RE: Help on mother of the groom dress - see message
Posted By: Kristie on 2007-05-30
In Reply to:
I'm only 47 and don't want a "matronly" dress. Wedding is in 6 weeks and I need help. Any suggestions?
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I am a very happy mother of the groom
Having an only child I have never experienced preparing a wedding previously. I had fun but I had no idea how much work goes into one of these weddings. However, it was a beautiful ceremony, beautiful day, and a whole lot of fun. The kids are married and extremely happy. The mother and father of the groom cannot ask for anything more and our blessings go to our "children." Just had to share this wonderful experience!!
The guest list is up to the bride & groom....sm
no one else! Of course if grandma wants to foot the bill for the wedding then I'm sure they'd consider her desires.
stick to your guns and let the bride and groom decide who they would like at the wedding(sm)
Twenty years ago there were 150 people at my wedding. I knew MAYBE 20 of them. My parents INSISTED on inviting every single long-distance cousin and relative, most of whom I (and certainly my husband) did not know and had never met. Granted, MA and Dad were paying for the wedding but I've always felt like I missed out on having MY wedding because, in order to stay within their budget, I only invited about five or ten friends. And my husband and his parents felt like they COULDN'T invite anyone because of the budget restraints and my parents' guest list. We ended up with about 20 people on my husband's side of the church (basically his immediate family), three of his friends, five of mine, and the rest were mostly my distant, DISTANT unknown relatives (with a few close relatives scattered among the many distants). I look back now and wish that I had taken better charge of the situation. It certainly would have cost my parents less money because I wasn't going to invite that many people.
the underlying read-between-the-lines message of the insurance lobbyist's message was (sm)
to, yes, appeal the denied claim. However, she lobbies for the insurance companies. She comes across sounding like she's on the patient's side but in reality she is on the side of the insurance company. The insurance company gets to deny whatever claims they want right off the bat. That leaves the SICK patient (who needs the coverage NOW when they are sick) to have to go through the appeals process. That could take quite a while. Imagine a cancer patient being denied some form of treatment that is going to help them. They now have to go through the appeals process (or pay out of pocket) in order for that treatment to be covered. In the MEANTIME their cancer is progressing. From the point of view of the insurance company, if they drag it out long enough they don't have to pay for it at all. That same insurance lobbyist was on 20/20 a little while back and basically came right out and said that the insurance companies COULDN'T AFFORD to pay for coverage for sick people. She's not on the patient's side.
Dress
Every year they change the rules in those bride books. At my daughter's wedding, which was semi-formal, but outside (????? is this congruent?????) the mother of the groom wore white! My one pet peeve is that the mothers not wear white too! However she is a tacky woman, so what should I have expected? She was given the color scheme and the bride's mother has first choice, was asked not to wear white or pants, but not only did she wear white, she wore pants! May I add that she looked ridiculous because she chose some hippie-dippie flowing cotton things that would have looked okay at a parade or a yard sale, with huge pantaloon legs and wore flip-flop like sandals. (Pain is still coursing through my body from this faux pas 12 years later). But, having done this before more than once I found that at Nordstrom's they have wonderful salespeople and great dresses and they will bring you things to the dressing room that suit you and your budget just tell them basically what you want and what you want to spend. Stay away from bridal stores, they try to sell you "bridesmaid dresses" and will ooh and ahh over you even if you look like a clown and most of the dresses show too much skin or have ruffles and bows attached in all the wrong spots if you are over 23. I took my daughter whom I trust to know me and what I like as well as what looks best on me. Good luck! Hope your new in-laws are more fun than mine! They are still tacky, but then I rarely see them! 
Red dress or no dress.
Having a guest book attendant is popular in the South and is supposed to be an honour. Here is a website with some info but it does say coordinate color somewhat.
Given the circumstances, if she really felt uncomfortable with what you are wearing, I would keep it pleasant, it is after all her day and you might feel the same way if in her shoes. I myself would just explain to the bride (especially if you were asked to hold this position until the last minute)...
"I am honored that you have asked me to participate in your wedding, but since I was not expecting this, the red dress is the only one that I brought with me and I honestly cannot afford to purchase a new one right now. If you are still uncomfortable with me wearing this however, I would truly understand if you would like to choose someone else for the position."
That will leave the ball in her court. If she wants to offer to buy you one, so be it. The choice is strictly hers.
Wikipedia had some interesting info on the colors. Red for auscpiousness meaning luck or promising, and how white was originally for mourning and blue was the color associated with purity.
It should not matter to her as long as you don't outshine her. If anything guests will be talking "bad" about you not her, and in that case I wouldn't give a flip!
How about help her with a dress? sm
The dresses are extremely expensive and maybe if you could help financially with the dress of her choice, that would make her day the most memorable as well as beautiful pictures. She basically needs to feel like a queen.
You could pay for her to get manicure/pedicure, buy her jewelry, pay for picture setting at a photography studio, or school pics if someone else is not, pay for her to get her hair done or makeup done.
Ultimately, you cannot control the eating that day and activities unless you teamed up with her date and coordinated that with him to make sure he could afford a really nice place or pay for it for them.
I would suggest you going down and setting up a time before their prom activities to take some really good photos of them, play ones, serious ones, etc depending on their relationship. Just went through 2 proms recently with my DD and our pics we got are way better than any of the school pics. Sending them to Walmart to be printed as soon as I figure out what I want! Their pic packages are really reasonable. You could even put together a photo album of pics for her for later of her special day. Email me if you like, we have some adorable pics of my DD.
Bridesmaid dress
My cousin is getting married in a few months and is in the process of picking out her bridesmaid dresses. Her dress has cranberry trim on it, so she wants our dresses to be that color and she also wants them to be long. I went to the boutique with her and she showed me her top three choices.
1. floor length satin, strapless with a straight skirt.
2. floor length chiffon and satin with spaghetti straps, also with a straight skirt.
3. tea dress (mid calf) satin with a butterfly beading design, netting under the skirt, bow tie spaghetti straps.
If you were the bride, which dress would you pick for the bridesmaids?
Really, what do they dress like, the Amish?
Or wear a burqa/burka? LOL
Complete with red dress...
Weddings have become such shows...it's ridiculous! I've been to 2 weddings in 2 weeks, neither one too showy, but just money spent on silly little things (no programs!) like bubbles to blow at the bride and groom, which no one was left by the time they left...candies with their names on them, etc. Boy, can't wait til my DD gets married! 
I'm drunk enough now to tell you that you may have my dress,
but you will never have my hat!!!!!
He didn't see me in it, but he saw my MOM in the dress.
I wore my mother's dress, and her wedding pictures were displayed in our house. So he saw the dress before we were married. I don't think that counts. :)
Deep Purple Dress
Bridesmaid dresses in a deep purple. Not sure if I should go for metallics- gold or silver or stick with black? The wedding is in the afternoon in church and a reception at a golf course. What do you think?
Dress code for students?
Our school system is looking at implementing a strict dress code for all students...khaki pants and solid colored collard shirts (basically a polo shirt) but no brand-names are allowed. My children hate the idea..ages 14 and 16. Any opinion on this?
Your dress code is not being followed apparently,
because you yourself state your neice wore shorts too short and your son had to change his shirt. If your school had uniforms, these would not happen. Any disruption, such as having to pull this child or that child out for breaking the dress code or other things disrupts your educational system, understand?
I don't remember my dress size
being asked on any job applications. Are they supposed to be able to tell over the phone? Of all places to say this - around a bunch of people whose employers have, for the most part, never seen them!
< thud >
Red dress attendant at wedding
Just got back from vacation and saw the post about bride not wanting red dressed attendant at wedding. Getting past keeping the book part (some know about it, others do not, some agree, some do not) but I am talking the red thing. First of all, anyone wearing red is usually saying LOOK at me. The bride has every right in asking anyone in the wedding party NOT to wear red. This is her day- NOT anyone elses. It falls under the same thing as no one wearing white to the wedding- that is supposed to be reserved for the bride only. Wearing red would be about the same as wearing sequin dress and I guess also most do not know you should not wear black although I see women doing that also at weddings. I think the problem now days is most do not know manners - I recently saw the most outlandish dress for a funeral, bare arms, bare midriffs, very short skirts, capris and/or bermudas. Any request a bride makes for her wedding for her attendants SHOULD be followed to HER liking, not theirs. Any who disagree with this post really just do not know etiquette but should brush up on theirs - try reading Emily Post to begin with.
Jo got married and all we got was this bleep dress!
nm
The View. Dress or jeans?
x
dress mani or pedi
!
Why do some thin women dress
like hoes? I'd rather see the outline of a roll through an ill-fitting shirt than see some girl's entire butt crack. That's just NASTY.
Anyone been to a wedding on the beach in Hawaii? Need help w/ MOB dress.
I have already posted this on another board, but I need all the suggestions I can get, and I appreciate any and all help.
My friend has asked me to help her shop for a mother of the bride dress. She really has no idea what she wants to look for, and she has done no looking on her own. We are going to go shopping not this weekend but next. The bride said for her to just pick out a simple dress. The wedding is mid March, on the beach, and they say the temperature is 70s-80s year round there (I wouldn't have known this myself LOL). I don't know the colors they are using yet, but I'm sure she does by this time.
What kind of style should we look for? MOB is 48 years old, slightly overweight but not terribly so, and relatively conservative. Any suggestions? Thanks! Y'all seem to have great taste.
Some Georgia schools have dress codes...sm
and they work with school uniform vendors to provide them really cheaply, around $7-8 for each shirt and each pair of pants or shirt.
My daughter goes to a school with a dress code and it's nice not having the "what is OK to wear to school" discussions in the morning. It also eliminates kids who come from poor families feeling inferior to other kids over their clothes.
single digit dress-size here
oops, well I guess I failed - i have 2 children, although do have second generation middle class values.
A tea-length basic black dress?
What kind of company does your husband work for? Would that help in your decision? My opinion is you can't go wrong with black. Accessorize to make the dress "pop". Nicely of course. Congrats to your husband for his award.
If it were MY child, I'd buy her a pretty dress to wear
You bigots are appalling.
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
it was a blue dress firstly and Clinton lied
She's mad that you'll usurp her presence in your flashy red dress! LOL..put the
s
My above-the-knee little sparkly black cocktail dress! - nm
8
Not from CA, but what about a fancy sun dress and a sparkly wrap of some sort for the AC/night
s
Will they all be barefoot or wearing flip flops? Would just go for a simple sun dress or sheath,
s
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Message to Mom of 3 below.
Wow! First of all have to give you compliments on stating your opinion as I figure you knew you would get nailed. I am also one that is a firm believer of kids have the ability to learn, sometimes through tough love and sometimes through every day simple life. Although I would disagree with you about the "coat incident" I still can relate to you on trying to teach kids to take care of your things, etc. I love my kids dearly, but I know at any moment I could be taken from this earth and I want them to be as prepared as they can be at 8 and 9. I don't expect perfection, but when they do "screw up" I make sure they definitely know it (and remember it). I think most people now do not appreciate children the way we do. They are very intelligent if you give them the opporunity to be. They deserve respect just as adults do (when they earn it.... just like adults). We have to teach them to be adults and it has to start somewhere. Again, I don't completely agree with you, but overall I understand what you are saying. Please ignore any misspelling in my post... I am using my husband's keyboard, which is "stiff as a board!)
Sorry, should be sm for above message
nm
See message...
I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I also believe that sexual preferences should be personal and private. I would not refuse to shop at a store because a clerk was gay, but frankly, that is something that I shouldn't even know about a stranger. A person's sexual behavior should be totally private.
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I paid my balance off in full, received a finance charge statement of about $42. I called the credit card, and said I do not understand - I paid the balance in full, what is this charge for. Act like you need them to help you understand. They adjusted my account and took that finance charge off and said I will receive a statement of the adjustment and my balance is now 0.
It really all depends on how you handle it and in what way you speak to them. Try it that way and see if they will adjust it off.
Good luck!
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I just had my ovary removed due to a cyst and surgery went well, I did well postop and was relieved that it was over. However, just found out that the pathology report showed carcinoma and now I have to have a total hysterectomy and staging workup. Anyone been through this that can offer some comfort in what to expect? Thanks.
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Thank you for your suggestions. At least you give me suggestions other than telling me to seek therapy or bariatric surgery, which I would never consider anyway. I get defensive when I feel attacked for my opinions, thus the *anger* in my previous posts. I DID read your post thoroughly and I did note that you used to have a weight problem, as well. Anon upset me, and I guess I took it out on you. I apologize.
I will put in to use some of your suggestions, but just so you know, my one meal a day does not include snacking, either. I am busy working most of the day, have a lot to do, and the time just slips away before I realize I am hungry, which is generally around 3 in the afternoon. I may have a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, and sometimes water, but that is all. Some will find fault with that, as well, I am sure, but that's the truth. Again, thanks for your input. At least you are more pleasant about it all.
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Your symptoms sound similar to carpal tunnel, but it may be something else, too. If I may suggest seeing a neurologist? It sounds more like a nerve problem to me and it does not necessarily have to be in your hands or wrists. EMG nerve conduction studies on your hands may be negative, but I have done dictations from doctors who have patients with carpal tunnel with false EMGs and the docs call them false positives, meaning the patient actually has carpal tunnel, but the studies were not definitive for that. As the other poster suggested, it may also be neck related. Just get a second opinion from a different doctor, and be insistent on what YOU want checked. Some doctors are resistant to patient requests, so you have to stand up for yourself. good luck.
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When my 17 year old calico passed away a few months ago, I was with her, as well as my 20 y/o son, and it was very hard for us both to watch. My son couldn't stop crying...she was part of his entire life. We still have the 16 year old male with us, Oscar, who misses her very much. They always stayed in close proximity to one another...even though they still gave each other glaring looks at mealtime. He just hangs onto us all the time and it's hard to work because he insist on laying on my desk, in my lap, knocking everything off. He has never done this before. She always laid at my feet and talked to me and he laid up high. It's sad because he can't understand what's happened. She was his long-time partner.
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I would be careful...I am facing court for just this right now, due to old debt that I started accruing, due to being quite desperate and broke, after my bankruptcy was filed. I can file again but probably won't and don't want to, but still have to deal with the courts, this week actually. can't wait. bankruptcy is not the end of the world. you can get a credit card again and you can work on your credit. It stays on your credit report for ten years. how long will it take you to pay off that debt???
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He obviously wanted to be with her and you cannot fault him for that, I guess. It is never easy when someone in the family takes their own lives and those left behind never truly understand why or how that person was feeling inside. It is very hard, and I feel your pain. Cry, let it out, and then take God's hand. He will get you through it somehow. There will be a brighter day. They are together now. Maybe that will help some. God bless you and your family. {{{hugs}}}
see message--sm
you only have to look into your heart to know what is right and what is wrong. I am not going to argue religion with you. I have my beliefs and you have yours, or disbeliefs in your case, and I am not going to argue with you about who is right and who is wrong. Time will tell that, in the end. and no one said anything about someone coming into your room on your deathbed and preaching to you, personally. It sounds like you are so opposed to it because you may actually be wrong about it more so than you just do not believe. Good luck to you.
My message above should have had SM as there is more
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See message -- going it alone
Think of a younger family member. Well everyone thought I was nuts to take my almost 18 year old nephew with me to San Francisco as I could not do the "night life" but we had a wonderful time. never walked so much in my life. We have always gotten along but he is so easy to travel with and appreciative of it. Went to a Giants game, did the Fisherman's Wharf almost everyday. Got lost. Took wrong buses and it was so nice being with someone that never got upset, enjoyed the little things and went with the flow. We talk about it all the time. I gave him so much money every day which was out budget for meals and "fun things" and he saw how the money went and if we did not spend much for breakfast it left that much more for dinner or something "extra". He had to figure out what the tips were, etc. It was great -- I did not have to handle money at all, left it all up to him. He read the maps and got us around with buses, etc. It was also nice that I did not have to worry about someone drinking too much and ruining the next day which is what my ex did more times than not. Saw everything down there. There is why I am thinking of taking him (now 19) and his 17 year old brother to Boston with me. So think of taking a younger family member that will enjoy it with you if you do want to share some special time with them. There are a lot of great teenagers out there that do like to spend time with adults.
See message.
http://www.sydneyscloset.com/
YES!!! See message
Hey, this happened to us just about a month ago. My hubby needed his ASAP!! I called the Records place in Kansas (where he was born) and they were willing to overnight it to me. Now, the total cost including the certificate was 36 dollars and we didn't get it until after 5 p.m. (could have paid more to get it before noon) on the 2nd day (ordered it on Tues, got here on Thurs), but I ordered it after 4 p.m. too, so you could probably get it faster. good luck!!!
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I don't mean this to sound rude or harsh, but I would tell them to start saving up now for moving expenses in October. If they have the next four months to save, they could probably find another place to live and pay for security deposits and moving transportation, etc. This is not a good financial situation, it sounds like, and I really do not foresee acquiring a loan in time to purchase this home, not to mention them not being able to meet the payments if they do secure a loan. I would tell them to prepare for the inevitable now, so they are burdened with financial problems when the time arises, and it most likely will. To keep them from moving in with you, this would be the best route for all involved. It is not your responsibility to solve their problems. Good luck to you.
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My friend just went through the same thing but because she didn't want to be alone, they stayed together until recently. He was having an affair and the other lady divorced her husband which is when he decided he was not going to stay married to her. I guess I'm saying this because I have seen what my friend has gone through with the other lady and if your husband feels that way, he might also find someone with the same interests. It is better to separate/divorce before an affair than during/after, as in the case with my friend. Good luck!
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