Posters are correct, child support diff from visitation
Posted By: They COULD garnish your salary though...sm on 2007-06-19
In Reply to: Yes. There is a reason. I am a little behind on child support. sm - sad mom
Just because a parent is behind on child support does NOT mean you lost your visitation rights, even if you went to court and tried making restitution. What the courts might do is GARNISH your salary (if employed) with some going towards back child support. I am not sure if all states are the same, but I would think they are on this subject, but again, I'm not sure. Florida works this way though, this I can assure you.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
child support
Mine owes over $76,000.
child support
I'm in southern Idaho and I was shocked one day to read in the paper that only 10% of people here who are supposed to pay child support are current on their payments. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't realize it was that bad. I generally think my ex is a selfish jerk, but I do give him credit that he has always paid his child support and it's no small amount ($1000 a month). Sometimes I think I'd rather have him out of our lives and give up the support payments, but then I realize that it's best for the kids to have a relationship with him (unless he was abusive, which he's not, just self-absorbed).
She was getting a lot of child support before and --
her exhusband just got out of the military and now refuses to give her any money. He is in another state and is not working anymore and says he does not have to.
Yes. There is a reason. I am a little behind on child support. sm
So, I am scared that it will be used against me. I get my son anything he needs and he is very well taken care of by the both of us. Very well. I fell on some hard times last year and I am now behind.
So, if I take this to court that will be held against me and I may lose him forever.
I did NOT want to go into any detail with my post. I just wanted to say that i was having a very hard day and was sad about the entire situation. That's all. Thanks for your caring.
Child support questions
I hope I'm on the right board here. :D I have 2 kids and have been divorced 4-1/2 years. I have had a child support order in effect since around 3 years ago, which included back pay for the whole 4-1/2 years. This was for (don't laugh) $125 a month. I FINALLY just started getting this support about a month ago. First, it was $25-something a week and the past couple weeks, it has dropped down to $9.65. I believe this is automatically coming out of his paycheck (this is the first job he's had in forever). He tells me he has a very good job in trucking and so, what my question is, if I go back to court to modify that order, to get more, since he now has a job, will I need an attorney, or can I do that on my own? I'm really thinking it won't even be worth the time and money with a lawyer, but I would like to have it modified, since he has an income. To add to that, I am paying $250 for the kids' insurance, and I wasn't when the original order was made. He also tells me he just bought a house (which is likely baloney, anyway), but if he can afford a house, surely he can afford more than $36 a month in child support.
PS: Per the handy-dandy canculator on the state website, figuring both our incomes in (what he claims to be getting, anyway), he should be owing between $1500 and $1800.
Thanks, y'all!
I got it! Tell him 1 more kid will equal a lot more child support after the divorce : )
x
rant! who's owed the most child support?
mine is currently in arrears in the amount of $23,775 --- he inherited MILLIONS when his father died -- he refuses to work, he's never paid me a dime.... my case worker is attempting to put a lien on his $1/2-million home in Vegas.. Blessed with this child, but sure would like some support, maybe not have to work two jobs...
I'm so glad you're all here for ranting.... thanks, friends.
Of course he should help and he paid child support because they are his kids (nm)
x
I did not receive any child support, so we agreed to
split all bills evenly as we have joint custody. That is what our papers say, that we split all major expenses, i.e., clothes, school supplies, education fees, etc.
Good point! Maybe he should have to pay child support!
!
Child support - must depend on state, my
x
Update traffic court/child support
Well, I managed to make it to family court yesterday and back home while flying low :) My son-in-law walked out 5 months in arrears and next payment due 3/1, already in debt for about 2 grand, plus he has to pay for the DNA test (99.999% - ha, didn't need Maury after all!) My daughter is $1500 in arrears with another payment due 3/1, and her order has been moved over into the category to take any Federal Income Tax refunds she gets in the future to be applied to the order. So now, finally, I should have no further court appearances unless the two want to TPR (terminpate parental rights) and let me adopt. The next step for my daughter is jail if she doesn't pay in March, so she is already making noises she might let me adopt. The dud has wanted to me to adopt her all along to avoid CS.
I went to municipal court and had the arrest warrant removed and was given another 2 months to pay the s-t-u-p-i-d ticket. I asked whether the judge would accept that I corrected the tag problem the next day and was told no. If it was expired at the time the ticket was written, then they do not make exceptions. I checked our local newspaper and the city hired 11 new officers in 2006 for the specific purpose of enforcing vehicle/driving codes in the city. They have increased the number of traffic-related tickets issued to almost 18,000 in 2006, up from less than 8,000 in 2004. Now I just have to remember to pay it, but did buy a new day planner today and have written 3 reminders to myself to pay it on time 
On another note, as I have no health insurance and need certain maintenance medications (almost $1000) a month, I found needymeds.com. I have already received a 3-month supply of one drug and will be receiving another each month shipped to my doctor's office. The manufacturers help people who fall between the cracks by providing free medications.
I feel a lot better about things. 
Don't you watch Judge Judy? Being behind in child support sm
does not disqualify you from seeing your children. It's true! LOL
Child support works by you supplying info to them
You need to contact the state - to supply where the other parent works....they don't track 'em down - you have to supply the info and everytime the other parent changes jobs, you have to call CS and supply them with the new info. Believe me, I did this from the time my child was 9 until 18......
You supply the info and you keep on CS behinds..........don't know what state you live in but in the 21st Century here in the USA - they are gunning for deadbeat parents
AND I live in a huge metropolitan area where said CS was gotten from...20 million people in my state......
If father thought child support was not being spent
x
I guess, different men in diff areas...sm
It's funny the comparison here....as I have one daughter (an only) who is 26 and she is the most thoughtful, giving, so not a me-me-me type of person, it's amazing. However, I taught her to be that way, to always think of others, and she does. Perhaps I just *lucked* out. I'm not sure. But I am so thankful EVERY DAY for this type of daughter!!! BTW, she did NOT inherit these good traits that I speak of from her father, who is a me-me-me type. (European/French)
Doubt diff. vet will recommend anything without
x
If you wanted DS visitation bad enough, you WOULD get
df
If you already have visitation rights. sm
Sounds like her rights to see her son are totally controlled by the dad.
I heard she has made his visitation (sm)
very difficult to say the least. I'm not condoning what he said, but sometimes you just reach a level of frustration, and out it comes. They need family counseling even though they're not together.
Something similar with father visitation
for my child. I explained to my child his father may or may not be here. Be upfront with a child, no use in covering up, no use in confronting in-laws. Just tell the child to be pleased if they get a gift and if not just know sometimes the other person just forgets. Mine handled it really well and no questions.
p.s. make sure you check your tire pressure... I've been reading it makes a diff. nm
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
Where to get posters, etc. sm
My granddaughter's birthday in June, hope to get some favors, etc. I hate to jump on the bandwagon as I don't like all this stuff of kids growing up too soon. I hate to see them get out of princess and Cinderella. Oh well, any ideas on how to get ahead of the game - only the 1 and 2 grades invited, I find it sad that they don't have good old fashioned values but guess I'm history. PS: They do go to church, etc., for those who are ready to attack with other ideations. Peer pressure, sick of it all. Nice girls, pure and simple but getting into the bogus world of peer pressure. Confused!!
LOL to both those posters. I wish I were
clever enough to think of something... but more gullible, I would be the recipient of such a trick. This is why I work at home. :)
I'm not referring to the posters...sm
who disagree as being busybodies, but people who make a stink about this issue in general...Never said it was the disagreeing posters who are the busybodies...read carefully....
You know, I don't know, but I would tend to believe the other posters have hit
the nail on the head that it is a comfort zone and perhaps he cannot or will not be without a woman. He is not terribly outgoing, so I do suspect he has esteem issues of his own. In any case, I think I will follow the advice here and wait and see what life brings and not try to settle for less than.
Agree with other posters, plus...
She was punished in school. Unless something really, really bad (which thankfully never happened), I would let school behavior be dealt with at school and home behavior dealt with at home. However, I let my kids know that in no uncertain terms, the teacher had my blessing in dealing with them in the appropriate manner (pretty scary lol).
But I have to say, and please do not take offense, but she wanted a book... not a toy... for some reason that just breaks my heart. I guess because my daughter loves books and they are her world (now an English major with college professor aspirations).
Anyhow, no one is perfect, kids nor parents.
I was one of the posters in the dicsussion below
and I said that I asked my 14yr old DD how many girls she knew that were pregnant. She said 0. She just finished middle school and will start high school with my DS this fall. Picked him up from Washington DC yesterday and told him about the discussion. He will be a junior this fall. Asked him how many girls were preggers and he said if it is not a rumor, then 13. I was shocked. Guess I was being fooled by many. But once again, I do know some really good girls, my DD included.
So I will apologize to both posters
the one who called me looney and the other who called me juvenile. Sorry if I offended you both...I find this board to be both a comfort and a place I can vent and hopefully help those who ask for advice or help with terminology. I don't want to come off as rude...I was just feeling a little hurt, as I would never call someone here a negative name, as I feel we are commrades...Hope that makes sense....I will shut up now and let this go...Just feeling sad that my good intentions turned sour. No hard feelings? None here.
I'd have to agree with the other posters.
He sounds very controlling. I was married to that and it took me 13 years to get away from the mental abuse and longer to "regroup." My situation was extreme. I grew up in a household in the days where "the man was the boss and you did what they said." So, when I married young, I viewed my husband as my "boss" or "master" and I was supposed to do as he said and NEVER talk back. I was allowed no friends, could not socialize or work outside of the home because other men may be at the place I might work. I was timed when I went to the grocery store and one time I took too long and he locked me it of the house..it was my son's birthday.. He also watched our house from his work with binoculars so he would know when and if I left the house and if any men came over. Well, after finally getting a job, getting out in the "real" world, I found out that people didn't live that way. The women I worked with actually had friends, could have lunch with them etc.. I remember them all inviting me out to lunch while at work, and I remember being terrified that he'd "catch" me out somewhere other than work and I would get in trouble. Once, I figured out this treatment was wrong, I decided to fight back, and the first time I talked back, he went nuts..threatening to cut off all my hair so no one would want me if I left him etc..This insanity continued until God came me the strength to leave. The first thing I did was enroll in college at age 27, having never even finished high school, but I was ready for college and I knew I had to do it if I ever wanted to get out of there and support myself. He made my life so miserable while I went to school and most days I just wanted to quit and give up, but I didn't. I just kept going and thank goodness. Long story short. I started my life over at 30 and have never looked back. I was single for 8 years before I got married again. It took me that long to fix myself so that I would never again put up with that crap. So, NOW, I'm the boss and it's my way or I'll slap his beak off LOL. On a serious note, I don't mean to pass judgment but your husband sounds too controlling and it's time to stand up now or forever hold your peace. I remember being called a fat a#$#$@# when I weighed 120 lb. I was scared to eat and get fat because he berated me. Mind you, this man got to 325 lb but I was the fat a#$#$#@.. Yes, life is good now. I'm my own person and married to the man of my dreams and who worships the ground I walk on..the way it should be...LOL Best wishes to you. No one deserves to be treated less than equal.
I think you get the picture of the posters
xx
Yeah they do need posters over there
I've already got in trouble for posting that it was boring over there and got an e-mail that was rather defensive because I even said it and I did say it nicely.
There are no job ads; same ole Diskriter, Focus...
Same posters all the time... blah, blah 
I've tried several times to seem interested, but it's just the same ole boring stuff.. This board is much more exciting and informative.
I agree with the posters below.
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch.
Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good.
Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesn't understand but will some day. Even if he had 30 presents, he would still think "where's the rest" as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same.
Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.
I agree with the other posters.
Definitely go up atleast 1 size.
I am pregnant now. I haven't even had a shower yet and everyone is giving me newborn stuff. I guess it is what everyone likes to give but forget that they are not in them very long.
If anyone else gave her diapers for her shower or just to be nice when they come to see the baby, odds are they will give her newborns. I have also heard that some hospitals allow you to take home with you what newborn diapers are left in the room on discharge so she may have those too. I'm sure it is not a lot but it all adds up.
I agree with most of the other posters.
I have an 11yo stepson. At his biomom's house he stays home alone for about an hour by himself after school and rides the bus home. He has been doing it since 3rd grade and he is still scared out of his mind when he does. We have talked about safety and all the rest with him to make sure he can make the best decision possible when home alone because it is out of our control. We do not leave him alone during our parenting time. He is a great kid but this doesn't have as much to do with him as with other people. You can't trust anyone. When it comes down to it, a kid will be a kid and when people get scared they forget things. He does have 3 teachers from his school that live on the same street and the walk from the bus is not far but things can happen very quickly and you don't know who you can trust these days.
I agree with most of the posters below, but I would
also like to add that it sounds like he needs a job or some form of exercise and male companionship. If he's not currently working, I take it that financially it's not hurting you. Therefore, it doesn't matter if he takes a minimum wage job -- clerking at a hardware store, etc. This will give him some self-worth, get him out of your hair and hopefully give him an outlet to talk about some of these world topics.
If he doesn't want to take a job, he should consider joining a gym. Exercise releases endorphins which makes you feel happy. It would also help with his figure. Maybe you could get a couples rate and go together. My hubs and I just joined our local gym. So far, we haven't gotten to go together because of the kids, but we both go separately with a friend.
I know what you mean about living in a small town. We live in a very small town -- population about 7000, 1 grocery store, 1 hardware store, 2 convenience stores, 2 dollar stores and a couple pizza/sandwich shops. But if you really want something, you'll find it. Maybe he just needs a gentle push.
If all else fails, you could give a call to his doctor and let him know about how he's been acting. His doctor could then discuss things with him (without letting him know that you've talked to him) and maybe prescribe some medication or run some tests that could find a medical cause for his negativity.
Good luck -- and as I said, I agree with what the other posters have said about changing yourself. My dad was the same way after he retired, but then he got a part-time job delivering furniture locally and joined the gym. He's a lot better now and my mom's grateful that he "talks" with his coworkers about some of the stuff he was bugging her with.
To the 2 posters who gave me info on WW ...
The Points system is the best. I'm joined the online program and keep my points tracker open all day.
Thanks for giving the information you did.
I agree with you; don't understand all these other posters
It's not like he is 4 or 5; he is 10.
True. Look at posters to this board who take bad
x
If this is so boring - why bother? they need posters over there can't you tell
by this thread?
Well, he WAS a prophet. Shame on cruel posters.
xx
Yeah, and it's always the ever-so-resentful posters who can't STAND sm
the fact that we are work-at-home MOMs!
I am so sick and tired of reading all of these negatives posts from those supermom's or those who abhor children, who sit on their high-horse and can't believe that we work at home with our children here. My children are very well behaved, very intelligent, LOVE ME BEING HERE, and I work doing MT and have been for about 8 years now.
Never, and I mean never, have I seen children with work-at-home parents kill someone, kill themself, become a drug addict, etc. Never. The ones that I see with all the issues are those parents who are A-B-S-E-N-T. Yes, I am yelling. I am just so sick and tired of all the backlash and negativity against us stay-at-home moms.
I think you are guiding your anger towards the wrong people. I don't know if your parents dropped you off somewhere when you were little, but you definitely have a problem to be so against us - and go so far as to call us inprofessional to be working from home. I have an idea. Why don't you NOT worry about us stay-at-home, work-at-home moms because your arguments carry absolutely no merit whatsoever. None.
As moms or dads, we are here. With them. And it does matter. They are thriving. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Before you start printing up posters and plastering
them all over town, campus, et cetera... remember there IS a little girl involved here with very tender feelings.
How long ago was his conviction or was it an accusation? What is the history behind the charges?
I beg you to PLEASE check with authorities and possibly a grief counselor for advice BEFORE you destroy a little girl who may have absolutely no idea of her father's past.
Posters here are giving great advice
I would definitely stash the savings before she got her hands on it. AND, I do believe she needs some help. Overspending can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. At the least, she needs budget counseling. You have to think past the moment, to the years ahead when you are both old and could possibly be broke.
We live in a double-wide trailer, older, but it is nice, and we are fixing it up room by room. Our mortgage is smaller than what rent would be. This is a conscious choice for us, knowing that if you choose the big fancy house, the big fancy payment comes with it. If you are already struggling, please stay where you are. I think you knew your answer before you asked us, just wanted affirmation, and all of the posters are wise on their advice. Best of luck to you.
Are you harsh posters cops or parents?
A little late to post, but here's my idea as a mom of 5. Get her out of the house, some place public, Starbucks or the bookstore - a place where she won't storm off and you'll both be civil to each other at least for a few minutes. Tell her you love her, be understanding and really talk to her. Ask her what is going on in her life, is she stressed about something in particular? Don't alienate her. There is a lot of life ahead for you both and this is not a permanent condition for her. If ALL you do is punish you risk sending her off in a bad direction. At the end of the conversation it may seem you got nowhere, but she'll think about things and hopefully be a bit less impulsive. Please post back and let us know how things go.
You are correct...
except for one thing: It was never a war. It was and is an illegal invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation. Since the invasion was illegal (based on lies) Mr. Bush is guilty of war crimes. Hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi's are dead - on Saddaam's worse day he never massacred like this...
And our news media WILL NOT tell you the truth on any day, but the numbers of US soldiers horribly wounded is astounding - all because of the many war profiteers - including mainstream media.
Everything you said is correct
The muslims are demanding foot baths in the airports so they can wash their feet. I think they might have gotten them somewhere, but not 100% sure. They are also the ones that threw the fit last Christmas about the Christmas decorations in an airport and none for whatever holiday they celebrate. AND THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS WERE TAKEN DOWN!! Now, I'm sorry, but something stinks here. I know this probably doesn't belong on this board and might be deleted, so I apologize in advance to the moderator, but I am so sick of the symbols of Christianity being shoved into a closet somewhere, especially at Christmas. I do not sent out holiday cards and I do not put up a holiday tree and my kids don't have winter break. I put Christmas in front of all of those words because that is the reason for the seaon, in my house at least!
Okay, stepping off my soapbox, bowing in apology to the moderator, and going about my business. Have a great day!
Oh, and to the OP, sorry you had to take YOUR decorations down, too. I just don't get it sometimes.
You are correct in a way sm
There is definitely something wrong with her, that's why we have to help her, that's all I'm saying. It's been out of her hands for a long time and she has had so many young people follow her that she needs to straighten up and "fly right" as my Mom used to say, so that the younger ones who adored her can learn that there is hope in recovery let's just pray she recovers. Your decision to not do this is totally correct for what you believe in. My take is a little different, I want her to straighten out and become a spokesperson for those who have become addicted and try to show remorse and accountability, which is going to be almost impossible but at least she could try. If she dies from her bad behavior, she will be a "saint" to those who still believe in her rise to stardom. (i.e., Anna Nichol, Marilyn, etc.).and extreme behavior. The young are vulnerable. Those of us who have walked our talk know better. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm hoping for a turnaround, that's all. Expect a miracle! Her children would benefit much more from their Mom in recovery becoming a power of example than dying drunk or stoned. Some speak from their own childhood experiences. I'm thinking of her little ones now more than her. I guess I've heard too much in my life (or is that hurt)? IMHO
You are all correct and thanks...
Causing it I believe is my own guilt that I am not doing everything 100%, job 110%, kids 110%, house, etc. And yes, I am forgetting about myself.
I don't want to quit my job at all, I remember that I love it. I just need to balance really my mind and time better so I take the stress off myself.
And you are correct. I did pamper myself already a bit today. Went to a local store having a sale and got a pair of shoes. Maybe go get a manicure tomorrow. I also took a major step and joined Gold's gym where I can finally get out of the house anytime I want and go on the bikes and I signed up for tanning hoping that the sunlight will cheer me. My little boy went and is excited about the Wii and rock climbing wall he can play on there when I am working out. So, doing these things today and tomorrow will make me better for my job, and my family. And for me! At least I hope I am doing the right thing. Of course, I have to type more now that I just spent money on shoes and the gym, but maybe those phermones from working out will kick in as well. Anybody else have suggestions would be dearly appreciated. And thanks for your kindness.:)
|
