Question about mortgage and divorce...sm

Is the only way to get my name off a mortgage is to have my ex either refinance or sell the place?

Thanks

• Question about mortgage and divorce...sm - AJS
  • From Pennsylvania...sm - Anon
  • you can pay attorney for an Order To Refinance for Ex; if he can't finance, - you lose money paid for attorney. n/m
  • I think different states may differ in rules... - sm

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a family member needs to get a mortgage for a home they are currently "buying" from a friend on contract.  I say "buying" in a very loose term, because I am not sure that they even have a written agreement, sometimes it sounds like they are just "renting".  Anyway, credit is a problem for them.. bankruptcy 7+ years ago, collection accounts they are currently paying on, etc. and probably some current finance company bills and "of course" the "new-used SUV" they got about 8 months ago.  You all know what I'm saying here, this is not a "one time credit problem".... Supposedly, they tried one mortgage company but, according to the wife, after about 3 months they got mortgage approval but PMI insurer turned them down.  They actually have a good deal on the home, appraised at approx 90,000 and they are buying it for approx $78,000, so there is some equity.  Of course, they have actually no $$$ to really put down.  The situation is that they have been living there a few years and the seller "a friend of theirs" needs the cash by October, so that he can purchase a property he is currently buying on contract from his sister, who needs the money now, etc. and on and on it goes.  Anyway, if they cannot come up with a mortgage, they are out, have to move and of course, they will be trying to hit us up for cash or, heaven forbid, a place to live!!!   I need any suggestions anyone has or any names of mortgage companies that deal with this particular situation. The wife called us and asked us to co-sign, but that's out of the question.  Appreciate any advice

I am looking to buy a house that is $185,000.  From the sale of my current home, I will make $165,000 and will use all of that as a down payment.  Obviously, I am 20k short.  I don't have the best credit (low FICO score) so I am looking for a mortgage company that will loan me what I am short with bad credit.  Anyone know of any?

Thanks

My children were 14 and 11 at the time of my divorce, they are now 24 and 21 and are happy productive adults that any mother would be proud of. Not to say it wasn`t a very hard thing to go through, but all the fighting is very hard on the children to. I remember my daughter telling me that if I was to ever take her dad back she would be very mad at me, what does that tell you, if your children are old enough, talk to them about their feeling and fears.

Also, their dad got in their in there head and promised them all kinds of things that never came to past, to get them to stay with him so he didn`t have to pay child support,so be ready for that to, but as I said it didn`t take my daughter long to figure that all out, now she is grown and married and her and her dad hardly speak, which breaks my heart, it not fair that a child should have to do without either parent. Anyway I could go on about this subject all night cause it is a heartbreaking thing for all involved.

But you are the only one that know if it`s worth hanging on to.

my prayer`s go out to you in whatever you decide.

It's time DH and I end our marriage. It's not a good situation for any of us. Long story short, DH thinks it is me because I'm a miserable B**ch. All I know is DH is an alcoholic, which overpowers everything, so I have no idea, in all honesty, what lies beneath. The kids and I pretty much know every morning when we get up that today will end like every other day with dad coming home after his six pack +, feeling guilty, looking for imperfections in everyone else to gripe about to avoid the fact that he's drunk once again, and no mater how much we try, in the end, in an argument.

I'm mad at DH for choosing the alcohol over his family, I'm angry at myself for staying longer than I should have, etc., etc., etc.

I've decided the bottom line is that I want healthier, more peaceful, and more productive lives for myself and my kids. In the best interest of my children, he is their father and no matter how much hostility I feel towards him, the best thing for my children is that neither of their parents ends up destroyed or broke over the divorce. Basically, I want to remain focused on the goal of providing a better life to myself and my children, including not contributing to the destruction of their father. My suspicion is he is going to end up destroying himself anyway, but I honestly don't want to force that to happen. The optimal outcome for the kids would be to end up with two emotionally stable and financially secure parents. Is it possible to end the marriage without destroying the kids?  Is it possible to stay focused on the ultimate goal of having a more peaceful and satisfying life for you and the kids and to just let go of anything that does not make a positive contribution toward that effort?  Has anyone successfully managed an "amicable" divorce, or at least as amicable as possible?  I've already wasted 15 years on a marriage I knew all along was never going to be successfull no matter how much I  wanted it to be. Any advice?

After a divorce is final...what are your thoughts on the mother and her child requesting that their names be changed back to her maiden name?

"Traditionally, courts ruled that a father had an automatic right to have his child keep his last name if he continued to actively perform his parental role. Although there is still some bias in this direction, it is no longer strictly true. Now a child's name may be changed by court petition when it is clearly in the best interest of the child to do so. When deciding whether to grant a name change, courts consider many factors, such as the length of time the father's name has been used, the strength of the mother-child relationship and the need of the child to identify with a new family unit (if the change involves remarriage). The courts must balance these factors against the strength and importance of the father-child relationship. What this all boils down to is that it's up to a judge to decide which name is in the child's best interest."

What would really be in the childs best interest if he doesn't grow to know his father anyway? keep the last name? or change it?

Find out what your rights are in your state. If the children are staying with you, then your husband should be the one to leave. It doesn't matter if he says he won't do it. It matters what the law says he will do. If you have a court order telling him to leave, he will either leave or go to jail.

I understand how difficult this is, I really do. I have been married a long time and have come very close to divorce, to the point of physical separation, twice. No matter how bad the situation is, your life is entwined with your husband's and it hurts to break those ties.

But for your sake and the sake of your children, you need to do it. And you need to be prepared. That is why you must to have someone on your side who knows the law and can help you make sure you and your children are protected and get everything that you need and deserve.

I will NEVER be able to understand why women put up with stuff like this. Your husband sounds like an ***. 

I have - or had - a friend whose husband was like this.  Very controlling.  They fought all the time because unlike you, she WOULD push the issue constantly. The fights eventually became physical. After so many times of her crying on my shoulder and asking for advice (my advice was pretty obvious), I finally decided I couldn't be her friend anymore.  I did care for her, but I can't be the shoulder ever time he hits her and then be waiting for the next time to say the same things again.

It bothers me a lot that women put up with controlling jerks like that, and I just can't stomach being part of it. That is your sister! Who is he to tell you that you can't see her?

Ugh, this kind of stuff makes my stomach turn.

I never thought this would happen to me, but after 3 visits, my psychiatrist says that I'm wasting my life and my husband's by staying in this marriage.  DH hasn't fallen out of love, but I married for the wrong reasons and life has gotten stressful and I've been so depressed I wanted to die.  This MD says my marriage is a goner and I need to face it and get out.  These are terrible economic times to try to go it alone, and one of my problems with my marriage is that we have not managed money well, so I'll come out of it with more debt than equity.  And what a terrible time to try to sell a house.  Yuck. 

Oddly I found somebody with a townhouse with a room to rent and a separate bathroom near my work.  It would cut my commute down to nothing, and I really wish I could move right in and get on with my life.  So I guess the psychiatrist is right, but am I up to all the work ahead to get out on my own and survive??