Sadly they would probably be better off in the foster care system.
Posted By: nm on 2008-01-04
In Reply to: Britney Spears, can she get any stupider?? - word help
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help, foster care
Would someone please help me with this new situation? I welcome any and all advice. Today, Sunday, my DH and I will be taking in his 16-1/2-month-old great-nephew for an indefinite period of time. DH's niece is a drug addict, supposedly bipolar - and I use that term lightly - an all around horrendous parent. She currently is 29 yrs. old, has 4 kids, oldest is 12 and has lived with niece's mother since she was 5, who recently adopted her. Others are 2-3/4 yrs, 16-1/2 mos and newest is 11 days old. We have always had the two youngest on weekends and whenever, kind of like surrogate grandparents for them. I drew the line at this last one. I don't want the work involved with a newborn anymore. Anyway, 4 kids, 3 fathers, 3 biracial kids, new baby tested positive for marijuana at birth. Just found out 16-month-old did too.
DCFS stepped in on Thursday, 12/27/07, and niece's mother accepted responsibility for all 3 in order to keep them from being sent off to the Chicago area to foster care. This is a good 4 hours from us. The niece, her ex-husband, her current boyfriend and current boyfriend's mother are not allowed to be alone with the kids, nor are they allowed to have the kids at their homes until after a court hearing in 2-4 weeks - no date has been set. This is due to drug history. Police have been watching their house for a while and have determined it is a crack house.
Niece's mom called me for help. I have agreed to take one child. I prefer the 16-month-old since he has some developmental delay due to drugs and neglect. I think we can work with him and see some improvement. She will keep the 2-3/4-year-old and is looking for someone to take the baby.
Do I call DSFS this week and find out what to do legally about this? Do I offer to testify against niece (these kids are horribly neglected)? Do I keep my mouth shut and let it play out? I'm really in a bind here. I want to do what is best for these kids. It is breaking my heart to see them so neglected, but would also kill me if they get sent off somewhere. The two toddlers love their mommy and don't even know other kids don't live like this.
Also, how do I work with a toddler underfoot? I can't afford to put him in day care, as closest would be 25 mile trip and about 100.00 a week I think.
Please respond if you have any experience in this area. Thanks.
foster care
I refuse to get mean and ugly on this board, so will try to explain instead.
We live in a very small rural community. Even though race should not play a part, in this area it does. There are still many narrow minded people, including those in the DHS and the court system. White, drug addicted women who repeatedly live with unemployed, drug addicted or alcoholic black men and have illegimate babies by each one, are looked down on. They live on $600.00 a month plus Medicaid and Food Stamps, sometimes up to 5 or 6 brothers living with them.
Is it right for the babies? No. It is just a fact of life in some places. The reason they would be sent to Chicago is so they would have a chance at a better life, where biracial children are accepted as the norm.
I don't have a problem with the kids. They are like my own. I have been feeding and clothing them, along with a friend of mine who also frequents this board, since the 2-3/4-year-old was born. Do I really want to raise a baby to adulthood. Not really. Only because I don't think I am young enough or healthy enough to give him the life he deserves. I will do the best I possibly can and get every possible assistance I can to help with his developmental delay, but I would rather his mother get her act together and be a parent. That will never happen. She is almost 30 and listens to no one's advice. At any rate, DCFS may persuade the court to keep the kids together and sent them far away. The only thing I can pray for if that happens is that they get a great set of parents and have a wonderful life. It will break my heart, but would be worth it.
The reason I do not want the newborn is two-fold. She tested positive for drugs at birth. I have no idea what problems may come up with that. I definitely don't think I can do the late night, teething thing again on a full time basis. It was hard enough with the other two. I feel badly for not wanting her, but she has many, many more relatives on her father's side, some of which should help. However, I don't know their situations either.
I'm sorry your post sounded so mean spirited. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and tell myself you didn't mean it the way I took it.
They think anybody who is on aid is abusing the system. They resent the system and the people sm
who receive any aid at all. that is very clear.
Have you thought that perhaps she is a foster mom or....sm
has taken in kids of relatives that would be in foster care if she didn't take them in? Depending on the situation for the kids, many foster parents do receive food stamps to cover the cost of food for small children.
As a foster parent I don't receive this in my state as I take in older kids; however, my foster kids have always had Medicaid. Several times I've had people make comments from people at the doctors office waiting room or pharmacy about having Medicaid and yet dressing nicely or driving a SUV, but then I tell them these are foster kids without parents and they back down when they realize that I'm not someone ripping off the system.
Any foster parents out there?
x
Bananas Foster
See link for recipe. You don't have to set it on fire for it to be good! 
No, unless of course the foster kids of choice
include the more difficult ones because a lot more money is paid monthly for them. I knew of a couple who took in only the more difficult kids, a bunch at a time and made a killing off these kids, now well off and retired and enjoying live and want nothing to do with any of them. Never did really. Sad.
Just got a foster dog from a local rescue group
Very sweet, but has a bad cough that's been going on for over a week. I've been asking the rescue group if I can take him in to the vet, but they keep saying no. I don't have a job, so I don't have the money to do it myself (I do have the time). I'm certain the rescue group is concerned about money, but this seems unfair to me and the dog. For all I know he could have any number of things wrong. They are telling me it's a cold, and to just wait until he's better before he goes in to be neutered.
What's the right thing to do? What should I tell the group's organizer?
Suggestions?
Thanks.
To the teacher? Sadly, nothing. To my son: SM
I just told him that sadly some people don't believe in Angels and God, but that we know they are for real. I told him about different things that have happened in our lives that showed us that they were real and told him we should just remember to pray for his teacher at night and to just not talk about it with her at school.
I was really mad at her and practiced in my head what I wanted to say to her, but unfortunately (or fortunately) I never had the guts to confront her about it. I thought I was over it (this happened 8 years ago!), but I'm feeling angry all over again right now. Oh well...let it go Chickadee! :) 
Chickadee
Yes, it is hot in Miami and sadly quite
aaaa
Sadly, what you say is 100% true.
That whole moving because of hubby's job always frosts my arse for some reason. Maybe I'm jealous, I don't know, but I can't ever see myself falling for such a maneuver, no matter how much money it meant. Some things you just can't put a price tag on. Man, I'm a tough old broad.
Sounds like Cedric is in a loving foster home!
Where do you live - that path looks gorgeous!
I don't care about your things, and can't imagine anyone would care about mine.
Whether it's my eating quirks or my sexual preferences, I have no need to divulge that stuff here.
It's NOT that interesting (mine OR yours!) and nobody cares.
Interesting. I have always sad that sadly it is the bible itself
that prompts some people to become atheists because some of it is downright scary.
It has often been said that when it comes to the Bible most devout Christians boldly declare their belief in the "infallible word of God", demanding that every single word be taken literally, without exception.
But when it comes to the awkward verses including the cruel and unusual punishment ordered by God and Jesus, slaying of innocent animals and children, etc., the extreme testing of one's faith, clearly they tend to ignore them or interpret them VERY differently.
Funny, isn't it?
Sadly no edit button.
lol
Sadly, I know the answer without having to look it up - it was the Divinyls.
nm
Yes I do! Sadly, I love my husband
"out of duty" - he is my child's father. BUT I am in love with someone who I "want" to be with. He has been my best friend for 2 years - never had sex but we know everything about eachother and can talk about anything. We talk ALL day long on emails - not mushy stuff - just real talk. And we end them with "in another life" because we just know that it would be the only way for us to be together.
"This country is too far gone..." Sadly, I agree.
Just about every decision that is made by our esteemed lawmakers seems to have a money trail somewhere, and that is so sad. Whoever has the most money, wins. It's also sad that the government is seemingly no longer "by the people, for the people," and our constitution is trodded on day after day. The very freedoms our parents and grandparents fought for in wars are slowly being stripped away. Two words--"Patriot Act." I still can't figure out where the "patriot" part of that whole abomination comes into play.
Sigh...and so we just all keep on doin' the best we can and the world keeps a' turnin.
sadly it doesn't feel at all like Christmas to me...
I mean on the one hand I am so thankful and blessed for all that I have and all that I am able to do, I know this..
Three weeks ago I moved from Nevada to South Carolina to be closer to my 4-month old niece (my sister's husband is stationed at Camp Lejeune) Thanks to MT, I could pick up and go... However we are so far from home and even though I adore my niece (hello i moved to be closer to her!!) It is really not the same without my parents (who are still in California where we grew up) and my older sister who lives in Nevada where I do.
I miss the dinner my dad cooks, I miss just spending time with them, even though I am happy to be in the company I am. if that makes sense. come on I miss the family fights!!!
On the other hand, I did absolutely NO shopping this year, which really puts me in a sour mood as well. I just simply didn't have the money and with the economy getting worse, it just wouldn't be smart to keep adding to my already mile high debt... So that is another reason I am not feeling Christmas this year.
Christmas is normally my favorite time of the year... the lights, the happiness, just the season for being "merry".
I am a happy person and above I said I am blessed. I know these things, but it's a sad Christmas this year. Even though that precious face below makes me light up like never before...
I miss my home and I wish they would move closer :(
That is me being selfish, I know!!!
I am hoping my spirit lifts tomorrow and I'd really like to bake some cookies. My brother in law wants snickerdoodles and I wanted to try those, never have before. any good recipes?
I know things will pick back up. This was a huge move for me, I left all the people I knew and loved and it is definitely an adventure and I'm proud of myself, don't get me wrong. The holidays ALWAYS put you in a certain kind of mood!!! :)
I wish everyone the best and can't wait for the start of a new year!! Merry Christmas
Sadly, though, many ARE that wasteful and spoiled by their luxuries. sm
As MTs, I think we fall into a rather frugal subset of the population, perhaps both because we aren't in the higher income brackets (though, having said that, I'm expecting some s******s to chime in that he/she is making $100K a year and only working part time because her left thumb alone can do 300 lph) and also because, perhaps, we're used to looking at how the little things (like spaces and punctuation and all the minutiae) add up in aggregate.
I have my favorite things on which I splurge, but I can otherwise squeeze a penny with the best of 'em, as I suspect many, if not most, here can, as well.
But, yeah, there are people who hire others to do even their most routine tasks and chores, or who run the A/C in summer with open windows, or drive the Hummer the 1/2 block to the 7-11....
On vacation I had Bananas Foster french toast. Breakfast buzz! nm
nm
Sadly, it seems that simple kind gestures in life
are no longer taken for that - they are either considered some evil, twisted, perverted gesture or go unnoticed because of the society we have become.
So little is done face-to-face anymore with all the modern technology we now have - and, as great as it can be, a lot has been lost along the way. I can't keep thinking had we not progressed so rapidly and so far would common courtesy of others be so far removed from us as it is now....
NOW - if you sent an email card I bet you'd get a response! LOL (my cynical sense of humor!)
Bless you - I would love to get a card like that from a neighbor who was being complementary! Dn't stop - someone, somewhere will figure it out and say "thank you" or "how are you doing today" - all the good guys can't be gone or in hiding!
Sadly, I work because I'm a workaholic..too many years of being a single parent..
Most days it helps keep my sanity, and quite honestly, I do have older children from another that I choose to help put through college and pay their bills until they are out of school. That is something I contribute. My husband pays for everything else and we do like cruises..and just traveling. We have a place in Hawaii and Las Vegas is one of our favorite places to go..and even then, I take my computer along and work. Nothing better than working away from home, change of scenery. My husband hasnt "worked" in probably 20 years..he owns commercial property and manages that which there is not a lot to do with. His sister and he own the property and she does the bookkeeping part leaving him with not a lot to do..but I keep him busy  . It is hard because he has always traveled and likes to go all the time..whereas I like working..The property is up for sale so I guess if it sells then I might retire..maybe..I'd probably go nuts sitting around, and even when I'm on vacation..I freak out if I am not working.. Yeah.. it's an addiction..bad.. I wonder if anyone else in this biz has the same problem. I've always worked 2-4 jobs..but the obsession has gotten worse when I started working at home..Anyone else not being able to relax and smell the roses???
Wii system sm
I am so happy. Live in NE. My DIL inquired of a small local game store in a small mall when they would be in, they told her Tues. and to be there when they opened. She appeared and no one else was there, called me and said she was leaving as the shipment had not arrived and she waited alone for an hour. I told her to shop around in the little mall and keep looking for the brown UPS truck. She did and when the truck appeared at the small game store, she went over and acquired 1 of only 3 shipped. Another lady showed up, called her sister and they got the only 3 that the company shipped. This is how they are getting people, they' re limiting the shipments. At least this little store told her what day they come in, although only 3 arrived.
I asked at a Target down the street when Wii's would be in and they were very rude, "We get them, when we get them, don't know, Maa'm, you just have to keep coming in."
Motto of my story: Smaller is better. So happy, perhaps you can try the smaller game shops who will tell you when they're coming in. Since so many are looking, thought I would share our success story. The kids will have the Wii as well as the guitar that goes with it, thanks to the little guy store. I know Christmas is not only about the gifts, but I'm happy we got something the kids really wanted this year as they both take guitar lessons. Happy MIL
the system
In my opinion, I would not bother talking to any doctors or the school. The very, very last thing your son needs is for you to think something is wrong with him enough to drug him, maybe even for life.
There is one other resource:
Goertzel, V., Goertzel, M.G., Goertzel, T.G. & Hansen, A.M.W. (2004). Cradles of eminence: Childhoods of more than seven hundred famous men and women, 2nd edition. Scottsdale: Great Potential Press.
Based on this book of extraordinary and brilliant people, a happy childhood and a good mom don't make you successful. It is just the opposite. Look at any president, including the current one...not a happy childhood, but there they are busting their butts. We want our kids to bust their butts too, but it does not seem to work that way.
Read the book anyway and at least you will know that it is not your fault.
Our school system already has a
dress code in place, no belly shirts, shorts and jeans have to be a certain length, no huge baggy jeans on boys, etc. I know for a fact this is being in enforced in most of the schools becuase not only do I transcribe, I also substitute. My niece's parents were called over shorts that were to short. My son also had to change into his gym shirt because he was wearing a (green) T-shirt from Octoberfest with a beer mug (in all white) on it. That was my fault, I stupidly did not think anything of it but would not have let him wear it had I realized what it was advertising. My kids and so many other do follow the rules. I don't think they should be penalized for the few that don't. We live in a small town so we don't have many of the same problems that bigger cities have. At the first of 3 forums the other night, the auditorium was packed and not a single person spoke in favor of this. I would like to know how this will improve our education system.
I have a point system...
My kids love to come to Wal-Mart with me on the weekend and so if they get X amount of points for the week they get to come to Wal-Mart and get a little goodie. If they get X amount of points above that, they get two little goodies. For letting me work in peace I give two points, versus the one they get for everything else, so that acts as an incentive to keep out of my office. If they come in while I'm working they lose two points. This has worked pretty well thus far. For your kids the incentive might be a different kind of treat, but try it and see how it works for you!
Mainly because I am fed up with the school system here. sm
He is in the 1st grade for his second time now and still very far behind in my opinion. Teachers last year felt he needed held back and I agreed, but it is just no better this year so I just pulled him out. At this point, I hope I can get him caught up! I have priced cirriculums, but really need to wait until after the first of the year to purchase with the holidays right now so I wanted something to get him going in the meantime. He has dyslexia and ADHD and the public school setting is just not a great learning environment for him. He needs more one on one attention and help than he is getting at school with 30+ kids per teacher.
I also found this site. Any opinions on if you think it is worth joining? I think it is $19.95/mo.
http://www.time4learning.com/aboutUs.htm
Yes, that's what's wrong with the system
That's exactly my point. It's wrong on any level. It was obviously an unfortunate accident that no one should benefit from. If you daughter needs counseling to overcome this, then by all means take her and ask the dog owner to pay your copay. I think it was very reasonable that the dog owner offered to pay your copay from the hospital bill. You want revenge, not compensation.
Something about this story doesn't make sense. Your daughter comes running home dripping with blood and they had to pull the dog off her hand, but yet nothing was done with the dog. The dog's owners are so unreasonable and yet they're offering to pay your out-of-pocket expense. Your daughter is completely traumatized by all of this, and all you can think about is getting an attorney to sue for her pain and suffering. Again, call what it is.
Probably because our judicial system keeps
.
I do believe it is the same storm system s/m
Not sure when it turns to ice though. If I remember from the radar last night, looked like southwest to northwest Ohio is going to get hit with this too. Not sure about Sunday's storm yet. I tried to pull up the radar, but it isn't showing for tomorrow yet.
My daughter is supposed to be driving up from Dayton tomorrow and going back on Sunday, but I warned her not to. She just might have to stay!
Have you used a tooth whitening system?
Like Crest Whitestrips or something else? Anything other than having the dentist do it? (That's so expensive!)
Yes - Rembrandt Whitening System. sm
It works beautifully. I am a smoker, unfortunately, and my teeth are actually white, no stains, and you could never tell I smoke. At least, that's what many people have said.
It is a gel system with a mouth piece. I love it. Cheaper than Zoom in the dentist office.
As a product of the USA school system, yes I have.
Nothing more than daycare in my opinion. We should be looking at how other countries run things as far as the education system. Why is there no school in summer anyway? Wasn't the original reason so that kids could be with their families to work the harvest? School should be year 'round and the kids should come out of it SMART.
Product of USA school system.....
Both my children are a product of the USA school system and they both graduated with top honors, high SAT scores, got scholarships for college. It's what you put into it. If students don't make the effort, or parents, what do they expect the results will be?
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Your state has a kickin' cam system!
I just spent about 15 minutes at this site: http://www.wsdot.wa.gov/traffic/default.aspx
lookin' at all the cameras and the different weather situations! Wow--that's incredible the HUGE differences in weather! "The man" has cameras EVERYWHERE--and that's just the ones we can see on the internet!
Sounds like the legal system
is trying to leave the discipline to the boy's parent. Is that so bad?
I did the "point" system several months
ago that I had done a long time ago and it does work. I lost 18 pounds in 3 weeks. Just stick with it.
I have a filtered water system on
my fridge. It tastes better than any bottled water I have bought, it is free, and I don't have to worry about the plastic bottles to throw away or recycle.
I once saw a thing on TV that said that bottled water is no healthier for you than tap water. You might look into a Brita pitcher or something. I think it would be cheaper than constantly buying bottled water.
I tried a system restore too, but wouldn't work.
I've had a lot of problems, even problems just getting used to the new set up. My Quick Look constantly freezes up on me too. It's very frustrating.
She needs to find out more about the system, and just how lucky she is. She is a misgruntled sm
middle classed woman, resenting any hands up those below her get. She needs to count her blessings. If she is not eligible for food stamps, then she is way ahead of the game.
Aquasana shower filter system
Does anyone have this? It sounds great and I'm thinking about getting it. Curious if anyone uses this or something similar. tia
http://www.drwhitaker.com/order/aquasanaLP_expr.asp?promo_code=K6D03001&alias_code=91215L&cookie%5Ftest=1
they have some system now that they can sign up for to track who views sm
their myspace. not sure how it works because i didn't sign up for it, but i see it posted all the time. i view my daughter's friends sites all the time. noone has said anything to me yet about it, but i do communicate with a lot of them on there as they are friends and any friends of my children are friends with me as well. they know i wouldn't going ratting off on them unless it was something majorly in the wrong.
You can't force someone to learn so that they leave the system
io
,,,use your support system, and find a lawyer who
s
The court system is a rotational door
There was enough evidence. Even the mother who got the children back had her own father testifying she did drugs, lousy mother, on and on. I am so glad I don’t have to put up with that crap anymore. This is where the welfare $$$ went, to a person who did not have enough get up and go to see the kids off to school in the morning. What a waste but lawdy, lawdy, make sure these mothers get those kids back. Glad I am not involved in the court system anymore.
Our school has an excellent system in place - sm
Every year we fill out a million forms that have to be turned in on the first and second days of schools or they get grades knocked down----they then call and email you when they have anything going on. When they first implimented it last year I got 5 phone calls (have 2 kids in school). They worked out the bugs and now I get one call and one email. It is all automated and works quite well. I also work PT for the school so they they know my face and name so that helps too. The school policy is not to let any elementary or primary school child off the bus unless a parent is there. If the driver does not see anyone the kid goes back to the school. Parents get upset with it too, if they are too lazy to come out to the bus stop, then they have to get in their car and drive to the school (not a short jaunt) and pick up their kid. Very safety conscious here. (or lawsuit fearful!)
I wouldn't want to. I'm angry that our system is set up so that this innocent man could not b
x
Could be issues with 9-1-1 service and if you have a security system (sm)
I think most home security systems require a land line to work. There are some possible issues with being able to call 9-1-1 without a land line - in case you can't talk and tell them where you are.
sad we have to battle the school system that we pay for, but has she been tested for dyslexia? sm
sounds like a repeat of my daughter who is now in 5th grade and it has been a battle every since. in fact, i posted message on here few months ago regarding her. she also has dyslexia, which is quite common and sounds like your daughter may have too. we had it in our family so i knew she had it given her symptoms. school says they can't test til 3rd grade. hello, who can catch up when they are that far behind? i fought it enough i finally got someone to say, we can test earlier if the parents' request it. so they did and it has helped her tremendously til we moved this year and now she gets a "video" dyslexia class that sux and doesn't help. i am not sure how to continue battling it from this point. at her prior school though she went from failing to A's and B's with dyslexia help and extra time on assignments, verbal reading, etc. with her IEP.
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