Sick of the stereotyping... Not bashing just venting a little
Posted By: PROUD MOTHER on 2007-12-20
In Reply to: Aww...story about the skateboarders that rescued abandoned baby (sm) - NCMT
I am the VERY PROUD mother of a well rounded well behaved 16 yo daughter. She doesnt make all A's but she does well. She has more worked more community service hours in the last year (as well as the past five) than any one we know of. BUT she is given hades by teachers, parents, and just about anyone who does not know her because they can tell just by looking at her that she is TROUBLE. The judge her because she wears gauges (ears only) likes baggy jeans (always wears a belt) and band T-shirts (usually black) and big hoodies or jackets- very similar to the boys in the pic. People are SOOO JUDGEMENTAL her friends have to sneak to be around her because their parents think she is a bad influence yeah my non-drinking non smoking baby girl who was home on prom night by 1030 because the "other kids were getting crazy".
Please before you judge kids think about how you would want others to treat your child. To quote my daughter " I am an individual! Not some mindless twit that just follows to belong!". So just try and remember how you would like your child/teen to be treated before you judge/react to someelses child.
Take care and have a MERRY X-MAS and dont forget to hug your teen.
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Everyone's over there bashing people
that are over here. Talking about being banned for just *tellin' it like it is*. Yeah, not to mention posting abusive rude comments continually...like they wouldn't have been banned with the previous owner. Ugh. Hopefully the rude ones will go over there..though I doubt it because you really have to register to get on that one now. The rude anonymousness is kind of gone.
I'm not bashing that - simply asking sm
if it were your biological child doing the bad things, would you have the same response? Hypothetically, if your daughter was selling drugs or making good money without being generous, would you still be having the dilemma about giving gifts? I am not implying that your daughter is a bad person, just that if the shoe were on the other foot, would it be handled the same way.
No bashing from me....good work. :)
NM
let the bashing begin I guess..... -sm
You are the one who brought up hair....."Would you want someone to force you to be throwing up every half hour and lose your hair???".....direct quote. You presumption is plain ridiculous. I could give a dammmmnnnnn about her hair. Yes it is nice it came back as good as it did, and I have talked to plenty of mom's at the clinic as that is one of their concerns as well, dummbb thing to worry about, but probably more of a defense/denial mechanism I think for all of us who have had kids in this situation, and it is hard for any child to deal with, believe me whe was very self-conscious at times about it. But as I said if her losing her hair was the worst thing to happen I could care less, I was being realistic. Yes, I feel bad for the lady below, not all children live no matter what type of treatment is used, it is a fact of life. I just believe you have a better chance with proven clinical protocols, not natural remedies. I am sure had I refused the chemo all helllll would have broken loose too, but I knew from my work it was a tried and true method and trusted her doctors. A lot depends on the type of cancer and the stage. My daughter is one of the lucky ones, it was caught early and was favorable (another week or two and it would probably been a very different outcome as she had a very aggressive fast growing tumor) and I am thankful for that but also have compassion and feelings for those whose children don't make it. The first thing they gave me when she was diagnosed was this book on childhood cancers, you want to cry your eyes out, read that, it is not all about happy endings. Between my two kids I been in and out of hospitals since 2000, I have seen a lot of good and bad in those years. I volunteer with the local organization at the hospital as much as I can, donate/raise funs for it and Make-A-Wish too. I have been around enough cancer for ten lifetimes between 4 family members and my own child. Chemo helped all but one who had lung cancer and refused to quit smoking after her diagnosis. My dad and FIL are both cancer-free now, one is 9 years out, the other 4-years out now. My SIL's mom came back from pancreatic cancer and has been cancer-free now for 3 yaers, they all told her she was a goner, chemo saved her life. It is a miracle she is even alive. My great-aunt with the lung cancer died the night she was given the results of her evaluation after her chemo was completed, which obviosly did not work for her. I have another friend with inoperable lung cancer, just had radiation and now going into chemo. He has a very good prognosis by some miracle. He still has not stopped smoking but 1 cig a day compared to the 4 packs a day is a pretty good improvement. He is trying to quit that and I am sure soon will. I doubt he will be "cured" but at least he may get a few more years to live. Not all of us are ready to give up at 13. I know chemo works, again more than it fails. Some natural approachs may "work" for a time but they do not cure either and there is nothing to back them up. If the kid was 16, 17 or 18 and chose not to do chemo that is his preogative I would say, but at 13 a child, especially a boy, cannot comprehend the chance he is taking, and undoubtly will die. Yes a miracle could happen, but again that is why they are called miracles, they don't happen very often. ---I have said all I will say on this, bash away, stick a fork in me as I am done.
Aw, c'mon! We're all having fun bashing rug-rats!
Sick of snow...sick of cold...sm
that lil ground rat just HAD to see his shadow, didn't he! aaarrrggghhh.
Venting sm
I just need to vent a little here.
I drive an Explorer that's pretty much on its last leg (9 years old). We're waiting until next year to get me a new vehicle. My husband, on the other hand, drives the newer Taurus (only 2 years old).
I drive my 7-year-old daughter to and from school every day and also to jump rope class, etc.
We plan to get the Explorer fixed next month. In the meantime, I have asked my husband if I can drive his car (the newer one) on a couple of occasions, but he basically ignoerd me and I always ended up driving the Explorer. Well, yesterday I told him I need to drive his car until the Explorer is fixed. If I didn't have my 7-year-old with me, I probably would continue driving the Explorer.
He finally left his car for me to drive today, but he is so upset about it. I don't understand it. Shouldn't he want his wife and child to be in the safer, more reliable vehicle?
I don't think I should have to beg him to drive his car, especially since I'm driving our 7-year-old all around the city. I also don't understand why he is upset.
Somebody help!
venting about son
I am so sorry about your son. I know how you feel - I have been there too. My son is now 31, has schizophrenia, lives with us at the current time. We started with the problems in about 4th grade and went through counselors, doctors, hospitals, etc. forever. I know how hard it is to make the decision to place your child somewhere. Absolutely no one can tell you when the right time is. My son has been in the hospital several times, some short term stays and some long term stays. The longest time was when he was 15-16. Eleven months in Topeka, KS at Menninger Children's Psychiatric Hospital. We live in IL, so it was quite a trip. He did well there, but relapsed immediately upon discharge. Most of these kids with severe problems do need 24/7 maintenance to stay on track. It will get to the impossible stage for you both emotionally and financially, as well as physically. There are good group homes and there are bad group homes. If you go that route, check them out thoroughly. My prayers are for you and your little boy. Children like this will always be "our little boy/girl" to us. God's Blessings to you today and everday. Email me if you need to vent or just want more information. I have taught a class for NAMI and would be glad to listen.
venting...
I am not in the exact boat you are in. My child is 9. But my husband is as messy as a child. LOL!
If I had a 26-year-old daughter a home she would have to help out. I mean she has a free place to live so why shouldn't she help? I would tell her certain things she has to do. Like cook a few nights a week. Help clean even if it is on weekends when she is off. She needs to help you. As for your husband ask him to help you our with cooking sometimes and just pick up after himself.
venting to
Probably the next time your husband complains about not being able to find a job, he should not say anything in front of your son.
It would seem that your son perceives he was raised in a way that was unsympathetic, and so he is not feeling much sympathy for you either.
I am not sure if that requires an apology, but you can always request that a kid shut up and keep their opinions to themselves.
Venting update sm
Thanks for all the support and input.
I'm happy to say my husband is no longer upset about us switching cars. In fact, he told me I can drive his car as long as I want. I don't think he realized how unsafe it was for me to drive the Explorer.
He's really a good husband/father, but we just had a problem with this car issue.
Thanks again! I love this board!
My mom and the kids- venting! (sm)
My mom came to visit and watch my kids while I work - I am paying her because she needs the money. My children are a 10 year old boy and a 7 ytear old girl. They are generally well-behaved, never get in trouble at school, get in trouble sometimes at home for the usual kid stuff, but they are basically nice children. My mom has a tendency to joke and play around with them a lot, but then gets offended when they try to play back. Yesterday they were feeling comfortable with her (only see her a couple of times a year) and they both dressed up in "spy" costumes and came out to spy on her. When she "caught" them, they pretended to do karate chops and kicks - which they do with me regularly, very softly, never to inflict pain. They did this to her and she is very angry, saying that my children "hit and kicked" her and that if they are bad again she is going to spank them. Also, she has varicose veins on her legs and my daughter asked her what are those "cracks" in your legs? So she is offended about that and therefore when my chubby son walked in without his shirt on this morning she asked, "what's wrong with your belly or is that just fat?" She has also been arguing with my son trying to convince him that there are ghosts and demons on earth (even though I asked her to stop) and when he said there were not, she got out the Bible and was trying to show him passages to prove it until I came out and made her stop. Is everyone's mom like this?? Do they just forget that children are young and don't think like adults??
venting and angry
My daughter had this same problem 2 years ago. I finally called the doctor, and the nurse asked me if we have animals. I told her that we did, and she said that they need to be treated as well. So, along with treating my daughter, bagging all her stuffed toys, vacuuming and steaming everything else she had been in contact with I bathed the cats in a shampoo for animals that helps treat lice. We didn't have problems with them again. Maybe you should find out if this child's family has pets, and if so, make a suggestion that they treat them as well. I know this is a frustrating and expensive problem, but as was stated earlier, I think educating the child's mother is the Christ-like thing to do. If she gets angry about your help/suggestions, then you know that you did your part. Hang in there!!
Just venting somewhat about depressed parents sm
I feel the need to vent a little about my parents. I talk sometimes with my hubby but he doesn't give much input. I'm close with my parents (I'm 36 they are in their mid 50s). My dad has always been controlling and negative (causing stress on our family). I'm an only child. I'm not going to go into deep details about stuff. My parents are not financially stable. My mom is a hard worker, always has been. My dad hasn't worked for almost 9 years. He rehabs houses when he has one to rehab. They are down in the dumps I think because of money. My mom gets stressed out with her job and then not having financial help from my dad, that stresses her. My dad is a negative person. He lost his mom when he was in his 20s and I'm not sure if he believes in God. He doesn't have faith at all. He gets jealous when my kids stay the night with my in-laws (my parents like my in-laws). There's no talking with my dad. The one time I tried to talk to him about something he said to me that hurt my feelings (I was 30), he didn't talk to me for a whole week. Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy. My hubby and I are fine financially, with our faith. I wish I could sit them down and talk with them, but there would be nothing but negative talk coming from them. I know that really you can't help someone unless they are ready to help themselves. It's really hard to say exactly what I feel. I love my parents, I want them to be happy, but then I feel like YOU are the only one who can change your life, or what makes you happy. I don't want disconnect from my parents (they live a mile from us). If my dad would just go get a job, I believe he'd feel so much better about himself. Anyway, I'm really sorry for rambling on like this. I just don't have anyone to talk to. I sometimes feel responsible for my parent's happiness/unhappiness. But growing up, I could never do anything right to please my dad, so I guess that's why I feel that way. There's so much I could type about, but not going to. There have been numerous times I thought to myself that I wish my mom would've never married my dad. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Every year same old, same old at tax time Venting-
My husband and I never fight ----- until April. Then it's constant for about 2 weeks. 
My hubby is self-employed. We've had a couple of rough years and for the past 2 years were unable to pay quarterly taxes. When tax time rolls around, bang! We're fighting like cats and dogs! He complains about how much he has to pay in every year I really don't blame him, as it seems like in his line of work, a lot of deductions are not allowed and it sucks.
In reality, we gotta get on top of the quarterlies again. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. He said he didn't make any money last year, but we still have to pay in over $8000 to the IRS. I really don't know how this could be either. Then he threatens to sell his equipment. Now for the next 3 months, all I'll hear is the complaining (putting it nicely).
It upsets me when we fight, but I'm tired of hearing it all the time. I wasn't even going to tell him how much we owed but I didn't know where to get the money to quietly pay off the IRS.
Anybody want a wonderful husband for the next month or so? Just until he gets over it, then I want him back. (only kidding---he's a real keeper ).
Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how to get around this crappy tax thing, please let me know.
Since when is venting spiteful and immature?
You obviously have some bitter feelings on this topic. I suppose you were in a stepfamily that was all love n' peace?
Hope venting made you feel better...
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can be tough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I'm a sole income earner so can empathize. As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/manager's job to handle. Hopefully s/he will take care of this. Good luck.
You are sick
You need a therapist. You told another poster that you have a relative coming to visit - so, this relative can't go to dinner with you and your friend?
It's extremely obvious to any thinking person that you don't have many friends. Your arrogance and self-absorption come through in your every word. It would be interesting to get your friend's point of view on this. I'd bet my first born that this is NOT the first time you've done this, despite what you said to the poster above.
Right back at you - glad I don't know you either. I run in higher class circles.
I am sick about it
Did you see on the news the senator (I believe), an elderly gentlaman who was so furious about this. He said that the hottest places in h____ are for those who abuse God's innocent creatures. Good for him. I am waiting for the day when all of these offenses against animals are considered a felony.
sick with the flu right now
ahhhhhhhrrrrrrrgggggggg
when i am sick,
i keep on working and just try to take care of myself. my husband was sick during his vacation and never stopped complaining about how tired he was, how terrible he felt, blah, blah, blah. it drove me nuts! he never offered any sympathy when i was ill AND working! (pardon my whining)
Am I sick or what?
I am typing a lady with appendicitis. Am I sick to think, "She's so lucky. She got out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner."
How sick is that!!!
..
What a sick SOB....sm
Animal abuse REALLY fires me up. I am a true animal lover, especially dogs. I think they should break both of his front legs and he should not be given anything for pain either. They should let him sit there a couple days too before taking him to the hospital to have surgery to repair them. And while he is sitting there with two broke legs he should have to fend for himself. No tolerance at all when it comes to animal abuse. They wouldn't want me to be the judge in this case.
We were really sick here in TN...
for 2 weeks straight with a bad cold - horible cough, congestion, high fever, sore throat, body aches. We were tested for flu and strep, both of which were negative. Maybe could have been mono? Anyway, I don't think I've ever been that sick in my life.
So you would rather be sick than preggers ...
Ya, me too.
:op
Emergency sick day!
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS just arrived by UPS!
How am I going to work now???
(kidding of course)
That makes me sick.
nm
People are sick!!
What is wrong with people? How could anyone do harm to their kids? Just last night a lady here in SC stomped on her 6 m/o baby and then choked her to death. She is an 18 y/o mother and also has a 4 y/o son, who is now in protective custody. These people need to find Jesus!!
you wouldn't think it was so sick if you had GID
x
People are going to get sick of me but... sm
The real tragedy is that some gays and lesbians will NEVER be able to have a fufilling life or relationship because they are too afraid to be themselves.
As I said earlier, I have many friends who are either gay or lesbian. I have also lost friends to suicide because they were too ashamed to come out or their families just simply could not accept who they really were.
A girl I worked with many years ago, whom I also considered a good friend, ended her life because her family would just never accept her for who she was.
Her family was Hispanic and very very traditional. This business was just not going to fly with them.
Gloria didn't see any other way and she took her own life. It was horrible.
I never ever want to even think I might be responsible for something like that because one of my children or friends was too afraid to be open and honest with me about their preferences.
Thank you - I appreciate it - yes, he's rarely sick (sm)
and if he gets even a cold he goes to the doctor and takes a day off from work and lays in bed all day. I wish I could have health that good!
I am so sick of hearing about
I have heard enough!
 Apparently she still has all of her female parts, except breasts...she gave birth vaginally...so it's NOT A MAN...IT'S A WOMAN. I certainly hope that losing one's breasts does not disqualify us from being a woman. This poor child is going to be so confused when she learns the circumstances of her birth. Not to mention that the other woman is breast feeding her...I feel for the innocent baby who is going to be the one to pay for her parents stupidity!
sick to my stomach
Hopefully when he dies, he will have to live among cats who kick him for an eternity.
I am so sick about the the economy
All those people on TV are talking about a 400.00 or more increse in their mortgages. They spent over 600.00 a month on extras. This was on Operah. I can't believe that these people don't have a clue.
Between the 400.00 and the 600.00 on extras...that is what I get in one month.
I have cut back as much as I thin is possible and it is still difficult to make ends meet. I even have went so far as to unplup everything that I am not using.
How do you cope?
I have always been a little sick of having get everyone a present
It's ridiculous. It's Jesus' birthday, not everyone elses. I would be very happy if I could get away with only buying for my own children for Christmas morning from "santa," and I wouldn't care if nobody got me anything or anybody else got anything for my kids.
It is just so stinking ridiculous to have to buy for my mom, my sister and her spouse, my sister-in-law and her spouse, my brother-inlaw and his spouse, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, two aunts and uncles, three nephews, three neices, and two cousins.
I am just so sick of the money that is spent for all this cr@p. And it is cr@p. Last year one of my daughters got a piano book from her aunt, and she doesn't even freakin take piano lessons. Might as well just flush your money down the toilet.
You could have been sick or dead
in your room for all they knew. wonder what they would have told investigators? The next time they make plans, don't go, tell em you got a ham operator to send out a morse code message, didn't they get it?
sick pets
I get my critters from the shelter also and have brought home sick animals before. I would just take him to vet tomorrow. PLEASE AVOID Banfield at PetSmart. Usually vets offices have a few morning hours on Saturday. Take him tomorrow.
It really makes me sick
that psychiatrists these days are so quick to say "just cut ties and get on!"
Have you tried couples counseling like suggested above? Or talking? Maybe speaking with a pastor? Is your husband expecting this or is it going to be a big surprise?
Don't just give up on your marriage. Just because it's not the fairy tale every little girl dreams of doesn't mean that it can't work out and become amazing. But it takes work. Lots of it. There is no such thing as an easy marriage.
Take care, and please, don't just go off of what your psych says!
My new puppy is sick!!!
Okay, everybody, my new puppy that I love so much already has parvo and is in the hospital. She went in yesterday morning. So far, so good. No vomiting and no diarrhea for 41 hours, but they are not wanting me to bring her home.
Can someone tell me if she is not vomiting and has no diarrhea and she is eating, what are they doing for her that I cannot do here at home? I would rather her be here so that I can watch her. If she got sick again, the vet's office is only 1/2 mile from my house - couldn't I run her back real quick (it is a 24-hour manned hospital)?
Anyway, everybody do what you do - say a prayer, send good vibes our way, whatever your choice is! Just wish us back to good health!
sick of that crap!!!
Kids aren't safe anywhere.....Just this weekend in sunny Atlanta we have an grandfather kill his 6yo grandson and wife over a watermelon and a guy with a shotgun go in his backyard and threaten to blow his brains out!!! There are tons more other stories about people getting shot and everything here, it is common.... My husband uses guns to hunt and that is what they should be used for.... THE SHOOTING NEEDS TO STOP!!!! I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE GETTING SHOT or THREATENING TO SHOOT PEOPLE!!!
that's kind of sick. For some men it is
much more fun when it is forbidden or has to be done in a hidden way. That's also the reason for having affairs behind the wife's back.
Heard that also. I didn't even know he was sick.
NM
Too weird, too sick. Nuff said (nm)
nm
To the person with the sick puppy
Immediately check out this list. The brands you have been giving the puppy are on this list. Thousands of dogs and cats have died from renal failure.
If you go outside in the cold with a wet head you'd get sick...sm
the principal at my daughter's school thought that was still true until I showed him studies that showed it doesn't make you sick, it only gives you a cold head. I wouldn't let a child go outside if it's below 20 with a wet head but I do have a child that hates blow drying her hair and doesn't mind a cold head, so I leave it up to her when it's above 20 outside and she gets a shower before school.
Wonderful news about my sick cat
I posted on here about thinking my older girl had a stroke. She had lost her hearing and her vision and stumbling around, rambling through the house. Not once did I give up on her. I stroked her and told her I loved her- took her to the veterinarian and told him I thought stroke. He gave her injection of penicillin and steroid and said sometimes animals pull through with that. Now I wonder if perhaps she could have had a blue tailed lizard for lunch as found out highly poisonous for kittycats. Also read inner ear problem could cause same symptoms. Let me say this, Monday when I took her to the veterinarian really not sure which way she would go, thought could wake up the next day and her not be with me anymore. I did NOT give up and now she is hearing me- ran from the vacuum this morning and coming straight to me- her eyes are not blank anymore and she is seeming to track better. There is always hope where there is life.
I know - sick sense of humor but...
Movie I laughed out loud to most recently was Hostel. Way creepy movie/plot but still just couldn't stop myself when that girl's eyeball was bouncing off her cheek.
Definitely - Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Road to Wellsville, O Brother, Shrek
Are you a Christian? If so, you should be ashamed of yourself. I am so sick of sm
women, especially women, who degrade other women, especially when they are a Christian. I swear, if it weren't for my strong relationship with Christ who draws me to Him every single day, I would hate everything Christian because of those who judge and throw stones and think they are so much better than everyone else. Let me tell you - I am a Christian. The only different between me and the atheist (I used to be one) is that by the Grace of God I am saved now. That is it. I am no better, not one bit, than anyone else. You will never win anyone over with statements like the one you just made.
This post just makes me so sick nm
x
I'm sick & husband is being mean...just so tired of it
 I am sick with a bad cold or maybe the flu, not sure, so I know I am more emotional because of that...but my husband made breakfast this morning, waffles, and called the kids, then after they started eating said, "oh, do you want to come eat?" So I went in the kitchen, and he had melted butter for the waffles, but he had left the paper wrapper in the bowl of melted butter. Without thinking I just took it out and put it on a napkin to throw away, the tablecloth is plastic and it was on a napkin so it is not like it was going to hurt anything. He started fussing, "why did you have to take that out?" I said I didn't know, didn't really think about it. "Well I was going to take it out after we were finished eating, I didn't want a greasy spot all over the table." I said, " I put it on a napkin, there is no grease on the table so don't worry yourself over it." So then he said, "well why couldn't you just leave it in there? I was going to take it out later." I said, "it just looked kind of gross sitting in there, I'm sorry I took it out." Then I went to get a fork and noticed the bowl he had used to mix the pancakes was sitting on the counter - he had used all the mix in the bowl, just still had some left on the edges, so again, without thinking (I'm a mom and a wife, it's just second nature to me), I took the bowl and put it in the sink and filled it with water. He yelled at me, "why did you do that?" I said, "I am just soaking it so it will be easier to clean." "Well, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH IT!!" So I said, "Nevermind, I don't want to eat." I put my plate on the counter and left the room and started crying...I guess because I am sick I just can't take things as easily. So I was in the next room crying and he says, "why do you have to make such a big deal about everything?" and I said, "why do you have to be mean all the time - you don't have to talk to me like that, it is unacceptable for you to talk to me like that." So now he is mad because in front of the kids, I told him the way he talked to me was unacceptable. But I don't want them to see him act like that and think it is alright, so I am going to continue to say it is wrong. I dont want my daughter to think it is ok for her to be talked to that way or for my son to think he should talk to women like that. My husband's father has always talked to his mother that way and still does. They just had their 50th Anniversary, so he thinks it is ok...it is NOT ok. I am not going to just sit back and smile about it like she does. And that makes him soooo angry!
He had rented a room for us for New Year's Eve - but he has been so mean lately I don't want to go. It was expensive and is nonrefundable. I don't see the point of going there trying to act like we are so in love when we are not, so now I told him I am not going to go. Why torture myself being locked in a room with him for all that time??
He is the same one I wrote about a while back who scraped up my good cake pan and who thinks he may be an alcoholic. This past Friday, he took the day off from work, went hunting all day, was supposed to be back about 7...called me at 9:15 and said he drank too much and was not driving home. I was glad he wasn't going to drive drunk of course, but why does he have to keep going out getting drunk? He goes on several day-long hunting trips and can't call, sometimes he says because of no cell phone service and sometimes he says because he was so drunk he couldn't see to dial the number.
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