Seems awful strange your sisters coming out - sm
Posted By: XXX on 2009-01-16
In Reply to: Need opinions on a situation. SM - anon
out with this 17 years later--- do they have a motive? Do they want your marriage to break up for some reason? Would they band together and lie to make you miserable? Any bad blood? I find it hard to believe a 20-y/o guy would try to seduce and 12 and 8-y/o-- unless he is a pedophile--I know guys can get freaked when a baby is born, no sex for six weeks and all that, but still find this hard to swallow. In any case your trust is broken, you need to go to counseling. I would not trash my marriage over it though especially if you both still love each other and it is a he said/she said thing. It is hard to believe someone would make up such a story, but then again why did they wait 17 years to come to you with this info, that makes your wonder too, what do they hope to acheive by making you miserable and possibly a divorced single mother? You are in a lose-lose situation no matter what you do. If you stay in your marriage your sisters will never forgive you--- how have they been acting with him for the last 17 years, seemingly okay, or aloof, etc? Look at everyone's interactions over the years, it may give you some insight. In any case, counseling is a must, if he won't go, go without him, but if he wants to help restore your trust in him, he will attend. Good luck.
Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old. To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Sisters
I'm from a family of 5, 3 girls and 2 boys. My younger sister at the age of 42 died a year ago suddenly from a heart attack. It was a total shock . Some times I feel guilty because I am still alive, but I've been trying to make each day more special than before she died. I don't understand why she died, as she was the most active and healthy out of the family. She lived a crazy life and for some strange reason I admired her for that. There are still days when I wake up hoping that it was just a dream. I keep in touch with both brothers because they live close. My older sister lives in another state, so we don't talk or see each other very often. Sure stuff happens in families and people fight. I have learned that most of the time the fights are about petty and superficial things, like money and who gets what. It's just not worth it.....because when you think about it....in the end money can't comfort you or talk to you like a sister could. My mother also died a couple of years before my sister, and I just miss them more than I could explain in words. I'm stuck in a house with all guys, husband and two teenage boys. It would have been nice to have had a daughter to do things with.....but it's not gonna happen at my age.
To make a long story short......there is no other love more special than between sisters and I would give anything to have her back. Before she died, she told me she was moving back to be near family again. That night when she called I was too busy typing to talk...boy do I wish I could do that over again!!!! We live and learn, but it was a lot more fun when she was still here.
My 2 sisters.
Would love to have more friends. It seems that everyone is too busy.
OMG! We might be sisters-in-law!
LOL!! No kidding - your in-laws sound like mine. My husband had a very cold, formal upbringing. When he was 17 he found all his baby pictures in the barrel by the curb waiting for the trashmen!
I don't understand people like that, but that makes it even more crucial that you show your boys true love and affection - even your husband is probably learning a lot by watching a real loving mother in action.
You go girl!!
Including sisters
What is another role 2 sisters could play in a wedding besides bridesmaid? I was thinking about having them both stand at the guest register. It is a small, simple wedding and there are not a lot of "parts" for them to have. Only having one matron of honor. She is the groom's sister and introduced us. I think my sisters will be a little miffed for not also being bridesmaids but I only one since I'm keeping it small (as well as other reasons). Also, what is something else a 4-year-old boy could do other than being the ring bearer? Thanks so much for the tips. You guys are the best. Thanks for letting me pick your brains.
Sisters . . can't pick em
As the oldest of 10, 2 brothers, one passed on quite young, and 6 sisters, it's bittersweet. Sometimes I think I am the odd one as I don't think like my sisters, and therein lies the problem. Our parents died young. Three of us married sisters took in two younger ones each, and did a relatively good job, not great, but they were loved, cared for, included in everything, and I truly enjoyed and relished their company. Now we are all adult women, and I hardly see them because they are too weird. I have always praised them, and have always been proud of them. They all educated themselves, have masters and bachelor degrees in the medical field. What they have in education they lack in common sense or the ability to gain insight. It amazes me and floors me that they hate my mother's family. My sisters target them for neglect and abandonment, when in reality we had lousy, abusive parents who did not take care of themselves, which is in part why they died so young. My sisters focus their hurt on our mother's family. My sisters are narcissistic, antisocial, and completely paranoid of me because I do get along with my mother's family. My sisters do not include me in any of the holiday functions. Oh well, I say, I am the lucky one because I can be objective, look at painful situations, hold no one accountable for my lot in life, gain insight and grow from my past, and love being around people and socializing. What hurts me is that I have finally figured out why they are so distant with me - pretty much without saying it clearly, this summer, the sister I was the closed to, had a talk with me and pretty much feels that it would have been better if they had been adopted out!! Unbelievable. That is so easy to say because it did not happen that way. Now, I think the only sad part is that they all have such beautiful children, and what a loss that they do not allow me to have a relationship with them. I would love to have a relationship with my nieces and nephews, take them out, have them over for sleep overs, and cookie baking. Life is so funny sometimes. In spite of it all, I think that I am the one truly blessed and pretty lucky.
he was 19 or 20 and sisters were 12 or 13, and 8 or 9, very young.
nm
What would your teacher sisters say to your views?
kli
Cat sisters: Fluffy and McKenzie...
Griffin.
No sisters, 1 brother deceased, just me
NM
My mother and her sisters all had copies
of my grandparent's along with the doctor's office and there was a copy in their hospital charts.
Were the sisters children when this happened??!! sm
If so, then yes, I would leave him immediately. I was thinking of them all as young adults.
shame on your 2 sisters! Did they talk
your mother into disinherit you or leave you out of her will? If there is nothing in written by your mother against you, you are still a legal heir and can still go to court!
Believe me, God will get them! Shame, shame!
My sisters and nieces and nephews and I stopped
exchanging gifts several years ago. My mom and dad and my family stopped exchanging gifts a couple of years ago. This year, my 2 grown children and my husband and I agreed to keep Christmas very, very simple. One gift each. No big major spending. We have a new grandson who is a week old and, of course, he will receive gifts from us, but, even for him the spending will be kept to a minimum this year 'cause he won't know the difference. Maybe you need to just tell your family that you've decided to cut back this year. They may not understand, but you should not have to stress about such a beautiful time of the year. I know that I am actually looking forward to the holidays for the first time in a long time because I'm not so concerned about how I'm going to be able to buy gifts for everybody. We are by no means rich people, but we do have what we need and a lot of what we want. There is really nothing that any of us needs. We are truly blessed.
Friday Night Lights and Brothers and Sisters, love them!NM
nm
That's exactly what I said - how awful
Wow, that's awful!
Hindsight is always best. If I had it to do over again...nevermind. I could see from the very first CASA report that she didn't like me and thought the ex was golden. If I said the sky was blue she reported I "alleged" it and it had yet to be substantiated, if he said the sky was brown she reported it as complete fact that she herself had verified. That kind of biased reporting lets you know right then she's your enemy.
That's awful
Thank God I never had that. I've never had any problems since the tubal. Hopefully the OP's doctor will tell her all the pros and cons before she makes a decision
OMG - that is awful
Okay, I'll quit griping...your situation is much much worse. I don't blame you for not wanting to leave. You were there first, and he's your dad. She should go. I really feel bad for you. I guess unless you own the property all around you, you just get stuck. I'd love to move to a 55+ community as I know the neighbors would be quiet, however, got 7 more years before I could do that. I hope things will work out for the best for you.
Isn't it awful
I was talking to my DH and told him (it is actually his half-brother going through this), and he agreed its hard to know what to say because his brother laughs about a lot of stuff (serious stuff and makes jokes out of it). So we have decided a sympathetic uh-huh is probably the most appropriate. I can't even remember how many stupid things I've said over the years. - Oh here's a winner for you....years ago everyone was down at our place for my grandmother-in-laws memorial service (didn't even have a funeral but that's another story). Anyway...we were in a restaurant and the seater was so slow...I'm talking about slow...looked like she was walking in slow motion and it reminded me of what my dad used to say when people moved so slow, which everyone always laughed and luckily for me this time they did too. Ready for what I said. It was "my dad always tells me that these people have died but they haven't realized it yet" Talk about an ee-gads!
Wow - that's awful. I am so sorry you are going through that. sm
I am imagining my now 8 year old daughter acting that way one day (I pray not!) but I think I would have to get very tough on her. I would sit her down and say, "look, what happened to my daugher? Do you understand how much I love you? Because I love you so much I cannot and I will not let you ruin your life. It is my job to protect you and to raise you so that when you leave this home and go out into the world, you are as well-prepared as I can make you. Because of that, I will do WHATEVER I have to do to protect you. If that means putting you in rehab, so be it. If that means taking your car keys, fine. Whatever lengths you decide to go to to destroy yourself, I will go to to try to prevent you from it. In the end, I would tell her, it is her choice, and that even if you do all you can do, she can still choose to ruin her life, but when she does, you will know you did all you could to prevent it.
It's about 25,000 here and it's awful
you would think that being in a small town has its benefits but it doesn't. There is no work, people are getting laid off. There is no industry except a couple grocery stores, restaurants, and things like oil changers, Staples, etc. But not the kind of industry that produces anything like computers, TVs, etc.
Anyway...the crime rate is skyrocketing. There is no college, so the kids are graduating from HS and "hanging out" all over the place. The drug problem is getting so bad. They even have special Meth squads, but the problems are not getting solved. Additionally our "wonderful" town decided to vote against any funding for the police or fire department, so our jails are closing down and the police are being cut in half (think we will have maybe one or two POs for this area). They are letting the criminals out of jail and they are roaming the streets because they can't afford to keep the jails open. People are being robbed in the middle of the night by thugs who just break into the house and are so bold they don't care if anyone is home. The conveinece store 2 blocks away from us has been robbed a few times and when we drive by there are a bunch of "hoodlums" (for lack of better word) hanging around the outside. Drug addicts and gangs are now walking up and down the streets in front of our house. Nobody in our neighborhood talks to each other. So we're looking to move where there are more police and people are willing to pay higher taxes to keep the public a little safer.
This would be awful.
I had a patient with a fourth degree laceration after giving birth, which caused her to lose all rectal sphincter tone and she had no control over her stool or flatus for 3-4 weeks, until she underwent repair. She had also developed a massive infection from the original repair. Yikes.
What an Awful Thing
I'll be praying for your kitty Alice. I lost my own cat a week ago today, not due to food poisoning, but old age, and I definitely can feel your pain. Please keep us posted.
The big company I used was awful.
Different people every time and they used a special schedule they could not alter when I had a special request. An individual would be more flexible, but make sure they are bonded and paying taxes so you don't run into trouble with the IRS.
wow. awful sight.
`
My punctuation was awful there.
Please excuse.
Wow - no not that extreme!! That's awful! (sm)
He's controlling and he is old fashioned and patriarchal but he's not completely insane!
These stories are just AWFUL. :(
Don't people realize family members can leave us forever in the blink of an eye? Life is WAY too short to put golf or shopping or anything such nonsense before visiting family. Man, even if it's only for an hour or two, it can really make their day. How horribly sad.
Oh gosh...that is just awful...
my husband's 25-year-old cousin actually hung himself last year when my son was almost 8 and we had an opportunity to explain the situation and let him know that he can come and tell us anything without judgment...we owe our children as parents to be open and honest with them!!!
All the time and it is awful. If I take something for it s/m
I am dragging most of the next morning. Wish I had a good answer for us.
Jeez! Awful! ...sm
I don't have a 401K though because I am a IC. I am saving though and I will open an IRA one day. A lot of people are losing a lot of money in their 401K.
What awful things to say
Maybe you shouldn't own any animals.
Man, was Sanjaya awful last night!
I was glad to see that Simon finally acknowledged what we all know is going on (voting for the worst) when he said it wasn't funny anymore and they were seriously trying to pick an American Idol. I also found it funny that Ryan felt he needed to step in when Simon was critiquing Sanjaya. Why? He wasn't saying anything he hadn't said before, or anything he hadn't said to other past contestants. I liked the fact that Simon motioned Ryan off the stage, because I felt Ryan was out of line and should just let Sanjaya take his lumps.
Hopefully it will be Sanjaya tonight, but who knows. Maybe he will at least finally make the bottom 3. I think it might be Chris. I was disappointed with Lakisha's performance, and I thought Melinda did absolutely awesome.
Especially that awful show "Cheaters"!
xx
Oh, how awful for you. I hope you can get it settled.
I'll be thinking about you today. I have an 11-yo too and this just hurts my heart.
No need to compare notes, she is just awful to buy for so
I told her several times to send me a list with no response. I just decided toheck with it and then finally heard from her. I told her NO problem, no list, coal and switches and I really meant mine!
It's awful when children are sick
I hope he feels better soon.
Muskrat Love...just awful...nm
Anybody else having an awful time financially?
I can't even pay my rent on Friday because my check will be so small. I am so tired of being stressed about money. Have tried to find a job outside of this field, but no such luck.
LOLLLLLLL! They're both awful.
NM
She sings awful anyway. I never understood
how she got that far in the first place. Scott either, for that matter. He's nowhere near the caliber of singer the rest are. But I'm glad she's gone -- she was so annoying. Was she wasted last night?!
Poor child. It's so awful when children have to go
through something like it. Just said a prayer for Matthew and his family. I pray that things will get better for him and that his dad will realize what a blessing he has in his family.
I'm 40 and my production in the early a.m. hours is awful
I can't really get going until around 9:00 or so. I go to bed around 12:30 and get up before 7. Guess I need more sleep too.
Anyone every break a blood vessel in their eye. I just did and it looks awful. nm
:
Agree, he is awful. I just saw this on the Idol site...
where they have all the contestant question and answers. Check out what Sanjaya said.
Q: If you couldn’t sing, which talent would you most like to have?
A: Singing.
LOL! That says it all, doesn't it. I thought it was really funny :)
I still believe that article about the India votes is true and that they are all voting and trying to make a statement. Plus he is the current pick on the www.votefortheworst.com website. He could possibly win this thing! Now that would be really funny. Yikes!
That is just awful, well I'll be praying for your kitty!
I thought what a weird thing to happen. Who in the world would do such a thing? I'm not real up on it because I fortunately had not given our cat any of the listed foods. I sure hope your kitty pulls through. God bless his/her little heart... {{hugs}} to you...
Horror movie ads, especially that "Hostel II" one! Awful!
I'm a wuss anyway, and then add in all those horrible images and flash them around till I feel like I'm going to get a seizure or something. Shudder!
The girl in the kitchen telling her dad how awful it all is...
and then her mom gives her money in the other room. That one always cracks me up.
Try some low-fat vanilla soy milk in your joe, Hayseed. Awful at
s
I agree, and began in JULY!!!...awful now...
though I do cataloging sometimes..........seems more this year than ever....
but you buy from one, they sell your name, lists of names, and is how you get so many......
Yeah, Gwen sounded awful - sm
wonder if having 2 kids changed her voice or something or else she was having a really bad night.
|