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Posted By: Sorry to hear that on 2007-07-02
In Reply to: What do you do when your husband says - mtmomof3
My friend just went through the same thing but because she didn't want to be alone, they stayed together until recently. He was having an affair and the other lady divorced her husband which is when he decided he was not going to stay married to her. I guess I'm saying this because I have seen what my friend has gone through with the other lady and if your husband feels that way, he might also find someone with the same interests. It is better to separate/divorce before an affair than during/after, as in the case with my friend. Good luck!
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the underlying read-between-the-lines message of the insurance lobbyist's message was (sm)
to, yes, appeal the denied claim. However, she lobbies for the insurance companies. She comes across sounding like she's on the patient's side but in reality she is on the side of the insurance company. The insurance company gets to deny whatever claims they want right off the bat. That leaves the SICK patient (who needs the coverage NOW when they are sick) to have to go through the appeals process. That could take quite a while. Imagine a cancer patient being denied some form of treatment that is going to help them. They now have to go through the appeals process (or pay out of pocket) in order for that treatment to be covered. In the MEANTIME their cancer is progressing. From the point of view of the insurance company, if they drag it out long enough they don't have to pay for it at all. That same insurance lobbyist was on 20/20 a little while back and basically came right out and said that the insurance companies COULDN'T AFFORD to pay for coverage for sick people. She's not on the patient's side.
Message to Mom of 3 below.
Wow! First of all have to give you compliments on stating your opinion as I figure you knew you would get nailed. I am also one that is a firm believer of kids have the ability to learn, sometimes through tough love and sometimes through every day simple life. Although I would disagree with you about the "coat incident" I still can relate to you on trying to teach kids to take care of your things, etc. I love my kids dearly, but I know at any moment I could be taken from this earth and I want them to be as prepared as they can be at 8 and 9. I don't expect perfection, but when they do "screw up" I make sure they definitely know it (and remember it). I think most people now do not appreciate children the way we do. They are very intelligent if you give them the opporunity to be. They deserve respect just as adults do (when they earn it.... just like adults). We have to teach them to be adults and it has to start somewhere. Again, I don't completely agree with you, but overall I understand what you are saying. Please ignore any misspelling in my post... I am using my husband's keyboard, which is "stiff as a board!)
Sorry, should be sm for above message
nm
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I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I also believe that sexual preferences should be personal and private. I would not refuse to shop at a store because a clerk was gay, but frankly, that is something that I shouldn't even know about a stranger. A person's sexual behavior should be totally private.
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I paid my balance off in full, received a finance charge statement of about $42. I called the credit card, and said I do not understand - I paid the balance in full, what is this charge for. Act like you need them to help you understand. They adjusted my account and took that finance charge off and said I will receive a statement of the adjustment and my balance is now 0.
It really all depends on how you handle it and in what way you speak to them. Try it that way and see if they will adjust it off.
Good luck!
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I just had my ovary removed due to a cyst and surgery went well, I did well postop and was relieved that it was over. However, just found out that the pathology report showed carcinoma and now I have to have a total hysterectomy and staging workup. Anyone been through this that can offer some comfort in what to expect? Thanks.
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Thank you for your suggestions. At least you give me suggestions other than telling me to seek therapy or bariatric surgery, which I would never consider anyway. I get defensive when I feel attacked for my opinions, thus the *anger* in my previous posts. I DID read your post thoroughly and I did note that you used to have a weight problem, as well. Anon upset me, and I guess I took it out on you. I apologize.
I will put in to use some of your suggestions, but just so you know, my one meal a day does not include snacking, either. I am busy working most of the day, have a lot to do, and the time just slips away before I realize I am hungry, which is generally around 3 in the afternoon. I may have a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, and sometimes water, but that is all. Some will find fault with that, as well, I am sure, but that's the truth. Again, thanks for your input. At least you are more pleasant about it all.
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Your symptoms sound similar to carpal tunnel, but it may be something else, too. If I may suggest seeing a neurologist? It sounds more like a nerve problem to me and it does not necessarily have to be in your hands or wrists. EMG nerve conduction studies on your hands may be negative, but I have done dictations from doctors who have patients with carpal tunnel with false EMGs and the docs call them false positives, meaning the patient actually has carpal tunnel, but the studies were not definitive for that. As the other poster suggested, it may also be neck related. Just get a second opinion from a different doctor, and be insistent on what YOU want checked. Some doctors are resistant to patient requests, so you have to stand up for yourself. good luck.
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When my 17 year old calico passed away a few months ago, I was with her, as well as my 20 y/o son, and it was very hard for us both to watch. My son couldn't stop crying...she was part of his entire life. We still have the 16 year old male with us, Oscar, who misses her very much. They always stayed in close proximity to one another...even though they still gave each other glaring looks at mealtime. He just hangs onto us all the time and it's hard to work because he insist on laying on my desk, in my lap, knocking everything off. He has never done this before. She always laid at my feet and talked to me and he laid up high. It's sad because he can't understand what's happened. She was his long-time partner.
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I would be careful...I am facing court for just this right now, due to old debt that I started accruing, due to being quite desperate and broke, after my bankruptcy was filed. I can file again but probably won't and don't want to, but still have to deal with the courts, this week actually. can't wait. bankruptcy is not the end of the world. you can get a credit card again and you can work on your credit. It stays on your credit report for ten years. how long will it take you to pay off that debt???
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He obviously wanted to be with her and you cannot fault him for that, I guess. It is never easy when someone in the family takes their own lives and those left behind never truly understand why or how that person was feeling inside. It is very hard, and I feel your pain. Cry, let it out, and then take God's hand. He will get you through it somehow. There will be a brighter day. They are together now. Maybe that will help some. God bless you and your family. {{{hugs}}}
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you only have to look into your heart to know what is right and what is wrong. I am not going to argue religion with you. I have my beliefs and you have yours, or disbeliefs in your case, and I am not going to argue with you about who is right and who is wrong. Time will tell that, in the end. and no one said anything about someone coming into your room on your deathbed and preaching to you, personally. It sounds like you are so opposed to it because you may actually be wrong about it more so than you just do not believe. Good luck to you.
My message above should have had SM as there is more
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See message -- going it alone
Think of a younger family member. Well everyone thought I was nuts to take my almost 18 year old nephew with me to San Francisco as I could not do the "night life" but we had a wonderful time. never walked so much in my life. We have always gotten along but he is so easy to travel with and appreciative of it. Went to a Giants game, did the Fisherman's Wharf almost everyday. Got lost. Took wrong buses and it was so nice being with someone that never got upset, enjoyed the little things and went with the flow. We talk about it all the time. I gave him so much money every day which was out budget for meals and "fun things" and he saw how the money went and if we did not spend much for breakfast it left that much more for dinner or something "extra". He had to figure out what the tips were, etc. It was great -- I did not have to handle money at all, left it all up to him. He read the maps and got us around with buses, etc. It was also nice that I did not have to worry about someone drinking too much and ruining the next day which is what my ex did more times than not. Saw everything down there. There is why I am thinking of taking him (now 19) and his 17 year old brother to Boston with me. So think of taking a younger family member that will enjoy it with you if you do want to share some special time with them. There are a lot of great teenagers out there that do like to spend time with adults.
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http://www.sydneyscloset.com/
YES!!! See message
Hey, this happened to us just about a month ago. My hubby needed his ASAP!! I called the Records place in Kansas (where he was born) and they were willing to overnight it to me. Now, the total cost including the certificate was 36 dollars and we didn't get it until after 5 p.m. (could have paid more to get it before noon) on the 2nd day (ordered it on Tues, got here on Thurs), but I ordered it after 4 p.m. too, so you could probably get it faster. good luck!!!
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I don't mean this to sound rude or harsh, but I would tell them to start saving up now for moving expenses in October. If they have the next four months to save, they could probably find another place to live and pay for security deposits and moving transportation, etc. This is not a good financial situation, it sounds like, and I really do not foresee acquiring a loan in time to purchase this home, not to mention them not being able to meet the payments if they do secure a loan. I would tell them to prepare for the inevitable now, so they are burdened with financial problems when the time arises, and it most likely will. To keep them from moving in with you, this would be the best route for all involved. It is not your responsibility to solve their problems. Good luck to you.
No Message
If you look at the end of the subject, before you click on it and it says NM at the end, that means there's no message inside. I hope that helps and didn't confuse you more.
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Have you tried PetShed.com or other out of the country suppliers? I get mine for half the price. I also have several inside cats and this is much cheaper, even with shipping. Same pharmaceutical company making it, same med as in the US, just cheaper, because big pharma aren't buying the other countries.
sorry, there IS a message in there! sm
m
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I too have an old cat, nearly 17. She has moved into my closet and spends time between my closet and my husband's closet. Odd behavior. She mews very loudly all the time and I don't think she sees well. I believe if the cat wanted to go out, I would let him. He might want to die and you "find" him afterwards rather than watch him die. Sorry about your cat. My Sam is not far behind I am afraid.
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I am looking for Tabletops Gallery dinnerware, pattern is Winterland. Kohl's has this dinnerware 80% off, and I love the pattern, but they had no plates. They have cereal bowls, coffee mugs, and serving bowls, and that's all. I'm mainly interested in the dinner plates and salad plates. If anyone knows where I might find this dinnerware, please let me know. I appreciate it very much!!
To different message
Thank you for your reply....this is the kind of input that I was looking for without being bashed in the process....thank you....
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You need to talk to him as wife to husband, leaving the other people out of it. I mean completely, because if you mention them, he will get defensive.
Just talk to him about not being as close to him as you would like. Ask if there is something he would like to talk to you about. Let him talk. (Yes, I know, men are great talkers!). Try being calm. Good luck, because I wouldn't be, but try. Say you would like to make plans to do things as a couple. Say you might like to include other friends, if he would like, but don't mention that other couple. Make it all sound like it is between the two of you and only the two of you. Try to be very loving. If fact, I would go out of my way to show him how much you care about him.
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Can you email me and maybe can discuss a little more on the issues you and I both are having. Thanks!
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How do I do that exactly?
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I understand what you are saying. I am happy that we are all able to enjoy ourselves, but it is a bit hard to see a thread or two that get stuck in between. You can always E-mail MTStars Administration and maybe they will make a separate board for games, or a Gab Board 2, that way everyone will get appropriate response to their threads and still allow a place for fun. 
Moderator
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Our Terms of Service are available at mtstars.com (look to the left).
Also, I would like to make you aware that as Moderators we are able to see IP addresses. I can see that you are the same person who is continuing this argument. You are also the same person who said something extremely crude to the Moderators approximately 2 weeks ago on the Medquist board...a place where you frequently create problems.
Moderator 
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I will address these posts and then the discussion will finish.
1. Yes, we are able to see IP addresses, so we do know exactly who is continuing arguments -- I was referring to the person located in Mt. Laurel, NJ.
2. There is more than 1 Moderator for this site. As far as which Moderator deletes/edits/locks which post, I cannot keep track of this information. If you are following the site TOS, there should be no problem with your post.
Moderator
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You can E-mail the site Administrator and make this suggestion.
Moderator
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The other moderator is correct, there are 4 of us. We are not always aware of what has gone on with threads. From what I can see you did post the msg below, but it was not you who responded with the crude comments. That would be the same poster who WAS continuing the argument on the previous thread.
I do apologize for the accusations, but please understand we err too. We get just as worked up when people start fighting and writing rude remarks.
I am not familiar with previous experiences with you, so I will not comment on those.
I will say, though, that the moderator did explain not to comment on closed threads. There is a reason they get closed, and opening that door back up won't fix anything. Since the moderator explained it and this thread was still started, it's very easy to assume that you are trying to start an argument. If you aren't, that's wonderful. We don't like the fighting anymore than the next person, and we certainly don't like to ban anyone. We would much rather lock or delete posts and give everyone a chance to cool down. If time goes by and one starts posting the same things, we have to assume they are starting fights.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me.
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We are aware of who is causing problems.
Moderator
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I'm very sorry for your health issues, and I'm starting to think you're right about doing it along the way.
My mother, who is 55, has so many health issues it's simply hard to believe some days. BUT, she's been telling me the same thing....I get the mom lecture, saying..you need to take care of yourself. You're running yourself ragged. If you don't start now, you'll end up just like me. I did the same thing you did, and it was always about you kids, but look at me now. You're all grown up, and I have a hard time enjoying my grandkids because I'm doctoring all the time.
Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and I still hardly ever listen to my mother...even though I know I SHOULD:-)
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My mom was the only caretaker of my grandmother. There were two other siblings but they never showed up and when my aunt did show up, she didn't have a clue how to take care of her because she never did. My grandmother was diabetic and over time, deteriorated to bedridden with Alzheimers. Well, since my aunt couldn't ramble with her and act silly "visiting" with relatives, she certainly did not want that day-to-day around the clock care needed. So my mother got power of attorney for all her needs, thereby eliminating any interference from her siblings. They just didn't get it and even though my GM passed away two years ago, they still have some strange resentment towards my mother. She had nothing to bury herself with, so my mother paid for that as well with a little help from me. Her siblings showed up for the burial arrangements as if it were any of their business but never offered a dime to pay for anything. They actually thought my mother had hoarded money from my GM, who by the way, got around $300 a month in SS (rich huh?)and that all went for special meals, medications, and other necessitites that Medicare did not pay for. My mother lives on limited income herself, so no extras. She had absolutely no assets so nothing of material value whatsoever. My uncle's sons told me they wanted to help pay for the burial, since they knew their dad wasn't going to help, but my mom wouldn't accept it. I can't blame her. My aunt had the gall to hand over $40 bucks that HER sister-in-law gave to "help out" but my aunt never offered a dime. Go figure! Long story short, get power of attorney for your father and tend to him yourself. If your sister has a problem with that, too bad. She didn't want the responsibility before and won't have to worry about it now. Sorry this sounds so mean, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
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All kinds of weird things happen when your pregnant. I remember my baby pressing on my ribs and it was hard to breathe. It could be something like that. I'm sure it isn't anything to worry about. Hang in there, not much longer to go. Good luck to you!
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It has already been discussed on numerous occasions that we do not grammar police at MTStars. If this becomes a continuing theme with certain people who post here, I will be left with no option but to ban you from this site for not following TOS.
Here is a link that answers the question a few of you were asking: http://alt-usage-english.org/genitive_and_possessive.html
Moderator
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i haven't checked any of the things that you mentioned. i did do a search on internet and found a website called topix and there were a whole bunch of people in there that own monte carlos and had the exact same problem as me. there were people that had cleaned the sensors that are on their wheels and said that helped. so that's what i'm going to tell my husband to do, clean the sensors. each tire has a sensor and i guess they can get dirty. those sensors are what tell the car if more traction is needed (i'm guessing). i think cars now days have way too much computer stuff on them. i'm not old (only 36), but cars are just so expensive and they're making them to where now if something goes wrong, you have to take it in and put it on a machine to diagnose it. my hubby knows how to work on cars (even though he's an aircraft mechanic - he can still fix stuff on cars), but the computer stuff on cars, just silly.
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Well, I have to say he definitely isn't thoughtless. Matter of fact, it seems he over analysis and thinks things out waaay too much. My daughter just rolls her eyes at it. What we felt for our SIL was not aminosity. We thought a lot of him at first, and felt he always had our daughter's best interest at heart. What we do know to be true, however, is that after the engagement the person we saw changed into someone who became manipulative, overbearing, and controlling. He just manages to do it in a way that seems harmless enough, but there's just something about it that doesn't feel right. Our son saw the same thing and he spent way more time around them than we have. He does come from a family in our community where some believe they are right up there with God, but unfortunately never have had to deal with them one on one. We have asked ourselves the same thing....why has our daughter not seen this. Our son tells us he has seen her chew him out before but never where she thinks anyone can hear. He's waaaay to interested in her girlfriends, as we have come to know, since they have been married. He thinks her girlfriend's problems/situations are his as well,as if he should be involved. We have just overlooked many many things but I have to say, we have done it for our daughter. We have been nothing but pleasant around him but he can be very rude and pompous acting. So if that sounds like we wish we had a different SIL, we just wish we had the one we saw before the marriage. His dad said he can be a little too over zealous about things, which may be the case here, but this just isn't thoughtful at all. Oh well, I guess we'll see tonight.
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I get some yummy recipes from the Kraft recipe website - just Google it for ideas :)
your son see message
Get him out of the house and away from the video games and involve him in some physical activity, anything that will release his energy. Boys like yours especially need this!
same here - see message
Cure = Prozac. Nuff said.
yes, see message...sm
sounds like you may have plantar fasciitis...most common if you walk on hardwood floors barefoot a lot? get some crocks and wear them every time you walk, scrunch up your toes and bend and flex your feet well before you get out of bed in the morning, and if it safe for you, take Aleve twice a day. The crocks are the best for it. I got some of the ones that are made like flip-flops and they worked great. Also on sale this time of year. It can get really bad...so start treating it fast and be consistent!
So did you get some anyway? no message
I hope so!! (just in case you clicked on this anyway)
Okay, here's what I see in your message
"1. I'm not dumb, I went to a University (husband went to state colleges)."
It sounds to me that maybe his brother feels inferior to your DH.
"2. When told he should be prepared if he gets drafted he said "oh no they wouldn't draft me, I work for a prestigious company and I went to a University and if I was drafted I would automatically be an officer, I wouldn't have to do all the other stuff the uneducated ones do." There is no draft anymore. Nobody is automaticaly an officer just because they work for a prestigious company. (Another way the brother sounds quite inferior to your husband).
"3. Why do you live in that state you do? Only bumpkins live there." That's totally ignorant.
"4. Why do you keep moving? Have you done something illegal and are trying to hide? (Weve been at the same address for 2 years." That makes no sense.
"5. You should be happy is "O" gets in, you'll get your welfare check. When DH said what in the world makes you think I don't work, he said "you do"? (I think it's odd that he didn't even ask DH what he does)." He's showing how inferior he feels again. He wants that check himself.
"6. You know your just stup!d because you voted for GW. When DH said to him what makes you think we voted for him? He just said "you didn't? We all thought you voted for him". DH said, no I didn't vote for him, I voted Independent.": Just trying to stir up political trouble.
"7. He made a comment about there might be a bloody war coming in the middle east and then said "Oh I'll bet your really hoping that will happen". DH said well no, why would you say that. Then the little *(&% changes the subject." Might be a bloody war in the middle east? Where's he living? He doesn't know about Iraq and Afghanistan? Shows his ignorance again.
".... but his brother doesn't know anything going on. All he wants to talk about is sports (which DH hates sports) or who the Survivor or American Idol winner is." He lives in a small world, has a small mind, and if I were your husband, I'd forget everything he says. You won't be able to change the brother's attitude. Your husband sounds like a good man and 12 years in the service is not an easy feat. Your husband is the better person, as are you, so don't get upset with the family. Just keep living your life and enjoy yourselves. Don't dwell on pettiness (sp) or ignorance. I think you husband's family is just jealous of you guys and what you've accomplished in your lives and his brother is trying to get your husband down to his level.
Thanks - see message
My kitchen smells wonderful right now - :-)
I was thinking of using the crockpot but instead have a large kettle I'm simmering it in. After I posted the message I read the package and - ding! Low and behold it said simmer 2-1/2 to 3 hours, but like your message think its going to take 4, 5 or even 6 hours.
Thanks for the info about how to tell if its done. That's something I didn't know. So tonight we may be snacking and tomorrow night it will be corned beef with steamed cabbage, carrots, and baby white potatos.
What's done is done - See message
At this point, I would go get it back. If they borrowed it yesterday, they should be done with it. I'm sure you chewed out your hub to where he won't lend it out again, so hopefully you'll get it back in good condition and it will stay safely in your possession from here on.
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Hillshire or other beef or non-fat kielbasa (the meatier the tastier, of course), boil for 5 min., drain greasy water off, let cool, cut into slices. Warm currant jelly at least one jar, depending on # of kielbasas you cook (buy one get one usually requires one jar). Let savor the juices overnight in fridge. Next day, microwave a bit until hot, then add toothpicks and bring to party table. If not using right away, DO NOT do toothpicks, just bring toothpicks along and ask hostess to warm slices in oven and/or then microwave slightly or warm in oven; insert toothpicks for guests. Best-liked every time, can't keep on the plate!!
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What would you do if you found out the man you have been married to for 25 years had made advances years earlier towards your younger sisters? First when they were very young by touching "their boobies" pretending to be horsing around, and then years later when they were young women tried to kiss them and made unwanted advances to the point they had to not be around him? They tried to tell me years ago, but I had to little kids then and chose to not hear their story and chose to believe him because it was easier at the time, but now, years later, I am older and more self-confident and now heard my sister's side of the story and I believe them.
The question is, what do I do with this newfound information.
Any advice???
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I have asked my daughters and there have been no advances from him. Thank goodness.
Thanks - see message
It IS nice to know there are others like us. Oooh, a virtual burning. That gave me a smile. I do feel bad for all the people who think that you must belong to a religious group to have any connection with the creator. I have a connection to all living creatures on the earth and am most at peace when I am alone in the woods talking to the spirits of nature. That is when I feel the most peace and joy. I see beauty in the littlist of things. I have no fear of the afterlife and dying (only that it might be painful) and I embrace new ideas and ways of thinking. Once I was able to let go of what I believe to be "false" teachings that had been instilled in me for over 25 years, my body, mind, and soul filled with peace and for that I am happy. And I am even more happy now because DH has just involved himself in the community and is finally finding a place for himself. Something we've been talking about for months and months (maybe close to a year) but he finally took the first step - (with a lot of pushing on my part) and his attitude has already changed a lot.
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Sara, I don't have any food allergies I'm aware of. I don't drink milk at night though. I do love hot bread though. I can get buy eating a half of a sandwich without being terrible, but not any more than that. We had a cinnamon roll this morning and I'm tired already.
Heart problems ... I don't think so and I've had all those test in the summer and a stress test too. Everything was fine, but I do have two skips in my heart and they don't act like it's anything to worry about. He told me a lot of people have that.
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