Platonic Relationships
Posted By: SaRa on 2009-06-01
In Reply to:
Can an unmarried heterosexual man and woman have a very close friendship and it remain platonic?
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sometimes in couple relationships
one couple is the _leader_ couple and the other is the _follower_ couple. It may just be that after a period of time, this couple is feeling that they want to spread their wings a bit and establish their own traditions...and just don't know how to communicate that to you without hurting your feelings (which hurts because of the noncommunication and you are left to wonder what is going on!).
You have extended your offer for your New Year's party. Maybe pick a time when you know that no one will be home at your neighbors and call to leave a casual message that even if they have something else planned, they are welcome to drop in for whatever time they could spend so you and yours can wish them a happy start to the new year. Otherwise, I would just let things play out. When the time is right to talk about what is going on, you and the other family will know it. Try to keep an open mind and a good relationship.
Just think of how many of them are unhappy in relationships though,
their spouse or SO for someone they co-star with. Im just thinking it takes a very strong person to see or think about the one you love kissing and becoming intimate with someone else, even if it is "pretend", and then to have them say they liked it"? Give me a break, that would be insulting to the spouse or SO - IMO.
I know I could not do it, and I am not usually a jealous person.
For those of us in bad relationships - some info (sm)
This is my marriage in a nutshell...it explains so much!! I found it while looking up some of the abuse cycle info suggested by other posters..thank you
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Simplified
It looks like this... Your partner treats you and perhaps your children different in private than in public. In public he may ignore you giving all of his attention to others, or pretend to be the perfect husband or father, while in private he may be sarcastic, haughty and insulting. He may put down his friends to you (behind their back). He may have a very inflated sense of entitlement and ego, thinking he deserves things that he hasn’t worked for or earned and he may lie and manipulate people for attention, acting a bit too good to be true. This can fool people and so few will believe how he talks to his family in private (I say ‘he’, because the majority of NPD sufferers are men). He may also show little or no regard for your well being or your feelings.
That’s not all...
He may lie about you or paint a bad picture of you to gain sympathy from others and to justify his own bad behaviour. You may not know all of the lies he is telling you and telling others about you...
The recommendations I have to offer are relevant whether you know that your partner has NPD or not. They are steps for anyone living with marital abuse. They are aimed at protecting you while giving your marriage the best chance of healing. They are steps recommended by people who work in the front line with these issues everyday.
Not all people with NPD are physically abusive, but it is a significant indicator. The physical abuse is not always perpetrated by the person with NPD either. It is normal to become very angry with someone who manipulates you and puts you down. It is normal after years of this treatment to even want to kill them or wish them dead. This is one reason why knowing how to get help and support is so important.
Men and Women- Relationships
I have heard people call their husbands or wives stupid. I am just curious. Do you believe there is really a dialogue between the genders. Do you respect your mate and vice versa.
I was watching Mad Men and the whole relationship between men & women in the 1950ies was very different. Men treated women as if they were children. They were petted and coddled, but these woman had no power, no sense of responsibility.
My husband is my partner. We make decisions that effect us jointly, together. I have my own bank acct. and he does too. We try not to have secrets. Most importantly- I am an individual in this marriage and so is he. If I didn't feel that way, I'd walk.
Since we are talking relationships on this board ---
How long is too long to wait on somebody?
I have been with my boyfriend for over 10 years now - 5 really serious, living together. Even though most of the time I am miserable, most of the time, I just keep on staying because "I love him" and he will "grow up" in time.
He does not want to get married right now, even though "one day" I am who he plans to marry... he stays out with the guys all the time (6 days out of 7), not coming home lots of nights because he had too much to drink or he just lost track of time and then fell asleep (and yes, I believe him as to the whys)....
But I am tired of being alone all the time... I am tired of being responsible for holding the relationship together. When I tell him it has to stop and he has to pay more attention to the relationship if he wants it to work, he always responds he is working on it but that it takes a while to change habits.
My problem is a couple of years ago I met a very nice man who could take care of me easily... and has offered to do so many times. He is now ready for a relationship and not just a friendship with me (which is all it has been). I know that I don't love him, don't know if I ever will love him, but I also know that right now, love is not doing too much for me except causing heartache and tears on a daily basis...
So, again, how long is too long to wait on the person you love to grow up?
I prefer superficial relationships
I find that the only people I like are the ones I don't know very well. So I try to like everyone I meet, and just keep it light.
Relationships - new type of topic
I'm reading through all the posts below (where did you meet your spouse, what was your first meal, etc). I'm wondering how many of you out there would be perfectly happy living by yourself. I absolutely hate those dating commercials (eharmony, etc). Why does society try to make us feel that we have to have that "someone special" in our lives or we are nothing. A lot of times that "someone special" turns out to be "nobody special" but you don't find that out until your married and its too late. HA HA
I have always believed that before planning your life with someone you should first be true to yourself. Get to know yourself. What is is you want out of life. Can you achieve that goal on your own. I always have felt I did not enter with world with a man attached to my side and I won't be leaving this world with one attached to my side either. I'm am me, I'm a whole person. I have interests, thoughts, and beliefs, that are not always the same as my "other halfs". I am married right now, but to tell the truth I would be perfectly happy living on my own also. I've got lots of family and friends to do activities with, so there is not an issue of ever being lonely. You can be alone without being lonely.
Just wonder how many people are so attached to their spouse they feel life would not be worth anything if they were without them and if so why.
Great advice from Madea on relationships sm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqDU6CPwy6Q
If you have ever been lonely, or in a bad relationship, this is for you!!!
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