Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
Posted By: momsgirls on 2007-09-26
In Reply to:
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
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puberty/daughters
There are many variations of menarche and the menstrual cycle that are considered "normal" from one female to another. For instance, my daughter, who is now 15, had her menarche at age 10; however, it was very light, brief, and definitely not from month-to-month. She developed early, is very tall (5ཆ"), and is of medium-to-slender build. She now has regular cycles, albeit on the "long" side, of approximately 36-40 days. She has played soccer and basketball.
They say that sometimes the daughter's OB/GYN history will follow that of the mother - but not always. I was on the track team in high school, was always very active with school, chorus, and band, but my body type was very thin and tiny. I weighed less than 95 pounds in my senior year. I am currently in my early 40s and weigh about 112 pounds (two pregnancies, with nine and ten-pound babies - no gestational diabetes) and am 5ƈ". I did not reach menarche until about the age of 15, but my cycles are short, about 26 days.
Just as with babies and potty training, for example, as long as there is no pain, sharp or otherwise, no passing large clots, fever, etc., I'm sure all will be well. It (puberty with fruition of regular menses) is "gearing up" in a sense. In fact, before my daughter's very first period, red blood cells were detected on a routine urine culture. The pediatrician knew right away that menarche was pending; sure enough, it happened within a couple of weeks.
Not sure who look like their moms, but maybe have some
character traits of their mothers.
I do know, some men look at the girl's mother to see what the girl will look like when she is older. If her mother is attractive, that certainly helps.
Question for you moms out there...sm
1. Did you have a lot of morning sickness?
2. How many weeks did it last, i.e. from 4 to 12 weeks pregnant or what?
Strippers can be moms too.
nm
Not so much our moms as we just try to teach
xx
Question for moms
I have a question for mothers out there, I am 29 years old. My husband and I have been married for over 8 years almost 9 we are just now trying to have a baby. While we are excited about this we are also very nervous. I really love my husband and we have good marriage, I am so nervous about how a baby will change our marriage. I know it sounds selfish but I want to be a good wife when we have a child. Are these normal feelings? TIA!!
any moms out there with kids
How did you know they were "model material?" My 9-year old Corbin Blue look- alike wants to go for an open call at our local talent agency. He has the personality for it and i think he's gorgeous, but of course I'm biased!!!
Any tips for going to a call?
Moms are in charge of the fun!
What are your summer fun plans?
Free days at local attractions, or something bigger?
At my house we will be taking a week to explore our own state, which is pretty big!
Mean moms/childhood
I often questioned God why after 14 years of trying to get pregnant, I never did, then my uterus prolapsed and I had to have a hysterectomy.
I look at my childhood and it had a lot of faults. My mom was so devastated by her own bad childhood, that she really didn't know how to be a parent. My dad, who knew how to be a good parent, was often too busy having to take care of her after psychiatrists had her so drugged she often didn't get out of bed for days.
My mom is about to turn 65 and over the last 8 months or so, both my sister and I have gotten hate E-mail from her for no apparent reason other than she needs to pick a fight, so she starts pointing out our character defects. I originally refuted the points and it just escalated. I didn't even respond to her last hate E-mail. I'm wondering if something is going wrong with her brain (other than the mental illness she already has) from years of drinking or all of the prescription meds she's been hooked on (pain meds, amphetamines, sleeping pills, benzos.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, we did some crazy stuff when I was a kid. She even took my sister and me to a motel with a pool and we checked in overnight. I knew she didn't tell my dad where she was going and when she told us it was bedtime, I tried in vain to stay awake so she'd fall asleep and I could call my dad and let him know where we were. I was probably around 8 or 9 at the time. I felt guilt over that for years because I did fall asleep and never called him (and I wonder why I have insomnia now). He was crying when she brought us home late the next day.
Mom wasn't all bad times. When she was spiritually fit, we had a lot of fun. And I can recognize, as an adult, that she has a personality disorder and I just don't feed it. I love her and always will. I just have to hope I catch her on better days.
I guess what I'm saying is I hope that kid doesn't grow up with memories like mine. I hope the mother was just having a really bad day with a kid who had been acting up all day. And I hope she told him she was sorry and hugged him.
Anyway, I've come to realize that I never really had a good, consistent example of a parent. What kind of parent would I have made? My husband was gone a lot early on. He could be gone 6 months, come back for 10 days and then leave again for another 2 months. Many military wives have dealt with this and had children. Looking back (hindsight is always 20/20), I'm not sure I had what it took to be a good parent so it's best that I never did get pregnant. At least thinking about it that way helps take away some of the emptiness.
My faith is now in God, that He has some other purpose for me than being a parent to human children. I work with a pug rescue and maybe that's what I was meant to do. I believe He has not revealed his full purpose for me, but gives me a little more each time.
Anyway, sorry for rambling so much. If you've stuck with me this long, thanks. It's been a rough, emotional week. Hope yours is going better. :-)
((((((Hugs)))))) to everyone who needs one.
God bless.
Thank God for daughters
My daughter came home and started going through scripture. This is what she came up with. It made me even sadder thinking about what a loss it is to lose a child.
Our dearest friends, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." -1 James 5:7 We are truly sorry for the world's loss and your pain. We're here for you.
me: Appreciate the input to all who posted. I knew she'd do it for me, but wasn't sure if she'd be here in time.
This is so sad....
I have three daughters (sm)
My oldest daughter has a different father than my youngest two. This situation had nothing with a breach of faithfulness to my ex-husband or current husband. I've been entirely faithful in my marriages. My current husband raises her as his own and has since before she was 2. We have as close to a nuclear family as can be expected in this situation.
We cannot assume that because children have different biological fathers (or mothers) in one family that there was some wrongdoing. :)
Two daughters 14 and 4
1. What ages are your kids?
14 and 4
2. Do they have their own cell phone? No,we were planning on getting my daughter a prepaid cell phone for Christmas until we realized all she wanted it for was to text and talk to her friends even though we had told her it was just for emergencies. She uses her father's cell phone if she needs to be away from home where I don't have an exact time to pick her up and has to call for a ride. Too many of her friends have cell phones and run up $500 bills and their parents think nothing of it (that's why we were leaning towards a prepay) or have the most expensive cell phones on the market. We also thought that she'd use up in her minutes in weeks instead of months.
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: My four year doesn't have a TV yet, but my oldest does. She has her own laptop computer courtesy of her cousin, but it's right next to mine and she only can be on it for an hour a day. She's been grounded from it so many times for going over the hour, but she knows there are consequences for not following the rules.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
The four year old doesn't yet, although she helps me more than the 14 year old without asking. LOL. The 14 year old just gets $5 a week for doing her chores, more when I'm really busy and I need her to watch her younger sister.
my daughters are 5, 2, and 1 so they don't say anything
sometimes the 5 year old will aske me why I don't like granny or why granny doesn't talk to me.
To answere your question, no, not really.
Long story short, brother in law was in jail and wanted pics of our kids. we said no and told her not to send either. she sent them anyway and when my husband called to say something to her about it, he talked to his dad and he got all mad about us not wanting pics of our kids in jail. they did not call us, talk to us, see our kids for 6 months. Then want to pretend like nothing ever happened (with my husband) when they came for a b-day party in Nov. This was the first time we saw them and she gave me a complete attitude, did not speak to me, turned her back to me everytime I said anything.
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
any cheerleader moms out there? i need some suggestions. sm
i have a varsity cheerleader. her turn is coming up to make the candy bag thingies, but she wants to do something different. she wanted to use paper towel rolls cut in half (they aren't allowed to use toilet paper rolls due to sanitary reasons), stuffed with candy and rolled up. however, i have not been able to collect 150 paper towel rolls or 75 even for that matter to cut in half. she has two weeks to get 150 candy bags ready. any suggestions on something different to use for candy bags rather than the standard norm of goodie bags?
Single moms - is it better to rent or buy? sm
I am separating, about to become a single mother of two children. I am wondering if I should buy a home or rent one. While buying seems like a good idea, I would also be giving a chunk of money for a down payment (which if I rented I could keep as emergency savings) plus I would be responsible to repair anything that might break. I would appreciate any advice on this.
thanks :-)
Thank you. Single moms on welfare are not all bad ones.
Women on here who say they have SOOOOO much saved for retirement and then talk about drawing social security burn my behind. It wasn't intended for the well-off to draw in the first place and probably will be gone by the time most of us get old enough to draw it.
This person is obviously overwhelmed with greed, wouldn't you say? In this day and age, with the greedy falling left and right, this one apparently doesn't understand that greedy behavior is no longer PC.
anyone have cheerleader daughters? sm
my 15yo is trying out next week. she was cheerleader on little league squads, but hasn't been in jr. high and now trying out for varsity. they have to make up their own cheer. any ideas? i've been searching the net just for some ideas and everything is just the same ole, same ole. FYI, not trying to copy but just get some ideas to make the brain flow for me/her to try to put somethign together. she needs something different and unique to make her stand out since she is up against lots of cheerleaders that have been on the squad for years. something short, with a jump or two in it. HELP please!!!
my 19 and 21 year old daughters sm
wore a size 4 shoe since they were 12. It is hard for them to get grown up looking shoes. They are about 5 feet. They would love to have bigger feet. They take after my mother in law who was a size 4 her whole life.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock. Would that feel good on your conscience? You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Thanks for this info. My 2 daughters and
I just bought a batch of 6 each. Thanks again.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
Boys wrap their moms around their fingers too
Apparently you, for example......I know moms of boys and sometimes I think some of them are delusional about their *boys/men*.....I don't know - I surely just don't get it.....as much as I try to get it.....
I totally agree...no one can understand this job but us MT Moms...
no breaks from anything...but I love working at home and wouldn't change it for the world...even if my kids do drive me crazy on a daily basis---LOL...part of the job...
Two daughters go back next Wednesday
Two days after Labor Day. One starting 8th grade at a the Junior High and one starting preschool. I'm in NY.
As the mother of two young daughters
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs. No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding. It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons. I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship. She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this. I am so sorry!!
Amen! My daughters and I do laugh
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.
Our two daughters "came out" a year or so ago...
and it wasn't really a shock. I had already suspected it when they were wearing rainbow stuff, even had a rainbow dental retainer, but my husband just didn't want to believe and stated that everyone likes rainbows and that didn't mean anything LOL. Our children were afraid of our reaction so that is why they delayed telling us. I wish they would have realized a long time ago that if they were purple, polka-dot or whatever they chose to be, we love them the same. One of them is still unsure of her sexuality so we just stay supportive while she finds her own identity etc. My husband's daughter who came out was afraid to tell her maternal grandparents, and when she did, she got the reaction she expected, total abandonment and was told to never discuss her life with them at all. That is very sad to me. We continue to support and love them and keep an open mind when we have met their "partners." I will admit at first I was sad because at some point you realize all the dreams you have for your child are gone as in getting married, having children etc.. but I soon realized that this can still happen, just not in the tradition way. Love is unconditional. That's my thought.
Good advice for your daughters.
Hi XXX: Read all your posts with Mom with girls. Basically I agree with most everything you say. I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills. I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too. I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills. She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult. She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married. The father came along and helped with money to raise his child. They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children. She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father. he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky. Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story.
All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by. I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came. I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids. After all we all make mistakes. Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice. Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them.
Moms - how long did you wait to tell people you were pregnant?
Right away or waited a while?
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
Two of my daughters have them on their lists. Found them at K-Mart for 29.99 nm
x
You're just a Scrooge, that's all. Read Jewish Moms post above.
g
I named my daughters Katie Ann and Kelsey Nicole. sm
Our son is Kyle. I also like the name Kellen for a boy or a girl. Good luck!
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
Questions
I have breastfed and am currently breast feeding and would like to ask you
If you were on the air plan which would you prefer the mother breastfeeding her child to comfort and keep him/her quiet in this cramped uncomfortable environment or to listen to this child scream bloody murder making your trip totally unbearable????
Some thoughts:
Children that young dont know how to clear their ears when changing altitudes and it easier to either have them sleeping or sucking.
Also some young children that are breastfed refuse bottles completely.
Older babies do not like to have their faces covered while eating they want to see their mommy and surroundings.
Personally:
I am the mother of a ten month old that will be flying (on a long flight) for the first time next month. I plan on breastfeeding him if needed and if I do need to I will have my older daughter there to hold a small blanket up as a sort of shielding wall. I am more than ready to be done breastfeeding and am working very hard to get him there as well but because his schedule doesnt agree with mine I dont think that I should be barred from traveling on a plane and I think the other passengers on the plane would prefer I comfort my child to the best of my ability so that they can try and enjoy their trip as well.
The sucky part about is I will be on the mentioned airlines soooooo may be my son wont get to meet his grandparent for the first time because my child comes first always!!!! Take care everyone and enjoy your holidays I am climbing off my soap box now
you need to ask yourself 2 questions sm
1. Can the bridesmaids comfortably wear a strapless dress (not everybody can)?
2. Do the shoulders need to be covered if the wedding is in a church?
I'd choose number 2.
Two questions
Has she been anywhere that she could have come in contact with bedbugs? (stayed at a motel, slept over at a friend's house)
Is it possible she has been in contact with poison ivy?
We went through a similar problem with my husband a while ago. He has to travel sometimes for his job, and several years ago he picked up some bedbugs from a hotel.
Since then, we have moved to a new house and he got a new bed. When he started itching again we were concerned it was bedbugs, but the rash was similar to how you describe your daughter's rash, and we finally figured out he had probably gotten into some poison ivy in our back yard.
Good luck - I hope you figure out the cause (and cure) soon.
questions
1.You'll never see me watch___? reality TV
2.You'll never see me wear___? a designer dress
3.You'll never see me eat___? chocolate covered ants
4.You'll never see me buy___? any male enhancement products
5.You'll never see me clean___? at all, unless I'm getting company!
6.You'll never see me kiss___? Jack Black, ewwww
7.You'll never see me talking___? about wanting to work outside my home
questions
I think a lot depends on your specific circumstances. I got an apartment because he refused to move out. I had planned it for months. Legally though if you leave and the house is in both your names, that's not good because he'll get the house.
As far as the kids, so much depends on their ages but you'd be surprised how much they already intuitively know. Just be honest with them and make sure they know they are loved by both of you, and that none of this is their fault. Give them as much stability as possible and once they see you are happier, their lives will be too.
There are a lot of questions here,
1 being the fact that this "nanny" was supposed to be with the 16-year-old. The police said they are sticking with their story, the Travolta camp saying differently. Supposedly this child had two (2) nannies that were supposed to be with him at all times. If a cover up, it has a lot to do with it.
Some questions sm
Boy this is a tough situation. My first thoughts are to ask you if you feel he has been a good husband. In other words, if this DID happen 17 years ago, perhaps he has changed his ways and become a better partner. However, you indicate you think he's lying to you so I'm wondering if you have trust issues even today. You really need to sit down and have a long heart to heart with hubs and clear this up because it's not easy to throw away 17 years of a marriage and children together.
Well, more questions then
If this only happens once a month, or approximately every 28 days....
How long has it been going on?
Is she gaining weight?
Is there a boyfriend in her past or present?
I've had friends who got pregnant at 14. It happens. And nobody had a clue that anything was going on.
Christmas questions
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? - Hot Chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Mom wraps, Santa stuffs stockings.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored inside, white outside
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No
5. When do you put your decorations up? When I have time. Usually get the tree the first weekend in December.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Turkey
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Spending Christmas with my mom's parents who lived 2 hours away and then coming home and seeing my dad's parents who lived right down the street.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My cousin informed me in elementary school and took great pleasure in crushing me. 
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I always wanted to, but wasn't allowed, so now my kids each get to open one on Christmas Eve, and my oldest is in college and still likes to do this.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? colored lights, all the oraments I have gotten my kids over the years plus the ones they have made in school since they were little, star on the top. Probably nothing Martha Stewart would approve of - LOL.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? Used to love it, now dread it, but don't know why exactly.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Bionic Woman doll
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with my family and Christmas Even services at church and singing all those great hymns.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? pumpkin pie
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas eve candlelight service
17. What tops your tree? star
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Love to give and see the look on my kids' faces when they open their gifts.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum
Christmas questions sm
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog (loaded).
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wrap them all.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Weekend after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Baked ham.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Going sledding in Garmisch, Germany. The adults went skiing. Lived in Germany 10 years as a kid, and every Christmas was great there. Very festive place during the holiday season.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 9 years old, my younger brother found all the gifts in the closet - I was devastated.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Leave that to my daughter and grandson.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? I like to look at it, but dread driving in it. We have enough here in Colorado to share with everybody.
12. Can you ice skate? I would be afraid to try it now.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My first Shaded Silver Chinchilla persian kitten. He lived to be 20 and I am now on my second one.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Giving.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Irish Christmas pudding with hot Bird's custard.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Baking Christmas goodies, watching Home Alone, and homemade Eggnog.
17. What tops your tree? Star.
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Jingle Bell Rock
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum.
Sorry if I ask the obvious questions, but ...
Are you providing scratching posts loaded with catnip, fun toys, that kind of thing? I have had maybe a dozen cats over the years, none of them declawed, and none ever touched any of my furniture (some of it leather to boot)because I started them when they were young with taking them to the claw posts, praising them there, providing toys, etc. Give it a try before you declaw, please!!! Good luck.
thanks for all the answers to my questions--sm
I appreciate the input, even though it saddens me that this would even happen anywhere in the USA!
Common questions that men ask
Questions that I've been commonly asked in the "dating world" since I'm single.
"Why arent you married"
"Do you want kids?"
"Why hasn't someone snatched you up"
"Do you date?"
or when the guy states...
"I'm a really nice guy"
"I'm a great catch"
"I've always been too busy to meet someone special until now"
Another thing..for some reason, I find divorced men who have kids living with their mother to be a turn off.
I feel that they made their families and now they are dating while the brunt of child care is now on their ex wife.
Maybe it's ignorant of me, I don't know. I really admire men who LIVE with their children or I'd prefer to date men who didnt have children at all.
I guess the purpose of this post is mostly a rant..anyone identify with any of this?
I have the same questions except it's a second marriage? SM
A friend of mine is getting married for the second time. The first time around it was a huge, and I mean HUGE, affair with an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, huge Catholic wedding with a huge reception with food and free booze, etc. They registered at Macy's and expected everyone to get their presents from there. There China was over $100 for a place setting!
The couple divorced and now she is getting married again and has sent out invitations to all the festivities. She's planning another huge wedding and she has registered again at Macy's! Now, personally I feel this is just wrong. I think a small tasteful wedding is in order for the second go round and I don't think it is at all necessary to register anywhere for the second wedding. How much China can one person use? I mean, she got almost everything in her divorce!
I'm sort of a down to earth, pratical kind of person so Wal-Mart dishes are fine with me, so I guess maybe I'm not the best person to understand wedding traditions and etiquette, but do I really need to go to Macy's and get another expensive wedding gift?
Lots of questions
1. How old is the first house? The one with the sewing room and the carpet coming up?
2. How many sq ft is the second house - the newer one?
3. Have the rest of the houses in your neighborhood appreciated 66% in the last five years? (from $75,000 to $125,000)
Your husband has a good idea about putting the money in savings for six months to make sure you can afford to pay a mortgage that is twice what you are paying now. And after six months, you will have $1800 more to put down on the house.
This is strictly personal experience - but last summer we moved from a 25-year-old house to a brand new one. We lived in the 25yo house for 12 years, and the money we spent remodeling and updating (+ original price) it would have bought us a brand new house of the same size. So I would say go for the newer house if it comes to a choice. Older houses can be a LOT of work.
OTOH, you say your husband likes woodworking. If you're willing to live in a house that is in a perpetual state of remodeling...go for it!
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