Simple advise...(sm)
Posted By: Just the big bad on 2008-12-08
In Reply to: Question for athiest - Toni
Review all available material to you and go by what makes sense. I like to read and have recently started a study that will compare religions as well as athieism. As well, I think the huge contributor to all religions and non-religions is the state of being at the times of change. For example, when the Bible was put together, there seemingly were several books left out. Of particular interest to me is the book of Mary. My question there is why was it left out. At that time women did not have the ability to speak their minds as they do now. Is that why it was left out? If so, was there something important in there that all christians should know? If so, where does that leave christians now? Yep...there are tons and tons of questions, and I don't believe you will get all your answers out of just one source.
There are also questions about athieism, like where and how did everything begin? You can find a ton of sources about how things evolved, but not so much on where it began.
Read, look deeper than just the words, and trust your instincts.
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I would advise this -
Do you have some place in town that can handle picture conservation, like a museum, that kind of thing? You might even try calling photo devlopers or photographers to see what they recommend. Sometimes they can work miracles. I had an old picture restored from the 1800s that had a water stain on it. When they had finished I could hardly tell. Yours do sound worse than mine was, however. Good luck to you! :-)
Advise for my dog!
Help! My 11 year lhasa-poo (light of my life of course!) has a torn anterior cruciate ligament of the back leg. He cannot put any weight on it. Surgery which is not that successful on an older dog is $10,000! SO! Anyone have experience or tips about this? I can hardly function for worrying about my Simon! Thanks to all, Ginny
Some advise from one who has been there
In earlier years I thought I could not afford insurance, young like her with 1 child then. Worked at hospital and worked on outside basis for other doctors transcribing. son in accident, needd orthopedic surgery, 2 admits to the hospital. The hospital made deductions, the surgeon did as freebie as I had no money. What would have happened if not working at those 2 places? After then got insurance and had ever since - over 30 years without letting it drop. I learned my lesson and it could have been a very expensive one.
advise
ok, what would you do? Took a MT job outside home, quit home MT job, worked 1 week 1 day, got let go yesterday. Employment agency never told supervisor that I had vacation planned and paid for for 1 week end of February. I told her on Friday and she was furious and said "I never would have gone along with that". Then I was let go, after a full day's work, on Monday. Agency called me 6:00 last night to tell me. They said the reason was "things were not getting fixed that needed to be fixed". Have no idea what they mean. After only 2 days training was put by myself to work. Never, ever told by anyone about quality of my work, I don't think it was ever checked. I now have a closet of new clothes & shoes. I am so angry and my self-esteem is in the toilet. Have been an MT for over 20 years and now my confidence is shattered. What do you guys think I should do? Please help this tired old lady.
Sclerotherapy advise
Anybody ever have treatment for spider veins with sclerotherapy? and what has been your experience.
I am strongly considering it. I have tried the creams and they do not work. I have a big patch on the upper inner part of my thigh. It just looks gross.
I also have broken capillaries on my face. Any suggestions other than laser therapy or even sclerotherapy? I am a bit nervous about doing that to my face. Thanks.
I can't advise but can commiserate
My husband got rear-ended on the job three years ago, is still having pain and numbness in his back and leg. The company he worked for didn't file for Worker's Comp or even fill out an incident report, which we didn't find out until his bills weren't getting paid. We got a lawyer, who is useless. They finally got going on the Worker's Comp but now they've stopped paying again - he's getting his Lyrica through Pfizer's patient care plan because we have no insurance and WC won't pay. Any phone calls get redirected when he calls WC insurance carrier. He's pretty much resigned to living in pain the rest of his life. I don't know how people can cheat and get away with it when he can be legitimately hurt and not get any help at all!
my advise (for whatever its worth)
dont raise him anymore, stop today. if it is something you dont want to do, then dont do it. if he doesnt want to be responsible for the bills, then let bill collectors call, whatever the case may be. find something for yourself. that is what i have had to do. sometimes i forget, but im much much better when i do. i take a walk in the morning all by myself. i rearrange the furniture (okay im weird) lol, he hates that, but i dont care, it makes me happy. we are not here to MAKE SURE they are happy. they can either be happy with the person you are inside or hit the pavement. i know you will make the right choices. also too, i had to stop talking to my family about him because at this point, they hate him, and want me to leave. i am an adult and i have to make my own choice, and i pray it works (and works functionally) for us.
btw, his mother has OCD, she cleaned his whole childhood. she has a hugely dysfunctional relationship with her mother, and did have with her daugher, who is an alcoholic. she is very selfish, and is just generally miserable. she is a christian, but is the kind that has all the right things to say, but doesnt act on any of them. analyzing her helps me to see why my husband is like he is.
BTW, the company I advise you
to avoid is
The Cleaning Authority.
They have a rigid schedule they refuse to deviate from, they mark up your walls with their tools, and they break furniture. They don't know how to properly clean a laminate floor or sinks. You have different workers each time, so tipping well makes no difference in the job they do. Complete waste of money, no matter how many times you meet with the supervisor.
You want advice, not advise
NM
Good advise
No need to tell him too far in advance. Overall he's a good man. I'm not making excuses for him but we do laugh a lot (like every day we are horsing around). We don't really fight all that much. I'd say overall we have a good marriage, but he just gets in these moods sometimes. I often wonder if he's going through mid life crisis but don't know. The issue of him working and where we are going to live is a whole nother story because he could decide on one thing and then the next day its something else. Last weekend he was getting ready to tell me what he wanted to do but before he did he mowed the lawn and when he came back in he had told me he changed his mind. I laughed and said that's why I told him to wait and mow the lawn first before telling me what his thoughts are. HA HA. What really doesn't help matters is all this blasted news about the polygamy people in Texas because my sister is a Mormon. HA HA HA Oh well...like you say, i'll wait. My sister and I were talking bout maybe July. I'll definitely keep you posted as to how it goes.
Anyone gluten-free who could advise me? (sm)
Would love to talk to someone who has gone gluten-free and see what your symptoms were, what you are able to eat, and what your results were. I think this may be my problem. Thanks so much!
thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm
though I am really not sure about the in person thing. I am serious about trying not to be killed in this, he has threatened to kill me before over some really stupid stuff (and we have a lot of guns in this house), and as this is a major thing, and he has been through this with me before....just before we married I was $12K in the hole. I paid it all off though within weeks of the wedding and we were debt-free for about 7 years (except for mortgage). He has told me before if he ever kills me, he will kill himself too....not that this is any solace to me as I really want to live. Generally he is full of hot air, but you never know what will send a person over the edge and I think this debt may be what does it for him. There are a number of extenuating circumstances that caused the debt, it was not me alone of course. He likes to spend as he pleases and I do try to stop him as much as I can but sometimes it is not possible (unless I drop the bomb of course), family illnesses, we did private school for a while too which did not help, and just got a new used car....which we owe his parent $10K for which I am paying them $500 a month for as well which is really putting a crimp on things...but he insisted we had to get rid of my reliable truck for better gas mileage....the new car has needed $800 in repairs so far in 4 months which is just wonderful. When I do drop the bomb, probably in the next month or so, I may try to farm the kids out to friends houses then give him a letter with all the dirty details and the possible solutions. I think having it all down in writing will help some. I know there will be tears on both sides, and my stress level will plummet once it is off my chest. I notice my skin problems act up when we are short on cash, then clear when we get a paycheck. I am sure my BP is jumping about and I cannot lose weight no matter how hard I try too, though I think that is a mechanism to keep him away from me as much as possible. Needless to say it is a total mess.
I don't understand how people can advise
to stay in a marriage when you stated you are not happy, you want out and you do not love him. Why stay in this marriage? You know the answer and you do not need validation or feel bad because you want out. There is nothing worse than having to wake up and go to bed with a person you do not love. Life is to short to stay in a loveless marriage. Be good to yourself and be happy. Why have regrets when you are older.
They usually advise Motrin and Tylenol for pain. sm
I see a lot of this in ER work, and they are never really concerned. Only the pt is concerned and in pain. Take some otc pain meds and it should go away soon.
It's not that simple
Trying to leave an abusive situation on your own can be very dangerous. Some husbands get so angry that their wife DARED to leave them that they track them down and kill them, or forcibly take them back.
I don't know if Tina's situation is that serious, or how her husband would react to her leaving. Tina may not even know for sure. That's why I advised her above to talk to her local battered women's shelter before she does anything. They have experience with these situations, they can help her and her children with a place to stay and help protect them from her husband if necessary.
Yes, she needs to leave. But she needs to be SMART about it. Just picking up and leaving without a plan or without any help is NOT smart.
Not quite that simple
Having your family's name carried out is important to most people. If you posters all think a name doesn't matter, you are sadly mistaken. Names are extremely important in shaping a person's entire life.
Having a niece with the stepfather's name is not nearly as traumatic to a family as having a nephew, the only remaining male relative, take another last name.
As I said in my post, Heartbroken can name her child whatever she wants - I mean that. But, she also needs to accept the fallout for that and accept that her child will be affected by the consequences of her action.
I simply don't understand why people on this board insist on mis-reading and misinterpreting posts to suit their own attitudes. IMO, Heartbroken is an extremely self-centered person who did not consider her family's feelings at all, made a choice and then wondered why they aren't patting her on the back. It's her right to make that choice, but it's the family's right not to agree.
Sure...very simple (sm)
We had shredded sharp cheddar cheese and precooked fajita-style chicken and he broke the chicken into smaller peices and mixed in some buffalo wing sauce, put it all together on tortillas and cooked them on the George Foreman grill for about 5 minutes. You can mix in peppers and onions if you like and eat them with sour cream and salsa :-) Definitely tastes better if your child makes it for you :-)
Right. She's just that simple.
nm
Keep it simple.
I used to find myself into the same situation. Run around doing the cleaning, cooking, etc., and would work myself up into a frenzy to the point I did not really enjoy or remember the day after everyone left on Thanksgiving day. Decided not a single person expected me to do all this and certainly family wanted me to enjoy this day too. The truly gracious have no high expectations other than the coming together and honoring the day. I started to keep it simple. No new recipes from Martha, no chasing that last piece of dust, did make the lists of things to do, asked everyone to contribute to the menu and bring a dish (this creates the best variety too) and now I find I do really enjoy the day and even get excited and look forward to hosting again.
I only wish it was something as simple as that
We don't travel and everyone knows our address. They don't call to talk maybe once a year (and DH's family doesn't even send him a b-day card). I learned to live with that a long time ago even though we always sent them card. Not getting b-day cards from them is one thing, but when my mom died it just hurt a little more. In fact we used to live in Vegas and said numerous numerous times for them to come out and they could stay with us and in the 6 years we were there they never came. It would have been a 5 hour drive for them). We found out after we moved out of vegas to a different state (about a month or two later) all DHs siblings took a trip to Vegas because their cousins daughter (who they never got together with to begin with except once a year around Thanksgiving) graduated high school and the parents were throwing a party for her. So is just a little dissapointing, but have learned to live with it. This year for Xmas I went out and bought cards for them all (hard to change old habits), but I never did send them.
It is very simple and you can do it either way (sm)
You can put the chicken in a dish with teriyaki sauce and cover and bake for probably 45 minutes or so, or you can do it on the stovetop and just add a little water now and then because the sauce will cook out, even covered. Either way, it is just important to make sure it is covered while cooking, that's what makes it good...but it is very simple :)
I think a card or something simple would be
appropriate. It is the thought that counts. I'm not talking a diamond ring or something! He just doesn't make much of any holidays. Yes, my kids are very young so they cannot do much themselves. One time he did take the kids for part of the day and let me relax.
Simple solution
But of course, this what I would do - may not seem acceptable to you.
IF YOU STILL LOVE THIS MAN, you move as close by as possible into another type of home that you can afford to build/buy.
WHO SAYS you have to live under the same roof to be happily married? think outside the box!!
IF YOU FORCE him to move he will be as unhappy as you.
Use that equity you have to save your marriage - I'll bet he'd agree to this.
Then you can be together in TWO houses.
This is just a simple wedding. Nothing more,
X
Sounds simple enough - thanks everybody!
Well, I have a simple solution
My husband and I have been married 8 years now and guess what, never celebrated the first anniversary yet! No kids from this marriage and if we had, could have had 2, 3 or 4 years prior and years later they still would not know.
Have you tried this simple solution? sm
What about a DrinkWell fountain for pets? I have had them for, well, perhaps 15 years now. My cats (two of whom are Maine Coons and LOVE any kind of water source) all love it! It is not just a source of drinking water because they all play in it with their paws, so it has become a source of fun too, which is great because they are wanting to drink at the same time. There is something about the moving water that has always fascinated my cats. Give it a try!
Changeover is just as simple
Cable companies would like us all to believe that antenna TV will no longer work, but it will. You need a decent antenna and the digital conversion box and, voila, free TV.
Testing is simple
Very complicated subject, but if you are working midnights, sleeping days, or even evenings, you probably are not getting enough sun. The only real way to know is to undergo a 25-hydroxy vitamin D test. If you have insurance and your doctor will order the test, then it probably won't cost anything. If you want to know, have no insurance, and can use a lancet to poke your finger you can get an at-home test from the Vitamin D Council or GrassRoots Health and pay about $30 for the test. The provide the test, two lancets, postage and the test is very accurate. The first time I tested I ordered through my doctor's office and because I had no insurance it cost me $300 but I was severely deficient, a 7 on a range of normal from 32 to 100. Now after supplementation, I am 98. Start reading about deficiencies with the Vitamin D Council and go from there.
It was way more than 24 songs, but to keep it simple (sm)
that is all they decided to use in the case. I believe she was downloading the songs to a website where people pay to be a member and then can download songs. I don't think she was just downloading them to listen to at home, but think she was actually conducting a criminal activity, knowingly.
I saw that on Oprah...so simple yet powerful!...
Especially when that married couple were at a stand still and then watched The Secret. Now, they have passion again for each other and are so happy. Something as simple as being grateful for what you have, then better things will come. I want to check that movie out.
plain and simple, lack of God.
x
then just a simple cleaning lady?
OK, I gotcha! I'm thinking about doing this myself...my hubby just got a hefty raise, so hopefully I can afford to pay someone to clean my house now!
I've BTDT and know it's not simple
Even the best DV organization/ shelter can't protect you when you leave them. It is very dangerous.
I just saw trying to leave while he was awake not really trying to leave. I apologize to the OP for not being compassionate.
YES!! Simple! People have to just get on with their life! Unless sm
you are living their life you have NO right to judge them. Amen, sister!! loved your post!!
it's simple Truth. Not complicated at all.
x
I know this is much to simple, but he sounds bored (sm)
I agree with testing for autism, etc.
But bored children, no matter the age, upbringing, or intelligence will act out and 'find' something to do if they're bored.
My daughter was the 'perfect baby' until she turned about 18 months. She started misbehaving, not as bad as yours, but nothing like previously. None of the usual things really occupied her physically or mentally. So I started shopping for day care. Happy girl, believe it or not. The first day I picked her up around 3 p.m. and she told me I came too soon...
She needed the social stimulation, even at that young age. BTW, she is 21 now and still the same. Very outgoing and social, but smart and still a sponge for knowledge. She's in college and when she had winter, spring, and summer breaks, she is so relieved... for about 1 or 2 days. Then she starts counting the day until school starts again.
Anyyow, I digress, but sometimes you just have to listen to your kids and do what's best for them even if it tears you up inside.
In any case, you need some help. You are carrying way too much, but I admire you for your persistence in wanting to do what's best for your kids. Wish you the best :-)
Anyone have a SIMPLE recipe for hamburger BBQ. nm
:
Just Answer The Simple Questions --
1. What treatment did your daughter receive?
2. Will/did she require plastic surgery?
3. You say you filed a police report, what was the police's resolution?
These are very simple questions. Yet, when asked in the posts below, you choose to ignore them. It's what makes people suspect that you are just in it for the money and that no real harm was done.
You first claimed that you just wanted them to pay your daughter's medical bills, that they shouldn't benefit from your insurance that you pay for. Yet, later, you state that the $800 would be for pain and suffering for your daughter (as your insurance has already paid it). Lastly, you state that $87 would be reimbursement for your medical bills and the rest would be pain and suffering for your daughter. Pain and suffering is not something one generally reimburses another for without a court to determine the extent one is due.
The only one suffering here is your conscience! Again, I say, answer the 3 questions above, or are you afraid of what it might reveal?
This is simple.. The election is coming up. sm
They are trying to make things look better than what they are to the average consumer. I will be more than shocked if the gas prices don't immediately start to increase once the election is over. My 2 cents only! :)
Doctors who spell out simple words,
and leave you hang out to dry on the most obscure term or referring physician spelling if it is an odd name. I'll be darn though, they will spell out "the" t-h-e, p-a-t-i-e-n-t, but never the hard stuff... . ????? I wonder why? People using cell phones when they are driving and not paying attention. People that pull out in front of you, and then go 5 mph. I hate it when the grocery bagger puts all the soap products in with my meat or food goods! Great, now the roast smells like Dove Cucumber and Melon bar soap? Hubby is going to think this is delicious!!!!! UUGGHH!
Sounds like you want something small, simple and pretty.
So do just that! Don't worry about the lists. I think the first decision is to decide where you want to have the wedding. Many places often have on-site wedding planners to help you. In fact, from what you wrote, I think you've already got a good start on the planning. You want something simple, you want a pretty dress. Pick a place and maybe hire a caterer to bring in some simple food... maybe just a cocktail hour with hors d'ouerves, and a cake. You don't need formal music or dancing. I had a friend simply have a caterer come in and do a nice bbq for 30 people in their pretty backyard. Flowers were blooming, really no need to decorate, and they programmed an iPod with a wedding playlist, and played it over the stereo. We had a lovely time, and it was very simple and pretty.
As for gifts, my DH and I did exchange gifts. I bought him a watch, which he still wears 22 years later. We went to Cancun for a honeymoon. (It was much quieter in those days.) While there, he found a really pretty string of blue fresh water pearls. So 1985! But I love them and still wear them today!
I'm s simple person. I'd be happy with a house that
x
Miss Kitkat: I don't WANT to do it. Plain and simple.
I don't think you're a woman - sounds like a man's point of view. LOL
Need some adult simple games for Christmas
Played a game called White Elephant before and the group loved. Want something really simple to entertain my lovely guests for that day. We are all over the 50 year range so nothing too involved, heck we could not remember! Thanks!
Simple answer "they" are NOT "nurses" sm
When anyone in my family refers to the "nurse" at the doctor's office, I have a fit. They're not "nurses" and never will be.
Sadly, it seems that simple kind gestures in life
are no longer taken for that - they are either considered some evil, twisted, perverted gesture or go unnoticed because of the society we have become.
So little is done face-to-face anymore with all the modern technology we now have - and, as great as it can be, a lot has been lost along the way. I can't keep thinking had we not progressed so rapidly and so far would common courtesy of others be so far removed from us as it is now....
NOW - if you sent an email card I bet you'd get a response! LOL (my cynical sense of humor!)
Bless you - I would love to get a card like that from a neighbor who was being complementary! Dn't stop - someone, somewhere will figure it out and say "thank you" or "how are you doing today" - all the good guys can't be gone or in hiding!
sounds immature and simple minded; treat him as such.
nm
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Looking for simple game ideas for first grade Christmas party. nm
I asked a very simple gift for Mother's Day, should have saved my breath
I was going to visit my aunt out of town this weekend and my daughter wanted to go with me. The only thing I asked for Mother's Day was that my daughter behave (she is in her 30s understand) but what I meant was getting along, if I should say anything she might not like to smile and say yes. I just wanted a little peace and quiet but I wasted my breath. She said she felt like she always had to walk on eggshells around me. I told her she does not know me at all, never has and I don’t think she cares about me at all. I have been asked loads of time if she is an only child. She is not but that should tell you what others think, just a me type person. I paid for everything, the gas, the motel, the food, everything and thought I could ask for something that she would not have to spend money on. I am thinking seriously about throwing in the towel on her, just giving up. I am too old to fool with her me type stuff any longer, I really have been thinking about doing just that. A simple request, not 1 that I could not pull off if my mother had asked me to do. The last thing before we got home, I wanted to stop at 1 of my favorite pizza places, get a pizza, we could have called before getting home, could have been ready (left out earlier coming home) and she just wanted to grab something quick, so we got a hamburger. I really do not like her and I am sad because I would like to. It has been impossible for me to really love her like I should.
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