Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
Posted By: Wise.MT on 2007-01-31
In Reply to: Tessier's Surgical 'Word Book, old but good. And the Quick Look Drug Book and Saunders - Pharm. Words, both new every year. nm
x
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Wise words, I second the rec. for the above post
Excellent points all.
I think you can forgive
but that doesn't mean you have to live with it. I have forgiven my EX-husband. lol
Should I forgive? and if so how??? (sm)
My husband hit me about 4 years ago...he slammed my head into a pole on our carport and pulled my hair, bruised my arms, cursed in my face. It was a shock to me because he had never acted that way before, although he had been somewhat aggressive in the past. It wasn't even a big argument, and I was stunned. I left for a week and made him go to anger management counselling. He went to two sessions, I came back home and he quit going. He has never hit me again. It has been four years. But he was never terribly sorry.... I have never felt the same way about him since. I have never wanted to be intimate with him since. I don't even like him touching me. I have prayed, been to marriage counsellors, tried to change my feelings toward him and I just can't.
It seems ridiculous to me to think of divorcing a man for something he did four years ago but I can't seem to feel anything for him anymore. What do I do?
I think you should forgive them both...
maybe not forget, but try not to hold a grudge. Keep in mind that your mother raised you and loves you the way you love your own children and it probably hurts her terribly that she hears nothing from you. It's Christmas time. If ever there was a time to try our best to be Christ-like, I suppose this is it.
I would definitely forgive them sm
and move forward as you normally would but would be cautious in the future. Should they gossip about you in the future I would definitely curtail your time around them - they could be toxic
Please forgive the typos . . .
Trying to help feed Baby Alive while typing. LOL Apparently Santa did a good thing this year.
How many times could you forgive...
Your spouse for having an affair? I just found out that a friend of mine's husband has left her twice for another woman and both times she has forgiven him (this happened before we met). I just don't know if I could do that twice, once MAYBE, but certainly not twice...how bout you?
I say forgive, of course, but forget, NO WAY......sm
To be a true friend and truly care for someone, you first have to respect them and honor their dignity....how can care for anyone, friend, lover, or whatever, if you cannot be TRUTHFUL? How can you say you respect someone whiile blatantly lying to them? As a Christian and hopefully good person, I belive we always have to forgive, but to forget as if nothing had happened, that is impossible, I would think. She betrayed you by lying, not by seeing your ex, that is HER problem if she wants a second-hand loser, but friendship is a sacred bond, I am sure you can forge some newer, better friendships, can you ever feel any confidence in this woman again? Just my firm opinion, I had this done to me many years ago when very young, and although we tried, the friendship was never the same, for obvious reasons. God bless in your decision!
I can forgive, but how to forget?
a few weeks back my youngest son was injured. My mother came by to bring him some ice cream. For some reason something i said or did made my mother angry. I did not know this at the time. My husband and I went to lunch with said child, my mother and grandmother the next day. I noticed they were acting rather stiff and one time hubby, child and I went to the bathroom. When I walked back to the table M and G promptly stopped talking. Confused, the next day I called and asked the grandmother if I had done something wrong. Out of the blue she stated that she didn't think i should not let one child do something without the other (speaking about a birthday party they were BOTH invited to) I laughed and told her they had both been invited, that the child invited all of his friends and their brothers and I would never dream of self inviting my child to a party!!! Anyway I called my mother and told her the same thing. They both still sounded rather stiff. Well along came Thanksgiving. My MIL came over to our house so we didn't go to my grandma's house. My sister in law then told me all the things that were said about me...that I treat my oldest like crap, my youngest is a spoiled brat, etc. and that my grandma was actually CRYING because she believes my oldest is treated so badly. I honestly have NO CLUE where they got all of this!! I was flabbergasted!!! I just wrote them both off and just never really wanted to talk to them. No confrontation, nothing. I didn't even return their calls.
So today my grandma stops by unannounced and begs me to forgive her and that she wants to see my boys some time during christmas. SHe won't talk about the incident, what sparked it or even what the heck my mom thinks is so bad about how i have treated my oldest. I'm at a loss. On one hand I really want to get together with her. She is just going on something that someone else told her about me. On the other hand I feel like my every move will be judged if I am around her with my kids. I told her I forgive her and I honestly do, but i'm not sure how to get past this. I'm having a Christmas lunch Saturday with my brother. Should I invite her or just say to heck with it and not see her?
no more forgive and forget posts
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081219/ap_on_re_us/palin_johnston_arrest
Be the bigger person and forgive! Course my opinion
forgive me-I didn't realize you were the grandparent!
 but I also think you, as a grandparent, can supply all the info to CS....my situation was entirely different and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the grandparent before I posted...
And God Bless you for taking responsibility for your grandkids, my parents would have done zippo!!  
What makes some people forgive so easily and others not so easy? sm
The reason I ask is that I am in a very unique situation. I have a family member (an in law) who basically hates me. She and I have sort of been at it on and off for 8 years. She's a very mean person, very judgmental, hates everybody. I mean, seriously. It's bad. She rubbed off on me for too long. We were friends! I used to point and make fun at others ONLY when around her. When I finally caught on that she was not a very good influence and that I was so easily pursuaded by her meanness towards other people (backstabbing, etc), I began to keep my distance. And she caught on. Now she hates me. For no reason, really, other than I don't call her anymore, don't hang out with her anymore. And here lately she has been doing evil things to me like returning cards I've sent to her family with a giant "return to sender" on the envelope, getting her sister against me (I mean, come on, how old are we??), etc. She will be at my mother in law's for the holidays with her kids and I am cringing inside. In fact, just today, I received a nasty email from her when I got home saying some pretty mean things, calling me crazy, insane, etc. which I know I'm not, but it hurts anyways to hear stuff like that. She has a very hard time forgiving people, I've seen it over and over in her life, and now it has come to the fact that I need her to forgive me in order for ME to have peace in my life. It's just the kind of person that I am. I am totally willing to look past all the mean things she's done and said the past year and try to move forward positively!
So, fast forward. I've written her an email basically BEGGING for her forgiveness and saying I'm sorry for whatever I've done to hurt you (I know I've hurt her by not wanting to be around her,etc), and told her it wasn't good for us to be on the outs like this. I am pretty sensitive (if you can't tell already), and I really, really, really wish she could get past all of this and just forgive. We all need a little forgiveness, don't we?? What do you think? Why is it that some are so easily forgiven and others will go to their grave filled with HATE? I don't understand it one bit.
I'm not saying I'm any better than she is. I know I'm not. I just don't have an evil vein in my body to not forgive people and I HATE when others talk about others behind their backs. It's mean. I grew up around that stuff and once I reached adulthood and realized that I didn't need to talk about others to make myself feel better, I hated being around it. Give me some advice. Should I send the letter?
Please help me. Would you send it? She obviously needs love. What would you do? Would you just tell her to forget it and move on or would you be like her and hate back? 
Sorry meant sequins - this is a forum not work - please forgive me for not proofing
**
YIKES! I shoulda proofread before posting. Forgive all the typos and omissions!
And cost wise?
Read all the above and thanks so much. Now in the midst of trying to get my yard in shape after the grubs set in and do not want to spend an arm and a leg on flooring. Thanks again.
Cost wise?
Heard sodding expensive.
very wise advice about how to go about
It keeps it from looking like a competition or disapproval, and more about the longterm effects of treating a child over-the-top and how they might interpret that as they are "damaged." A+ advice!
She may be able to work her way up job-wise
xx
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
What a wise looking face.
I'm sorry about your husband's death. You must both miss him very much.
Wise ol' soul
I really do, especially around this time of year. But, I ws lucky to have him as long as i did.
And, Silver has always been a wise ol' soul. He is a great comfort. But, unfortunately Silver has cancer and is getting really thin. So, I think he will be with my husband before too long.
That picture was taken a few years ago.
I like those words - very very wise
Going to remember that one.
What would you do - survival wise
Thinking about the storm Gustave (sorry, don't know how to spell it or want to open up new window to find correct spelling), but it brings me to another question I wanted to ask. If you knew an impending storm (or some other disaster) was heading your way, and you would be out of power for 30 days (no refrigeration or electricity/gas) and was stuck in your home and could not leave (roads blocked or whatever reason) and you had time to prepare ahead of time. What kinds of foods would you have on hand in your "emergency stash" and what types of things would you eat.
Wow, ya'll are so wise -- thanks
Appreciate any comments/advice. Keep it up! Thanks a lot.
Age wise, I am 10 years
older than DH.
A double duh here
I was answering the post above me when they said Merck would benefit off these injections. Yes, I said, that is what most pharmaceutical companies are in the business for. I use medications, my husband does, my whole family does. I really don’t understand what you are trying to say?? This in no way will effect me whether it is mandatory or not.
You are wise and a very good person (sm)
Your daughter and granddaughter are very lucky to have you, especially your granddaughter.
Everything you said is true.
The best thing I ever did for my kids after divorce was never to say an unkind word about their father, never put them in the middle, and the parade of frogs was a definite no-no!
Your advice was excellent. You SHOULD write a book!! As many divorces as there are any more, you would think this issue would have more emphasis in some form of media.
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
I think that is a wise choice. So glad
you brought dad into this! It is just too much for one - I know because I was the only one.
Double Yea to Andy!
Good for him! Good for you!
I will not tell you what my first thought was when you wrote "detasseling", but I can assure you it had nothing to do with corn!
My son is a college student. He has a job on campus. I pay the college bills he pays for whatever he needs while at school. This is his 2nd year and so far so good - he's never asked me for money. He was home on break a few weeks ago and was so excited to show me this t-shirt he bought at a Goodwill store. It was black with a very large photo of Michael Bolton on it. He thought it was a riot, and so didn't I because we both have a warped sense of humor. He is a very preppy-looking kid, usually wears a white t-shirt with an opened collared shirt over it, nice jeans, clean-cut, short hair. The Michael Bolton t-shirt is SO unlike him. He's now looking for a shirt with David Hasselhoff on it. You will may be entertained by what your son buys.
Enjoy these years, they are THE best!
Thanks. I will be sure to double check this. nm
x
Say what, in the south we have double
names for males also, since when did you think it stopped at females?
Funny that the double name comes up
I was going to add that to my original post, as both of her girls have double names. So, for the third girl, she wants to keep it the same. They have kind of given up on that tho, since they haven't been successful at finding anything. Thanks a bunch!!!
double standard
Men have been doing it for centuries....marrying and/or keeping mistresses about 15-20 years younger and nothing is said about it, other than "You lucky dog."
Why is it so frowned upon in society for women to consider the same option?
Ditto and NEVER again. I'd rather pay double! lol
Amazing what some people will do to save a buck.
Oh no, we're going to H E double L!
Are you even capable of making a point without the scare tactics? And you wonder why bible thumpers like you are laughed at.
You sound like a very wise person and I a glad to that
he did understand. Over-the-top is never good. Not for an adult and certainly not for a child. A gift with meaning and purpose is more cherished than a trunk load of junk and will be remembered, not thrown away.
LOL- she sounds wise beyond her years. She's lucky to have you. nm
xx
A wise 1st grade teacher told us...
"If you won't believe that I was mean to your kids, I won't believe that you had dog food for dinner last night."
Wise words, bright side....
I had a mini-meltdown several months ago when the work pretty much dried up for awhile. My SO was so very supportive and reminded me that no matter what happened, even if we ended up living in a cardboard box, we would have each other and no one could take that away from us.
I'd always been extremely strong and independent before I met him, and would struggle through things alone and silently, always hiding behind the "everything is just fine" facade to everyone I knew.
It's so nice to have someone to love and trust and turn to for support when things get rough.
Knowing that someone is waiting right there to catch you if you start to fall off the edge is something no amount of money can buy.
Hang in there, backwardstypist...Things will work out for you and your DH.
what a wise, insightful and compassionate comment.
I wish you all the best and that you come out as a winner because you deserve it.
Percentage-wise, shoplifting is a more likely source of
I was horrified, what - a year ago? - to watch an episode of Oprah where three teenage girls AND THEIR MOTHERS were guests saying in front of God and the world that the girls engage in oral sex, how common it was, etc.
There was some point in this country when we decided that "shame" was bad (the oxymoronic suggestion being that we should be ashamed of shame!) - and nothing good has come out of this ridiculous 'progressive humanist' idea or its twin - the notion that outcomes should be the same for everyone regardless of their ability or effort.
Let's get the notion of shame back on stage - front and center. There ARE things that humans do that SHOULD make them feel shame and guilt. When we lose our ability to experience guilt, we have...let's see now, what do we have again? Oh yes, now I remember - we have Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion scam, television you can no longer watch with your children, teachers seducing their students, and a whole lot of other very unpleasant consequences.
It is considered a double negative, sm
and not standardly use. Use "regardless", or "irrespective". It is considered bad grammar.
According to Wikipedia, double-wides just
depreciate more slowly than single-wides:
"Others have strongly limited or forbidden all single-wide models, which tend to depreciate in value more rapidly than modern double-wide models."
And modern double-wides depreciate less quickly than older double-wides:
"Newer manufactured homes, particularly double-wides, tend to be built to much higher standards than their predecessors and meet the building codes applicable to most areas. This has led to a reduction in the rate of value depreciation of most used units."
Unfortunately that's still losing money instead of making it.
I had a mouse get in my double oven many
years ago and get electrocuted on the wiring. Needless to say the kitchen smelled like something dead for DAYS. I tore the room apart and never found it. When we took the front electrical panel off 3 months later to replace a report, there it was! Looked like it was crucifed. All bones and they all fell out all over the stove. Yuk.
I double lock the door and have a
security latch as there's been a lot of break-ins at gun point lately. We live in an apt and since I work overnight I've actually had people that thought my door was their door and tried to unlock it...drunk ones, of course.
I've thought about leaving my keys in the car and the windowns down (1999 car with 137,000 miles on it)....JOKING.
Are we going to h-e-double-hockeysticks in a handbasket or what? NM
x
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
modular/manufactured (double) are built the same
the modular comes in sections, the manufactured comes in halves. The specifics are the same.
|
