She told her lawyer...sm
Posted By: curious girl on 2008-06-21
In Reply to: Keep in mind I have zero experience with this, but...sm - Moo
That he wouldn't get out because he said he didn't have to until the divorce was final and she can't make him leave until then which is next week. The lawyer can and will make him get out. Her lawyer is very crude and ruthless. She hates to go through all of that though. She wants him to peacefully leave. When the divorce is final she could call the sheriff's dept. and they could make him leave but she really said this would hurt her so to have to do that. It is hard enough without all that.
Mama has told him go live with the other woman. I don't think the other woman wants him there. See she is just using him because daddy has it bad for her and she uses it to her advantage to get anything she wants from him. To tell you the extent, he had around $70,000 cash in the bank less than a year ago and it is gone. My mama has seen the other woman's mame signed where she goes to his bank and everything and is allowed to get cash out. So she is just using my daddy for money and he knows this but he has it so bad for her he lets her do it. He is now broke and has no more money or not much anyway. This woman has broke him but it is his own fault for letting her. He should be smarter than that. She doesn't want him living with her I don't think or he would. I don't know. But my mom says if you hadn't gave her all your money you would have money to find a place to live. She says not her problem. Which is true.
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What's your lawyer doing
If you're separated, why aren't you and the kids in the family residence, or why isn't your ex forking over child support and alimony so you can afford your own place?
Check with welfare, Medicaid and children's services in your town to see what programs you're eligible for.
If its untenable to reside with your parents, go to a shelter until you resolve the money issues and then get your own place.
Save yourself. Light a fire under that lawyer and be more pro-active. Take charge, it you can't do it for yourself, find the strength to do it for your kid's future.
Might need to consider another lawyer
My BIL turned down for disability before, got another lawyer and it made all the difference in the world and he got his disability after being turned down before a judge. Is this lawyer strictly in the disability field or could you perhaps get a second opinion. It would not hurt to try.
I'm not a lawyer yet but...
If that bill really was first incurred in 1987 (!!!!!) there is no way on earth that it should be collectable from ANYBODY, let alone the minor child at the time!
That said, most states have a statute of limitations. Most states (you never said which state you're in, so I can't look up that state's regulations) start counting a statute of limitations from when the most recent payment was made on the account. So if your parents stopped making payments on the bill in 1999, then in a state with a 6-year statute of limitations (SOL), then legally the hospital or any secondary debt collectors cannot take legal action to collect the debt after 2005.
Now....
Not being able to take legal action to collect the debt does NOT mean that they can't try to weasel it out of you through guilt or intimidation. But they don't have a legal leg to stand on to enforce anything once the SOL has run out.
So...
They never should have gone after YOU no matter what.
And they never should have even had it in their records from 6 years after your parents last made a payment on it.
Like somebody else said - tell them to pound sand! LOL!
The lawyer and the money
Well, it seems kinda funny that shortly after her court case was settled her son died. Then, she had the committment ceremony with the sleazy lawyer. Now, a few months later she dies? Wonder who her beneficiary is. It could shed some light on the events surrounding her and her son's deaths. I wouldn't say it's all about the money, but it does seem suspicious. I still wouldn't be surprised if it winds up just being a drug overdose though.
Doctor says to lawyer
We were born on the same year, month, day, and minute. We were born in the same hospital, hospital room and we have the same 2 parents. We are not twins and we have no brothers. Explain this.
Which one? The lawyer or radio DJ..nm
x
I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
Talk to a lawyer first - sm
I had the exact situation listed here above, house in DH name, family 4 hours away, no money, etc. In my state, VA, it is a equiable distribution state, meaning they divide it fairly, it is not an automatic 50/50 they take in each persons contributions, etc. So in my case the house would have been 40% mine as he put down the 20% on the house from the sale of his house. Our debt would have probably held where it was about 55% mine versus 45% his, or actually I might have ended up with more as my name was listed as a user on one of his accounts and I did deceive him. In my case, I was hoping he would leave, go live with his brother in MD or rent the apt. next door (neighbor has a vacant apt. over garage, tenant just died), but he would not have done it willingly. Even now after we have worked through everything, he said the other day if I screwed it up again he was taking the kids to his parents, leaving me, and would burn the house down so I got nothing. Sweet. (then again he'd be in jail and I would have the kids and the insurance money if there was any--doubtful since it would be arson). Like I said it has not been all roses but it is going well for the most part. In my case I am glad it was not the end of my marriage though I thought it would be; I talked to a lawyer in anticipation , $160 for 45 mintues, but well worth it.
Yes, get a divorce lawyer - sm
I talked to one before I confessed to my DH about the debt he knew nothing about ($88K) figuring my marriage would be over. In the event of a divorce I would have walked away with no debt, no home, but enough leftover to either buy a house with a good downpayment, or rent and be able to afford it for quite a while. I know my DH would have tried to get the kids too but I don't think he would have "won" despite my deception about the debt. I do everything for my kids, he does nothing except make dinner a couple times a week and takes them to the movies or skating every 3-4 weeks, that is it. I never got so low as to open cards in his name, and I am thankful I never sunk to that level though it did cross my mind once or twice I knew it was horribly wrong. I suspect he just filled out them in your name, maybe even on line, and then transfered his debt to yours, possibly putting himself as a user on the account, but even w/o doing that he could still transfer his debt to "your card", I know, I would transfer debt off my husband's cards onto mine so his credit would stay pristine, and so he would not find out. I would inform the companies that you did not open the accounts, have a fraud investigation started. As for telling him about the debt, since you are already heading for divorce, I would not tell him a thing, let the lawyers figure it out. They will do a list of assets and debts and figure it all out in the settlement. He can find out then. Run a credit report on yourself and find out how many cards he opened up in your name, and call each one, or better yet talk to a lawyer first and see what they have to say on the matter. I know my mess was/is bad but very thankful my DH ended up to be forgiving enough or just too lazy to go thru another divorce (I am his 2nd wife), and/or did not want to put the kids thru that. But the sooner you get the ball rolling and start taking care of things the better you will feel, I know, I feel so much better now. You kids will be happier too. Do not stay for the kids or keeping a stable home, etc. If you are miserable, then they are too and it is a horrible example for them. In my case a miracle happened and things are better than they have been in a long time, but it sounds like your case is terminal. I wish you the best of luck.
She needs to talk to a lawyer before doing - sm
anything. Before I confessed to my DH about our debt back in Oct./Nov., cannot even remember when now, I talked to a lawyer as I wanted to know what my rights were and where I would stand in the event of a divorce. She was quite clear about not taking the kids out of the state. Once your friend has a custody agreement in place then maybe, obviously the lawyer and courthouse clerk could best advise her on that, but there are a lot of things that need to be done prior to that or he can call the cops, etc. He sounds like a primo A-hole. She needs to move fast before they lose their house though.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
You can probably make-up a date to see a lawyer
because marriage is based on truth. Just tell him you are done! End of story. If he catches you in a lie, that could spell trouble. JMO. 
Time for a call to a lawyer.
x
Take this to a lawyer. Fight for him. This cannot be legal.
asf
I did talk to a lawyer too before I dropped - sm
the bomb on my DH as I wanted to know where I stood. I live in a state where they do an equitable disbursement of the marital goods, assets, etc. I would have a 40% stake in the house, entitled to about $100K in his 401K (1/2 of its growth since we married), 1/2 of assets we purchased together. Though a judge would deem what it fair, either way I would walk away debt-free though I would not have a home if we sold everything. He told me in one of his pissy moments that if we lose the house (which there is no danger of) he is moving in with his parents with the kids and I am on my own. What he does not realize that no judge would give him custody (has depression , threatened suicide, etc) and the kids would want to be with me. He has a temper too that gets the better of him too much and he is an alcoholic as well. So if a judge gave him custody I would be totally shocked. I am relatively healthy though overweight by 70 pounds, drink a glass of wine 5 days a week maybe (that is it--he drinks 9-12 beers a day --every day--- though he has cut down to 9 since the 13th for which I am happy for though I'd rather he quit altogether---But good thing to find out where you would stand in a divorce and what you would need to do in terms of custody if push came to shove.
probably call a lawyer dont you think?
Maybe she could see a counselor herself and see if they could help her to make the decision or at least scoot her in the right direction about what she needs to do or who to talk to.
That's too bad of a situation... wish her the best
Go talk to a lawyer pronto - sm
I did this before I confessed to my DH about our debt issues back in October as our house is in his name only as is the mortgage, and wanted to know where I stood with my "share" of our assets. If it was bought after you married, as ours was, then it is maritial property. The division is not 50/50 unless you both contributed equally to the downpayment, in my case he used the money from the sale of our (his) former house that he had before we married. So my share would be something like 40%. Our two cars are in both our names, except our boat and utility trailer, those are his which is just fine with me. I also have no money, but he (we) has a very nice 401K (still by some miracle), of which I would be entitled 50% of the earnings in the time period of our marriage. But basically regardless of whose name is on what it is maritial property as long as you lived in it together and you contributed to the household in some way whether it is paying all the bills, or some, or staying home to take care of the kids, it is a contribution. They figure out all the percentages, etc. I would not leave the home though, he will say you left the marriage, etc. Call around, see if you can get a free consult or a discounted consult. I think I paid $160 for my 45 minute phone call but I felt much better for doing so. Luckily I did not end up needing the lawyer, but I was ready to do so if necessary. Good Luck.
,,,use your support system, and find a lawyer who
s
I'd tell him to save HIS money for a divorce lawyer sm
He seems kind of rude to me. No way my hubby would dictate to me like that. He knows I would show him the door
Machine of my choice - divorce lawyer
I couldn't live like that. Besides the awful stench and the health hazards, I wouldn't stand for his lack of respect for me.
Call lawyer! Nobody here is atty. Consultation will
x
Good point, I will be contacting a lawyer - sm
to get their input, though I wil probably do the filing solo so I save money, only about $300 if I do it myself. Just need to get info and follow the rules.
Oh sorry. I thought he was a lawyer and the other two guys' father was judge. sm
My bad, but either way daddy can get him out of it.
Good luck but I doubt you will find a lawyer sm
First of all, I am glad that your sister knows the truth and is not dying. Unfortunately I know from experience what it is like for a loved one to be given a misdiagnosis death sentence. My father-in-law went in the hospital almost 2 years ago with trouble swallowing and ended up getting referred to an ENT that sent him over to a neurologist. He did an EMG/NCS on his tongue, said he had ALS, and to prepare within 6 months to make a decision on being on a ventilator or being DNR. He had to quit working early & be fed through a PEG for over a year, during which time I took him to a different neurologist, a specialist in motor neuron diseases, who said that EMGs performed on the tongue are unreliable and that he had no evidence of ALS at all. Basically what had happened is that his vocal cord was not working properly, and the ENT said it was paralyzed, which is was not. Because the first neurologist just assumed the ENT was correct, he made the diagnosis. I tried calling a few lawyers for the pain and suffering aspect, but unless you want to try through civil court, there is no malpractice involved because there was no permanent physical damage done. They're lucky he didn't follow through with the suicidal thoughts he was having when he was first told all of this bullcr@p.
Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.
Dh just told me a something
before it got back home. He took my oldest daughter to an out of town football game. Me and the baby stayed home as it is really too cold for her to be out. Well, he told me that this gal (recently divorced and hot to trot) came and sat by him and they were enjoying the game together.  He said people were staring. All I said was "okay." Okay, I need to keep my head. I should just trust Dh but we are having marital problems and the subject of divorce has come up but I thought we were going to put it behind us and work it out. Help me not blow up and blow it out of proportion. I can sometimes loose my head.
That's what they were told - sm
That the repair would be so obvious, it would be like night and day. I don't know, I guess if it were me, I would definitely want to know just exactly how much my premium would be going up before I made a decision. They do have the option of just havig their LR done for 200-300 dollars though, versus having the entire carpeting replaced and paying a higher premium. So, in reality, they will be paying for the carpeting anyway, like a poster above said.
He just told her (sm)
that he was about to compliment her, and that she could ditch the surprised act and just say thank you. He said something like that a couple of times, in other words to not act so surprised she's getting a compliment and like, really? really? me? and just say thank you, and that's what she did.
She really sang great last night, like she does just about every time.
Boy was I just told - NOT - sm
I just got a call from the mother of this girl who comes over now and then telling me that I am a horrible hostest and how dare I make her daughter feel uncomfortable.
OH PUH-LEEEEEEZ!
I'm laughing, hoping this means we won't see this brat OR her nasty witch of a mother darken our doorstep again.
So this is what happened. The girl comes over to "hang out". I was up from my desk moving a load of laundry from washer to dryer and when I walked back into my office, there she is, typing away on MSN messenger talking to friends.
It is a well known rule in this house by EVERYONE, including the kids that come over, that they do NOT even look in the direction of my computer because it is a company computer and my income depends on it. There are TWO other computers that are for family use. STAY OUT! Clear enough? Apparently not to this little brat.
I came back into my office and told her she needed to get away from my desk, telling her for the millionth time that it is my work desk only. I was nice at this point but not happy.
She then tells me "Just a second, I'm talking." That's when I blew a gasket!
I said, "Get out. Go home. Now." Very firm but not yelling and screaming like I would have loved to do. She turns around and makes this face at me, then pushes my chair back really hard as she is getting up and it bounces off my bookshelf, giving it a good rattle. So as she was walking out the door I simply told her, do not come back. You are not welcome.
Then her witchy mother called. I couldn't care less what the hag was yelling about so I just interrupted her and said, "HEY! She's 15. She should know better than to act like that in someone's home and if YOU don't teach her that BEFORE she does that somewhere else, this will NOT be the last time she gets the boot!" And hung up on her.
My kids were hiding in the hall giggling as all this took place. They never had the guts to tell her to get lost.
Before anyone tries putting a guilt trip on me... this kid is FAR from neglected, comes from a nice home, parents are well off, just SPOILED beyond belief and she believes that everyone should jump when she says jump. I AM NOT PLAYING ALONG!
I told her she should have said
They wouldn't like you either!
What nerve, what stupidity on his part, what ignorance. I am going to address how I feel about cats personally in a separate post and comment on some of the responses I have received. I am very appreciative of the responses and the dialogue back and forth. It is in some way healing, at least to me, and I hope to others.
tell her exactly what you told us
and she needs to be aware of the STDs out there..They think it will never happen to them, but it can...that is why talking with a GYN or nurse practitioner would be a good thing to give her pamphlets and brochures and also keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.
I was always told not to mix
your alcohols (wine coolers, beer, cocktails, etc), but more importantly don't break the seal or you'll be in the ladies' room all night.
Have Fun!!!
Perhaps I should have told the
whole story, but just wanted thoughts based on the information I did provide and the assumption that it did happen. What would you do if it were your child and you were certain that this is what was said?
Thanks to those who have responded. I look forward to seeing what others have to say as well.
Told her that already.
x
What I told
I have three - told them the truth. It worked for my daughters, worked some for my son. One of the big issues was "parties" and I just said no. They asked why. I told them that I knew them and did not think they would find it especially fun to watch their friends and themselves drink and ralph on other people's shoes. I actually described a few parties I had been to and all the graphic details. They believed me and decided not to go to parties until they were old enough to leave on their own power whenever they wanted. I just told all of them the graphic truth (my mother did not tell me and let me learn everything on my own - that was not such a good idea either in my opinion and she could have saved me a lot of grief if she had only spoken up. My son did drink when he was 18, but only at someone's home and says he did not drive. I believe him because he is now 37 and has no reason not to tell me the truth anymore. So, tell what you feel comfortable with. I think parents can have a big impact on their children when they are honest.
Have you told them what you told us?
I'd lay it right out to them like you just did here. Maybe they truly have no clue as to how it makes you feel.
He just told you
that he's looking for other options. He was being honest with you - he looked and hasn't found anything YET. Get a lawyer, get out of the marriage, and get on with your life.
My ex-MIL told the ex that she would
x
When my MIL first told me.....
I told her that my SIL was lying. MIL said she thought so too until the doctor said she was pregnant. Still....no ultrasound or anything performed. Still holding out for this to be a false positive.
I have been told that once a dog sm
tastes blood the urge will never stop. I have no idea if this is true, but it seems to make sense in some cases.
I was told that
in the morning is the best time because the pregnancy hormone is most concentrated during that time.
Told ya so! About getting a cat, I mean
I remember when you posted about your mouse problem a few weeks ago. Good for you. I have a cat who is a mousing champion! He would rather catch mice than eat or sleep. I know it's gross, but I don't have any mice.
My DH has never hit me, told him before- sm
we married that if he ever did I would divorce him in two seconds flat (that and cheat on me). I will never put up with any man physically abusing me.
Ok, did what the vet told me to do
this morning, well tried to do it lets say. I was supposed to feed my big kitty separate from the other 2 so all 3 each had their own bowl, water and I took my big boy in my work room, set him and the food down and you would think I was punishing him! He went and crouched under a chair. I just gave up on that idea but what I did do was put all their food down, allowed them x amount of minutes and then took everything up, dried and wet food. Instead of several times a day treats now will only get 2 each at night (very small bits of treats) so hopefully can make it thru the day- might be like trying to get an addict to come off their drugs. Wish me luck.
This is what I was told
by H&R block. I owe big last year because even though I payed estimated I did not pay enough (like I only paid half of what I should have paid, so I owe a lot from last year), plus now my taxes have doubled this year, so what she told me to do is pay the quarterly on time and each month send whatever I can in to the IRS, but make sure I do it every month on a consistent basis so they see you are making good with trying to pay it off. I'll have to explain to them that there is only one income, my taxes doubled this year and I will be paying every month until last years bill is paid off. She said if you call them and set up a payment plan they charge you a $25 fee for setting it up, plus interest for not paying it on time. She said this way you'll still be charged the interest, just not the set up fee. I have worked with the IRS in the past and they really aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. They have always worked with me in the past and I never got any hassles. But you know...this just sucks big time. I was barely making it last year. Now this year I work 2 weeks every month just to pay taxes. That only gives me 2 weeks a month to pay the rest of my bills. Which means I will be working 7 days a week as many hours as I can fit in a day for the remainder of my life. Will this madness ever end?
What my vet told me
I know some of this is no good since she's already got parvo, but my vet told me this about parvo prevention:
Spray the yard with bleach water wherever the puppy will be going out until they have completed there shots.
NEVER let your dog walk into the vet clinic before they are done with there shots. I had to carry my boxer pup in yesterday and he's 20 pounds now at 12 weeks!
Things could change very rapidly. My mom had a puppy that was fine when she went to bed and dead when she got up in the morning from parvo. It takes over quick.
My mom and I have brought a whole litter back minus one from parvo before, but it required around the clock attention and we both work with horses and have both worked in a vets office where we knew how to give IVs, etc. It was a very long week for us, but after about five days they were back to eating on their own and drinking well and playing.
I wish you luck. I've become very attached to my puppy and if something happened to him I'd be devastated. We are both praying for your puppies good health!
She might have told him (sm)
People often know when they're are going to die. She might have told him it was going to happen and when.
It sounds like he might have been there when she died though, too. It's hard to say. That poor husband...
someone told me....
that I should get checked for vitamin D deficiency. I just started working midnights from home at my new MT job first of March, and the weather here has been stormy a lot, my step-mom I believe thinks I'm starting to have vitamin D deficiency because I've been complaining of body aches here the last few weeks to a month and am constantly tired and I've been feeling depressed in a way. I thought the tiredness was just from lack of sleep trying to get adjusted to this new schedule...I hope its not deficiency, but I wondered how long it takes for symptoms to show up since its only been a few months, I don't think that's it...
I told everyone at 6 weeks...
then waited to tell son when we had first ultrasound...
She already told me she called and they said SM
she can't until March because they already had a claim. They would be cancelled if they claimed it. It does cover it, though.
My opinion, she should not have told them
Definitely should be up to the parents. All kids are going to hear the truth from peers at school . . . no way around that, but the teacher should have enough sense to realize that some parents would be upset with an adult spilling the beans. I know my older son (middle school now) was told a few times by friends at school. I finally told him in 5th grade (my parents never told me, and Santa still visits me). At the time, I was struggling with some religious issues dealing with extended family, and I really wanted him to understand that God is real (at least to those who believe), and did not want him thinking the same way about that when he learned the truth about Santa. My younger son is in 5th grade now, the autistic 10-year-old mentioned in the punishment thread. He has been told, and I just have not had the heart to confirm it with him.
By the way, the older son was told that as long as he kept quiet "Santa" would still bring presents.
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