getting any younger. And, no, I'm not going to just sit around waiting for my husband to die. I've had a full life for 41 years - I can wait another thirty if necessary.
Are they talking laparoscopic?
I think the worse it is, the harder it is to do laparoscopically. It is much less painful to recover from the laparoscopic procedure. The surgery is routine, but there can still be complications, so just make sure you have an experienced surgeon and see what he or she says. And let people know so they can pray for you.
I'm not talking about her talent, but rather
her not being a good role model. I just don't see how that description fits.
It seems to me the person should be talking
to the person they are having dinner with and not someone on a phone. And as posted below, they usually have to talk rather loud and I do find that annoying.
My friend and I were just talking about that
I was over watching AI with her and she mentioned the same thing without even actually knowing about it. It was just a guess on her part.
He probably did it to keep people talking about him...sm
I do agree with Simon's comments about him, though. I thought Gina did the best she had ever sung last night and of course Lakeisha & Melinda were awesome. The guys overall still stink - out of the thousands that auditioned they should have picked better ones.
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