Poll time... if your 15-year-old daughter....sm
Posted By: Inquiring mind on 2007-03-12
In Reply to:
has a paper due at school that was assigned a week ago, she procrastinated and didn't start writing it until the afternoon before the due date and didn't type it up until 11 p.m. at night, then knocked on your door to wake you up because she realized there was no printer printer would you:
A. Get dressed and go to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to get paper.
B. Tell her that it's too bad- she should have done her paper sooner than this and alerted you before 11 p.m. that there was no printer paper - especially when she has gone through a whole ream within a month printing out things like rock band and television star photos and other nonessential things.
(For the record - my husband & I did option B to help her learn a "life lesson" last night - she'll get a reduced grade for turning in the paper late but hopefully she'll learn to stop procrastinating on her school work - which is a chronic problem with her - even with her getting A's and B's.)
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Poll time - should a 12-17-year-old have adult language CDs and R-rated movies...sm
bought for them? My husband & I disagree on this. Our 15-year-old daughter wants a DVD from a rock group that has the adult language warnings on them and I don't want them to have any of them, but he doesn't see a problem with it. He says she can hear language like that at school but I don't think a kid should own it to listen to the foul mouthed stuff at their own leisure. What do you think?
Poll time ....do you exercise? sm
I make sure that I walk at least 1 mile 3 times a week. It's not as much as I should exercise but it beats nothing. What about you?
Poll time: What is the best vacuum cleaner out
We are talking hoses, cords, bagless, baggy, bulky, suctiony, heavy, you name it. I am looking for the perfect vacuum! Just moved from a house with central vac and I am going to miss it!!!
Thanks!!!
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
My 8-year-old daughter had the
flu a couple of weeks ago and she took Tamiflu and seemed to get over it pretty quick. Hubby also had it and got prescribed Flumadine b/c it was cheaper and he seemed to take a little longer to get over it, but he is a bigger baby than daughter also!
My 11-year-old daughter
staying with us for a week because her mother is out of state. She is a close friend with my daughter. Our family loves her and treats her like one of our own. Hoping this goes well but not naive enough to think that arguments may not arise with the two of them being together constantly for a week. There will be a break Saturday night, as she will be staying with her grandmother and returning here the next day. Just wondering if any of you have any suggestions to possibly prevent any chaos at my house. lol. Wish me luck!
My 16 year old daughter - sm
says that kids often way exaggerate on these places, especially about threatening suicide. That doesn't mean that some of them aren't serious, but probably the majority of them are looking for the drama.
So, while it probably wasn't a "joke" per se, it's also probably not nearly as scary as it sounds. She did the same kind of post at age 14 that I carried around with me while watching for other signs, but her grades stayed up, she showed no signs of cutting off her friends, etc. Just normal teen highs and lows, and time passed and so did that.
My point - Take a breath, calm your nerves, and just be watchful. It'll probably just turn out to be another phase.
16-year-old daughter - need help from all who have gone through this
Just found out that my 16-year-old, good kid, honor student, has been leading a double life for the past two years. I found out through some snooping and confronted her. She fessed up to drinking and smoking but swears no drugs. The times that I thought she was sleeping over at the house of her friends that I knew, she was apparently sleeping at random places with a bunch of other kids that I don't even know, as she feels that this is completely appropriate and was "doing nothing wrong". She swears she has not had sex. She apparently has a lot of guy friends and most of them I don't even know and did not even know existed.
She feels that now that she has come clean, I should be okay with this whole situation and allow her to continue to live her lifestyle that she simply "loves and is unwilling to give up". We have been fighting daily. I have not told her father about this, because he is "european" and would definitely come down hard on her and I don't even know what he would do. She tells me that she will definitely leave if I tell him.
She demands one day a week that she can sleep out whereever she pleases and I should be okay with that. I am not. I am at my wits end. She swears she will leave if I "don't leave her alone".
My rules are simple:
1. Home by curfew (11:30 friday and saturday) and 10 weeknights in the summer (but I don't feel she needs to go out every night and she disagrees).
2. I no longer let her take the care whenever she wants, as I don't trust her.
3. She can socialize with her friends and I will pick her up and drive her within reasonable distance close to home.
4. I can even learn to live with the drinking, as long as she gets home safe by my picking her up or having a safe ride home.
5. I don't want her sleeping out any more.
She is fighting me tooth and nail and is swearing she will leave the house if I don't "leave her alone".
We used to get along so well or so I thought, and now I find out she is a complete stranger and not at all the daughter I thought I had.
I am so depressed and don't know what to do. I don't want to have to tell my husband, but she is leaving me no choice but I am scared to death that she will leave. The worst part is that she knows my fear and is using it to get to me.
I desperately need some good sound advice.
Thanks and sorry so long.
I have a 13-year-old daughter myself
And as long as it was during the day, I was home, and she stayed where I could see them I wouldn't have a problem with the boys being at the house.
As for the pizza, trust your gut. I do let my daughter go to the pizza place in our town, but we live in a very small town, and I only let her go with her brothers (14&15) or with another girlfriend and I put a time limit on it.
It is something that girls her age are allowed to do, unfortunately, to many of them have no limitations at all. Only you know how far you can trust your daughter.
I have a 14 year old daughter also
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about.
Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.
My daughter had it over a year ago and
she is still suffering side effects. You do not get over it in 4 weeks.
P.S. I have a beautiful 8-year-old daughter from it all. nm
xx
My 16-year-old daughter smoking
I have known for about a year that my daughter has been smoking from time to time. I made it very clear to her that this was very unacceptable and absolutely would not be tolerated.
Apparently she has done a very good job at hiding it. Tonight when I was putting socks into her sock drawer, for some reason I decided to push aside her socks and, of course, I found a cigarette, but the filter had been cut off. I also saw several filters that had been cut off in her drawer. I asked her about it a little bit ago and naturally she stormed upstairs and wouldn't discuss it with me. This may sound incredibly naive, but I really don't know why the filters were cut off? Maybe to make the cigarette stronger? This thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I am at a loss here. She is a pretty good girl, an honor roll student, has lots of friends, but still loves to spend time with her family. I have grounded her in the past for this, but apparently that didn't get my point across. I would love to hear from parents with teenagers who have been through this before and have suggestions on how to deal with this. Also, I'm almost afraid to ask, but any ideas why the filters were cut off the cigarettes?
My daughter had these last year on her shoulders
I got ointment with aloe in it for burns that had also lidocaine and put loose gauze over top. The blister will pop on its own. It will probably be sore once it pops, so keep it covered with the gauze. I added the ointment to take away the sting. It will not hurt so much if you get the ointment. I covered them so they wouldn't get infected and "smart" while she slept.
There are 4-5 a year at my daughter's HS. It's become commonplace.
We live in a moderate-sized town outside Seattle. Usually the threats are phoned in; I don't know if there's ever been a note. Evacuation, police, dogs.... one time they stood around in a rain/hailstorm for over 2 hours while the school (7 buildings on her HS campus) was searched. She and a friend looked around the field where everyone was corralled and said, "gee, if someone was really going to plant a bomb, they'd put it here."
What can you do? If the police search the school and give the all-clear, I say send him back in. It's a miserable decision to have to make either way. Just my $0.02.
Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is "happy" and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
Personally, I have an 18-year-old daughter
and no way would I have let her brother's friend move in with us. There is too much temptation even if they are like brother and sister to start with. Also, I agree with other poster, it is not right to limit your daughter's social life with her friends because of an 18yo boy living in your house.
I have a 17 year old daughter, a senior.
She actually doesn't ask to be out during the school week. She's in drama club and working on college applications and homework. If she did ask, I think as long as her homework was done I'd probably let her be out until about 9:00. Her bedtime isn't until 11, but she needs the wind-down time. Weekends, it's midnight.
My daughter graduated last year
And she took a class that taught cooking, sewing, finances, etc. She knows how to sew better than I do! I guess it just depends on the school maybe?
Dear 34-year-old daughter
I call because I am lonely. It is really quiet with all you kids gone and someday soon, when your 3 are grown, you will know too, and then you will call nonstop. That is just what we do. Yes, I do call your brothers and sister when I am lonely also, but your right, you are closer and more convienent. Sorry about the wallpaper....once again, I am lonely and needed help. Deep down, you know I care and I am not trying to be critical of you. My intent is there, maybe my approach is wrong. Someday though...you will reach for that phone 3 times a day and it will not be me on the other end, enjoy it while it lasts.
No, that is her daughter. This is her 19-year-old son. Looking for link. Will post.
Be right back.
16-year-old daughter-need advice desperately
She is heading down a dark path here. You don't know who she is hanging with and she is pretty good at being stealth. Please put your foot down. You don't want her to be a headline, too many bad things can happen to her. It will be ugly and horrible but that's our job. You don't want to be looking back saying..."if only"...good luck! Any of us could be where you are!
latest update on 16-year-old daughter.
Well, I did it. I told my husband. He had a good stern talking with her about how what she is doing is not good and will not be tolerated, and told her that the rules were expected to be abided by. He grounded her for 2 weeks and we took away her license and car keys. She is beside herself and of course hates me more than anything because I betrayed her to her dad. Go figure. Anyway, now she states that there is no way she will stay in this house and will just run away. Or she will get a job and as soon as she can get some money together, she will emancipate herself from us. My husband told her that if she runs away, the next step will be something like military school. What a mess. He says we have to be tough or she won't get the message. This is so hard for me. I feel like I lost her. She wants nothing to do with me. I just hope and pray that someday she will understand that I did what I think is best for her.
At least now he knows and he can help me handle it. If she does run away, at least now he knows. I told her I love her more than life and I am doing this for her own good. She just reiterated how much she hates me.(sigh)
Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Please pray for me and my daughter. I never thought being a parent could be this hard.
I have an 18-year-old daughter and we charge her rent...
I think it teaches them responsibility and what the "real" world is like, there is not a free ride and to be accountable. The rent we charge does include groceries, cell phone, etc. She just pays my husband and I a lump sum at the beginning of the month and it covers all expenses at home. She buys her own clothes, make-up, personal items and even helps with her college expenses at the local community college. I think it's a great idea!
The last time my daughter went
swimming at the public pool, there was a turd floating in it. That was the LAST time she'll go there. People can be so disgusting.
My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th
Before the Iraq war, I would have been more excited that she wanted to do something positive with her life for a change, but this thought is scary as we know people that have lost their children in the war. I know in some ways this could turn her life around and be what she needs as she is very immature and is going down the wrong road, but are there other alternatives. A lot of people tell us it's still a good time for kids. Any thoughts out there?
Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts..
I don't even know where to start with this one but I'll just to give a short summary. My 19-year-old daughter has been troubled since I can remember. For example, her terrible twos went beyond that..if you didn't peel her orange right, she didn't want it and would throw it across the room. I think her diagnosis is best described as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and bipolar. She has a quick temper and at age 5 blackened her 12-year-old brother's eyes with a book because he got in her face. She has annoyed everyone she has come into contact with. She is very immature. We have tried everything to get her help because once she became a teenager it just got worse. She is self-destructive and I became the enabler and now it is out of control. She would not go to school so she does not have an education. We had to call the cops numerous times because of her violent outbursts. We had her arrested when she stole our credit cards so she could learn a lesson but the courts did nothing. She was supposed to be court ordered to have a job and attend school, of which she did nothing and there was no punishment. She has never suffered any consequences no matter how hard we tried. She was charged with 10 felonies for the credit card theft but got nothing. She just batted her big blue eyes at the judge and it all went away. I have paid her rent for a year or two, bought her a car and paid for it. All of these of course when she had a job but right after I did all of this she stopped going. She got into meth..You would not believe my heartbreaking nightmare. Some days I just don't think I can take another minute of it. At this point, she is now homeless because I just cannot keep paying her bills. She just totaled the car so she has no car and no job and still wants me to pay her way and she has lost her license due to DUI and driving again without privileges. It never stops. How far do I take this? She calls me for money that she says is to eat but if I keep giving her money then what is her motivation to go to work. I kept thinking if she hit bottom she could only come up..but she likes the bottom and just hovers there. She adapts to any environment. So when does she wake up and do you think tough love would work on a child with mental issues. I paid all of her doctor bills so she could get help and on medication but just found out she hasnt been taking them. I know I have so many questions but I have no idea how to "fix her" anymore. I know she needs to help herself but how much is she actually capable of being on drugs and mental health issues. This is devastating to our family and when I don't help her she becomes suicidal and I want to just hang up because I know she is manipulating but what if this is the time she really does something. I tried to take her into the hospital because of her meth addiction because she finally asked for help and was told there really wasn't any programs for her because she didn't have insurance so I left just thinking.."well, I guess you'll have to do it on your own, there is no help." Now, that is heartwrenching. At some point, I know she just has to grownup, but I don't know if I can survive this. I'm stressed 24/7 and sadly whenever she calls I get such bad anxiety. I can hardly be around her because she is so manipulative and I feel guilty that I try to avoid her. I always thought it'd be different if I just loved her more, spend more time with her and so as a mom, I blame myself because she is so messed up. Guilt just fuels the enabling.. Help.. any suggestions, advice??
This is definitely my time of year. (SM)
I love the warm days with bright sunshine, the comfortable nights for sleeping and the beautiful display of color on the trees. I love Halloween and when I had my house I would put orange lights out on the porch and bushes and the last 3 years had a big Halloween party. I am my dad's daughter totally in that respect. It was Dad's favorite time of year. I also live in the northeastern part of the country in Pennsylvania. 
Funny you would say that, if I was asked 1 time if my daughter only
child, I was asked 50 times and my answer was, no she just acts like that. She has always just been into herself, now over 30 and still is just a me type person, wont change ever. The man I am married to speaks volumes against the all about me type thing. If I speak proudly of him to someone else he always tells me lets talk about something else, ok. I just don’t have the kind of guys around me like you have I guess.
My daughter has for some time said to let answering machine
get the phone calls- she knows a lot of telemarketers call so it is not my idea, but hers to begin with! I have for years and years tried to explain that IF she thinks by my tone of voice I am upset, to please ASK, that is all- I will tell her no, not much upsetting in my life. If most parents would be truthful, they would probably say they preferred 1 child over another- my son was the chosen 1 so to speak. I thought he hung the moon when he was younger. He changed a lot- to be so disrespectful when if not for me- even his own father told me after son grown if not for me- where would my son have been- that I was like the rock, he was the rolling stone, never sticking around. I would hate for that to happen- I think most parents would hate to see a child die but at the same time- what about if his mother dies and he does not try to make amends- the road goes both ways you know. I feel I have done no wrong in the relationship at all. I am at peace with myself. As far as the daughter goes- wish you could ask my housekeeper who has been with me for years about my daughter- you would get an earful- she is a very spoiled girl, a me type person and her mother is not first on her list of people to see- she does for her friends and I have always been on the backburner with her. Told my aunt yesterday I love her but I don’t like her a lot of the time. And no flame for this- other parents feel the same and I know they do about certain children. Always asked if she is only child- that should tell you a lot.
i buy time once a year/tracfone
and it averages out to $8/month. I wanted a phone for emergency mainly too. Initial phone cost was about $20. The big plus to me besides cost is that they feed off ALL cell phone towers, not just their own as other companies do. works good enough for me, and being pretty rural, its really my only option of value.
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
With the kids jingle-belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It's the hap - happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap - happiest season of all
There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
This time of year can be great but
Dealing with in-laws is awful sometimes. I just need to vent so whoever does not want to hear it you mine as well stop reading now. My father-in-law is crazy and I mean he is bipolar. He thinks he is so innocent and people are out to get him when he stirs up trouble constantly. This is the first time we have seen him at Christmas in 3 years. He has caused trouble with my BIL and SIL and they have wrote him off yet again. My hubbie says he does not want to do that because of the fact of what if something happens to him, he would regret it. He wants to be forgiving which I understand it is his dad, but oh my gosh he stood in our living room last night and told us a bunch of lies which I am know for a fact are lies and then starts preaching to us about people and unforgiveness. I was getting so mad I wanted to cry right there and I could not go to sleep last night I was so frustrated. AAAHHHAAHHH!!
Anyways just wanted to vent. I do love this time of the year with the decorations and Christmas music just could do with a little less of the drama. I wish people did not have to be dumb sometimes. Okay I am done, Thanks for letting me vent!!  
It's unbelievably hot here for this time of year
The temperatures are well above average here in Upstate NY. It's in the 80s today and it's supposed to stay that way for the rest of the week and then go into the high 60s-low 70s over the weekend. I love fall too.
By far, our favorite this time of year...
Christmas Vacation - we watch it every year.
Elf is also a great holiday movie
Bruce Almighty
Liar Liar
Austin Powers
Shrek
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
American Pie - not the sequels
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Porky's
Dumb and Dumber
Every year same old, same old at tax time Venting-
My husband and I never fight ----- until April. Then it's constant for about 2 weeks. 
My hubby is self-employed. We've had a couple of rough years and for the past 2 years were unable to pay quarterly taxes. When tax time rolls around, bang! We're fighting like cats and dogs! He complains about how much he has to pay in every year I really don't blame him, as it seems like in his line of work, a lot of deductions are not allowed and it sucks.
In reality, we gotta get on top of the quarterlies again. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. He said he didn't make any money last year, but we still have to pay in over $8000 to the IRS. I really don't know how this could be either. Then he threatens to sell his equipment. Now for the next 3 months, all I'll hear is the complaining (putting it nicely).
It upsets me when we fight, but I'm tired of hearing it all the time. I wasn't even going to tell him how much we owed but I didn't know where to get the money to quietly pay off the IRS.
Anybody want a wonderful husband for the next month or so? Just until he gets over it, then I want him back. (only kidding---he's a real keeper ).
Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how to get around this crappy tax thing, please let me know.
12-year-old son says I yell at him all the time (sm)
The thing is, I don't. I am recently separated for about 2 months now and my children are happy about moving, as their dad was not pleasant for any of us to live with. But my almost 12 year old son unfortunately seems to have thought it was going to be an opportunity to get away with whatever he wants. He begs me to let him miss school for no reason, and even when I explain to him the reasons why he can't, he wants to debate and argue until I have to firmly tell him no. Then Friday I had given the kids a little money to get something for Easter and I only had an hour, had agreed to take them to one store and if they didn't find anything to take them to another store this week. My son kept begging me to take him to two other stores...even though I explained to him repeatedly that I did not have time. He also started begging me to let him by rated M X-Box games and I told him no, that just because we moved doesn't mean he is old enough for those games. So he started crying on Friday. My 9 year old daughter is acting more mature than he is.
He was about to get out of the car to go into school this morning and he said, "you have been yelling at me all the time, you used to not do that!" My daughter said, "but that was just one time, what are you talking about? It's not all the time." and he again teared up and said that I do yell at him all the time. I think he is upset every time I tell him no. He tries to debate with me and argue his point but if it is no, I just say, "I'm sorry but I can't do that" or I have told him at times that he is not being reasonable. What is going on?
And sad to say, a lot of people this time of year are mean and cranky...
I am basically done with my Christmas shopping as well...I have found in the past that if I had something in mind and waiting until after Thanksgiving, it would be out of stock and I would have to pay more for it in the long run...
ever see Neil Simons' "Same time Next Year?" (NM)
.
My daughter is 35 years old and has been having pain in left lower abdomen for quite some time . . .
She had a CT with oral and IV contrast and it was normal, but showed she had an enlarged uterus. Dr. called the next day and said she needs to go for ultrasound.
There is lots of cancer in the family, so my daughter is very concerned. Can any of you who have experienced this help out here. Thanks.
Allergies? Anything specific blooming this time of year? Anemia?
s
I still get a couple loaf pans of it every year at butchering time
DH doesn't touch it but I love it. I grew up on it too.
I also grew up on Spam. Mom had a stove that had a pull out griddle above the oven and she would put spam and egss on there for a Tuesday night supper.
I have 2 cans of Spam in my pantry now. The ingredients state: Pork with ham, mechanically separated chicken, water , salt, modified potato starch, sugar, hickory smoke flavoring (I have the hickory smoke flavor), and sodiu nitrite. Opps. There's that bad word-sodium nitrite.
Land's End is good for suits. Don't know if you can access their swimwear at this time of year
s
Here's a new poll for ya...
Let's get down to the nitty gritty and be honest....Bras or no bras while working from home....javascript:editor_insertHTML('text',' ');
javascript:editor_insertHTML('text','');
Can I do a little poll
For those of you who have been so unfortunate to go through an M/C or a termination, could you tell me how long it took to get a period after the M/C or termination, and also how far along you were in that pregnancy?
Just curious here. The doctor said 4-6 weeks, and I'm really hoping my body will cooperate!
to poll
Why didn't you give your opinion of Europeans?
BTW, most of us have European ancestors. That's a no brainer.
And it did look like you were picking a fight. I'm glad no one fell for it.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
Pet owner poll: sm
Do any of you feel that the monthly one-spot flea and tick preventions are hazardous to your pets' health?
Between my best friend and me, we had 6 dogs. Since June, 3 of them developed cancers, 2 of whom died. The common denominator is Frontline. Her dog was only 4, and my 2 were 10 and 8. Her dog had a leiomyosarcoma. Mine had squamous cell sarcoma and the other had undifferentiated giant cell sarcoma. We both live in Florida where fleas and ticks can be a big problem.
Two other friends claim they don't give their dogs these preventatives because they were told they were poisonous to dogs, the advice coming from holistic vets.
What are your thoughts and experiences, and where do you live?
Thanks.
Poll: How many of you have a My Space?
I do.
Ok, lets take a poll, how many out there
EVER saw any evidence prior to today of her shaking, trembling, picking at bugs in the air, whatever -NEVER. Let her get some medical help through the court system.
I do Harris Poll
They give you points for surveys and you can spend them on whatever you want. I've gotten a weed whacker and a walkman...I think a couple other things as well.
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