Red dress attendant at wedding
Posted By: Snazzie on 2007-08-19
In Reply to:
Just got back from vacation and saw the post about bride not wanting red dressed attendant at wedding. Getting past keeping the book part (some know about it, others do not, some agree, some do not) but I am talking the red thing. First of all, anyone wearing red is usually saying LOOK at me. The bride has every right in asking anyone in the wedding party NOT to wear red. This is her day- NOT anyone elses. It falls under the same thing as no one wearing white to the wedding- that is supposed to be reserved for the bride only. Wearing red would be about the same as wearing sequin dress and I guess also most do not know you should not wear black although I see women doing that also at weddings. I think the problem now days is most do not know manners - I recently saw the most outlandish dress for a funeral, bare arms, bare midriffs, very short skirts, capris and/or bermudas. Any request a bride makes for her wedding for her attendants SHOULD be followed to HER liking, not theirs. Any who disagree with this post really just do not know etiquette but should brush up on theirs - try reading Emily Post to begin with.
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Anyone been to a wedding on the beach in Hawaii? Need help w/ MOB dress.
I have already posted this on another board, but I need all the suggestions I can get, and I appreciate any and all help.
My friend has asked me to help her shop for a mother of the bride dress. She really has no idea what she wants to look for, and she has done no looking on her own. We are going to go shopping not this weekend but next. The bride said for her to just pick out a simple dress. The wedding is mid March, on the beach, and they say the temperature is 70s-80s year round there (I wouldn't have known this myself LOL). I don't know the colors they are using yet, but I'm sure she does by this time.
What kind of style should we look for? MOB is 48 years old, slightly overweight but not terribly so, and relatively conservative. Any suggestions? Thanks! Y'all seem to have great taste.
You need to send a wedding gift if you attend the wedding - sm
If possible you should drop it by the brides or grooms house, etc. so you don't have to take it to the wedding, and so they don't have to worry about transporting the gifts from the church or the reception. You should always send a wedding gift if you attend the wedding though.
This wedding, the wedding party will be releasing butterflies!
Apparently, you can buy live butterflies, individually packaged, that can be released after the ceremony. The bride and groom are 65 and 68 years old, for crying out loud and this is their second marriage. This wedding is the craziest thing I've ever seen!
I've never had a bride offer to pay for the attendant's dresses. nm
s
I meant playing peek-a-boo with the flight attendant..c'mon now.
Just a joke. This kid was too big and she refused a blanket. I have nothing against people breastfeeding infants in public, discreetly. However, for toddlers, I say bottle it, please.
A guest book attendant is not a bridal party member and should
s
Dress
Every year they change the rules in those bride books. At my daughter's wedding, which was semi-formal, but outside (????? is this congruent?????) the mother of the groom wore white! My one pet peeve is that the mothers not wear white too! However she is a tacky woman, so what should I have expected? She was given the color scheme and the bride's mother has first choice, was asked not to wear white or pants, but not only did she wear white, she wore pants! May I add that she looked ridiculous because she chose some hippie-dippie flowing cotton things that would have looked okay at a parade or a yard sale, with huge pantaloon legs and wore flip-flop like sandals. (Pain is still coursing through my body from this faux pas 12 years later). But, having done this before more than once I found that at Nordstrom's they have wonderful salespeople and great dresses and they will bring you things to the dressing room that suit you and your budget just tell them basically what you want and what you want to spend. Stay away from bridal stores, they try to sell you "bridesmaid dresses" and will ooh and ahh over you even if you look like a clown and most of the dresses show too much skin or have ruffles and bows attached in all the wrong spots if you are over 23. I took my daughter whom I trust to know me and what I like as well as what looks best on me. Good luck! Hope your new in-laws are more fun than mine! They are still tacky, but then I rarely see them! 
Red dress or no dress.
Having a guest book attendant is popular in the South and is supposed to be an honour. Here is a website with some info but it does say coordinate color somewhat.
Given the circumstances, if she really felt uncomfortable with what you are wearing, I would keep it pleasant, it is after all her day and you might feel the same way if in her shoes. I myself would just explain to the bride (especially if you were asked to hold this position until the last minute)...
"I am honored that you have asked me to participate in your wedding, but since I was not expecting this, the red dress is the only one that I brought with me and I honestly cannot afford to purchase a new one right now. If you are still uncomfortable with me wearing this however, I would truly understand if you would like to choose someone else for the position."
That will leave the ball in her court. If she wants to offer to buy you one, so be it. The choice is strictly hers.
Wikipedia had some interesting info on the colors. Red for auscpiousness meaning luck or promising, and how white was originally for mourning and blue was the color associated with purity.
It should not matter to her as long as you don't outshine her. If anything guests will be talking "bad" about you not her, and in that case I wouldn't give a flip!
How about help her with a dress? sm
The dresses are extremely expensive and maybe if you could help financially with the dress of her choice, that would make her day the most memorable as well as beautiful pictures. She basically needs to feel like a queen.
You could pay for her to get manicure/pedicure, buy her jewelry, pay for picture setting at a photography studio, or school pics if someone else is not, pay for her to get her hair done or makeup done.
Ultimately, you cannot control the eating that day and activities unless you teamed up with her date and coordinated that with him to make sure he could afford a really nice place or pay for it for them.
I would suggest you going down and setting up a time before their prom activities to take some really good photos of them, play ones, serious ones, etc depending on their relationship. Just went through 2 proms recently with my DD and our pics we got are way better than any of the school pics. Sending them to Walmart to be printed as soon as I figure out what I want! Their pic packages are really reasonable. You could even put together a photo album of pics for her for later of her special day. Email me if you like, we have some adorable pics of my DD.
Bridesmaid dress
My cousin is getting married in a few months and is in the process of picking out her bridesmaid dresses. Her dress has cranberry trim on it, so she wants our dresses to be that color and she also wants them to be long. I went to the boutique with her and she showed me her top three choices.
1. floor length satin, strapless with a straight skirt.
2. floor length chiffon and satin with spaghetti straps, also with a straight skirt.
3. tea dress (mid calf) satin with a butterfly beading design, netting under the skirt, bow tie spaghetti straps.
If you were the bride, which dress would you pick for the bridesmaids?
Really, what do they dress like, the Amish?
Or wear a burqa/burka? LOL
Complete with red dress...
Weddings have become such shows...it's ridiculous! I've been to 2 weddings in 2 weeks, neither one too showy, but just money spent on silly little things (no programs!) like bubbles to blow at the bride and groom, which no one was left by the time they left...candies with their names on them, etc. Boy, can't wait til my DD gets married! 
I'm drunk enough now to tell you that you may have my dress,
but you will never have my hat!!!!!
He didn't see me in it, but he saw my MOM in the dress.
I wore my mother's dress, and her wedding pictures were displayed in our house. So he saw the dress before we were married. I don't think that counts. :)
Deep Purple Dress
Bridesmaid dresses in a deep purple. Not sure if I should go for metallics- gold or silver or stick with black? The wedding is in the afternoon in church and a reception at a golf course. What do you think?
Dress code for students?
Our school system is looking at implementing a strict dress code for all students...khaki pants and solid colored collard shirts (basically a polo shirt) but no brand-names are allowed. My children hate the idea..ages 14 and 16. Any opinion on this?
Your dress code is not being followed apparently,
because you yourself state your neice wore shorts too short and your son had to change his shirt. If your school had uniforms, these would not happen. Any disruption, such as having to pull this child or that child out for breaking the dress code or other things disrupts your educational system, understand?
I don't remember my dress size
being asked on any job applications. Are they supposed to be able to tell over the phone? Of all places to say this - around a bunch of people whose employers have, for the most part, never seen them!
< thud >
Jo got married and all we got was this bleep dress!
nm
The View. Dress or jeans?
x
dress mani or pedi
!
Why do some thin women dress
like hoes? I'd rather see the outline of a roll through an ill-fitting shirt than see some girl's entire butt crack. That's just NASTY.
Some Georgia schools have dress codes...sm
and they work with school uniform vendors to provide them really cheaply, around $7-8 for each shirt and each pair of pants or shirt.
My daughter goes to a school with a dress code and it's nice not having the "what is OK to wear to school" discussions in the morning. It also eliminates kids who come from poor families feeling inferior to other kids over their clothes.
RE: Help on mother of the groom dress - see message
I'm only 47 and don't want a "matronly" dress. Wedding is in 6 weeks and I need help. Any suggestions?
single digit dress-size here
oops, well I guess I failed - i have 2 children, although do have second generation middle class values.
A tea-length basic black dress?
What kind of company does your husband work for? Would that help in your decision? My opinion is you can't go wrong with black. Accessorize to make the dress "pop". Nicely of course. Congrats to your husband for his award.
If it were MY child, I'd buy her a pretty dress to wear
You bigots are appalling.
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
it was a blue dress firstly and Clinton lied
She's mad that you'll usurp her presence in your flashy red dress! LOL..put the
s
My above-the-knee little sparkly black cocktail dress! - nm
8
Not from CA, but what about a fancy sun dress and a sparkly wrap of some sort for the AC/night
s
Will they all be barefoot or wearing flip flops? Would just go for a simple sun dress or sheath,
s
LOL; were you at *my* wedding?
I think it took me almost a year to get them all out - but 100+ is a lot of handwritten thank yous! I know, no excuse ; )
The Wedding
Yes, you are just being petty. Obviously, you love your dad, but really ... What difference does it really make to YOUR life how much he paid for the ring, how much they spend on the wedding, etc.? Rejoice in your dad's happiness and grow up. You only go around once in this life. Let your dad enjoy his golden years. I say, "Good for him - go Daddy!"
Lilly
When is the wedding and where are
you staying?
wedding
Wedding is 05/17 at Mandalay Bay but we are staying at New York, New York - this is my first trip to Vegas and I'm pretty excited. . We are staying 3 nights.
Would you go to a wedding of
a step neice that you have not heard from for over 20 years? I am so against this, plus I have not talked to her mother or aunts for the same amount of time. I cannot afford to get something to wear with the paychecks I have been getting, giving a gift, etc. I think the only reason I was invited was for the gift. I am trying to get out of it but it is my stepfather's granddaughter and he has been very good to me so I would be doing it for him only. How could I get out of this without hurting my dad? It is this Friday and I have done absolutely nothing to get ready for it. Unfortunately, I already sent in the RSVP card for dinner.
Wedding
If it were me, I would just send a card with a small gift in it. This way you won't have to spend any money buying something to wear. You are probabably right about just wanting the gift.
Yes - the wedding was on TV, he married
he did marry the air-head, he called her princess.
Wedding Ring ?
Do you have more than one? I have a wedding and engagment ring that DH gave me that I used to wear all the time, along with a diamond band my mom gave me years ago. Last summer my mom gave me her engagment ring that she really never wears anymore. Since then, I haven't been wearing the engagment ring DH gave me, I wear the plain gold band I got married in, along with my mom's two rings that she gave me.
DH says he doesn't mind as long as I wear the wedding band that we got married in. I guess it's a superstition thing with him. He understands that I miss my parents (especially my mom), since they live in Florida and we are in New York.
How do your SO's feel about stuff like this? Do they even have an opinion about what rings you wear or don't wear?
She was a wedding present
From my husband to me. When we brought her home she weighed just 1.5 pounds. She was so scrawny. We almost lost her twice and boy did she cost us a fortune, but it was well worth it. We found out she had asthma when she was about two and when I found her she was turning blue. She was on steroids for a long time. She weighed 20 pounds, quite a change from when we first got her. Then she ate fake pine needles from our Christmas tree one year and had to have emergency surgery to get this huge wad of needles out of her intestine. She was the sweetest cat and wouldn't hurt anything or anyone. She used to sleep on my head (on my pilow) which drove my husband nuts. LOL. She purred like a race car. I'll miss that definitely. I still have a, what I call, a wacky 10 year old black cat at home. I think he knows she's gone. Thank you so much.
I had a no child wedding except for immediate - sm
family; so to hopefully appease the very few that could not bring their kids (3 couples) I just had my 2 nephews carry my dress train. We had a swim party reception and I did not want to have to worry about parents getting drunk or inattentive and having a child drown. I knew my SILs would watch their kids as they are both somewhat overprotective, plus they were used to doing this when all the family was over anyways. But the post below is good about the gifts, or maybe directing people to the guest registry; handing out the "favors" or whatever you may have there for the guests.
Wedding shower...
My niece is getting married in August and is having a shower in July. Long story short, they live together, have been for a looonnnggg time now. On the invite, it says "Money preferred" with a bunch of $$$ around it. They're calling it a "greenback shower"...Is it just me, or is this totally disgusting and greedy? Makes me not wanna go. Also, I am not even sure how much to give. We never see them, only at family functions (DH's family..... )...anyway, is it just me that feels this way?
wedding shower
I agree. I think they have a lot of nerve expecting guests to "finance" their life together. Are they getting married after so long just to make some bucks? Or are you supposed to help offset the cost of this wedding? Are they registered? I'd give her a gift (if that's what you'd prefer). If you feel you have to give money, I'd probably stay in the $25.00 range or whatever you feel comfortable giving. Of course, you could always make an excuse and not go. After all, they'll probably want money as a wedding gift also!
Wedding question. SM
Okay, I'm confused as far as the gift process. I am invited to the bridal shower and the wedding and reception. My question is this, do I get two separate gifts - one for the bride for the bridal shower and one for the happy couple for the wedding? This is an older couple (in their 50s) and this is the second marriage for both.
If so, I need some nifty ideas for a bridal shower gift. Nothing naughty like lingerie or sex toys (which would be hilarious) because the bride is very, VERY refined and would not find any kind of humor in it at all. Plus the bridal shower will probably be elegant and tasteful and will make Emily Post proud. So I guess I should wear a bra and show up with a tasteful gift. 
Thanks!
Another wedding question... SM
I posted a question a few weeks back about a wedding I'm about to attend and whether I needed to give a gift at the bridal shower and the wedding...
Anyway, the wedding is this Saturday. I've been asked to be in charge of the guest book, whatever that means. The dress I bought for the wedding is red. Yesterday, I'm told that the bride isn't happy with that and that her wedding colors are periwinkle and some sort of pastel green.
Now, I'm very irritated. I'm told that I'm not part of the wedding party, but they just want me to make sure everyone signs the book. No one told me that I need to try and match the wedding colors and now five days before the wedding, I'm told the bride doesn't like that I have a red dress!!??
I came from out of town for this thing so this dress is the only dress I brought with me! I'm working from my hotel room so we could be here this whole week because my daughter is the flower girl and they needed to do a fitting for her and she had to be here for the rehearsal. Now they are suggesting I buy a new dress?
My response to the bride was if she doesn't like my dress, she can buy me a new one. Now her daughters are telling me I'm being difficult and ruining their mothers special moment. The groom does everything the bride tells him too, so he's not on my side even though he's my family. I have half a mind to get in my car and drive back to Missouri with my daughter and tell them all to take a flying leap!
Am I being unreasonable here?
WOW. Yes what a crazy wedding
Glad you have been demoted to program passer outer. LOL. Butterflies and 65 and 68 years old. CRAZY. Keep us posted about he reception. I am sure that should be a hoot too.
Enjoy yourself. It is almost over. LOL.
BTW - I am going to a wedding Sept 1st. They are going to have a pig roast. How about that?? I am from NJ and never been to a wedding like that before. Should be very exciting. Can't wait.
Going to an outdoor wedding on Sat.
where they are having a pig roast. Never heard of such a thing at a wedding, so should be interesting. Sunday going to my sister-in-law's summer home, as she calls it, (her trailer at a campsite). She loves it there and then laboring on Labor Day. Have to work. Enjoy the unofficial end of Summer.
Wedding poem? sm
DH and I are renewing our vows for our 20th anniversary. At first we didn't think this was going to happen but just found out it is a go and it is happening Wednesday. Would like for our daughter to read a poem. It will just be DH, DS, DD, myself, the preacher, and the Lord. Any suggestions. Am also posting on Christianity board for additional suggestions for DS. Thanks for any help!
What about Betsy's Wedding???
It is kind of an older movie with Molly Ringwold when she was very young and Alan Alda. This has got to be about the funniest movie I have seen. Also get Big Trouble with Peter Falk and Beverly De'Angelo, Robert Stack and others. This and In-Laws are about the funniest movies I have ever seen. Anyway we all get down in the dumps at times. I kind of dread the holidays sometimes because my sister's husband is so very rude and they are all very materialistic -- all they care about is money -- it is kind of hard to be around people like that. His mother just recently died and I don't think he shed one tear or even cared. It was just business as usual. Kind of shallow person. Oh well. Takes all kinds to make the world they say. So you just cheer up girl. Hope you feel better really soon.
Suzanne
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