Person holding POA changes it, but - sm
Posted By: too late now? on 2009-03-05
In Reply to: Update... - steph13
my mother is in ALF now with dementia and my sister has POA for everything with my mother. If your GF was having problems with dementia, I am not surprised he did not pursue changing the benefits; that would not usually be handled by an attorney unless the attorney had power of attorney to provide that service. It seems that should have been handled by your aunt.
I can't imagine changing the beneficiary on anything now that your GF has passed. Is that legal? I'm not a lawyer so I don't know. It sounds as though you and your brother need to see one who can give you advice. Morally, it would be your aunt's responsibility to handle your GF's affairs in the way he wanted it handled. Unfortunately after a death, intent carries no weight and events can get ugly.
Now that my mom has dementia and my sister is not handling things the way my mom would want, my only option is to take her to court which is something I have no money to do. I have to turn the other cheek and focus on my mother's wellbeing instead.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
My age? 39 and holding... Nah, really
will be 66 this spring, ahh, a spring chicken. My arm lift did not turn out good, unlike everything else I was very pleased with. I probably did not do enough research on this, kept asking doctor for before and after pictures, never saw those and I just took my chances and there was virtually no change. I have heard where a physician can lift the arms from under the armpits. I loved my tummy tuck, that was great and I had 2 facelifts, might get tweaked again this year. I have had fillers around the mouth but they only last a few months and they are sorta costly. I had 1 facelift in a doctor's office under heavy sedation, really not that bad and probably with my age do not want any general anesthesia with just electives. I think most older women look lots better with some coverage on their arms. I am trying to think of 1 that I think looks pretty okay, can you name 1 you think looks alright? The scars are on underneath the arms but having BP taken is really bad, arms sensitive.
Unless he was holding one of the ....
guns with a pirate in his sites, the SEALs get all the credit in my book.
Wannie, how are you holding up hun?
Just letting you know you and your mom are in my thoughts.
Getting over holding onto your stuff sm
It is hard to part with things but sometimes (depending on where you live) you can "buy" a table at a craft show/bazaar, etc. Check the price - they go from $10 to $500 around here for a spot. Just check to see if you can go under their license and sales tax # and just "sell". Once you sell the first piece, it will give you an incentive to sell more. Also, if you trust E-bay, some people will buy anything on there. I don't know how to trust -- my problem, don't want to be flim-flammed. My sons both had bad experiences on there. My sister buys and sells all the time. She also sells the beads right off her neck if someone admires them. It's all a matter of passion in your belly, opportunity and researching how to do it. At some of these craft fairs you can "barter" with others, i.e., they may like a Halloween craft and you may like a Christmas ornament, so you "barter" and exchange. After you make your first dollar, you'll be ready to get into it. My sister does very well. I am the shy one. Perhaps that's why I chose transcription, I am a listener. Hope others can help you out with ideas.
I think she's holding her composure really well considering
he's been cheating on her with a younger woman for months, leaving her home to tend to the children while he spends weekends and sometimes weeks away. She's stronger than I am....
Otters holding hands
Go to YouTube.com and key in otters holding hands, and you will see the most adorable video of these guys! They are actually holding hands, and when they break apart, they get back together, one reaching out to the other to get his hand! The video is amazing!
Yes, holding it at a young age is really easy-
but as you age the problem of incontinence rears its ugly head. As a young woman, no problem but now, well lets just say I have an appt with the urologist for this Friday.
Talk about holding a grudge
Years ago when my son was younger he was hurt in an accident and received about $7,000. I had to use the money raising him at that time but the other day (years later now) I offered to pay back what I feel I owe him and he said no. I have not seen nor spoken to him since 2004- over money my father left me- but my daughter called him and made the offer. She was very upset- me, hey that is what we call cutting off your nose to spite your face. No problem here if he did not want to accept. I offered, he refused.
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
It probably varies from person to person (sm)
With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him. I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?
Second child, same experience. She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs. I had already put my regular clothes back on as well. My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.
I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases. With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.
No, I am not that person...sm
Nor am I trying to be ugly...I think YOU come first in this situation. If not, you'll get in deep trouble with your health, then what? Your family needs you...take care of yourself, and make your husband pitch in...that's all I'm sayin'
Who is this person?
I have no clue who this person is.
I saw a person having 1 of those 1 day
and they could do like all the other people around, just ignored it. I was in a public building, guy down and frothing at the mouth, not a good scene but totally ignored.
What do you think causes a person to be --sm
unable to show feelings/compassion for anyone else? I have a friend?? who shows no emotion at all. Says it is the way she was brought up and her family are not talkers. I shared some devastating news about my son with her last night and she has shown more sympathy to her dog after it was spayed than she did to me. Just do not understand how someone can see a person as broken as I was last night and offer absolutely no comfort.
I think that person needs more than just a
xx
Perhaps you could help me tell if this person is just like you or not?
If not that is fine, but you could probably use your "talent" to help others, like a PI or something.
Are you the same person who
posted a month or so ago having sent an e-mail to your husband's family regarding your husband's brother who is in jail and the father's apparent favortism? Just curious if this is the same family we are talking about. I remember that husband was bipolar and alcoholic.
I don't know the legalities of the situation but you might have to go through the garbage of calling the police, the dramatics and the ER one last and final time. But then be done with it. He's not choosing to get better and you can't make him. Change the locks.
Be strong. Hugs to you. 
Mom of 3 you are one nasty person...
I hope your children dont take after you. Teaching them responsibility is one thing but pure nastiness is another.....
What a Wonderful Person
I wish I knew more people like you. It's too bad that some people are like this, but unfortunately the world is so much different thatit used to be. Keep doing what makes you happy.
The person who last had our number...sm
still uses it, so we get calls for her all the time! We got this number over a year ago when we moved and constantly get calls for her. We always tell them this is not her number anymore, but I guess lately she's been using it to give to loan places because they told us this. They apologize but it still stinks. She has a lot of debt out there, especially for school loans. We don't want to change it, though, and go through the same thing again and having to tell everyone our new number for nothing. We're also signed up at the Do Not Call website.
how condescending can a person be?
After I had a surgery 2 years ago, I gained an incredible amount of weight - not water. Last May I started going to the pool and doing water aerobics every single day for 2 months and changed to a low-fat diet. I did not lose weight, but I was replacing fat with muscle, which is the first step with the amount of weight I was dealing with. Then I started getting one URI and sinus infection/ear infection after another. All that exercise kicked my GI tract into hyperdrive. Now I have IBS and colitis. I can't exercise because I have to battle real and exhausting pain for the next 2 hours. I have pain every single day. I no longer have hunger pains as normal people do, so I really do have problems knowing when it is appropriate for me to eat. I've been with 2 different GI's during this time, failed 5 or 6 different medicines, and still can't lose weight, diet or exercise. My pay has been cut in half. I had to quit my second job and only work part time now instead of full time - all because I wanted to get healthy and in shape again.
The next time you think having extra weight is a choice, let me invite you to pay the $600/month I pay for medicines to control my GI tract issues. 
I usually tip 15% because I also tip the shampoo person.,,,,
But if the hairdresser does it all, including the shampoo, etc., I tip closer to 20%.
I would say either try a contact person where the
contact may be someone in the Social Services for your state. Maybe even the Division of Child Welfare. I would look in the phonebook under government agencies. I bet a social worker may be able to help or guide you in the right direction. I knew someone who had a child with cerebral palsy that took the insurance offered from the employer, but was able to get Medicaid for the child as a supplement for things the primary did not cover. I am not sure if this is state-by-state though. Hope this helps. Good luck to you and your daughter as her children do need health insurance.
To The Person Who E-mailed Me
The calling card is yours if you want, but I didn't receive a reply address; the "From" field was blank for some reason. If you could resend, that would be great!
I think it depends on the person....
xx
It seems to me the person should be talking
to the person they are having dinner with and not someone on a phone. And as posted below, they usually have to talk rather loud and I do find that annoying.
To the person who e-mailed me...
Thanks so much for the information about BioSpot. I had no idea and I should have done my research beforehand. I have already ordered it but will be sending it back. I finally figured out that the Zodiac has been making my dog very itchy, so much so she has a hot spot now. Used it before but did not put two and two together. I think I will try the Frontline.
Thanks again for the warning! Hope your cat is doing better now.
Take it seriously and report to the person
you would think would be most instrumental in getting the assistance she seems to need.
U must be a wonderful person....
to have two such beautiful people in your life. Sounds like you have a great family!
This person is not a friend
You could use all kinds of psychological terms like "codependent" and "enabling" but the fact is, she is a mooch and you are a sucker.
Harsh, I know, because you were trying to be nice and help someone. But there are some people you just can't be "nice" to. They will walk all over you. Obviously, she is one of those people.
If you're angry at anyone, you should be angry at yourself for taking so long to figure this out.
But that would be a waste of time. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Cut your ties with this person as much as possible, and if on occasion you have to see her for whatever reason, practice saying "No. No. NO."
I think that person is just a LURKER, trying to
Not a person worth taking seriously, wouldn't you say?
Thanks everyone and to the person who emailed me.
x
Would I be a horrible person if
I got my cats declawed? I'm totally against declawing, but my husband is REALLY mad and says either we get them declawed or they have to go. We just got brand new furniture and they have the arm of the sofa snagged up already, luckily it is the piece that is being replaced cause the delivery people broke a board on it bringing it into the house. I don't know what to do, I would never get rid of my cats for doing something that is in their nature. I already have scratching pads and a post and put the catnip on it. They must just have more fun scratching the furniture. Any ideas, suggestions? 
Compassionate pet person
Have the owners come home yet?
He is very cute and I'm a cat person
xx
I'm a night person
I'm more comfortable typing between 1:00-3:00 a.m. when all is quite with no interruptions. I hate mornings.
Morning person
This sounds exactly like me! My eyes pop open without an alarm clock at 4:30-5:00 a.m. in the morning. I have trouble keeping my eyes open past 9:00 p.m. It's nice to know I'm not the only one in the world. I get so many "that's weird you get up so early" statements, I was starting to believe them!
Don't worry - it was just one person (sm)
You can't please everyone all of the time :-)
Everyone is strange to someone :-)
You didn't do anything wrong!!
famous person
Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn (Lord of the Rings)...
Famous person
John Edward (psychic) so he could give me a reading.
Thanks for not telling me I'm a bad person!! (sm)
I so much wish that my kids would want to go - I would love to have her have them over as much as she wants if they were happy about it. That would be wonderful! I am kind of afraid to mention it to her because I am pretty sure she will accuse me of spoiling them or that I just don't want to share them but that is far from the truth. I want them to go - if they will go happily - but it is really hard to have them crying and begging and make them go anyway. I will try to talk to her though...we'll see what happens!
And it comes down to a lot more than what a person likes and does not s/m
like. We are talking being subjected to breathing those toxins which create a life-threatening environment. I hope I live long enough to not have to say NONSMOKING in a restaurant. It is unthinkable that we are subjected to this in 2007. I feel for you, I really do.
I know how attached a person can get
because I own cats as well, 3 of them. I have just sent a check to the ASPCA to help spay/neuter animals to cut down on the ones being born that are feral. I also have a letter from a feral place asking for a donation to help out their animals. These are 2 things I am giving to this Christmas plus have sent some money to a mother of several children and tomorrow am meeting a lady at a closeby Wal-Mart who put on Craigs List about wanting coats and shoes for her 2 sons and I hope to be able to find those for them. I am not, understand, blowing my own horn but gosh I am feeling so good about the places I have chosen to give assistance to. I read through Craigs and picked out the 2 I thought needed some assistance and then the other 2 I have been contacted about through the mail. I get more pleasure out of giving actually than I do receiving- older broad here and I have been blessed so much already.
My MIL is really a good person sm
She raised her son to be a wonderul husband and father. She is a fabulous grandmother. She has rarely tried to tell me how to raise my children, usually she just makes innocent suggestions. I really like her but she is a dingbat. A very lovable dingbat. Even my DH agrees. She just called me to ask about a gift for my daughter and while on the phone her other line rang. She said good-bye and then put me on hold. Now when I try to use my phone I hear music. I have no signal on my cell right now (typical on a cloudy day) so I can't call to tell her. ARRRRGGGGHHHH!
That's what I thought. Is this person an
xx
i'd find a different tax person
there are many that could find the right deductions. In my opinion,she is 'slow' socially, and with no more good sense/judgment that she shows, i'd want to stay clear of her and have her far away from my personal affairs, which she may well unethically blab about as well...
I would find a different tax person. sm
My husband is very shy, stand offish, I'm the one always talking (I'm the outgoing one, he's more reserved, stay at home kinda person). I would have taken offense to the remark she made. I would definitely find a different tax person.
Yep, I know of a person named -- sm
hunter greene. I also know of a young lady named Kinda Foxxy. lol
Thanks to the person who emailed
I'm a bit too paranoid to email back but I wanted to thank you for writing. It did make me feel better. I actually don't come here that often so that's good. And I am doing some deep thinking about my situation. 
The person talking with was
my 88-year-old aunt who is in Hospice with cancer and dying in another state. Oh, I see my daugher frequently- we eat out, she visits in my home, I in hers. She was just here about a week ago. As far as the peace, I am thankful for this now as I have not had in the past and I wish the children the same.
Yes I am THAT kind of person.
I had to give up the kids because the dogs were allergic.
|
