Respect or giving up your free will.
Posted By: Yes master on 2006-12-06
In Reply to: If she really loved him, she would bring church to him. She wouldn't go if sm - Me
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
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You're free to pray, but not free to discriminate
It's as simple as that.
and he should respect her the same way
by not giving her a hard time for going to church. It has to work both ways, or marriage simply cannot work at all. What a difficult decision, I hope it works out for them.
With all due respect ...
to you, children *deserve* food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education/instruction and LOVE. Anything else is out of the goodness of their parents' hearts and what the parents can afford. This sense of entitlement is why so many children are growing up spoiled, self-centered and unappreciative.
No respect for new name...
I have a friend who decided several years ago to change his name. His family knows his name (not far from his old as say used to be Michael and wants a shortened version say Mike.) The problem is his family does not honor his wishes to be called his new name and refers to him in the old name. Here recently he had an aunt out of town who died and my friend's brother was getting some flowers to be delivered to the funeral. The friend said be sure and use my name, the other one and the brother would not, saying no everyone knows you by your other name and the friend let that go through. I have told the friend he needs to take a stance on this but how would someone else handle this? His name change took place over 10 years ago and still they do not honor this. Any suggestions?
respect is
x
With respect . . .
Having grown up in a devote Catholic family, and forced to go to Catholic school all my life many, many years ago I have studied many, many religions in my search for Truth. Even as a small, small child, I could not buy the teachings of the Catholic Church. It is an organization bent on interpretation of Christ's teachings, run by men, and a control tool for the public, especially women. The idea that the Catholic Church is the one true church is ridicuous. Again, the key word here is its interpretation. Interpretation is going to be different to different people and different cultures. The Catholic Church was the greatest proponent of reincarnation until the 15th century when St. Augstine thought it afforded mankind too ample a time for salvation. It was a mystical powerful church, but felt that imparting sacred mystical teachings was only for the select few at the top, not their lowly congregations. It plundered and slaughtered thousands of humans to convert them. But then so have many other religions in the name of God. This is the problem with any organized religion. Don't get me wrong, there are many fine Catholics, and many fine people who believe in it. There is but ONE sacred bond that involves onto two sides, you and God. Nothing could be more sacred. You do not need an organization for that. It is a sacred private matter, just you and God. No one else. No one needs to belive or follow an organization, or think that the only way to God is through that organization. That is ridiculous, and a means of control.
Not really about respect for yourself always (sm)
Getting over caring what everyone else thinks about you is a major milestone in life. Wonderfully freeing. I wear shirts that are too tight sometimes because like I said, I can't afford to replace everything at once and am hoping to lose the weight and not need to replace everything. Meanwhile, I do have some things to get dressed up in for those times that I do care how I look. But on a daily basis, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.
Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.
Respect is what I deserve.
NM
With all due respect moderator
I really do not think this is the poster. I have read her posts and she has always been very nice and compassionate. Not that it matters anymore, the poster that was starting arguments went under the handle of Z. I admit I was also nasty as she upset me by calling me a "goof" and kept escalating the discussion which then became a heated argument between the two of us. I apologize for my involvement in that thread and should not have let someone get the better of me over something stupid.
He doesn't respect your
mother, and doesn't believe she will be "mean" to him. Therefore she will end up having to do what he doesn't believe she will do IMO.
We are lucky in that respect
If we lose power it is usually only for a couple hours. My in-laws lose power all the time though and usually for 24 hours or more.
We live on a county line too. Funny less than 2 miles down the road is where 1 county turns around. It is like a straight line the plow draws across the road.
I hope you don't live in Northern Michigan. That is sure to be a mess for your daughter to travel to. I hope she doesn't push it. It can be dangerous out there at a moments notice.
He should have respect for his father and
I did tell him last night that he was the one who made the decision to quit school, not us. We went as far as to walk him to the bus, watch him get on and when he got to school, he would go in one door and out the other. Sometimes he would even slip off the bus during another stop. When we went to court the last time, the judge gave us the option of emancipation after he looked at the records, so we did that. That way, he was responsible for himself and we would not be dragged into court again (it was our 4th time).
As for my DH not working, he states that he could find work if he tried. (He owns a tri-axle and we all know what kind of highway work is out there right now.) If he wants to get another job around here, it would have to be a coal mine or as an over-the-road truck driver being gone for weeks at a time. My gosh, DH will be turning 62 this year. Do I want him to do the above 2 jobs? He was an OTR for 32 years and he's all I have now, so that's not an option..
It's bad enough when he's gone from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. when there is work, so he's no slouch and he has even gone to work when he had the gout so bad he could barely walk, while the son takes off work every time he gets a cold.
I was going to call him this morning (he's laid off right now) and tell him he owes his father an apology, but I think I will let it go for one last time, although DH stated last night he's done with him. I certainly don't want this to get any worse.
I do appreciate life and have respect for animals.
I just don't think they should be shoved in my face.
I agree - there are many children in stores who should be taken outside to be handled. However, people are NOT animals.
Unfortunately, most doglovers cannot appreciate this difference.
Respect your opinion, but should only be last resort.
meow
I respect your opinion, but that beach is SM
very very small. During the week would be no problem, but forget about weekends.
Favorite South Florida beaches for me are 15th beach on South Beach, (but you have to have a great body! :)) and Hollywood Beach. That really is a lovely beach. Kind of cheesy boardwalk, but great beach.
North Fla, St. Augustine beach.
Sanibel Island also have really nice beach, but watch out for sand flies and red tide.
...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
s
Sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you if he can't
s
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.
And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back. You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems. Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.
Think about it. You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit. You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something. What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect. Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life. Maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.
I really lose a lot of respect for the candidates
that talk back to the judges. I know that Simon can be very mean, but it is not like these kids don't know this. I think the singers should bite their tongue and just try to take the comments and try to improve their singing next week.
Yeah, E! is a little outdated in that respect!
Sometimes it cracks me up.
No,. that's not me. My children love and respect me.
and vice versa.
They know that they can come to me with all their problems and we talk about it and we sort them out together. They know exactly that there are boundaries. I would never forsake my children, never! And neither would they, because I set the example.
...You do for one another out of love and respect, not because you feel you "should"
s
I agree, they should receive more respect from students
and parents alike. I just don't believe they are underpaid for the actual hours they put in.
Agree. He's a pig and has totally no respect for you. Move on. nm
s
Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult
Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.
You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.
I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.
Stand strong, sista!
Respect is earned, not demanded, and certainly not an entitlement. nm
f
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
The purebred was a rescue. The others are half-husky. I respect
several books on wolves. They're not "pets" like most people have, she has a sanctuary.
Deeni, I respect your opinion, but I held both my sons during circumcision......sm
my dirtly little secret, I used to be an LPN and CMA, used to surgical technology. It takes seconds, and while I had silent tears and I worried and fretted, but they were fine, and Nola is not misinformed here, being in clinical practice for years, and working for general surgeons, I saw many men, some in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, who had infection after infection because they could not retract the foreskin the right way, phimosis is painful and can become precancerous, and yes, we had some gentlemen with penile cancer. As I said, I was able to snuggle and nurse my baby boys both times right after circumcision, no problems. Men's anatomy is so different (!!!!) from female's (duh), so you cannot compare the unsterile, crude labial circimcisions done in third world countries with what is done in hospital for our baby boys. Anatomy just dictates this. I was so glad when my daughter was born, it was not even anything to worry about!
Both! JK, actually considering giving up
coffee and wondering if Morning Thunder has caffeine or not. I love my coffee, though. Don't know if I can do it.
Giving
Two years working as a missionary overseas has taught me that material things are really not important. Do not hold onto things with such a tight fist. I guess after see children begging in the street for food daily kind of changes your perspective. Oh and then the women who washed her clothes on a rock made me vow to never complain about washing clothes in a machine.
Forgive your husband. His giving nature is more important that a rolling pin. A fire, like those in Califronia, or other natural disaster can cause you to lose all of these things. Things really do not matter anyway do they?
Have a nice Thanksgiving, and be thankful you can afford food to use a rolling a pin on. So many people in the world cannot.
giving up the
The older I got the more I got these symptoms from too many dairy products. Once I cut back the bloating went away. I think the sitting just makes it more noticeable because you cannot get away from the smell! (hope that is not too graphic:)
holiday giving
What you are doing is a wonderful thing and I understand your hurt feelings. Perhaps next year you could channel your energy into giving where it would DEFINITELY be appreciated. Regardless of whether or not you support the war in Iraq, there are many of our troops there who would love to receive a card or care package for the holidays. There are plenty of needy children here in our country who could use a card or gift for the holidays. Why not give where it is wanted and needed? Your church can give you the name of a needy family for you to help at the holidays. You have many options to chose from. Pick something that will make it feel good on both the recipient and the givers side??
Have you tried giving some fluids?
I have a shih tzu with diabetes. When is sick he will get close or under my knees. Listen to him he's trying to say I'm sick. Try feeding him some rice with a little chicken in it, something bland or even canned pumpkin, not the pie filling. Good source of fiber in both diarrhea and constipation for dogs and humans. When mine was sick the other day I got a syringe and would give him grape flavored ProPel water by gatorade, about 1 oz at a time every hour or so and then sooner as long as he kept it down. Just enough to keep from getting to dehydrated. Dogs can go down really fast when dehydrated yet some vets say they can go awhile without food/water. Not if already dehydrated though. I would recommend going on petpeoplesplace.com forum you can get some good advice with people with same breed or problems. They also make something called Rescue Remedy for anxious/nervous dogs you might check into.
I am glad everyone is giving their sm
opinion. I value that. I told in the past to work with us. If it is a specific thing, like a late movie, concert etc we can be very flexible, but to just hang out at someone's house or ride around town it is not necessry to be out past 1 a.m. Her 21 year-old sister agrees with me which is surprising. Her friends don't have curfews, but they also did not get into college either. I told her she can bring anyone home. She told me these are not the kind of people you bring home. Last night I caved in and told her 2 a.m. She did come at that time but I kept waking up untl then. I got up at 7 a.m and it is now 9 a.m and she is still sleeping. I have to admit at19 I did not have a curfew but I was always home by 1 am because I know my parents expected us to be respectful. THANKS AGAIN.
I never knew they had that! Thanks for giving
me JUST ONE MORE snack to try!!! LOL. 
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
Received none, but instead of giving one (sm)
which I planned on doing, after seeing something on the news about them, I just decided to give cold, hard cash (no complaints, btw). Anyhow, the news story said that stores profit greatly from them since people lose or forget about them, or buy more than the value of the gift card. So, I decided to just buy 50 one-dollar bills for my son's GF for a better effect LOL.
And that is precisely why they are giving it to
They are trying to stimulate the economy. They WANT people to spend it. They don't want you to put in in the bank. That's why they are not giving it to people who have money.
Re handing out money to people who don't file... that is incorrect. They do file. They just fall below the income amount to pay taxes.
I would prefer to be in a tax bracket that gives me less of this handout than one that gives me more.
Anyone giving up anything for Lent??
I'm going to be brave and say no to candy for the next 40 days!
Gift Giving
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with.
In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about "gifts". We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other.
In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow.
Good luck to you!
Giving birth at 70?
A 70-year-old woman from India claims she has become the world's oldest new mother.
Rajo Devi and her husband Bala Ram had wanted a child in all their 50 years together.
She claims to have given birth to a baby girl at the end of November after having IVF treatment. Her husband is 72.
OK, I'm giving it a try again, except for the shoes.
I cleaned my sink last night and will keep that clean. Got up this a.m. and got dressed and ready for the day, which does indeed make a difference in my attitude. The only thing I won't do is wear my shoes in the house. This is something I've never done. It's not a cultural thing, it's must a me-thing. I'm always in socks in the house and keep my Crocs by the door for quick trips outside to mailbox or garden. The only time I wear shoes is when I'm out and about. This is something I've done all my life, and it just feels very weird for me to have shoes on in the house.
I would think 15 is good if you're giving her something else with it.
However, $90 for cut and color is inexpensive? I live in a pretty expensive area and basic color generally runs around $35 to $40 and cuts are not always $50+. I'd say she is expensive but if she is good probably worth it.
what are you giving your child's teacher
I was thinking some sort of gift card...I'm sure she is overloaded with trinkets and Christmas ornaments, etc. Any creative suggestions? 
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
Fox still has not announced if they are giving any money....sm
to the cause. Notice that they keep wanting people to donate, mentioned corporate sponsors but not once have mentioned any contributions they will make. They also have no mention of this on their website.
Good for you for giving it your best shot.
 You obviously found something that attracted you to the man since you are with him. Any and all relationships require work. We are each different individuals, and in order to live together, need to find the balance that makes each happy.
Stealing then giving to charity?
Used the stolen money to make donations to churches?!? Who does she think she is - Robin Hood? Or was she thinking on judgement day she could say "Yeah, I did some stealing, but I gave some of it to God, so its all good"?!
Is giving grandparents a scrapbook
I think it would be, but decided to get opinions. Thank you in advance.
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