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People bring of valuable insights, but...sm

Posted By: Mom of 6 on 2008-12-26
In Reply to: How do you decide to have a baby? - feeling selfish

I can't say that we could ever afford to have a child, let alone 6, but we did. Most of their childhood I was divorced and supported them alone. It was hard, we had most of the necessities and a few of the wants. Now that they are grown, they say over and over how they were didn't feel deprived, they felt spoiled in many ways. Every one of them has something special that they shared with me, just the 2 of us. They ended up feeling special because of these one on one things. I was adamant that they grow up to be individuals and not part of the pack. I did an excellent job of that. They are all hard workers and thrifty because of what they grew with and without.

It was a difficult time, and yet we remember it as a happy time with lots of love.

The ONLY reason to have a child is a selfish one. I had mine because doggonit, I just LOVE babies, young children, older children, tweens and teens. Now that they are emerging and young adults, I love them even more. I spoiled them with as much time, attention and interaction as I could give them, which even with 6, turned out to be a lot. I have enjoyed and still enjoy watching them grow as people, as individuals. I watch them make choices and learn from them. I see them carry on with their own lives and pretty well ignore me, and I would not have any other way. Let something happen...like one of my sons is divorcing his abusive wife after 5 years (no kids) and he needs his mama to listen, sympathize, comfort and be there for him without judgment, no I-told-you-sos, no recriminations...and with plenty of love and support.

I don't feel that children are necessary for anyone, man or woman, to have in their lives. They were necessary for ME, as necessary as air, water and food! I say, if you want them because you want them because you do, you just do...HAVE THEM and have the number you want, be that 1 or 10. If want to have them to carry on the family name, or because everyone else you know is having one, or because those little pink dresses are so cute, or because your parents want you to have them...those are the wrong reasons and you will be unhappy.

I had my first one because my ex really believed he wanted a child. What he wanted was another person on the planet to worship him and do his bidding. He didn't think he would have to put in any work, either emotional or physical, and the child would adore him on sight. I was not really ready, but I capitulated. I believed differently about children and I understood that they are not in my life to love and revere me, I am in THEIR lives to love and revere THEM. Ends up my kids and I are very close, both boys and girls alike because I did it right.

Do what you want, just be sure you know what that is beforehand.


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Thank you also for your views and insights nm
x
Thank you so for your valuable input. I

had no idea this was the humble-poster board. My bad. You really have caused me to pause and reflect....


valuable commodity
I buy my beef from a local rancher. I have spent all day on a tour of his ranch and cattle which are bred to need less interference from humans. I agree with his philosophies of raising cattle. He does not cater to a niche. His beef is cheap because he has no overhead. He is trying to get people to stop growing corn on the prairie to give to cows, when the cows can make food out of the prairie to begin with. Domesticating animals for mass food production is extremely important where I live, but around here is the feed lots versus the grazers, and I have picked sides. The cow tastes like what it ate when it grazed, that is fine with me, I know how to use a spice rack.
Thank you for those of you who gave valuable info!
I've lived in an apartment my entire adult life and had no idea that a fence would cost that much and all the tools/materials that are involved in building a fence! I got some great info from the majority of the people that responded and truly thank those people :)
I'm not dissing your site but WW was a very valuable tool sm
for me. I lost 70+ lb there a few years ago and could not have done it on my own. Very supportive, everyone else has food issues just like you do. I am not a "joiner" but I really felt supported and got good insights into my behavior when I was a regular WW member. It can't hurt - and it's not that expensive.

If you are obsessing about what you eat, definitely seek some kind of support group - whether it is online or in person is up to you, but it helps to get perspective from others like you.
Our teenager learned a valuable lesson today about cell phones....

She got a new cell phone last month and downloaded a bunch of ringtones, even though I reminded her that each one costs money + the transfer fee, which the system prompts you for as we don't have the internet plan for the cell phone (don't do text messaging either).   Well, she ignored the prompts about the 3 cents per kilibite fee and size of the files alert when she accepted the downloads she selected.  To make a long story short..... her bill for her downloads is right at $60. 


She is crying that she has to pay this bill but I'm not working overtime because she ignored my telling her about the costs and accepted the charges.  This will teach her a lesson on responsibility.  She was expecting the bill to be about $20.  She'll be babysitting up a storm this next month to pay this bill!


Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
I'd bring it up with him...
That was pretty rude of the BF.
Bring someone with you
I heard on the radio the other day that a man advertised a room on craigslist, then when the woman showed up to look, he assaulted her; threw her down on a bed & tried to attack her.

Bring someone with you. Finding a room on craigslist can be a great thing, or it can be a ruse for lowlifes.

If it turns out to be legitimate, get very clear ahead of time on what they expect of you in exchange for rent & that they know you will be working.


to each his/her own - I couldn't bring myself

of who made the movie and the director/producer's family history...........


to each her/his own..................


different strokes for different folks, and so on and so on and dooby dooby doo bah.......(lyrics from Sly and The Family Stone)


Bring the dog to my house
I would go get the dog and bring the dog to my house and take care of it. 
so, did you bring the dog to your yard?
nm
I own it on DVD, but can't bring myself to actually watch it!
It seems way too sad! My husband will never watch it with me because it's a "chick flick." LOL!
you bring up my dilemna
I notice that you say you went to your grandparents as a child but now you expect your children's grandparents to come to you.  I am soon to be a grandmother - DD and SIL make 200,000.00 a year and work only 40 hours weeks. I am struggling with 2 jobs - 60 hours a week, no days off, to make ends meet (was divorced and their father pretty much left me to pay for everything - now credit cards have been paid with my retirement and rolled into house payment).   We went to my grandparents and I took my children to their grandparents for most visits, why now is it my responsibility to get to them?  Do you spent at least equal time going to the grandparents' houses?  What changed?
How did it turn out, what did you bring???
Love to know!
I would bring mom home
Sounds like it is time to bring her closer to you.
Maybe bring him to your home, until you can get those slackers out of there.
x
You could even bring back the Macarena! :) nm
n
in my opinion, if you don't want to discuss it here, why did you bring it here?--sm
You write a lengthy post and then dismiss any response with *I don't want to discuss it here.* You are not looking for help then. sorry. JMO
Do you mean cut flowers to bring inside,
or do you want an inside plant that blooms?

I am an outside gardener myself. If it's outside flowers you are interested, where do you live or what is your zone?
They should bring the dog in and tie the dog-hitting kids.....
:(
Maybe you could just bring up casually in conversation

how much you enjoy the squirrels, and how much it pains you to see when one has been run over. Don't mention the incident at all, just talk in general about squirrels. Even if she views squirrels as pests, hopefully your talking to her will make her more aware of them when she is driving.


I love squirrels, too, and fortunately I have never hit one, but I tell you, more than once I have nearly had a wreck trying NOT to hit one. They are tricky little devils!


Ah...our furbabies. They bring such joy and sadness.
I have been where you are and my thoughts are with you.  Mine died 4 years ago and I still miss him every day even though I have since adopted 2 more.  Each one is special and unique.  You are doing a good job...hang in there.
Anything cherry or lemon! Bring it on!
xx
Nope, the shopping can bring you down if (sm)
you go to the wrong place and the people are grumpy.

I normally kind of like to see the people out and feel like I'm participating in something big, I don't get married to the idea of getting a lot of stuff, and today I was glad I didn't, because I got up and went to Kohl's (5 mins from my house) to get an item I saw in the flyer and couldn't find it! Searched all over the store. Then I realized the checkout lines were by this time all the way to the back of the store and I thought, eh, heck with it, and went back home!

I did try to smile at the other folks I saw, and I tried to think of just being out in the nice clear cold morning for a change as I'm not typically a willing early riser. Got to see the morning star and all that.

Hope you're able to find your happy place today!
Nothing like money to bring out the love, huh?
I'm about to file an adoption petition for my granddaughter. My daughter is willing to consent to the adoption, but we have no idea (for over 2 years) where the dud is. We have to do all this stuff to make sure the dud has been notified before we terminate his rights on her (for abandonment), but my lawyer made a point. Sometimes a dud will find out someone came into money and wants to be a father for the first time.

I feel for your friend and hope she keeps a flame thrower loaded and ready for this jerk and that family. She may end up needing to use some of that money on a lawyer to keep the guy away. She will be in my thoughts.
He does bring up some good points, but -
He fails to say how all these countries offer the *free* healthcare.  That is because it is not truly a free ride.  Every time they pay $6 or more for a gallon of their heavily taxed gasoline they are paying for it.  I know for a fact the property taxes in both Germany and England are outrageous because I have lived both places.  The British also pay outrageous prices for telephone service, must register each TV they have in their home every year and pay to use it, the list goes on and on.  So, while they walk out of the hospital without handing over any money, they have in fact paid for it in various other ways.  Not quite sure Americans would go for some of this since we are already screaming about $3 for a gallon of gas. 
DRAT,,,, I can bring up the U tubes but
I can't get them to play.
Wonder what's wrong. Guess I have to check it out further but really would enjoy seeing in. I love your description.
Bring him in. My BIL had this a few weeks back...

went in, had cath done and had two 70-75% stenosed arteries, CHF, 10% function and may need a transplant. They stabilized him with meds and he is at home with a cardiac vest. He has not felt well for the past year, but kept putting the doctor visit off. Of course, they told him that had he come in sooner it wouldn't be this bad. Good luck.


funny you should bring up warts,
I remember my mother's great-aunt putting an aspirin an a band-aid on one I had on the side of my thumb before I went to bed and the next day when I awoke, it was gone. I have always been suspicious though because the band-aid was gone, too! I started this thread because we are losing all that info and we may actually need it some day, that is why I wanted what works on here. Thanks everybody who contributed. L
Bring ads from other stores. Most pricematch..sm.

So you don't have to worry about trying to get to the other stores before the sale item is gone, bring the ads from the other stores with you. Most store will match the price of other stores if you bring in the ad!! Thus eliminating running all over town in a mad rush.  All you have to do is get to the "sale item" at that store first before it's gone, then you can relax while getting the stuff from the other ads because there'll be plenty of stock cuz it's not on sale there.  It makes it sooo much easier and a lot less stressful.  I hope I worded that so it makes sense. I'm tired.


Or, get together the day before with a few other people who are going. Each of you is designated a different store and picks up what the others want at their designated store.  Then meet for breakfast afterwards to exchange the purchases as well as horror/humor stories from the "adventures." Thus, again, eliminating the "rushing" from one place to another. 


I think I'll stay in and shop online this year.  I heard you can do that for the black friday sales and some store will even let you buy online and pick up at the store. (later, after the rush and madness is over!)  


For the "virgin" poster, beware, some people can be downright mean, nasty, rude and even violent that morning.  Seriously.  Oh, and NEVER leave your cart unattended if you were lucky enough to get one of the "limted amounts per store" items.  People will literally take them right out of your cart if you're not watching. Keep your stuff buried beneath your coat at the bottom of the cart and NEVER let your cart leave your side.  And keep your purse in sight at all times.  If you bring a purse, have it hang in front of you and not on your side.  I like to just keep my money and/or credit card tucked snugly in my front pocket of my jeans and not even bother with a purse.


Wow does that bring back memories
Homemade chicken soup, sourdough bread, wine, and some German pastry thing for dessert (we lived in Germany).

So I can remember 27 years ago, but darn if I can't remember what we had last week. :-)
Signing in, yes, but have to bring a form
filled out and signed by the other school's principal? That's a little over the top. If it's about permission, they should ask the parents, not the other school anyway. So strange...
Bring something in a crock pot that you can plug in at the office & set on low.

/


If she really loved him, she would bring church to him. She wouldn't go if sm
he didn't want her to go and would respect him. That is just my opinion.
I don't bring my dog anywhere around food, unless it's nice weather and

the tables and chairs.  It is allowed where I live.  I have never seen anyone bring their dog into the grocery store unless it is an assist dog,  I do bring my dog in her stroller into the mall and I have yet to have gotten kicked out over it.  Children LOVE to look at my dog in the stroller. It is the type of stroller that has a screen on it so children can look and parents are not fearful that my dog would bite.  My dog doesn't bite but it's an added precaution. 


In comparison, my dog is friendly, is not a yapper, is well groomed, and potty trained.  I have seen many, many children who are ill behaved, running around uncontrollably and I've several times passed by babies in strollers who smell like their diaper hasn't been changed in a week. 


To the person who supposedly has the severe allergy, I say this...If you have such a severe allergy to dogs, then you most likely have severe allergies to a bunch of other stuff, too, and like the other poster said, you could just as easily be allergic to passing by the perfume counter as you would my 4 lb. chihuahua.


Lastly, to the OP, you need a lesson in manners. Even if you don't agree with the dog being in the store, you shouldn't have gotten ugly with the owner.  She was minding her business, why didn't you just mind yours?


 


Comfortable shoes! Bring a few different pairs :)
As far as clothing, anything goes!
If you think it will bring you peace of mind and you're
s
And bring lots of candy gelt.
x
You're talking about 2 different posts. Please don't bring that
I don't care which side you're on. I'm just getting tired of the boards all being covered with religion. Take it to the Faith board please.
Completely agree with your post. Don't bring sm
ANYTHING to school or on bus. It will get stolen and how could you even prove the game belonged to your son?

Agree with chalk it up to experience.

As far as calling parents: You will be the one cursed out. They will never believe their little darling could pilfer anything.
Holiday in Handcuffs! Bring on the shirtless
LOL
because I still have a right to bring up a valid point of stupidity
I'm not going to ignore something so BLATANTLY disgusting, that's why I posted below.
I still am allowed to have an opinion and I'm certainly not going to keep my mouth shut when that needs to be said

Tell me the variety of reasons that tomorrow is about other than, politics and... RACE?
IMO, I can't bring myself to watch The Nativity Story knowing
that the girl playing Mary, at only 16 years old got knocked up by her 19 year old boyfriend.  What do you think?
Definitely agree! Dump the ape, bring back the gecko!!!
x
Bring a light, easy-to carry stool.
You will be surprised how long the walk is, and often the grass is damp, but you'll want to sit on it. I walk my dogs up to 3 miles, but it still seemed like a long walk on a warm day.

You'll want a wide-brimmed straw hat for the sun, too. Sunglasses of course and great, cushiony shoes you could stand in for hours. Most kids would not enjoy tagging along.

I enjoy watching golf on TV very much. It's the only sport DH and I both watch.
If you're attending each function, you bring a gift to each one. nm
b
Yummy!!! I will be right there. I will bring coffee and my own table service. nm
nm
I wish they'd kick Tatiana off and bring Rose back! NM
x
This question willl certainly bring up a lot of flaming, I abstain, thank you...nm
nm
Kids are great. They can bring tears of laughter and sadness
with a blink of the eye.  Glad he is okay!