Personally, I have an 18-year-old daughter
Posted By: see message on 2008-07-08
In Reply to: Need to know if we're doing the right thing - sm - New York MT
and no way would I have let her brother's friend move in with us. There is too much temptation even if they are like brother and sister to start with. Also, I agree with other poster, it is not right to limit your daughter's social life with her friends because of an 18yo boy living in your house.
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Not personally, but last year my mom and
stepfather went to a funeral of a good friend of the family ( I literally was too depressed at the time and was afraid of what it woud do and stayed home) and they were both so shaken that my mom was actually afraid to go to bed that night. She said the daughter of this man came up to them and advised they not look in the casket because he looked so bad. My mom and stepfather later went up and were sorry. This man died of medical complications and not an accident, but the swelling in his face apparently was so bad that it completely disfigured him. The wife of this man wanted it open and did not leave his side.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
My 8-year-old daughter had the
flu a couple of weeks ago and she took Tamiflu and seemed to get over it pretty quick. Hubby also had it and got prescribed Flumadine b/c it was cheaper and he seemed to take a little longer to get over it, but he is a bigger baby than daughter also!
My 11-year-old daughter
staying with us for a week because her mother is out of state. She is a close friend with my daughter. Our family loves her and treats her like one of our own. Hoping this goes well but not naive enough to think that arguments may not arise with the two of them being together constantly for a week. There will be a break Saturday night, as she will be staying with her grandmother and returning here the next day. Just wondering if any of you have any suggestions to possibly prevent any chaos at my house. lol. Wish me luck!
My 16 year old daughter - sm
says that kids often way exaggerate on these places, especially about threatening suicide. That doesn't mean that some of them aren't serious, but probably the majority of them are looking for the drama.
So, while it probably wasn't a "joke" per se, it's also probably not nearly as scary as it sounds. She did the same kind of post at age 14 that I carried around with me while watching for other signs, but her grades stayed up, she showed no signs of cutting off her friends, etc. Just normal teen highs and lows, and time passed and so did that.
My point - Take a breath, calm your nerves, and just be watchful. It'll probably just turn out to be another phase.
16-year-old daughter - need help from all who have gone through this
Just found out that my 16-year-old, good kid, honor student, has been leading a double life for the past two years. I found out through some snooping and confronted her. She fessed up to drinking and smoking but swears no drugs. The times that I thought she was sleeping over at the house of her friends that I knew, she was apparently sleeping at random places with a bunch of other kids that I don't even know, as she feels that this is completely appropriate and was "doing nothing wrong". She swears she has not had sex. She apparently has a lot of guy friends and most of them I don't even know and did not even know existed.
She feels that now that she has come clean, I should be okay with this whole situation and allow her to continue to live her lifestyle that she simply "loves and is unwilling to give up". We have been fighting daily. I have not told her father about this, because he is "european" and would definitely come down hard on her and I don't even know what he would do. She tells me that she will definitely leave if I tell him.
She demands one day a week that she can sleep out whereever she pleases and I should be okay with that. I am not. I am at my wits end. She swears she will leave if I "don't leave her alone".
My rules are simple:
1. Home by curfew (11:30 friday and saturday) and 10 weeknights in the summer (but I don't feel she needs to go out every night and she disagrees).
2. I no longer let her take the care whenever she wants, as I don't trust her.
3. She can socialize with her friends and I will pick her up and drive her within reasonable distance close to home.
4. I can even learn to live with the drinking, as long as she gets home safe by my picking her up or having a safe ride home.
5. I don't want her sleeping out any more.
She is fighting me tooth and nail and is swearing she will leave the house if I don't "leave her alone".
We used to get along so well or so I thought, and now I find out she is a complete stranger and not at all the daughter I thought I had.
I am so depressed and don't know what to do. I don't want to have to tell my husband, but she is leaving me no choice but I am scared to death that she will leave. The worst part is that she knows my fear and is using it to get to me.
I desperately need some good sound advice.
Thanks and sorry so long.
I have a 13-year-old daughter myself
And as long as it was during the day, I was home, and she stayed where I could see them I wouldn't have a problem with the boys being at the house.
As for the pizza, trust your gut. I do let my daughter go to the pizza place in our town, but we live in a very small town, and I only let her go with her brothers (14&15) or with another girlfriend and I put a time limit on it.
It is something that girls her age are allowed to do, unfortunately, to many of them have no limitations at all. Only you know how far you can trust your daughter.
I have a 14 year old daughter also
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about.
Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.
My daughter had it over a year ago and
she is still suffering side effects. You do not get over it in 4 weeks.
P.S. I have a beautiful 8-year-old daughter from it all. nm
xx
My 16-year-old daughter smoking
I have known for about a year that my daughter has been smoking from time to time. I made it very clear to her that this was very unacceptable and absolutely would not be tolerated.
Apparently she has done a very good job at hiding it. Tonight when I was putting socks into her sock drawer, for some reason I decided to push aside her socks and, of course, I found a cigarette, but the filter had been cut off. I also saw several filters that had been cut off in her drawer. I asked her about it a little bit ago and naturally she stormed upstairs and wouldn't discuss it with me. This may sound incredibly naive, but I really don't know why the filters were cut off? Maybe to make the cigarette stronger? This thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I am at a loss here. She is a pretty good girl, an honor roll student, has lots of friends, but still loves to spend time with her family. I have grounded her in the past for this, but apparently that didn't get my point across. I would love to hear from parents with teenagers who have been through this before and have suggestions on how to deal with this. Also, I'm almost afraid to ask, but any ideas why the filters were cut off the cigarettes?
My daughter had these last year on her shoulders
I got ointment with aloe in it for burns that had also lidocaine and put loose gauze over top. The blister will pop on its own. It will probably be sore once it pops, so keep it covered with the gauze. I added the ointment to take away the sting. It will not hurt so much if you get the ointment. I covered them so they wouldn't get infected and "smart" while she slept.
There are 4-5 a year at my daughter's HS. It's become commonplace.
We live in a moderate-sized town outside Seattle. Usually the threats are phoned in; I don't know if there's ever been a note. Evacuation, police, dogs.... one time they stood around in a rain/hailstorm for over 2 hours while the school (7 buildings on her HS campus) was searched. She and a friend looked around the field where everyone was corralled and said, "gee, if someone was really going to plant a bomb, they'd put it here."
What can you do? If the police search the school and give the all-clear, I say send him back in. It's a miserable decision to have to make either way. Just my $0.02.
Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is "happy" and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
I have a 17 year old daughter, a senior.
She actually doesn't ask to be out during the school week. She's in drama club and working on college applications and homework. If she did ask, I think as long as her homework was done I'd probably let her be out until about 9:00. Her bedtime isn't until 11, but she needs the wind-down time. Weekends, it's midnight.
My daughter graduated last year
And she took a class that taught cooking, sewing, finances, etc. She knows how to sew better than I do! I guess it just depends on the school maybe?
Dear 34-year-old daughter
I call because I am lonely. It is really quiet with all you kids gone and someday soon, when your 3 are grown, you will know too, and then you will call nonstop. That is just what we do. Yes, I do call your brothers and sister when I am lonely also, but your right, you are closer and more convienent. Sorry about the wallpaper....once again, I am lonely and needed help. Deep down, you know I care and I am not trying to be critical of you. My intent is there, maybe my approach is wrong. Someday though...you will reach for that phone 3 times a day and it will not be me on the other end, enjoy it while it lasts.
Poll time... if your 15-year-old daughter....sm
has a paper due at school that was assigned a week ago, she procrastinated and didn't start writing it until the afternoon before the due date and didn't type it up until 11 p.m. at night, then knocked on your door to wake you up because she realized there was no printer printer would you:
A. Get dressed and go to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to get paper.
B. Tell her that it's too bad- she should have done her paper sooner than this and alerted you before 11 p.m. that there was no printer paper - especially when she has gone through a whole ream within a month printing out things like rock band and television star photos and other nonessential things.
(For the record - my husband & I did option B to help her learn a "life lesson" last night - she'll get a reduced grade for turning in the paper late but hopefully she'll learn to stop procrastinating on her school work - which is a chronic problem with her - even with her getting A's and B's.)
No, that is her daughter. This is her 19-year-old son. Looking for link. Will post.
Be right back.
16-year-old daughter-need advice desperately
She is heading down a dark path here. You don't know who she is hanging with and she is pretty good at being stealth. Please put your foot down. You don't want her to be a headline, too many bad things can happen to her. It will be ugly and horrible but that's our job. You don't want to be looking back saying..."if only"...good luck! Any of us could be where you are!
latest update on 16-year-old daughter.
Well, I did it. I told my husband. He had a good stern talking with her about how what she is doing is not good and will not be tolerated, and told her that the rules were expected to be abided by. He grounded her for 2 weeks and we took away her license and car keys. She is beside herself and of course hates me more than anything because I betrayed her to her dad. Go figure. Anyway, now she states that there is no way she will stay in this house and will just run away. Or she will get a job and as soon as she can get some money together, she will emancipate herself from us. My husband told her that if she runs away, the next step will be something like military school. What a mess. He says we have to be tough or she won't get the message. This is so hard for me. I feel like I lost her. She wants nothing to do with me. I just hope and pray that someday she will understand that I did what I think is best for her.
At least now he knows and he can help me handle it. If she does run away, at least now he knows. I told her I love her more than life and I am doing this for her own good. She just reiterated how much she hates me.(sigh)
Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Please pray for me and my daughter. I never thought being a parent could be this hard.
I have an 18-year-old daughter and we charge her rent...
I think it teaches them responsibility and what the "real" world is like, there is not a free ride and to be accountable. The rent we charge does include groceries, cell phone, etc. She just pays my husband and I a lump sum at the beginning of the month and it covers all expenses at home. She buys her own clothes, make-up, personal items and even helps with her college expenses at the local community college. I think it's a great idea!
My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th
Before the Iraq war, I would have been more excited that she wanted to do something positive with her life for a change, but this thought is scary as we know people that have lost their children in the war. I know in some ways this could turn her life around and be what she needs as she is very immature and is going down the wrong road, but are there other alternatives. A lot of people tell us it's still a good time for kids. Any thoughts out there?
Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts..
I don't even know where to start with this one but I'll just to give a short summary. My 19-year-old daughter has been troubled since I can remember. For example, her terrible twos went beyond that..if you didn't peel her orange right, she didn't want it and would throw it across the room. I think her diagnosis is best described as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and bipolar. She has a quick temper and at age 5 blackened her 12-year-old brother's eyes with a book because he got in her face. She has annoyed everyone she has come into contact with. She is very immature. We have tried everything to get her help because once she became a teenager it just got worse. She is self-destructive and I became the enabler and now it is out of control. She would not go to school so she does not have an education. We had to call the cops numerous times because of her violent outbursts. We had her arrested when she stole our credit cards so she could learn a lesson but the courts did nothing. She was supposed to be court ordered to have a job and attend school, of which she did nothing and there was no punishment. She has never suffered any consequences no matter how hard we tried. She was charged with 10 felonies for the credit card theft but got nothing. She just batted her big blue eyes at the judge and it all went away. I have paid her rent for a year or two, bought her a car and paid for it. All of these of course when she had a job but right after I did all of this she stopped going. She got into meth..You would not believe my heartbreaking nightmare. Some days I just don't think I can take another minute of it. At this point, she is now homeless because I just cannot keep paying her bills. She just totaled the car so she has no car and no job and still wants me to pay her way and she has lost her license due to DUI and driving again without privileges. It never stops. How far do I take this? She calls me for money that she says is to eat but if I keep giving her money then what is her motivation to go to work. I kept thinking if she hit bottom she could only come up..but she likes the bottom and just hovers there. She adapts to any environment. So when does she wake up and do you think tough love would work on a child with mental issues. I paid all of her doctor bills so she could get help and on medication but just found out she hasnt been taking them. I know I have so many questions but I have no idea how to "fix her" anymore. I know she needs to help herself but how much is she actually capable of being on drugs and mental health issues. This is devastating to our family and when I don't help her she becomes suicidal and I want to just hang up because I know she is manipulating but what if this is the time she really does something. I tried to take her into the hospital because of her meth addiction because she finally asked for help and was told there really wasn't any programs for her because she didn't have insurance so I left just thinking.."well, I guess you'll have to do it on your own, there is no help." Now, that is heartwrenching. At some point, I know she just has to grownup, but I don't know if I can survive this. I'm stressed 24/7 and sadly whenever she calls I get such bad anxiety. I can hardly be around her because she is so manipulative and I feel guilty that I try to avoid her. I always thought it'd be different if I just loved her more, spend more time with her and so as a mom, I blame myself because she is so messed up. Guilt just fuels the enabling.. Help.. any suggestions, advice??
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live? Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him? I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem. Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old
DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.
The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors.
Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.
The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.
Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.
I personally only used it twice, I think.
I HATED sitting in that line. I would rather just save the money myself and go buy it.
I don't know why they are closing it though???
personally,
i believe you might ought to go to the ER. They can help the immediate situation and/or refer you to the proper followup. You poor thing. I certainly sympathize. Some husbands just don't know how to be there when you need them most. There's surely also hotline numbers that could help, but i don't know them -- maybe in your phone book? You could also try a church counselor. But i really think the ER is your best bet, for comprehensive care. God bless you.
I did not mean that you personally were --sm
hiding your head in the sand, but that some people do and really are not aware of what is going on around them. The world is just not the place that it was intended to be or what it used to be 50 years ago, but this is all predestined, if you believe in what the Bible says. Nothing is going to change evil. It is here to stay and strengthen until the end. But I do believe that we have to be vigilent in order to protect ourselves from it.
as far as the media goes, well, I think they tend to over exaggerate other peoples misfortunes just to get ratings, and that is not going to change either, but as far as them giving this guy his 15 minutes of fame..he was already dead, so what does he care? too little too late. It did not make him feel any better now and hopefully he is already toasting his little toes, right where he should be. Just my opinion though and I do appreciate the fact that some people are tired of this stuff and care not to watch it on TV. You shouldn't have to.
Well I personally would not want that either
Was this your daughter's first wedding? And all you did was buy a dress and show up? Wow. My mom was there for all the planning, advice, etc., and she paid for it.
personally, I don't see how anyone has --sm
time to watch this stuff. I have to WORK for a living. I rarely even turn TV on much before eight at night, but for those of you with the time, glad you find them entertaining. Wish I could be in your shoes.
Not personally but my
My sister was visiting in Boston a couple years back and, on a lark, she and a friend went to see a psychic.
The woman was 100% on the spot. She recorded the session for my sister so she could bring it home and it was really interesting. Pegged our mother for being domineering and manipulative. Got the kids right, both my sisters kids and MY kids.. I was nowhere near there.
Told her a bunch of stuff about me too. Said I was the "fixer" and would be a loyal sister and friend for life.
Then she also mentioned our brother and said that he is much like our mother, though he refuses to believe it, and he puts on "airs" to try to make others around him feel like he is everything and they are nothing.
I would LOVE to go see this woman myself! hehe
I personally think
you can place the crystal and china any way you please - it's your home, your style. Decorate the way you like.
I personally think it went very well. sm
This is only the third time I have taught this class. I just fill in when needed. What made it so good was that there was so much discussion. Every person (10 of us)of course had pretty much the same idea about what heaven would be like as in no tears, no pain, etc., but they also had differing opinions about what we might see or discover. Most of us tend to think heaven will be a different experience for everyone. We won't all see the same things. Everyones heaven will be different. It was also very interesting sharing with everyone some of the posts from this site. No atheists in the class but they found some of the ideas of the ones here interesting so that lead to even more discussion. Several people told me after class what a good job I did. Honestly I didn't do much at all. It was just like on this board, I asked a question and it just snowballed from there. Actucally I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to fill up the entire class time but we almost ran out of time. Again thanks to everyone that responded.
I can't say that I personally see it...
in my day-to-day life (thank goodness!) but I do hear about it often from my husband. For example, 2 people he works with are currently having an extramarital affair...this will be the man's 2nd affair at this company. He got the other woman pregnant; they got caught; got fired; he got rehired! My parents and inlaws have been married forever also, as well as my sisters (but my brother is a different story...). I just know that cheating is all too common and it is a very, very painful experience for everyone involved. My DS just broke up with his GF of over 2 years because she cheated...broke my heart for him, but he's rebounding great...thankfully!
Not me personally
However, my best friend married a man 3 years younger than her oldest child. They are extremely happy and married 20+ years later. Some men in their 50s are like teens and some young 20-something men are extremely mature beyond their years.
I believe it is easier to date someone your own age (or approximately) and a better fit overall, but this would have to be an individual decision.
Lilly
I personally believe that there was some
sort of tragic accident and she panicked and tried to cover it up.
not personally, but
I have a male friend who lost 30 pounds using it. He liked the process, said it was easy, he didn't have to think about anything, maybe a little pricey but he lost the weight & has managed to keep it off.
I personally don't think that....... sm
it is not completely forgivable. If it were, then Jesus' death on the cross would not have been adequate to cover all sin (save blasphemy of the Holy Spirit) and we would all be in a pickle. I'd be interested to know what the OP bases her statement on...chapter and verse, please.
Personally, I think
these things are more interesting reading the a lot of what ends up on this board.
I'm too tired to come up with a list right now, but when I do, I will post. : )
Personally, I don't even consider
smoking pot (or eating, vaporizing, whatever) an attempt to escape anything. I don't do it anymore, and I feel physically horrible most days because of it. When I smoke pot, not only do I physically feel much, much better, I am not demotivated in the least. Because I am feeling good, I am able to get much more done than I otherwise would be able to do.
The only reasons I avoid it are A) I have underage children and I do not want them confiscated; and B)I learned that my state now has a zero tolerance drugged driving law (which simply means that one does not need to be impaired to be found guilty, but is based on any detectable level of the drug or its metabolites in the blood or urine). Notable to me is that some other states that also have the zero tolerance drugged driving law do exclude marijuana from it. I believe North Carolina is one of them. I also find it outrageous that there are people who are attempting to subject citizens to roadside drug testing, in the form of a roadblock similar to seatbelt/insurance roadblocks. No probable cause required, just testing everybody. Many of these people are those who make money off of drug testing and have, in the past, successfully lobbied for workplace testing. A very scary violation of citizens' rights, if you ask me.
well, I do not mean it personally, but
after all this was a competition and Gilles or Melissa deserved the crystal ball, not Shawn, sorry!
I personally like TracFone
I just bought a new one at Dollar General a few weeks ago after not having a cell for a few years. It was only $20 for this cute little Nokia with a built-in flashlight, and when I activated it online and registered with an email, I got 80 minutes free. I had a phone number in 10 minutes. You never lose your minutes but you do need to buy new minutes at least every 2 months to keep your phone number, which works out to $10/month. I've had TracFones on and off throughout the years and I've always had a good experience.
I personally don't consider this harassment
If he had actually made a comment about your breasts or some other part of your body, then yes, I would consider that sexual harassment. Since you stated he simply asked if you had found a piece of clothing that fit, I would not agree that this is considered sexual harassment. Honestly, it sounds like you're just being overly sensitive and taking his comment way out of line. I mean if he had made the same exact comment about a pair of shoes or something, would you have been offended?? I agree that it was none of his business, but not something he should be fired over.
Personally I'd have the surgery
I know it's a scary situation to be in and a big decision to make but I would do everything I could to take away the doubt that it might some day come back. Of course there are no guarantees but I'd put the odds in my favor.
I personally like the lizard better. nm
nm
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