Question about son, school, teacher, and boyfriend
Posted By: A bit upset on 2008-04-10
In Reply to:
Okay, please tell me I am wrong -
Today I went to my son's school for a parent/teacher conference. My boyfriend went on Monday to pick up his report card, as my son, daughter, and I were out of state at a funeral. My son did not do well at all this marking period and it is basically due to his laziness. Well, evidently, on Monday the teacher and the boyfriend had a lengthy discussion and came up with the punishment and the plan for the next 9 weeks of school. I was informed of his report card via phone call Monday night and told we needed to be there for a conference on Thursday - nope, no conference requested until now, so I mistakenly assumed he was okay in school.
Okay, go to the conference with boyfriend and from the start I can tell I am really not part of the plan by the seating arrangements. My son is at the front, they AR on each side of him and I am somewhere towards the back. Boyfriend takes control and the teacher pretty much turns all conversation to him and son. I try to intervene on several occasions and sort of get lost by THEIR dialogue. THEY decide that whenever there is a problem she will call boyfriend and let him know and then refers to both of us as "parental units" and I sort of start seething now. I try over and over to be heard and ask questions, all the time pretty mmuch brushed to the back burner.
Fast forward a bit - the teacher walk out of the room and I follow her and tell her that I am NOT a "parental unit" but his mother and that all and any conversations about my son's welfare will be had with me and to only call me. She looked at me like she was baffled
I know that I gave the boyfriend too much rope there (we do all live together) in the first place, but all I expected him to do was pick up the report card, not decide his life and the teacher never called me previously to tell me there was a problem in the first place, so why would I think any different Please advise me on this because I feel like dirt right now.
TIA!!!
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Maybe the teacher doesn't realize his boyfriend and not dad? I would inform her immediately! sm
Does your boyfriend live there? Have you been together a long time? If not, he is way overstepping his bounds and I would immediately put a stop to it.
high school boyfriend . . .
Emailed me through classmates.com. We talked on the phone a few times. He sent me pictures of reunions that I never went to. Turns out our lives took very similar paths. A few other classmates Emailed as well.
My high school boyfriend went on to become a
comic. While he is not famous yet, he has done pretty well and he was on CMT a few weeks ago with a couple of other comedians. So funny you ask this today, my parents are at Grocery Food convention about 7 hours from here and he was actucally the entertainment last night. He goes by Kelly Terranova.
A teacher at my son's school...
on the radio! Isn't that AWESOME...especially since teachers are highly underpaid...just wanted to share...
Would like opinions about a school/teacher
Just looking for outside viewpoints about this scenario:
A child with autism, so perception issues, believes that his teacher hates him and the teacher is aware of this. So, a couple of weeks after discussion with the teacher, she states to the class, "You know what I hate about ______ (insert child's name here)? When he acts like I'm a complete idiot . . ."
When my son was 3 he once said to his nursery school teacher . . .
"Do you have nipples". Came out of the blue. Just ran up to her one morning and blurted that one out. I'm sure it was related to the fact that his little brother was an infant and nursing. It had us all laughing, but I was still embarrassed. No lead-up to that one at all! I was glad he only went two mornings a week. At least I didn't have to face her EVERY morning! :)
High school teacher rudeness...sm
My daughter got a role in the upcoming spring musical. The drama teacher hasn't published a practice schedule and so far my daughter has called every day with the time to be picked up. I've sent the teacher 2 e-mails asking for a written only to get no response. Today I've sent her another e-mail with a CC to the principal stating this is very rude of her to not publish a schedule and expect parents to be available "whenever" she feels like having practice end with the kids not being told the schedule until they arrive to drama class. My daughter says that several kids have told the drama teacher that they couldn't stay on some of these days she's called practice after school.
Have any of you ever encountered such rudeness and unpreparedness by a teacher? If she doesn't give us a schedule by the end of this week then my husband has told our daughter that she will have to drop out of the play. Practices so far have ended anywhere between 4:30-7:00 and I'm not going to sit around every day trying to guess what time they'll be done. Plus my daughter doesn't have a cell phone and we're not getting her one just to use for this. She's having to go to the school office to call us on her lunch time and miss part of lunch to place this call.
Where is this school district. My daughter the teacher has
ikl
That's for sure, but my nephew's wife is a school teacher and
actually lost a job some years back because she took a child by the shoulder to calm him down after disrupting the class. They are not permitted to do anything, and God knows so many of the homes these kids come from don't offer any kind of structure or discipline. It is a shame, but we are just letting the morals and beliefs we once stood for be taken over by thugs. The neighborhood I grew up in as a child was once a very nice neighborhood. No one dares go there now. It is in bad shape and filled with drugs and violence. It breaks my heart. 
IMHO school and teacher were about as far off base as you can go...
Anytime you work around another person, you subject yourself to being called names. The "American Public" needs to suck it up a bit. If a teacher can't handle being called a name behind his/her back, he/she has no business being a teacher or in any position of authority. Bosses get called names behind their backs all the time BY ADULTS who are quite well behaved, and children are notorious for wearing their emotions on their sleeves.
Had there been a threat involved, had it been done on school property, or had the kid called the name to the face (insubordination), then the school would have had a complaint. In the absence of any of the above, school has no business there.
Were it my kid, I would explain discretion and drive on. Some of my kid's teachers have been *****es, and I have no problem with calling a spade a spade, but I do have issues with insubordination. A personal blog from home is in no way insubordination at school.
FLAME AWAY, but the kid has as much right to state her opinion as anyone else, and sometimes the truth hurts. I'm fat. I accept that. If someone points it out to me, it hurts my feelings, but it doesn't make me skinny. BTW, I'm also a b***h in certain circumstances, and have no desire to change. As a society, we need to quit being afraid someone isn't going to like us or might call us a name and realize we're no better than spinach in that some folks will like us and some won't, and that should not change our individual purposes a single bit. Used to be we were taught "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Now we've decided that words are as bad as sticks and stones. When you cause someone to swallow their feelings long enough, something's going to break, and then you'll be lucky to just get sticks and stones. IMHO, this is where the root of much of the violence is, and if we'd quit trying to be Orwell's Thought Police, we might actually see a reduction in violence, suicide, and depression.
Our school asks that you not give gifts to the teacher...
which is odd to me so I do it anyway. I always give a $20 gift card to Staples to my children's teachers because I know they spend a lot of their own money to teach our children so I think a gift card to an office supply store is a great idea and is always appreciated. I just give it in a card.
Because my biological child is a high school science teacher who
NM
Yes, and friends too. But school is where kids learn facts, so whatever their teacher says (sm)
they are going to think it must be right. I think that is unfair leverage to use to support your own point of view as a teacher.
Okay, don't know why I am finally posting, I was molested by a teacher in Jr. High school repeate
nm
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.
I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.
Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
Don't know, but if he was my new boyfriend
I would try to put a stop to it or walk away. But that's just me.
My boyfriend & Sex.
LOL, just kidding!!!:)
I had a boyfriend that was gay.
I wasn't completely surprised when he told me as I think I knew in my heart he was. Little clues here and there. The best you can do is talk to him about it. Good luck to him and to you!
Only had 1 boyfriend and I married him
Starting dating at 15, got married when I was 20. I was always too shy to talk to boys ;-)
That reminded me of a boyfriend I had
once who repeatedly had to go to the ER because he superglued his eyelashes shut. He was in his late teens and liked to build model cars, and I guess he couldn't remember not to touch his eye with superglue on his hand.
He was a friend of ex-boyfriend
When I was 18, my boyfriend and I broke up. I started dating my husband, and the ex started dating a girl that hated me, who he also eventually married. I got to keep all his friends though because they liked me better than his future bride! Wasn't high school great?!? All that drama.
We are still together 26 years later and still friends with the same gang of guys. Minus the ex, of course! LOL
Doing for her boyfriend's enjoyment?
There is a real old saying, think it goes "fool's names and fool's faces are often seen in public places." She was old enough to know better. Want to act adult, let her suffer some adult sized consequences. I feel no sympathy for the girl.
Boyfriend always interrupts my sentences
I can almost never finish a sentence. Doesn't matter what I'm saying, or when, or where, I get cut off. If I manage to string 2 or 3 short sentences together he is already off in dreamland and either cuts me off to go to a topic he likes or else he just isn't listening. As a result of all this he doesn't hear the sometimes-critical information that I provide.
I've tried just not saying anything when he does this, just clamming up and thinking he will ask me to repeat what I said....but he doesn't. He doesn't even notice!!
I have also gotten testy, weepy and upset and at times even-tempered and sincere in asking him to please let me finish my sentences but I don't get very far because...you guessed it....he doesn't let me finish that request....
Any other ideas? I know there must be other women/men with this problem from their spouses/significant others.
My sister's former boyfriend was almost 60 and bragging that he could get s/m
a woman in her 20s. Always looking, always bragging, always wanting. What a joke. I met many guys in their 50s trying to find woman in their 20s and 30s. I guess anyone can dream. 
The operative word here is boyfriend...
which we all know can come and go. You are his mother, it doesn't matter if you all live together, you should be the one deciding and planning things with the teacer. Until he is the stepfather or has adopted him, he should have little to no input about child rearing. Is this the person who will be responsible for your children if God forbid anything should happen to you? If so, then by all means he should be more involved. Hate to be blunt, but this relationship could always end. You're the mom, he is a person who lives in the house.
Cheating spouse/boyfriend, etc.
Many years ago I was married to a cheating spouse. I was pregnant with our second child when he took it upon himself to cheat with an underage girl in the back of our brand new station wagon. Well, I learned about this when a paternity suit came up with his name on it. Apparently he was so dumb that he did not know the girl had a boyfriend and being the sucker that he was he did not know that they would pin the paternity on him, and get money from him. Too bad it wasn't in this day and time because he would have been in jail because she was only 17, and he was in his 30s. This was only 1 in a string of women that I found out after the fact, and even contracted an STD when I was pregnant!! I also suffered spousal abuse, and have the scars to prove it. After 5 years of this I got out,and the only reason I stayed was for the children, but that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, whenever, I hear or see this on a program it makes me furious that these men think this behavior is okay. It is never okay and leaves many people, including children, to suffer much heartache.
I actually think this one is cute, but my boyfriend who is actually very educated says (sm)
He gets *heart flapitations* and I thought it was so adorable I've never corrected him. Don't worry, this is during moments of *ahem* intense exercise; he does not need medical attention!
My daughter's boyfriend's hair is the
most gorgeous long blond hair you have ever seen. It just makes me sick!!!!!!!!!
haha, my boyfriend was just telling me about this....
Less than 2,000, but the cost of living and such there compared to here, wonder how much it would be if they sold it around here? But, it has no air bags, uses "adhesive" instead of welded on parts, I wonder how great and safe of a car that would really be?
I married my twin sister's boyfriend
:)
If I allowed my daughter to have a live in boyfriend I would at least
have put her on Depo. What did she think was gonna happen?
p.s.--he's NINTEEN!!
my boyfriend (who is buying the car) wants me to get a Honda - I want a convertible! nm
x
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
My Boyfriend and I made our vacation plans last night
My Boyfriend and I made our vacation plans last night, we decided to go to a local beach (well, its 4hrs away) but have decided to make it a romantic one (close your eyes sis) So instead of spending money on gas and cheap hotels on our first vacation plan (minnesota) we decided to spend the money by going somewhere local on nice hotel rooms. One room offers a Romantic package which includes Bubble bath, Champaine (we don't drink, but one day wont hurt us) and a few other stuff to pamper yourself's with. My family and I used to go to this beach/town every summer and I haven't been there in a few years so I am really looking foward to going, plus he has never been there before so it will be really fun showing him where to go and where to eat.
Ok, here is the hard part. We are going to the beach..which we try to go at least once a month (our usual spot is 2hrs away) but this time it's different, we will be spending 2 weeks there and I want to be able to wear a bathing suit (or at least shorts and a tanktop).....so I need to get my butt into shape....This is where all of you come in (if you are willing to help) I need advice, inspiration, tips, reciepes, workout tips, prayers anything that will help me lose weight! Our trip is in August and I want to lose 50lbs I realize that's a short amount of time and a lot of weight so I am making a mini goal of 30lbs.
Just read on line that rapper JAY Z who is Beyonce's boyfriend may have sm
been in an airplane crash in the Smoky Mountains today. Praying this is only a rumor and not true. How sad that would be. I am not a fan of rap music or really even pop music, but I can't seem to find anything on this other than one big named news website. Anyone else hear anything??
I MEANT "BF" (boyfriend), not BP! egads... TYPO-LAND!
.
Only 10 days til Christmas? I've only bought a gift for my boyfriend so far ...
AND I'M MARRIED!
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
teacher
The law better get to her before I do!!
I had a teacher like that when I was 7, and I
went from never wanting to miss a day of learning at school, to depression, stomach aches (both real and fake, to get me sent home), and from then on detested every minute spent in school. It only takes one rotten teacher to ruin your future.
Where is the teacher from?
Where I am from, everyone uses terms like sweetie, honey, hun, sugar, etc., interchangeably for males and females. They are terms of kindness and not necessarily terms of intimate endearment or disparaging sexisms. Now if she called your child something along the lines of Sugar Britches that would be another matter.
From a teacher's
perspective. I taught Adult School but I had some high school students in my class. We were mandated by state law to report all weapons, threats, signs of abuse immediately. If a report was made to a teacher it had to be reported to the administration and administration had to report it to the local authorities. If administration took no action in your son's case, heads should be rolling about now. I would contact the local police department (go in in person if you can) and report the incident to them. Tell them what your child has witnessed, been threatened with, overheard, the "harm list" etc. and ask the police to handle the case. If the school knew about it and didn't act on it and heads roll so be it. I would rather have a school administrator fired than have even one child injured/killed let alone another Columbine incident. It is the school's responsibility and they have apparently dropped the ball, so go over their heads. One more question, who is this kid? Someone high up in your city, parent's have money, pull or social status? In other words is it being glossed over because of whose kid it is?
That was the letter he was given by the teacher. nm
x
What a good teacher you are. sm
You're not only making the parents happy, but showing a good example to the kids. Good for you and Merry Christmas.
Yes I would - it's not the teacher's place to do this....sm
shouldn't they be spending time teaching anyway instead of being worried about what kids do and don't believe in outside of the classroom?
Teachers are being allowed to do whatever they want this day in time. My high schooler listens to her biology teacher rant and rave each day about the "evils" of eating meat and she's sick of hearing it every day and is anxious for the end of the semester next week to get rid of this obsessive teacher.
To the teacher? Sadly, nothing. To my son: SM
I just told him that sadly some people don't believe in Angels and God, but that we know they are for real. I told him about different things that have happened in our lives that showed us that they were real and told him we should just remember to pray for his teacher at night and to just not talk about it with her at school.
I was really mad at her and practiced in my head what I wanted to say to her, but unfortunately (or fortunately) I never had the guts to confront her about it. I thought I was over it (this happened 8 years ago!), but I'm feeling angry all over again right now. Oh well...let it go Chickadee! :) 
Chickadee
teacher's gift
If your kid has the teacher in the above posting, you could send him a few good lesbian porno websites.
Don't everyone tell me how rotten I am - it was too funny to see this post right after the one about the teacher with the porn on his computer.
for teacher of 6 years
My son is graduating from 5th grade this year. He's had a most wonderful speech therapist at school for the last 6 years, and I would like to get her something really nice, but appropriate. She is a super speech therapist, and just one of the sweetest people. She really helped my son with his speech impediment, and I'ld like to show my appreciation in some way materially. Any suggestions? Thanks
I would talk with the teacher first
some of the above posts are wanting to tar and feather- it is NORMAL having a period. Do you stop your life when pregnant?? I was talking to the post about why get an excuse from a physician to lay out when on a period. These children now are a lot more advanced than we were in years past and boys, even in their immaturity, know about periods and such. Kids are going to sex classes together long before 13 and OMG, they learn things such as this. I would never ever listen to a child before talking with the adult involved and make sure the story is straight- then and only then would I either talk with the teacher 1:1 or if no satisfaction then, talk with highers. I posted to the listing above saying to get excuse from physician. That is laughable.
Talk with the teacher
I would schedule a meeting with the teacher. Tell her your daughter handles the tasks concerning her with no problem at home and ask what exactly is going on that has her concerned.
I would also talk with your child to see if any of her comments shed some insight into how things are going at school and the type of interaction with the teacher.
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