Perhaps I'm playing devil's advocate or maybe I need a
Posted By: Reality Check on 2008-12-17
In Reply to: Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon
But, I just don't get it.
If things are this dire and it sounds as if what you have posted about him is true, it sounds like you need to spend EVERY POSSIBLE MOMENT getting out of this situation to protect yourself but, most importantly, to protect your children.
What I don't understand is, if time is of the essence and you're taking all of these steps to extricate yourself and your children from this situation...
Why are you wasting precious time soliciting the opinions of virtual STRANGER on an internet forum, and wasting hours arguing with posters?
I dunno...I've never been in an abusive situation, but it seems to me soliciting advice and sympathy from strangers on the internet would be the LAST thing on my mind.
Best of luck to you. It's 2008. If you really want to get out of that situation, and get your children out of it, you can and will.
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Just to play devil's advocate...
there are many women who LIKE to play the victim, poor me, I sacrifice all the time role. IMHO, this is a lot of psychobabble designed by women to further their status as the downtrodden gender. No one can MAKE you not take care of yourself first; you choose to do that to yourself. It doesn't take a genius (or Oprah) to figure out that if you do for others all the time and are not taking the time to take care of yourself that you are eventually going to wear thin and fall apart. Too many women on anti-whatever drugs (anxiety, depression) who can't figure out how to go through day to day existence without mother's little helper pill. It only stands to reason that if you try to be perfect you will fail; something will be neglected in the long run. Deal with it, do the best you can and don't be a doormat. If you fill your face with junk all the time and are fat and don't exercise, that is nobody's fault but your own. If you try to do it all and don't ask for help, that too is your own fault. Women today have it much easier than other generations did. My mother-in-lawr raised 4 boys, worked on the family dairy farm, cooked 3 meals a day and cleaned every day and never thought twice about it. We are spoiled compared to that!
Jen is the DEVIL. sm
I never saw anyone so totally self-absorbed in my entire life. I'm sad to see Joe & Diick (2 of my favorite people on this year's show) up for eviction this week, but STILL, I sure am looking forward to watching whoever of them remains totally kick Jen's red-Lycra-clad gluteus maximus.
PS! What the __???? I had to purposely misspell D's name above, 'cuz the software kept telling me this was a *bad word*! LOL
The Jersey Devil!
I grew up in South Jersey, and I was told about the Jersey Devil. It's a local legend, and it's a long tale. But if you Google "Jersey Devil" you'll see that this story has some oomph to it! I believed it as a child, and I think I still believe it! In any case, I still get the willies when I'm camping in the Pine Barrens at night!
Totally agree! which is why I advocate
providing one's own happiness regardless of whether you are in or out of a relationship.
high 5!
I did try to get a consumer advocate involved
but no luck. Called 1 day and would not take my call, guess he had more important ones that day. I agree totally with you about getting a news channel involved, I just decided maybe if I went the court way might would stand a chance, knew I could go after their banking acct or garnishment if the courts on my side and it turned out that way. The price they owe me has gone up over $100 just for my court costs and now they owe those in addition to what it was in the first place. The courthouse steps is the way the county does where I purchased the furniture. We could have it at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as long as I retrieve what is owed.
I agree! Read Devil Wears Prada
before it became a hit movie. Glad I'm not the only one who likes that kind of stuff. :)
there is a patient advocate or ombudsman in every state...
whose job it is to deal with things like this. the nursing home can give you the number and it MUST be posted somewhere. If you ask for this number, chances are, they will find the ring if at all possible because they do NOT want to deal with this type of mess, but you should definitely get in contact with him.
I am a CASA (court appointed special advocate) and I personally see nothing (sm)
wrong with mothers working at home while their children are there. For goodness sake, the mother can get up and check on them, the children can come to mommy with a problem. They are not unattended. If I were investigating a case as a possible neglect situation where the children were at home with mom working I would have to laugh.
I have seen many more neglectful moms who were doing nothing, I mean nothing except talking on the phone, watching soaps, napping, engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviors, using drugs or alcohol, etc. These parents are by far the more neglectful and causing more harm to their children.
The children of MTs are observing mom multi-task and yet they still have the advantage of having her there to break up an argument, put on a bandaid, etc.
With all the horror stories of day care anymore how can you even suggest they are harming their children.
$60 playing Bingo, would have been $120 - sm
but just as they were about to give me the money, someone shouted out Bingo; guess he was a bit slow to realize he had won, so the pot was split, disappointing but still fun. I also won a green malachite faced gold watch (not real gold, plate if that) in a contest; it had a first prize of a Corvette or $50K, and 100 2nd prizes of the watches (always wished my name had been picked first). I know there are 1 or 2 other things, but totally drawing a blank, nothing big whatever they were.
Had shingles before, do not think that is playing
a role and gosh I would hope it would be costochondritis. Funny to say that but when I pulled up some other things, much worse than I would care to hear was wrong. I have physical exam scheduled for a day next month but think I will just walk in either this Sunday or Monday and just wait to see someone. The pain is really unbearable. I took Tramadol for it but dulls a little but not all.
Was out with 3 yo grandson at 6:30 a.m. playing!!
Not really a snow lover myself anymore, but it sure was fun to watch his excitement. He even got old ski poles out of the barn and was skiing the imaginary slopes, swooosh! Of course mamaw had to be right there along with him!
Playing the game
1. I'm a HUGE flirt!
2. Can manage LOTS of money at my other job but can't seem to manage 3.00 in my own checking account {sigh}.
3. Would love to hop in an RV and travel the country!
He's playing you like a violin.
Drop him off at a shelter. End of story.
Doctors here are down playing it.
They are telling us it is no worse than any other flu you get. They also say the worst is over. However, my daughters Girl Scout trip they were supposed to take tomorrow still got cancelled as with a lot of UIL events.
Baby? That pic shows a kid playing with a See & Say!
If that kid is old enough to pull on the handle, then that kid is also old enough to drink from a sippy cup! Come on, people! Wake up! This lady could have easily bottled her breast milk instead of whipping it out (discreetly or not) on a plane full of people. Nothing like trapping a bunch of people on a plane and putting them in a very uncomfortable situation!
I breastfed my daughter until she started walking. After that, she went on a bottle, then to a sippy cup, then to a regular cup. She's 18 years old now and quite well adjusted.
And, we are not living in a third world country where kids up to 5 yrs old run up to their mother and just start suckin on a tit! This is America, where it's more cultured, where there are other options.
I remember a time when I was a kid at Disneyland and I saw a lady with her baby sitting on a bench. I wanted to see the baby and walked past just in time to see the woman whip out her tit for all to see. My mother was so enraged that she reported her and stood right next to the woman until security arrived and they told the lady that there were baby stations all around Disneyland where she could go to have privacy with her baby during feeding time. BTW, there are still baby stations with seating for mothers to breastfeed their babies.
No...worked it off playing my son's dang (sm)
My son just got the Nintendo Wii. If you're not familiar with this contraption, you actually go through the motions.
I played tennis and bowling all day long TG and I am SO sore!!! My right arm feels like it's about to fall off. Every time I reach for my mouse, I wince...
Yeah, been doing my fair share of grazing... will work it off at the mall lol ;-)
You are playing with fire and someone is going to get burned. sm
Infedility by any means is not moral and it is not right. Your husband has every right to be upset, as would I if my husband were doing the same. I'm not condemning you, I'm saying what I would tell anyone. In fact, my best friend brought a guy to the movies with us the other night and she is MARRIED. Needless to say, I was very upset and called her after the movie and told her I didn't think that was very cool.
I bet you 99% of the responders to this post will agree that what you are doing is not right.
It's just exciting and fun right now and not at all worth it in the end. If your husband finds out he may never respect or trust you ever again.
Also, what helps me if I ever, ever get an inkling to stray (which has happened once in our 10-year marriage), is to think about ALL my husband has been through with me and put up and has done for me (which is A LOT), and eventually the "other guy" just doesn't seem that appealing anymore. It actually made me cry when I began thinking of all my husband has done for me and my child (I was married once before we met).
Anyways, you have to stop it. Leading a double life weighs very heavy on your conscience. It's no fun. Not good for your health.
Oh, one more thing! Why is he single, if he is? He's probably a jerk. He ditched you once, right? If he's willing to hang on to you even though he knows you are married? He's not worth it, girl.
I was 7 or 8, playing Barbies with my friend.
I can't remember if we heard it on the radio, or if our parents were talking about it. I didn't have a clue at the time who Elvis was, but I knew that it was important.
You are so lucky to have a cat who enjoys playing!
 Mine is too old now to do much more than swat at the grim reaper every now and again. He's almost 16 now and he's getting kinda stinky. He always was a grump though. He'll come in here and park himself right on my mouse...I mean like direct butthole contact with the mouse, and when I try to shoo him away, he flattens his ears and hisses at me and growls. At least he's still doing that I suppose.
My docs seem to be playing catch-up. I see it as
x
Been playing all my favs to get me in the mood, as if I had to. ##
.
Nope......but I keep playing PowerBall!! nm
x
No, I wouldn't do that. Why playing cat and mouse?
It is your husband's duty to settle this in a way that the wife and the father are both content.
clarify please-u mean woman playing Mary.....sm
You do mean the person playing character of Mary in this movie got pregnant as a teen?
Welcome to the 21st Century, m'dear.........*lol* - not many couples are getting married today (although the gay community sure is trying to get married).....but the numbers are WAY down for hetero couples.........
in any event, it's just a flick/movie - what do you care about the actors/actresses who are playing the characters? 
She's no woman, she IS 16 y/o. She is playing part of Mary
and she got pregnant by her 19 y/o boyfriend.
sounds like you guys are playing a game,
nm
spent NYE playing Rock Band for PS2
a lot of fun though discovered I'm never going to be a drummer (or a singer) :) So I guess I won't quit my day job.
Well, 70s here in the south. Boys outside all day playing basketball sm
haven't seen snow in years and would love a little reprieve from the HEAT!
Turning on floodlites and playing ball in yard with
df
And this is also possible - even just 15 minutes of focused time playing a game when he first gets u
anything like that. I really believe he is either sick or he just wants a little one-on-one time with you.
Spent 2 hours with my kids playing that today - fun! nm
x
Ha! me too (petticoat veils), and a towel for playing Nuns! NM
.
I meant playing peek-a-boo with the flight attendant..c'mon now.
Just a joke. This kid was too big and she refused a blanket. I have nothing against people breastfeeding infants in public, discreetly. However, for toddlers, I say bottle it, please.
I say silver. Will they be playing music by Deep Purple at the wedding? lol
x
Don't use alcohol. Fumes are no good. Just playing in a coolish bath while
s
Anyone out there with a college kid on a full scholarship, out of state, not playing sports???sm
If so, how did they get the scholarship/scholarships to go out of state? My junior wants to go out of state and I've told her that she has to find the money to go, especially since our state has a lottery paid college education program that pays tuition and some of the books/fees as long as a student keeps their grades at a B-average or higher. She is thinking about studying broadcasting. She has no special talents and doesn't do volunteer work or participate in anything but drama club...nothing to make her especially shine. She is an A/B student. We don't have the money for out of state tuition and even covering just the expenses that in-state lottery funded fees will be difficult but do-able if we can get her excited about one of the many state schools available.
Anyone have their child figure out how to do this?
One year really punk rock station starting playing Barry SM
Manilow, Sammy Davis Jr., The Carpenters and goodness knows who else. I never listened to that station, except for that day, only to hear stoners waking up at 2 pm and calling the station asking what was going on.
My dad told me that I got the chicken pox from playing in the chicken coop. I believed him for years
nm
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