Remember Me? Caught Between Pride and Panic?
Posted By: NYMT on 2009-03-23
In Reply to:
Well, my daughter has been accepted at her #1 college choice, and we're going to the Accepted Students day this weekend.
In her Creative Writing class in school, they were assigned the task of summing up their Senior year in six words and then to illustrate it. What she came up with blew her father and me away! I hope those of you who have had children leave home will get an inkling of the emotional impact this had on us. Suffice it to say, there was not a dry eye in the house! See below.
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Caught between pride and terror
I became a mother in 1970 and have been actively mothering non-stop ever since. Now my baby daughter (who is actually 17 and a senior) has received acceptance from two of the four colleges she applied at, with the other still undecided, and it finally became real - - - She's actually going to leave! She is not only my youngest but my only daughter and she and I have been inseparable all her life. I can't begin to imagine not knowing every facet of her life, down to where in her messy room I can find a particular item of clothing! My oldest son is 38 and long since married and I only see him every few months. I guess I'd see him more if he had kids but unfortunately it's not in the cards for him and his wife.
I think I'm kind of going into mourning, thinking of not having her here. I'm so proud of her, and thrilled that she knows what she wants to do - study anthropology and travel the world and make a name for herself. If anyone can do it, she can! And I'll continue to live vicariously through her somewhat, but I know it won't be the same. The idea of having to do the "well, how have you been - - - good, good, how are you - - - what have you been up to - -" stuff that I do with my son terrifies me. Is is possible to maintain a really close relationship with a grown child even over time and distance? I mean really close? We're taking a trip to Canada for her graduation gift, just her and me, and I'm afraid I'm going to be crying the whole time!
Thanks for listening.
Don't panic.
How is it invested? All 401K's have various investment options. Is some or all of it in stocks? In guaranteed income funds? In a money market? You should NOT take it out of the 401K. The 401K is just a basket that holds investments, and you are penalized heavily if you take it out of the 401K before retirement age. You can move around your investments within the 401K, though, which may or may not be a good idea. I would tend to hang tight for now.
Panic Attacks
I have had panic attacks since I was 38 and am now going to be 55. It started with a lot of stress in my life.. work, my sister committed suicide. I went like this for about 8 months before anyone would listen to me. I bought self-help books and i KNEW i had a panic disorder. Went to several therapists, psychiatrists. They wouldn't listen to me.. They asked me a million questions. Finally a friend at work suggested her Internal Medicine physician. I walked in to his office, told him I have a panic disorder. He said you don't look nervous. I said I am having a panic attack as we are3 speaking. I would have 4-5 panic attacks a day every day. I told him I had seen therapists, psychiatrists, etc. He said are you going to keep seeing the psychiatrist. I said NO.. because the first one i went to said " So tell me about your crazy family". That was it for me. I was shocked. So the Internal Medicine doctor put me on medication and my whole life changed.. I felt so much better, was able to cope, etc. Medicine is not for everyone but my panic attacks had blown so out of proportion that I finally became depressed because I could not function even though I went to work every day and many days having to leave work. I am still on medicine and feel great. The Internal Medicien doctor helped me more than the others. He listened to me and said " okay we are going to get you the right medicine and he told me that I needed to be patient. I have changed medicines now with the new one of Paxil and I am sooo much better. I am thankful for the day I walked into his office.
How about the feeling of panic as you
are about to turn left across traffic and get on an on ramp? I always suddenly panic and wonder if I'm about to meet traffic coming off because I'm trying to go up an off ramp.
A panic attack
can present as a heart attack, with the same initial symptoms of shortness of breath, chest pain, clammy and sweaty, irregular or rapid heart rate, etc. The first thing done at the hospital would be stat blood work and an EKG. Depending upon what these showed, then an MRI with or without contrast would be done. A mandatory 24 hour stay is required for all chest pain admissions. I've been working in a cardiopulmonary dept. as a respiratory care practitioner for 6 years and have seen this many many times. So if it makes you feel any better, he could be telling the truth about this.
And Kim has a panic disorder and is agoraphobic.
It's no secret she has a bunch of mental disoders. As I said, the poor kid. Can't win.
I would have hit that panic button if she said pregnant!
This is exactly what is happening all over the states, people in a panic, not me - I told her just to check with her physician next week. If it is not a mysterious box or package being found and a panic about that, it is this or something else, all the time. I was actually relieved to hear what she said!
Before you push the panic button sm
This is a recession, quite possibly the mother of all recessions. It may turn into a depression, but it will run a very distant second to the Great Depression, IF it does.
Pre the GP (Great Depression) you several things going on that are NOT true today. We had come out of WWI not that long before. It had been a very bloody war, the first war with mechanized destruction. What the Doughboys witnessed was for them what we saw on 09/11...unimaginable death and destruction. It changed how they viewed America.
When these boys came home from the war, they came back to the farm, by and large. We were an agrarian country and with the exception of east coast, there were hardly any factory jobs and most people worked the land. Plenty of places all over the country people worked on "shares" and they were not all in the deep south and they were not all black. There was not nearly the land/home ownership that there is today. Most of these dirt farmers lived in poverty and barely scraped by enough to eat twice a day. When the great Dust Bowl came through Oklahoma, it took the enormous clouds of dust eastward and dumped it into the Atlantic Ocean. This was a man-made disaster and the story of the Joads in the Grapes of Wrath centers on the Dust Bowl and the farming habits of families, like the Joads caused them problems. It was their fault that the top soil blew across FDR's desk in the Oval Office.
There was no infrastructure to speak of, in those days. There were roadways, but not the spider web of paved roads there are today. Goods were carried on the rails, not over the roads. You didn't have Walmart or Kroger. You had the store "in town" and the Sears-Roebuck catalog. If you couldn't find it there or could not afford it you either cobbled something together or did without. You can look the Coal Miner's Daughter about being so low-down dirt poor it is unbelievable. That movie is quite cleaned up and Hollywood presentable. You could look at the sparse surroundings of the ranch house in Broke Back Mountain where Ennis goes after Jack dies, and while the time frame is more modern, the very plain, only the very basics of life appear in that ranch house. They are both a bit sanitized, but reasonably realistic.
Today, Americans live extraordinarily different lives than we did 80 years ago. Most people have a vehicle. Most people have more than a dirt floor shack to live in. We, have thanks to the Great Depression and FDR's recovery plan, electricity, roads, water, sewage and other sanitation. We take these things for granted, but we should not. The GP did bring some food shortages, not because of the depression, but because of the lack of infrastructure combined with people on the move to find work to subsist. The food shortages you are thinking of came with WWII and rationing...another problem secondary to lack of infrastructure and subsistence farming where there was not enough food produced to meet the need.
If you are going to stock up on food, let be for more common sense reasons. If you put your money in the bank, you will make 2% or 3% return on $500. If you put that same amount into nonperishable food (think canned goods), you make a better return on an investment. You don't earn 2% or 3%, but you can end up leveraging against future price increases that will meet and exceed what interest you make from a bank, which is nothing right now. You will need food whether you buy it now or buy it later. Squirreling away extra under the bed or whatever place you can find room, is a wise investment...financially and in peace of mind.
Right, but dont panic. Thousands die from flu every
nm
Daughter called, said don’t panic but you know that TB case?
Daughter and husband divorved last year and the guy from Atlanta being treated was the SIL divorce lawyer in October of last year. As she met this guy she was telling me this morning no really close contact (being in a room is close enough for me though), no outward signs of illness on his part. I did not freak, rather told her to call her doctor. My former SIL has sickle cell disease and he is in the hospital with a flare as we speak. SIL recognized the guy on television, told the personnel at the hospital and now, you guessed it, he is in quarantine. It is really a small world, isnt it?
I would say that you have every reason to have panic attacks what with all the stress you've SM
been under. I take Effexor XR for my painic attacks and atenolol to help control my BP and it keeps my heart rate down. The combination works wonderfully, although I wonder if I've become a little too dependent on it as I sometimes get a little anxious at the thought of being without my Effexor.
I would have periodic episodes of anxiousness going all the way back to my teenage years, but I would always work through it myself. Then a year ago, in the midst of marital trouble and feeling alone as I lived two states away from friends and family, I started having what I now know to be gallbladder pain while I was at work. In my mind, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, the pain was in my right rib cage and radiated around to my right scapula. But I couldn't seem to convince my body. My heart started racing, my mind was racing. I felt dizzy and short of breath. I went to the employee health nurse who took my BP and it was sky high. She immediately rushed me to the ER which freaked me out even further.
Long story short, I was having a full blown panic attack and I hope that I never experience anything like that again. I ended up crying for three weeks straight, was afraid be left alone, was afraid to leave my house, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, would pace the house with my heart racing, not able to calm myself down.
I saw three different doctors before I found a female doctor who listened to me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because her daughter had panick attacks too. She started me on Effexor and set me up with a therapist who taught me breathing techniques and meditation techniques to help calm myself when I feel anxious. One technique, as simple as it sounds, is something I practice almost daily which is deep breathing: in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you exhale allow your body to relax starting from the shoulders down. It seems silly, but it really works. I noticed that I clenched my jaw a lot and so that is were I focus my mind when I'm trying to relax. I focus on the tension in my jaw and start relaxing from there down.
Exercise is another great technique for relieving anxiety and stress. All the experts say that, and it's true. Just getting outside and walking can clear the mind.
Well, I've rambled on and on. Sorry about that. Let me just add one more thing, if you decide to try medication, my advice would be to be patient. Sometimes it takes a few different trials of medication before you find the one that fits. My doctor explained to me that panick attacks are caused by an overactive fight or flight response in the brain and so SSRI antidepressants like Zoloft or Celexa won't do the trick. You have to have a NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to calm the response.
I'm not saying you need medicine, but I am saying that you may want to get a handle on it now so you don't have to go through what I did. I can't even explain how horrible it feels to have your mind spinning of control. I felt like I was genuinely losing my mind.
Well, anyway I feel for you and I wish you well.
Be careful if you have a tendency to anxiety/panic. Wellbutrin
people who suffer with anxiety/panic.
don't remember Minnie, but I remember Kiki! Though I would rather not.
nm
Caught in the act sm
Sounds like a really selfish person to me. Don't let it get to you, I can't imagine living with someone who would do this with a busy household at that time of day and in what I think was personally degrading to you. Where are his family values anyway and his pride, never mind yours! Don't accept being talked down to or treated as "less than." Perhaps you had no place else to go, so you vented to us, at least you got some support. Sounds sick to me.Yours sounds like a normal reaction to a very distasteful situation.
I had a cat who once caught a bird...
in mid air. I saw it with my own eyes or never would have believed it.
Caught the rhyme!!! LOL...nm
s
If they get caught, off goes their water!
Have my shutters open this morning and I see my next door neighbor starting to water her lawn. We are in a drought really bad here and the water is being rationed, so to speak. No one waters on Sunday (and Sunday as I write) and we have an odd, even day system when we do water through the week. Atlanta, which is close by, has gone to a 1 day a week watering system. Some places in my state have turned off water to people caught abusing this. I remember in the 80s we had such a drought our showers were limited to 5 minutes. I would hope it does not get that bad again.
i got caught in the middle
of a redneck area. needless to say, I fled the area and the boyfriend. too much for me. I'm a yankee, and so is he, but he was use to the so called rednecks. I do love the more cosmo parts of south. Can't help it!!
Right?! I once caught a fish so big...(sm)
that I wanted to run back to the house to get the camera or at the very least an eye witness, but was all by myself. This fish I caught, it was a carp, which is a basically a goldfish on steroids. This thing was as big as a 5-gallon water bottle--no word of a lie. It actually broke my fishing rod.
So there I was, down below the highway with my huge catch, and I had no way to contain the thing and didn't want to kill it by taking it for a walk with me. So, I did what any insane person would do. I unhooked my bra, took off the bra, strung the straps through the mouth, out the gills, and attached this "tethered" but quite safe carp to a sapling that dipped into the river.
Mind you, this all took place in the CITY (I so totally don't belong in city) and I had to scramble up an embankment and cross a 2-lane highway, while holding down my flapping boobies, to get back to the condo to get my eyewitness.
My husband was home and he got to witness the whole spectacle. No camera though...all I have are my memories, which I am told are degrading, as my fish gets bigger and bigger every time I tell the story.
Long live us rednecks! 
I only caught a bit of the interview, but - sm
she looked almost like she was on drugs... She was very stone faced and did not seem to show any emotion. I do not know, just take the baby and leave seems to e a better idea than shooting him... Just my opinion
Ah, caught the peek up there. nm
s
Caught husband looking at wfm ads (sm)
After he had used the computer in the history there was a list of women seeking men ads that he had been going through. I waited a day and then asked him this morning if he was looking for someone else....he said "Ummmmm, not necessarily." I said, "No?" Then he said, "there are none available." I said, "I would hate to think that you would do anything risky." and he said, "I haven't found anyone risky." So I said, "then you are looking?" and he said no, and then started to deny that he was looking, etc. We have been having some marital problems and I am not completely surprised, but was asking him to be honest with me. Anyway...how would you react?
I caught about the last 15 or 20 minutes. Can't hardly
wait until next week. Maybe House and Cuddy will finally get together.
I can understand how you can get caught up in the excitement (sm)
... those exciting feelings of a new love. I'm sure you have had those same exciting feelings about your husband at some point. Life happens and those feelings tend to dull. You need to put your time and energy into reigniting those feelings with your husband. I really like the teachings and concepts of Willard F. Harley, Ph.D. You can check out his web site at www.marriagebuilders.com. There is a lot of information there that can help you. He has written a great book (among others) "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage."
I can understand how you can get caught up in the excitement (sm)
... those exciting feelings of a new love. I'm sure you have had those same exciting feelings about your husband at some point. Life happens and those feelings tend to dull. You need to put your time and energy into reigniting those feelings with your husband. I really like the teachings and concepts of Willard F. Harley, Ph.D. You can check out his web site at www.marriagebuilders.com. There is a lot of information there that can help you. He has written a great book (among others) "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage." Good Luck!
Caught my index finger in the
front door storm door this afternoon. One shriek wasn't enough, so DH had to hear a second one. I iced it and elevated it and still it throbbed. Feels fine after a hydrocodone though, and I can type! I'm glad I'm off today though so I can rest it. Whew, that was close.
Oh, and when I shrieked, DH was sitting at the computer desk. He tried to get up so fast he banged his ankle, so now he's limping.
We're such clutzes.
Glad you caught that quickly and put it out
And that nobody was hurt.
Thanks for the reminder!
They caught the guy from the sex tape!! He admitted who he was!!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071016/ap_on_re_us/sex_tape_suspect
The guy who raped the little 3 year old girl was caught - he got pulled over for something else, confessed who he was and said he was tired of running!!
I caught the blues when trying to eat the red meat
because husband is a health food junkie and I think sometimes he expects the same of me. I love steak but hardly eat-are shrimp bad for someone who has high cholesterol? He eats fish- I don’t care for- fish is fish is fish to me- all taste alike except for the shrimp with the sauce and horse radish in it- yummy! My physician when I mentioned about my cholesterol told me to tell hubs to leave alone- mine was excellent and I could eat most anything. So there, man of the house!!
I see your answer in post below me; so he did not tell you, and he would not have; he got caught
nm
Does your city have a fine if you get caught?
Does your city have a fine if you get caught? I don't know about mine. I don't think there's one, but I could be wrong.
ALBANY, N.Y. -- The New York state Legislature has given final passage to a bill that would charge $250 for pet owners who don't pick up after their dogs in some parts of the state.
Dog owners currently have to pay $100 if they don't pick up the poop. The change would apply to the five boroughs of New York City, Albany and Yonkers.
The Assembly passed the bill Wednesday and the Senate had already passed it.
A spokesman for Gov. David Paterson said the governor will review the measure.
Mine was caught at an older age,
unlike the listing above and we have so much in common. He makes me laugh and a big love, just want to take a little bite of him. Oh, that is the cougar I guess coming out.
You are caught, you assumed and completely wrong!!
I love it, have been a stay at home mother, working mother, everything rolled into 1- I never saw that much trouble with it and I do not really remember hitting the playgrounds to be interviewed for how hard of a life I had. What a joke.
Caught my housekeeper red-handed stealing from me
My household is small, just hubs and myself (with 2 pets). Hubs went out of town to visit his brothers, left early Saturday. I got my housekeeper of say the past 15 years or more to come clean up for me yesterday. Knowing that I was having a doctor's appointment today I had laid out fresh underwear to put on (this is unusual because most times I am without my undergarments but thought I better wear panties today). I put them in my first dresser drawer Saturday night, went and picked her up Sunday, started to lay out all my clothing Sunday evening and my undergarments gone. I am literally ticked beyond belief. I am about to lose a housekeeper- my husband told me for sometime that things were going missing such as things he bought, toilet paper, some forks and spoons, things like that which I normally do not see. If I let her go, I have to do the work myself (she does washing besides housework) but yet I cannot let this pass. Any ideas? I do not think I would be able to get anyone for what I pay her but cannot stand the fact of being stolen from - especially since if she needs something she could ask and I usually get for her. Ideas??
I was a total cougar til my prey caught ME, lol!
My boyfriend is YEARS younger than I am. Started as a one nighter that turned into a 4-day sleepover...I thought he was totally hot but also totally dumb as a pet rock.
Fast forward 2 years...He's sitting on my couch watching the news, and we've been living together 1-1/2 years. He's still totally hot, but not at all dumb as I had initially suspected and, in fact, handles our finances, etc.
Yeah...being a cougar totally rocked, but it turned out even sweeter than I expected when my prey caught ME!!!
Caught him when her husband called my house to ask for her -
My husband introduced me to J. We became good friends. When I was working and could no go places, she and her son would go with my husband and my children. We stayed at each other's houses all the time, went places together (me and her/us and her). I noticed her husband never would do anything with us or hang out, but she said he was just antisocial. Eventually she and her husband moved away because of a transfer and me and my husband separated. Then one day her husband called and asked me to speak to J. Long story short, my husband and her had been seeing each other even before he introduced us to be friends and her husband thought that I was just a front and not really married to my husband but was just a third wheel willing to cover so that they could be together whenever they wanted to hang out...
That Iranian president is a real laugh riot. Caught
xx
Definitely remember Buffy's Bark. Also had a Bassett Hound and remember his bark(EOM)
.
I watch both CSIs, caught a typo on a Vegas episode, they spelled Novolin wrong! LOL. nm
x
My ex did that. What I remember was that it
was horrible in the summer and going under houses was not always the greatest experience. He would find dead animals and of course spiders, mice, rats.
Just remember: He's a MAN, he's not a god. LOL
nm
Don't remember anything, just something SM
that felt like cramp and then I woke up. No damage.
My friend, who is quite tiny, said she was moved around quite a bit, but no damage done.
I feel they were excessively rough with you, but that is just my opinion. Also, it sounds like they did not give you enough sedation. You are supposed to feel very relaxed.
Wow! I can remember when ...
we charged $25 period to type it. Then I got to thinking how long I've been out of school. How depressing.
now remember..sm
Brooke also went to Bridgette to see if she could conceive around the same time Taylor did..so, Bridgette could have taken Brooke's eggs, saved them, and used them on Taylor. Anyway, why in the world would Taylor and Nick trust Brooke's daughter with their future child??? I mean come on, Brooke's throwing herself shamelessly at Nick, yet they go to her daughter for in vitro? Wow...
I don't remember the first one....
I couldn't stand looking at Roxy...*lol* - too much gum show......and I do watch the food channel a lot!!! I used to like Rachael Ray before she got REAL famous and glammed herself out. I so liked her when she lived in upstate NY doing the 30-minute meal show or $40 a Day show. Now I refuse to watch her - her voice is very annoying to me today.
GO_AMY!!! 
I was 8 - Remember seeing it on TV (sm)
I remember it being such a shock because he had just always been there and seemed like he always would be.
Remember then from when I was a kid sm
my dad's company picnics, with horseshoes, bbqs, lots of fun
As we remember.....
I would like to ask everyone, as you remember the 9/11 attacks today, to also remember the bombing of the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995. The 9/11 attacks were far greater in scale and in death toll, and I mourn for those who died and for their families. I also mourn for the 168 people who died in the Oklahoma City bombing. Fewer in number, perhaps, but the lives just as precious. It was so hard for me to watch as rescue workers went through the rubble of the day care and pulled out those tiny bodies...
When we send our soldiers into combat, we train them and give them the best equipment available to defend themselves and destroy the enemy. The people who died on September 11, 2001 and April 19, 1995 were innocent civilians who had their lives ripped away in an instant, by people who had no respect for the sanctity of life and who were too cowardly to take their fight to the battlefield where it belongs.
Never again. We must be vigilant. These events occurred on our own soil. Each of has a duty to keep our eyes and ears open, and to cooperate with the increased security precautions our government has implemented. We are all soldiers in this war.
You THINK you remember until it comes down to it (sm)
When they are actually there in your care you have to remind yourself of exactly what babies can and can't do at certain ages. But maybe you are perfect. If so, I apologize O Great One. It ticks me off when people have smart-axe comments for no apparent reason.
thank you so much, was trying to remember the name of that myself, NM
z
Everyone does not think like you and I you have to remember that.
x
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