See my post above about gift giving sm
Posted By: Anon me on 2008-01-21
In Reply to: Right now I am involved in about 15 things and I'm trying to sm - Wow
Take care of yourself first! I am glad you give so much of yourself, but take it from the source, stop killing yourself, you will know what I mean some day. Take care of you and the rest will follow. I am so tired.....stop burning the candle at both ends, charity begins at home. Then when done at home, go bowling!!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Gift Giving
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with.
In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about "gifts". We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other.
In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow.
Good luck to you!
Gift giving is HARD
So much pressure!!! Am I right??? I feel this every time I give a gift. This kid sounds like he is going to get a lot of gifts anyways. All I got, way back in 2002 when I graduated, was a cake and a dinner with my family. I would give the kid at the most $25. He just graduated High School, which is what kids are suppose to do. Now if it was college and he graduated then of course I would give more. He should be lucky that you care enough to think about him and give him something even though you seem to be struggeling with it, which is not your fault.
The idea of gift giving is not to receive anything in
Either give from the heart or don't give at all. Expect nothing in return and if you do get something, then consider it a blessing including a thank you. In God's eyes, this is what Christmas giving is truly about and isn't this all over the fact that you are child's Godparents? I think you should think about that for a minute and what responsibility that holds in this young girl's life.......... It sort of sounds like this is about you and not about what God would want.
I banned any gift giving between adults
when my husband and I got married. I will get my SIL and BIL something, but only because they have 6 small children and they always NEED something. Otherwise, Christmas is for the kids, period, plain and simple. Since I made that rule (when we had 6 small ones ourselves) his sisters refuse to come for Christmas dinner which I think is silly, but whatever. Christmas should not be all about gift giving anyway.
I think I am anti-gift giving this year
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December. I had some unexpected bills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year.
I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of "what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? " and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them.
The most inexpensive thing on my niece's list is a brand new cell phone or a brand new MP3 player with a video screen. She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December.
I really hate this time of year.
Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time?
Sorry to be so bitter.
..returnable if giving as a gift. Depending on how tight and low
s
Both! JK, actually considering giving up
coffee and wondering if Morning Thunder has caffeine or not. I love my coffee, though. Don't know if I can do it.
Giving
Two years working as a missionary overseas has taught me that material things are really not important. Do not hold onto things with such a tight fist. I guess after see children begging in the street for food daily kind of changes your perspective. Oh and then the women who washed her clothes on a rock made me vow to never complain about washing clothes in a machine.
Forgive your husband. His giving nature is more important that a rolling pin. A fire, like those in Califronia, or other natural disaster can cause you to lose all of these things. Things really do not matter anyway do they?
Have a nice Thanksgiving, and be thankful you can afford food to use a rolling a pin on. So many people in the world cannot.
giving up the
The older I got the more I got these symptoms from too many dairy products. Once I cut back the bloating went away. I think the sitting just makes it more noticeable because you cannot get away from the smell! (hope that is not too graphic:)
holiday giving
What you are doing is a wonderful thing and I understand your hurt feelings. Perhaps next year you could channel your energy into giving where it would DEFINITELY be appreciated. Regardless of whether or not you support the war in Iraq, there are many of our troops there who would love to receive a card or care package for the holidays. There are plenty of needy children here in our country who could use a card or gift for the holidays. Why not give where it is wanted and needed? Your church can give you the name of a needy family for you to help at the holidays. You have many options to chose from. Pick something that will make it feel good on both the recipient and the givers side??
Have you tried giving some fluids?
I have a shih tzu with diabetes. When is sick he will get close or under my knees. Listen to him he's trying to say I'm sick. Try feeding him some rice with a little chicken in it, something bland or even canned pumpkin, not the pie filling. Good source of fiber in both diarrhea and constipation for dogs and humans. When mine was sick the other day I got a syringe and would give him grape flavored ProPel water by gatorade, about 1 oz at a time every hour or so and then sooner as long as he kept it down. Just enough to keep from getting to dehydrated. Dogs can go down really fast when dehydrated yet some vets say they can go awhile without food/water. Not if already dehydrated though. I would recommend going on petpeoplesplace.com forum you can get some good advice with people with same breed or problems. They also make something called Rescue Remedy for anxious/nervous dogs you might check into.
I am glad everyone is giving their sm
opinion. I value that. I told in the past to work with us. If it is a specific thing, like a late movie, concert etc we can be very flexible, but to just hang out at someone's house or ride around town it is not necessry to be out past 1 a.m. Her 21 year-old sister agrees with me which is surprising. Her friends don't have curfews, but they also did not get into college either. I told her she can bring anyone home. She told me these are not the kind of people you bring home. Last night I caved in and told her 2 a.m. She did come at that time but I kept waking up untl then. I got up at 7 a.m and it is now 9 a.m and she is still sleeping. I have to admit at19 I did not have a curfew but I was always home by 1 am because I know my parents expected us to be respectful. THANKS AGAIN.
I never knew they had that! Thanks for giving
me JUST ONE MORE snack to try!!! LOL. 
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
Received none, but instead of giving one (sm)
which I planned on doing, after seeing something on the news about them, I just decided to give cold, hard cash (no complaints, btw). Anyhow, the news story said that stores profit greatly from them since people lose or forget about them, or buy more than the value of the gift card. So, I decided to just buy 50 one-dollar bills for my son's GF for a better effect LOL.
And that is precisely why they are giving it to
They are trying to stimulate the economy. They WANT people to spend it. They don't want you to put in in the bank. That's why they are not giving it to people who have money.
Re handing out money to people who don't file... that is incorrect. They do file. They just fall below the income amount to pay taxes.
I would prefer to be in a tax bracket that gives me less of this handout than one that gives me more.
Anyone giving up anything for Lent??
I'm going to be brave and say no to candy for the next 40 days!
Giving birth at 70?
A 70-year-old woman from India claims she has become the world's oldest new mother.
Rajo Devi and her husband Bala Ram had wanted a child in all their 50 years together.
She claims to have given birth to a baby girl at the end of November after having IVF treatment. Her husband is 72.
OK, I'm giving it a try again, except for the shoes.
I cleaned my sink last night and will keep that clean. Got up this a.m. and got dressed and ready for the day, which does indeed make a difference in my attitude. The only thing I won't do is wear my shoes in the house. This is something I've never done. It's not a cultural thing, it's must a me-thing. I'm always in socks in the house and keep my Crocs by the door for quick trips outside to mailbox or garden. The only time I wear shoes is when I'm out and about. This is something I've done all my life, and it just feels very weird for me to have shoes on in the house.
I would think 15 is good if you're giving her something else with it.
However, $90 for cut and color is inexpensive? I live in a pretty expensive area and basic color generally runs around $35 to $40 and cuts are not always $50+. I'd say she is expensive but if she is good probably worth it.
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
what are you giving your child's teacher
I was thinking some sort of gift card...I'm sure she is overloaded with trinkets and Christmas ornaments, etc. Any creative suggestions? 
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
Fox still has not announced if they are giving any money....sm
to the cause. Notice that they keep wanting people to donate, mentioned corporate sponsors but not once have mentioned any contributions they will make. They also have no mention of this on their website.
Good for you for giving it your best shot.
 You obviously found something that attracted you to the man since you are with him. Any and all relationships require work. We are each different individuals, and in order to live together, need to find the balance that makes each happy.
Stealing then giving to charity?
Used the stolen money to make donations to churches?!? Who does she think she is - Robin Hood? Or was she thinking on judgement day she could say "Yeah, I did some stealing, but I gave some of it to God, so its all good"?!
Is giving grandparents a scrapbook
I think it would be, but decided to get opinions. Thank you in advance.
I'm giving mine COAL. LOL. nm
nm
Well, I'm guilty of giving neighbors' dog
he does come over our fence, literally climbs over, and comes into our yard and then our house. He goes straight to the kitchen, waits for a treat and then goes out the front door and to his yard. He gets ignored a lot so I feel sorry for him. He's so cute.
I'm giving up negative comments
I'm going to let only positive comments pass my lips, otherwise I will stay quiet. Believe me, the Lord knows what a sacrifice this will be for me.
If you had read further, instead of giving ok to steal,
then you would find out other things missing. I do not understand why you would basically condone stealing because it was "meaningless things?" I work for what I have. I am certainly in no ways ashamed and neither should I be. Stealing is just that, stealing and I think it is part of thou shalt not .......
Too small for me... love my SUV and not giving it up...
and will be getting another one. Prius and the like okay for in town driving but I live rurally, shop once a week, load up the SUV and it's done. My gas mileage is 20 -24 mpg and I can afford the gas.
I can see why some folks are giving up their pets
I just took Spot and Nerys to the vet for routine senior kitty blood checks. I also got Nerys a refill on her prednisalone. It cost $325.
Those furballs had better appreciate it tonight when I shove pills down their throats.
I think you're giving them too much leeway
by thinking they might have done it out of habit. When you know someone doesn't do something, whatever it might be, you don't do that thing. They know she doesn't do the texting thing and they did it anyway. I think they were being snots.
Giving/lending should be a choice
I prefer to make the decisions as to what, if any, possessions of mine should be loaned, and to whom. If I'm kept in the dark about it, it feels a lot like theft when I don't know where my stuff is. If I then discover its been spirited out of the house by a loved one, it feels like a betrayal.
The government already takes whatever it deems necessary out of my paycheck so I can be anonomously generous to whoever they deem needy.
It is very, very easy to be generous with other people's money and stuff. Example - next time someone wants to borrow something from me, we'll just come get it from your house. Obviously you won't mind, and I can feel sooo good about myself by helping someone else by handing them YOUR stuff. I'll try really hard to remember to tell you I decided to do that, so you can feel as great about it as I do.
RE: Giving dogs bones
I was just wondering if any dog owners out there give their pups bones. I know to avoid chicken bones and such but what about marrow bones from the butcher, are they safe to give?
Giving freely but never getting back
So how many years should one spend $100-$250 on someone's birthday or Christmas while receiving nada in return all year long, not even thanks? It sure doesn't make a person feel loved or appreciated - and its hard to have the "joy of giving" when you're giving into an endless void and know there will be no presents for YOU. I want to be seen as a person with needs and feelings too - not just a perpetual gift machine, or permanent Santa. I'd rather give to charity than my kids when I have to force them to acknowledge they even GOT a gift, much less twist their arm until they choke out a thanks - and they act like I must be an alien with 2 heads to think THEY should give anything to anyone.
Actual conversation between me and 30-something kid
me - Hi, how you been, etc. (five minutes into conversation with no mention of present) Say, did you get a package in the mail from company X?
kid - yeah, that was a surprise.
me - well, did you LIKE it?
kid - oh, yeah. It was really nice, made my day! Showed my friends and they were like, wow!
me - well, I wasn't sure if you even GOT it, or if the company had even sent it to you. So I thought I'd check and see.
kid - Uh, yeah I got it. Um, thanks.
me - my holiday was pretty lonely, nobody called, and I didn't get any presents.
kid - mine too. You're the only one who ever gets me anything, everyone else just ignores me.
me - well, if you were lonely you could've called me.
kid - yeah, I know, but I was too depressed because everyone was ignoring me.
I BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL!!!!
I was only giving you back your RUDENESS
you posting the whole evening against a woman who is in distress! Do you understand? You talk about rudness and hypocrisy? Now rudeness struck you, feels nice?
I hope you changed your attitude.
I do feel for you. You won't hear me giving you the 3rd degree. sm
I do have a dog house outside with 2 outdoor dogs because I have 3 little kids and can't have an indoor dog (one son with severe allergies). We own a lot of land (13 acres) fenced and cross-fenced. They don't want to come in. They are the happiest dogs you've ever seen (Shepherd, Corgi mixes). Anyways, I don't have any advice except to say that I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I run a very neat and clean house and don't want any dog hairs everywhere or a dog who chews, which I've seen.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
My mom raises miniature yorkies. She has dog strollers, the whole nine yards. That IS NOT for me.
I think people fail to realize that dogs are dogs. They are animals (I know this will start a hate thread), but seriously. You cannot allow a dog to rule your entire life. They are dogs. My mom hasn't visited any of her family in years because she can't leave her dogs at home or board ALL of them. To me, she is missing out on a lot of things because of these "animals."
Christmas starts on the evening of 12/24, not the day after T-giving
I'm Roman Catholic, and we celebrate Christmas until the epiphany. So our decorations are up until then.
I also remember a friend of mine who lived in upstate NY. She said that they had a local tradition where she lived that said they left decorations up until Presidents Day. She was the only person who ever told me that one, so I don't know if that's so.
I agree with giving the kitty cat food.
I have an older cat, but she likes the ground stuff (wet). Now, what I'll do is put a tablespoon of that with a little bit of water. I bought covers for the cans. So, I'll keep it about 3 days in the refrigerator. Once I have it in the refrigerator, I give her a little bit of warm water with the food. I stir it up to make it sort of like a gravy. My cat has lost some of her teeth, so she doesn't like to chew but she does like dry food as well. The dry food I keep in another area of the house (laundry room), and she'll munch on that at her leisure. I did notice though I have to dump out at night what remains (bits and pieces) of the dry as I guess it gets stale. She gets the "wet" in the morning in a dish. Once she eats that, I take it up and rinse the bowl. She can munch on the dry all day long. I've found that she likes a variety of different dry foods, but I try to get the "green" kind because she doesn't go outside. My cat loves "Friskies" Dental Diet (we call 'em green ballz). I have also noticed however that she likes kitten chow. I wonder if you started more of a habitual pattern with your kitty cat as opposed to different options all day long just to kind of get him on a routine. Hope this helps! Probably not, but I luv talking about my cat! 
P/S: She sneaks into the bathrooms and drinks out of the toilet! YIKES! But I do give her a treat in the later evening either 2 tablespoons of milk or half-and-half. I also buy the soft treats to give once a while, but that's not an everyday thing! She really won't drink a bowl of water per se! 
Yep. I'm pretty good with the pill-giving
now too, but that CJ was tricking me and not swallowing his antibiotics. He'd pretend he did and then spit them out in another room.
All this is really new for Sasha. The vet told me she did her growl thing at her, and the vet told her not to do it, so Sasha kissed her. Cracked me up because that's Sasha for you - all talk, but loving.
I'm giving mine a trip to Vegas
NM
I'm more annoyed that the court keeps giving her one more chance.
xx
Stop giving empty threats and go through with one (sm)
If that means leaving temporarily or permanently then fine. You don't live with your 28 year old do you? If not, how can you threaten him? He's kind of out of your hands at this point. But you don't have to live with your husband if he is being a jerk.
Posters here are giving great advice
I would definitely stash the savings before she got her hands on it. AND, I do believe she needs some help. Overspending can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. At the least, she needs budget counseling. You have to think past the moment, to the years ahead when you are both old and could possibly be broke.
We live in a double-wide trailer, older, but it is nice, and we are fixing it up room by room. Our mortgage is smaller than what rent would be. This is a conscious choice for us, knowing that if you choose the big fancy house, the big fancy payment comes with it. If you are already struggling, please stay where you are. I think you knew your answer before you asked us, just wanted affirmation, and all of the posters are wise on their advice. Best of luck to you.
me, too. Chantix is giving me the wildest dreams
i have quit so many times it's a breeze. i get the nicotine gum -- 170 pieces 30 bucks. works pretty good, but then i loose it -- again. never quit quittin'
That is very sweet! I have never thought of giving trees before!
~
I find all here giving very good information
No one raked her over the coals- where do you get that idea? She asked for and I think got very good input. No one was out of sorts here except the very last posting.
Because I think only in the US comes teh month in front of the day, giving the date..nm
nm
need help giving a cote for an MP3 file that is 10 MB long. SM
So if I charge 15 cents per 65 character line, how would I go about giving a cost estimate for an MP3 file that is about 10 MB long? Anyone?? Thanks.
Giving away kittens. Need advice on best approach.
I have four 9 week-old kittens that need a home. I found a good new home for 2 of them. Anyway, I have told the girls, ages 7 and 3, from the start that those kittens will need to be given away. However, they have both become very attached to the kittens. Anyway, the people are asking for them and is wondering when the best time to come get them. I don't know if it would be better for them got get the kittens when the girls are here or when they are at school. They are already getting under our cars and I am afraid they are going to get ran over. They can eat solid food and drink water. I still see mama cat nurse them though not as much as she used to. Any tips would be helpful.
|
