She's mad that you'll usurp her presence in your flashy red dress! LOL..put the
Posted By: book on a table w/several pens & go dance! :) NM on 2007-08-14
In Reply to: Another wedding question... SM - MissouriMT
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- Another wedding question... SM - MissouriMT
- She's mad that you'll usurp her presence in your flashy red dress! LOL..put the - book on a table w/several pens & go dance! :) NM
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Who said those things are said in the children's presence? (sm)
I don't see where it says that anything like that is being said in the kids presence. The dad is calling it a "vacation." When parents have problems that does not mean the kids should be taken from both of them - dad is at home being a dad it sounds to me.
Dress
Every year they change the rules in those bride books. At my daughter's wedding, which was semi-formal, but outside (????? is this congruent?????) the mother of the groom wore white! My one pet peeve is that the mothers not wear white too! However she is a tacky woman, so what should I have expected? She was given the color scheme and the bride's mother has first choice, was asked not to wear white or pants, but not only did she wear white, she wore pants! May I add that she looked ridiculous because she chose some hippie-dippie flowing cotton things that would have looked okay at a parade or a yard sale, with huge pantaloon legs and wore flip-flop like sandals. (Pain is still coursing through my body from this faux pas 12 years later). But, having done this before more than once I found that at Nordstrom's they have wonderful salespeople and great dresses and they will bring you things to the dressing room that suit you and your budget just tell them basically what you want and what you want to spend. Stay away from bridal stores, they try to sell you "bridesmaid dresses" and will ooh and ahh over you even if you look like a clown and most of the dresses show too much skin or have ruffles and bows attached in all the wrong spots if you are over 23. I took my daughter whom I trust to know me and what I like as well as what looks best on me. Good luck! Hope your new in-laws are more fun than mine! They are still tacky, but then I rarely see them! 
Red dress or no dress.
Having a guest book attendant is popular in the South and is supposed to be an honour. Here is a website with some info but it does say coordinate color somewhat.
Given the circumstances, if she really felt uncomfortable with what you are wearing, I would keep it pleasant, it is after all her day and you might feel the same way if in her shoes. I myself would just explain to the bride (especially if you were asked to hold this position until the last minute)...
"I am honored that you have asked me to participate in your wedding, but since I was not expecting this, the red dress is the only one that I brought with me and I honestly cannot afford to purchase a new one right now. If you are still uncomfortable with me wearing this however, I would truly understand if you would like to choose someone else for the position."
That will leave the ball in her court. If she wants to offer to buy you one, so be it. The choice is strictly hers.
Wikipedia had some interesting info on the colors. Red for auscpiousness meaning luck or promising, and how white was originally for mourning and blue was the color associated with purity.
It should not matter to her as long as you don't outshine her. If anything guests will be talking "bad" about you not her, and in that case I wouldn't give a flip!
How about help her with a dress? sm
The dresses are extremely expensive and maybe if you could help financially with the dress of her choice, that would make her day the most memorable as well as beautiful pictures. She basically needs to feel like a queen.
You could pay for her to get manicure/pedicure, buy her jewelry, pay for picture setting at a photography studio, or school pics if someone else is not, pay for her to get her hair done or makeup done.
Ultimately, you cannot control the eating that day and activities unless you teamed up with her date and coordinated that with him to make sure he could afford a really nice place or pay for it for them.
I would suggest you going down and setting up a time before their prom activities to take some really good photos of them, play ones, serious ones, etc depending on their relationship. Just went through 2 proms recently with my DD and our pics we got are way better than any of the school pics. Sending them to Walmart to be printed as soon as I figure out what I want! Their pic packages are really reasonable. You could even put together a photo album of pics for her for later of her special day. Email me if you like, we have some adorable pics of my DD.
Bridesmaid dress
My cousin is getting married in a few months and is in the process of picking out her bridesmaid dresses. Her dress has cranberry trim on it, so she wants our dresses to be that color and she also wants them to be long. I went to the boutique with her and she showed me her top three choices.
1. floor length satin, strapless with a straight skirt.
2. floor length chiffon and satin with spaghetti straps, also with a straight skirt.
3. tea dress (mid calf) satin with a butterfly beading design, netting under the skirt, bow tie spaghetti straps.
If you were the bride, which dress would you pick for the bridesmaids?
Really, what do they dress like, the Amish?
Or wear a burqa/burka? LOL
Complete with red dress...
Weddings have become such shows...it's ridiculous! I've been to 2 weddings in 2 weeks, neither one too showy, but just money spent on silly little things (no programs!) like bubbles to blow at the bride and groom, which no one was left by the time they left...candies with their names on them, etc. Boy, can't wait til my DD gets married! 
I'm drunk enough now to tell you that you may have my dress,
but you will never have my hat!!!!!
He didn't see me in it, but he saw my MOM in the dress.
I wore my mother's dress, and her wedding pictures were displayed in our house. So he saw the dress before we were married. I don't think that counts. :)
Deep Purple Dress
Bridesmaid dresses in a deep purple. Not sure if I should go for metallics- gold or silver or stick with black? The wedding is in the afternoon in church and a reception at a golf course. What do you think?
Dress code for students?
Our school system is looking at implementing a strict dress code for all students...khaki pants and solid colored collard shirts (basically a polo shirt) but no brand-names are allowed. My children hate the idea..ages 14 and 16. Any opinion on this?
Your dress code is not being followed apparently,
because you yourself state your neice wore shorts too short and your son had to change his shirt. If your school had uniforms, these would not happen. Any disruption, such as having to pull this child or that child out for breaking the dress code or other things disrupts your educational system, understand?
I don't remember my dress size
being asked on any job applications. Are they supposed to be able to tell over the phone? Of all places to say this - around a bunch of people whose employers have, for the most part, never seen them!
< thud >
Red dress attendant at wedding
Just got back from vacation and saw the post about bride not wanting red dressed attendant at wedding. Getting past keeping the book part (some know about it, others do not, some agree, some do not) but I am talking the red thing. First of all, anyone wearing red is usually saying LOOK at me. The bride has every right in asking anyone in the wedding party NOT to wear red. This is her day- NOT anyone elses. It falls under the same thing as no one wearing white to the wedding- that is supposed to be reserved for the bride only. Wearing red would be about the same as wearing sequin dress and I guess also most do not know you should not wear black although I see women doing that also at weddings. I think the problem now days is most do not know manners - I recently saw the most outlandish dress for a funeral, bare arms, bare midriffs, very short skirts, capris and/or bermudas. Any request a bride makes for her wedding for her attendants SHOULD be followed to HER liking, not theirs. Any who disagree with this post really just do not know etiquette but should brush up on theirs - try reading Emily Post to begin with.
Jo got married and all we got was this bleep dress!
nm
The View. Dress or jeans?
x
dress mani or pedi
!
Why do some thin women dress
like hoes? I'd rather see the outline of a roll through an ill-fitting shirt than see some girl's entire butt crack. That's just NASTY.
thanks! :) I'll see if he'll ask some female friends SM
Thank you everyone! It has been great reading all of your responses! Goodnight!! "See" you all tomorrow!
Hugs,
Chickadee
Anyone been to a wedding on the beach in Hawaii? Need help w/ MOB dress.
I have already posted this on another board, but I need all the suggestions I can get, and I appreciate any and all help.
My friend has asked me to help her shop for a mother of the bride dress. She really has no idea what she wants to look for, and she has done no looking on her own. We are going to go shopping not this weekend but next. The bride said for her to just pick out a simple dress. The wedding is mid March, on the beach, and they say the temperature is 70s-80s year round there (I wouldn't have known this myself LOL). I don't know the colors they are using yet, but I'm sure she does by this time.
What kind of style should we look for? MOB is 48 years old, slightly overweight but not terribly so, and relatively conservative. Any suggestions? Thanks! Y'all seem to have great taste.
Some Georgia schools have dress codes...sm
and they work with school uniform vendors to provide them really cheaply, around $7-8 for each shirt and each pair of pants or shirt.
My daughter goes to a school with a dress code and it's nice not having the "what is OK to wear to school" discussions in the morning. It also eliminates kids who come from poor families feeling inferior to other kids over their clothes.
RE: Help on mother of the groom dress - see message
I'm only 47 and don't want a "matronly" dress. Wedding is in 6 weeks and I need help. Any suggestions?
single digit dress-size here
oops, well I guess I failed - i have 2 children, although do have second generation middle class values.
A tea-length basic black dress?
What kind of company does your husband work for? Would that help in your decision? My opinion is you can't go wrong with black. Accessorize to make the dress "pop". Nicely of course. Congrats to your husband for his award.
If it were MY child, I'd buy her a pretty dress to wear
You bigots are appalling.
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
it was a blue dress firstly and Clinton lied
My above-the-knee little sparkly black cocktail dress! - nm
8
Not from CA, but what about a fancy sun dress and a sparkly wrap of some sort for the AC/night
s
Will they all be barefoot or wearing flip flops? Would just go for a simple sun dress or sheath,
s
I wore the same dress I wore for my
senior dinner and for graduation. I met DH after school....ummm....I don't know if he ever seen me in it or not...BUT my ex did! LOL
I'll buy them ... sm
Of course I am teasing you. I love Longaberger baskets, but I can understand them not being everyone's cup of tea. I am sort of in the same situation with my father-in-law. He gives me the most God-awful stuff. He is retired, has no money, and feels the need to buy me something. This year he gave me an outfit that a 17-year-old girl would have loved. I am 42. I just smile and say thank you. Really, I keep telling my husband I would rather him just keep his money, but I can't hurt his feelings. I would just take the baskets, smile, say thank you, and put them in my attic as an heirloom for my grandchildren or something. They are beautiful and surely someday one of your children or their spouses might like to have them. Just a thought.
i'll take abc any day over any of them....
Thanks! - I'll try anything (sm)
That might possibly help me to avoid surgery, except for the book slamming thing! T
you'll see...sm
Her "rockstar wannabe" look...hilarious! She's just too...eeww...for me anyway. Something about her creeps me out.
I'll have to try it.
My Avon rep from work quit because she claimed that they would only send her half the order and her customers were getting upset. My mom does Avon through a friend and she has bought me necklesses from Avon when I was little as well. That friend has been doing Avon for 40 years. She is in her mid 80s now and wants to give it up but her son won't let her because that is the only thing that will get her out of bed anymore, so he helps her with it. It is hard to find reps around here because do it for a few weeks then quit.
Thanks, I'll try it! /nm
`
LOL, no they'll be
okay with it. It's only my parents coming over. My hubby dooesn't really like her dressing anyway so he won't care! And the kids, they could care less! I have a small family on my side. Hubby's is the big one and we're not going over there until my parents leave here!
I believe I'll try that.
Thanks - i'll try that
Will let you know how it works.
I'll take that one better
I moved here with 9 cats, and I've got 18 now. Long story, but two of the ladies were outdoor cats (one was a feral) and they were "in the mood for love."
Now there's Lil Rust, Baby Face, Tuxedo, BC (stands for black cat), Dusty (resumbles a cotton puff with legs and a face), Gypsy, Willow, and Gizmo. Scooter found a home.
Anyone get the impression that I love cats?
I'll second that!
No malls or shopping for me!!
I'll second that!
I have only done it once though because I feel incredibly guilty doing it...well make that twice...I did it tonight too. :)
What you see is what you'll get.
What you see is what you get. That is what they told me in ground training for my private pilot; of course, they were referring to the weather, but it holds true for a lot of other things and situations.
One thing about long-relationships that I have learned is that the only person you can "change" is yourself. So, if your significant other has any kind of habit or personality quirk that "bothers" you before entering into marriage, that same issue will be there after you've married no matter what the other person "promises" to do or don't do.
My boss once called me into his office (I thought I was in trouble again!) and asked my opinion about his marrying his girlfriend. He said he wanted to marry her, "take care of her," but that he could not "stand" the fact that she smoked. He also said that she promised to quit smoking after they got married. I told him basically the same thing, what you see is what you get. I also told him that to expect her to change, even with the promise of doing so, was unrealistic and that he would have to accept her as she is...smoking and all, even after the marriage. No matter what quirks the other person has before the marriage, they'll still have the same quirks after the marriage. She did try to give up the smoking; however, she eventually failed and resumed the smoking. Apparently, it was more than he could stand, and they ultimately divorced. Of note, he was a control-type freak whose idea of socialization was snuggling up to the TV set and eating pizza, and she was a free-spirited social being who liked to be around a lot of people. He did do some socializing, going out dancing, going out to eat, etc. to placate her, which was really totally against his nature. He knew beforehand what the issues were but chose to go ahead with the marriage, thinking that he could get her to change. She did'nt. What he saw before the marriage was what he got after the marriage.
The issue then becomes not what the other person will do to compromise but what you will accept, knowing full well what the other person's habits and quirks are and how far you are willing to go to accept that fact and be comfortable with those issues. If you are uncomfortable now and feel this is a significant issue for you, this will be the same after the marriage. Don't expect him to change. The only person you can change is yourself.
You can either accept him as he is and you, yourself, do the compromising, or you can move on to find yourself a more compatible life partner. If you choose to continue the relationship, however, do not feel guilty about "dragging" him along to any social events or worry about his socializing with the others. If he truly did not want to go, he wouldn't have gone in the first place. Maybe that would be his way of compromising for your issues.
Walking away from somebody you really think you love is tough. I've done it, and it does hurt for a while, but it is a whole lot less hurtful than divorcing. As I look back upon that decision, I know that it was the right thing to do. There will always be a "soft spot" in my heart for him, but I know that I could never really stand "to stomach" some of his quirks on a regular, life-long basis.
You need to do a lot of soul-searching about this. I wish you peace and happiness no matter what your decision is.
Margo
I know I'll let her go -
There's a saying that when an emotional decision has to be made, the right thing is usually the hardest thing. She needs to be able to fly. I'd never try to manipulate her into staying. Not my style. And yeah, I know I'll survive. But I don't have to like it!
I'll look into that, thanks. nm
X
AI - Who'll Go
I think it'll be Matt. To me it's getting really hard. Everyone left is very talented in my opinion. It's just going to get harder in the next week or so getting down to the wire.
You'll be okay
Deep breath. In. Out. Okay. You'll be okay. Be as calm as you can to the investigator. Explain it like you did here and they'll definitely see the truth. Cleaning the house sucks, I know, but you'll get that done, too. If the crap your husband has left around is too much to fit in the trash dumpster, see if you can sneak it into a store's dumpster at night. Or an office building who doesn't lock theirs. I used to take stuff to the dumpster at the office where I worked and even after I left, I took stuff there a couple of times.
Frankly, everything that was his would be in the trash. If it hasn't been touched in the last 6 months, it has to go. Get the kids involved, too - especially if they're on board with you and hubby splitting up, which if I remember correctly, they are.
Good luck. You'll be okay and you'll come through this onto the other side.
Keep us posted as to how things go, okay?
Either go with me or I'll go by myself
Well, I tried to get old I don’t want to leave the home to go. You see, hubby is a truck driver and he said before we married we would travel. He does and now he seems to want to "do things around the house" for his vacation. I have 2 vacations planned this year, both with 2 different groups for me but I thought perhaps he and I could take a few days and go to Orlando, Sea World and just get out of town for a few days. He had his chance so now probably around the end of June I plan on a) either driving down to Florida or b) flying down to Micky Mouse town, renting a vehicle and taking my own self to Sea World. Anyone else out there have such a hard time of getting hubby to join in on their outings?
I'll see her tomorrow and ask.
I'll post then and let you know.
I know I'll get slammed for this sm
I have broad shoulders! What kind of wimp would hire a sitter to watch their kids and clean their house while they type at home? I had a phone line installer tell me his wife does coding at home and takes the kid to daycare. He couldn't believe I worked at home plus took care of kids. My son is 13 and in the National Juniors Honor Society- straight A's. My daughter is in 1st grade and reads on a 4th grade level. I read to them at night. I played with them during the day. What a bunch of lazy people that can't work at home and take care of some kids for goodness sakes. You have to take breaks. If you are working for a company that requires you to sit and type for 8 hours straight with no breaks/lunch, you are the fool, not them! I wouldn't tolerate that for a minute!!!!!!! Is that why everyone is so unhappy here? I talk to the neighbors! I answer my phone! I do my laundry/load dishwaser, clean litter box, dust furniture. I go to the grocery store! I take my kids places! And I still make 50 K a year! SuperMOM!!!!!!! And someone says they wait until their teenagers aren't home! Paleeze! Teenagers????
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