Home     Contact Us    
Main Board Job Seeker's Board Job Wanted Board Resume Bank Company Board Word Help Medquist New MTs Classifieds Offshore Concerns VR/Speech Recognition Tech Help Coding/Medical Billing
Gab Board Politics Comedy Stop Health Issues
ADVERTISEMENT




Serving Over 20,000 US Medical Transcriptionists

Since there are kids involved, I'd think long and hard (sm)

Posted By: anon on 2007-09-27
In Reply to: My husband refuses to move (sm) - Grounds for divorce??

about leaving him. It's quite easy for others to tell you he needs to be dumped, but they sure won't live with the aftermath.

Take the 100k and remodel the house. Forget adding on. Spend the money on creating a fabuous kitchen with hearth room, fix structural defects, redo the kids' rooms; totally redecorate exactly the way you want with no regard to his taste, and get a nice new minivan to haul the kids around to play dates.

Oh, spare a little money to build a bedroom in the barn. He loves the yard and barn so much, he can live there.

See, this way if you stay and work on your marriage, you'll have a beautiful home you can live with. If his selfish ways finally push you beyond tolerance and love for him, you'll have a great house to put on the market. With your half of the sale, you'll finally be able to have the home you've always dreamed of. It's a win-win for you.


Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu


Other related messages found in our database

Gays march for their rights to be involved with their long-time partners
health care should a drastic decision be made. It is usually a family member...even though we are the ones who take care of our partners when they are sick or dying. We fight for the right not to be thrown out of a shared house by the partner's parents. We want to honor our partner's wishes when they die as we are the ones who have spent years with them - not the family. These are just a few examples.

As far as your comment that we influence young people - that is absurd. All we want is to live our life and as pxmt said, be able to walk down the street without abusive comments, being assaulted, ridiculed, etc.

The school system is not segregating gay children - they are making it "gay friendly and teaching tolerance". Suicide is very high in gay children because of the parents who teach their children that it is evil and it is okay to bash a gay child. These schools are just trying to save the lives of young children.

As far as your comment that Christian's homes and churches are burned, sorry but I cannot recall one incident that I have read or saw on the news. Temples yes. As far as being assaulted for your beliefs, could it be because you stand in front of abortion clinics and gun down the doctors and nurses that come out or go into the clinic? Could it be that you bully the 15 and 16-year-olds who have been raped and want an abortion?

Sorry to say this, at least we (gays) are not violent and just want to be left alone.
How is it not a big deal when there are kids involved? (sm)
He has a choice - I have given him 10 years and he just does not care about my opinion. Why can he not change at all to keep his family together?
If you care about your kids, you will be involved sm
in the drama of high school life! I am very involved with my kids and their "drama" because I am a good listener and care about what my kids have going on in their life. I am there to listen to them and give them advice. Isn't that what parents are for?

I would throw the son a b-day party and if girls came, they came. If not, you can still have fun with just the boys. Do a campout for them. Sounds like the girl needs to get a life and get over it! She is just jealous.
Might be a little hard at first, but then you get used to it. Have your kids help.
xx
dating someone with kids is hard
Bottom line is he SHOULD put her first, because if he didn't what kind of man would he be? My point to you is that although I understand COMPLETELY how you feel... it's just not always justified. I couldn't deal with my situation with kids so I left it. I respect him as a man for being a great dad, but having broken homes and split families is sometimes very difficult, as atested to the way the daughter acts towards you. You have to realize this is the way it's gonna be... deal with it or leave... (im not trying to say it is easy or anything... just facts you know?)
I agree! Many kids are overweight, lazy and don't want to work hard for anything!
Good luck to them in the working world...how many do you think will actually do well? It's a scary thought.
Maybe so, as long as you dont have kids with him.
x
How long have you noticed your hard drives lasts when you are on the computer 24/7. My computer is
doing odd things and it looked like the hard drive is getting bad.  It is about 2-1/2 years old.  Actually the whole computer is about 2-1/2 years old. 
I've always let my kids keep messy rms as long as floor was clear & no food was in room. Bigger
s
Depends if it is long with pregnant pause um no. If it is long and juicy like an op YEP! Short ones
x
Not involved
NM
I would have never ever gotten involved with my
I only did because he accepts my biracial son and is a father to him. I guess you can say I settled. He loves me totally and completely but I cannot love him and will not marry him. ever.

I had it during my pregnancy a long, long time ago. Husband
aa
And I was involved with a CASA
before for stepgchildren and personally I did not find them to be that hot. They actually played a part in giving back the children to a strung-out mother who lived off the welfare system, never worked, lazy, good for nothing but they feel like "kids should be with their mothers." Ok, so they went back and last I heard the mother was gone and the kids out on the streets, oh well you live and learn. Mothers around not always the best.
Has anyone been involved with Meetup.com?
I've been thinking about starting a meetup group to get my daughter together with other girls her age who enjoy art and crafting. But I'm a little hesitant to start one because I don't have any experience with being involved in a group this way. I really wouldn't want to hold anything at my house right away with complete strangers, that would be something that could happen later on as we all got to know each other better. I would love to hear about experiences that people have had with any type of group that has met this way. Thanks!
There's a landlord involved here?
You have rights - if he is violating the rules and/or the law with respect to noise violations he either fixes the problem or moves. Check out the law in your state.
I didn't say I was getting involved - sm
I simply told the background and asked for positive thoughts for her and her son. That's it. I'm not going to tell her what to do.
Right now I am involved in about 15 things and I'm trying to sm
find a way to cut it down to half. If you are older and you don't have small kids, then I suggest getting involved in church more. I have 3 young sons so we are constantly going from ball practice to ball practice. In between that I teach 2 Sunday School classes, attend a mid-week Bible study, have lunch with husband every Friday, work out 4 days a week, work 25+ hours a week at MQ, visit friends and family out of town quarterly, PLUS I am involved heavily in 2 other major ministries at church - Pastor prayer partners and the Invitation Team.

If that isn't enough, I scrapbook like crazy and take lots of pictures.

I also write notes to people I haven't seen in a while, or I'll just write cards to people in general and tell them I'm praying for them and that takes an hour or so.

Oh, did I also mention that I am a freelance writer for a Christian publication?

I also write material and Bible studies for our church.

I used to bowl every Thur. morning, but quit that. May take up an evening league one night a week. I love to bowl.

I am up LATE every single night and hit the ground running early in the morning to start homeschooling. The only time I have to myself every single day is after 10 o'clock every night. If I need 2 hours I take 2 hours. If I need more sleep, then I'm in bed by 10:30. I take whatever time I need for myself every single day.

Find something you enjoy and just do it. Take a class at the library. Learn to quilt. Learn to sew. Learn to play an instrument. The key is doing something you enjoy doing: cooking, reading, etc.

Life is too short to waste doing nothing or sitting around wasting time. There's work to be done!!!!!!!
guess you'd say I'm really involved!
I was close to my mother's parents as a child. They were my second parents and I probably lived half the year on their farm. I see it as being a good thing for me. My GP lived way out in the woods and never drove "to town," so they only left home to attend weddings and funerals, otherwise my parent(s) took me there.

When my daughter was pregnant, I lived 1000 miles away, but we talked on the phone almost daily. When my GD was born, I was able to visit when she was 2 weeks old and I knew I had to move back to the area. She is a manipulative person and I had long ago set limits that I would do anything for her out of love that didn't involve money, so I kept my GD every other weekend and more if asked. I supported my daughter emotionally in every way I could. If she asked my opinion, I always tried to give a balanced opinion and never interfered when my opinion was not asked, although if something came up later I would try to offer options for a situation. When things fell apart for her, I am glad I was there to catch my GD so she was not lost to CPS. I am now adopting her.

I am blessed to be a grandmother...although I hope this is the only one :)
Grandparents are not involved much. . sm
It's funny you should ask this question today. My mom, who lives 90 minutes away, came for a visit. We haven't seen her in about 4 months. My 2-year-old didn't know who the heck she was and was scared of her for the first day she was here. We only see her 3 to 4 times a year. I wish we could see her more. My dad died when my oldest was one. He had never even met him.

My husband's parents have little to do with the kids. They live 20 minutes away, and we hardly see them. It really hurts because they always have my SIL's kids. They are the same age as my kids and spend almost every weekend at their house. During the summer, they spend even more time with them. After a couple of years of this, I finally asked them why they don't ever have my kids over. They said they will try to spend more time with them. Last summer, they invited the oldest to spend one night, and the SIL's kids were there. I am giving up. Sorry this got so long. I am really sad about this right now.
Involved with grandsons
age 15 and 8.... My DH & I sold our home as did my daughter and SIL. We bought one together. My daughter could not "bear" it if something happened to us so she pretty much decided this four years ago. So far it has worked out pretty well except I can't be involved with the grandsons spiritually as they are into another "type" of spiritual organization than I. That has been and probably always will be the most difficult task I have ever encountered to share my beliefs with them. I just continue to pray that everyone will be on the right path TOGETHER in the end.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
I did try to get a consumer advocate involved
but no luck. Called 1 day and would not take my call, guess he had more important ones that day. I agree totally with you about getting a news channel involved, I just decided maybe if I went the court way might would stand a chance, knew I could go after their banking acct or garnishment if the courts on my side and it turned out that way. The price they owe me has gone up over $100 just for my court costs and now they owe those in addition to what it was in the first place. The courthouse steps is the way the county does where I purchased the furniture. We could have it at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as long as I retrieve what is owed.
You talk like the only ones involved with big taxes
My father got killed in an accident, left me his property, I sold and for upcoming year MY taxes on that ALONE over $13,000.00. I did not fuss, I did not oh woe me- just put that money in the bank to draw interest until tax time. Know I owe and have that set aside. That does not count all the other taxes DH and I pay for the year and I sound like a grinch? Sure don’t get that remark. I am as much into keeping all that I can but EVERYONE (unless on welfare) has to pay their share, until and if they change the laws. I would be glad for any bonus he or I either one got but not happening here, so where does grinch come in?
Unless your son was involved in the incident, they probably would not inform you.
If the schools had to inform all parents of every single incident that occured between students, that could be a full-time job unto itself for 2 or 3 people in some schools. It sounds like the school took proper measures in disciplining the students involved in the incident.

As far as the post below regarding the 4th grade girl and her lies, I am sure that the boy in question knew what she was saying and may or may not have told his parent(s). At any rate, that would be a matter for the families of the children involved.
Illegal and all involved should be prosecuted.
NM
apologies heal all involved --
acknowledged or not.

I am inspired.
Does not really matter why, especially if there are children involved
x
My understanding is that both parties involved are black. nm
x
That is precious. It really is. Too many husbands not involved these days! nm
.
For the sake of her family. There are children involved.
nm
I don't understand the ethics of the doctors involved
xx
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Just started Healthy Performance..cooking involved though.
It has been just a little over 24 hours.  I CAN do this.  Sometimes it just takes a kick in the butt to get me moving in the right direction and I think this is gonna do it.  Good luck to you!
Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting
s
Dog killing and mayor involved in letter writing
I am really in a twizzy this morning. Shirley Franklin, city of Atlanta mayor, wrote a letter to the judge involved in the Michael Vick dog fighting/killing asking for leniency as, how she put it, Vick had done a lot for the community and helped folks out. Phooey!!! I hope personally he never is able to return to the Falcons or any other football team. I think whatever he was able to accomplish was blown by the fact that he participated in the killing of dogs. How inhumane is that? I hope PETA gets out and strikes each and every time (if he is rehired by any jackoffs) he is supposed to be playing. Came from the ghetto and I suppose the thug still in him. What a shame. Never made a million in my life and he made mega millions and then threw it all away for ??? I am vexed by her doing such a deed and will send letter stating my feelings.
Talk to DFS, Juvenille Officer involved in the case (sm)
and if the children are appointed a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, also make yourself known to them. When these children are taken in as wards of the court suitable family placement is always looked at. From experience I will tell you there are many, many wonderful foster-adoptive families out there just waiting for these babies.

By the way, if you are awarded custody of this child and the child does have special needs, the state will steer you towards getting assistance in getting what help you need.

It would be lovely if all the children could be kept together and sometimes this is possible. You will find out much more after the initial hearing I suppose.

Good luck to you and the children. Bless their little hearts, they only know mommy is mommy and have no idea of what a good mommy should be. I have seen children who have been physically and verbally abused and neglected by parent who still love and want to be with them. They don't know anything different.

Once again, good luck.
How long is too long to wait for Pap results?
This is a follow up Pap for an abnormal one a few months back.  I have waited for the results for over a month and have called the office once.  Any advised about being a patient patient - LOL.  Its hard when your in this business, I think anyway, not to be more aggressive about stuff like this.
Abusive to women, animals - thank goodness there are no children involved. (sm)
get her out of that situation before any more harm comes about.

Youngest daughter once dated a guy and we discovered she was afraid to not be ready on time, to wear something he didn't like, etc. Soon we found out there were bruises on her upper arms and near her breasts. Needless to say, we marched her to the courthouse, got an ex parte. He broke into our house after that when he thought she was home alone, we pressed charges and had that young man paying court costs for quite some time in addition to going to anger management classes.

We were lucky, we got her out before it was too late. He had her emotionally beat down to the point she couldn't stand up on her own. Heaven help those without a support system.
Sounds good to me. Glad girls are involved in video
xx
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
I know how hard it is......sm
I understand what you're saying. God didn't give us the ability to forget, just the strength to get through it. Have you talked with your husband. Does he seem happy to have this child or has he ever said he was sorry for ever wanting that now that the child is here? Maybe if you could hear him say he was sorry for ever wanting that and couldn't imagine your child not being here, maybe that would help. Seeing true remorse in a person goes a long way in helping you deal with this.
Hard to say
If I had it to do over again, I probably would not have married my husband. He and I are not very well suited to each other at all. But then I wouldn't have my wonderful son, so I can't say I entirely regret it. And after 27 years of marriage, my husband and I finally have a great relationship, with the help of an excellent marriage counselor. What's that saying - I've been happily married for 8 years, but we were married 27 years ago.
I'm sorry - I know it must be hard for you (sm)
I don't have experience with it, but at lesat she is making the decision and you don't have to make it. There are also assisted living facilities that are not so much a nursing home, if you think that would be an option for her. Best wishes to you.
i know it is hard to believe
but I didn't see a pay phone in the dorm. You can get a room phone installed but it is expensive. I guess that is a thought though.

Even if I could contact AIM, I don't think I would. He is 18 and really I can't tell them not to let him use his free account. He's an adult (at least in terms of the law) even if he isn't acting very mature. The way it is now, I can see if he is online and talk to him. If I did something like that he would jsut make up a new screen name that I wouldn't have at all. I just don't think that is a good idea.
This is so hard
Your dog is beautiful. I know how attached you get and how much love these little guys give us.

We just had to go through much the same thing with our 9-year-old lab, Murphy. He got pancreatitis and was very sick, started to get better, but then really took a turn for the worse. He was unable to get up and walk and just cried and cried. After a couple of days, we all decided it was best to have him euthanized. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but none of us could stand to watch him suffer any more. He has had this look in his eyes like he was saying let me go.

Not saying that that is the right decision for you. I think you will know in your heart when it is time. Just try to keep him as comfortable and happy as possible.

My heart goes out to you and Fox.
re: having a hard day/NC MT
It depends on where your degree is from, and where you plan to go to school.  If your college credit is from a community college, it should most certainly transfer. You really have to check with a counselor from the school you wish to attend. Good luck!
I'm so sorry...I know it must be so hard (sm)
at least it has only been 8 months though...so you two have no children together, right? No having to beg for sex when you are a newlywed is not normal. I have a lot of marital issues myself thought not similar...please e-mail me if you want to talk!
7 is a hard age sm
Had a 2nd grader who was after much angst by all, diagnosed as gifted. I was able to put him in private school, quieter, excelled at everything, is now an entrepeneur and doctoral candidate. It was not easy to pay the bills, but worked harder than ever.  The school had me thinking it was my parenting skills, or lack of them, his behavior, his needing more male positive image, etc., etc. If I had istened to them he would have been put in a special class with those with learning difficulties.  All in all, I was crying every day. Took a lot of time and energy. Looking back, his teacher was at fault for mislabeling him and not appreciating his talent. I think he was smarter than she was. We shudder at even the mention of her name. Some don't deserve to be teaching. Don't let her be mislabeled. Thank goodness, I knew someone in the field who tested as I was transcribing his work.  It's a very hard road you have in front of you. Don't be discouraged, please. Good luck with it, it's very difficult. Keep examining the whole picture. God bless you.
So sorry. I know this has to be so hard
but she obviously is in a very loving home. Take a little comfort in knowing that you gave her a wonderful life.
it must be hard
person... i mean if you have only felt the need to apologize one time that must be some sort of record. correct me if i'm wrong, but you were apologizing at that particular time even though you were not at fault?