Passive-aggressive people -
Posted By: HELP! on 2007-11-06
In Reply to:
Does anyone have to deal with passive-aggressive people in their lives, and how do you do it? Quick example of my sister:
Sister calls many times a day with histrionics asking for advice.
I give my advice, sister does the opposite.
Things do not work out.
Sister blames me for things not working out as I was not supportive enough.
That is my vicious circle that I deal with all the time and want to stop. Am thinking of "breaking up" with my sister, but that seems extreme. Any ideas?
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only IF the passive aggressive wants help.........
/
you *sound* like a passive-aggressive
@@
That's a lil too passive-aggressive in this case
Seems like the 2 of you have a great friendship and enjoy one another's company. I'm more inclined with Robin's advice. I'm so flipping busy. Between working 10-14 hours a day, spending time with my husband, trying to find 'me' time to relax and unwind, I'm a total slacker when it comes to returning calls or initiating get-togethers. I'm pretty decent about checking my email, but only because I spend so much time in front of the computer working anyway. I always kind of figure everyone I care about who cares about me know where I am and how to reach me. I realize this probably makes me a total social retard but I just seriously rarely think to pick up the phone and call someone.
I'd keep going with things as they are. Maybe when it's just the two of you having lunch or something, you can talk to her more about the situation and make sure you don't feel like you're intruding on her time or anything.
You don't have clue what passive-aggressive even means...
although I feel certain you should know what nutjob means. I should have known you can't talk to someone who uses words like "ur" and "u" rather than taking the time to use words. How old are you? 12? Cya. I am going where I can have conversations with adults or at least mature 12-year-olds.
Research passive-aggressive behavior. (sm)
Do you feel you are always at emotional crossroads and everything you decide to do together is handled like warring nations, not like loving partners?
Living with a passive-aggressive behavior spouse creates a daily emotional roller coaster. One is "stressed on an almost constant basis" and feel as if caring for an unresponsible teenager.
The passive-aggressive personality pretend not to listen, "forget on purpose," and purposefully do not complete tasks they agree to accomplish. Sullenness is also a characteristic of the behavior. The passsive-aggressive behavior can "rob" another one from a beautiful relationship. They cannot always see themselves and have a tendency to blame others (especially spouse) for their behavior. They sometimes display "revenge."
To rule out other serious medical conditions, encourage your husband to schedule an appointment with his primary care physician for "preventive care" only, letting him think nothing is wrong. The physician should order lab testing, and ask for thyroid function studies, etc.
Wishing you the best!!
I think what a passive/aggressive manipulative jerk!.
x
Passive-aggressives
As with good sound advice that gets no one in trouble, is to tell her she needs to empower herself. She and she alone is the director of her life, and must take responsibility for decisions she makes. Treating yourself well means weighing out options, considering the repercussions of your decisions, and taking RESPONSILBITY for your decisions. There's real power in that. No one is responsible but ourselves for our decisions, and their results.
she may have a passive personality, is all.
nm
What got into you? Why so aggressive? Watch your language...nm
nm
The passive aggression on here is mind boggling. nm
nm
it was allowed because its passive (unlike alcohol) and
nm
Well, my significant other and I went away today and I was driving. Now he is a very aggressive
driver and I am much more cautious so it did not go well. I just dont pass everything in site with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. What a pain to have a passenger like that in the car telling you this and that and I would have been way up there by nowetc. Not much fun. I dont like to drive by the seat of my pants.
Actually, was thinkin with aggressive scratching wood ones
x
Dear Owners of Aggressive Pit Bull:
I've already called animal control on you once and reported him for cornering, and then trying to bite me.
Well guess what. I bought mace. Not the wimpy dog-park spray, either. This is law-enforcement grade. It's the real deal.
The next time that sorry, un-neutered son-of-a-biotch comes anywhere near me, he's getting not just a warning squirt, he's getting the entire bottle in his face, maybe enough to close up his throat and kill him. I sure hope it does.
The Aggressive Black Shoe for Spring
The description tickled me! 
That's a good idea - something productively aggressive LOL - My stressor is (sm)
My "dad" is being sent home from the hospital to live with me. He has nowhere else to go. He is actually my stepdad. I think highly enough of him to help him out when he needs it, not let him live on the street or do without anything, but now it seems I am going to have to take care of im physically for several months while we are on a waiting list for an assisted living facility. He can barely walk and cannot tend to his lower hygiene needs. He and my mother were married from the time I was 3 until 8. He was very mean to us during that time. My mom divorced him, but he had adopted us and given us his last name. He got visitation rights once a month, and was very nice during that time, paid child support for a while but then in my teen years stopped paying it. Later I heard from him about once a year from the time I was about 21 to 39. He lived with my brother (his biological son) for a while when he was healthy. Now that he is ill they have shipped him three states up to me. I have two little children at home, a marriage that is on the rocks, and I work full-time. I also have some health problems of my own. Right now I am having extremely bad PMS and tomorrow morning I have to bring him home to my house. In addition, he curses all the time and is very loud and annoying, and I don't have a bedroom for him, so one of my kids is going to have to give up their room. Whew!! I feel better just spitting it all out!!
I guess Walter is pretty passive compared to your guy! Gets you going though, doesn't it? nm
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
People who go around calling other people "low class"
have their own issues in life. Ignore them. Nothing like a misplaced superiority complex to make a person feel good about themselves. Like they've never done anything gauche or made a faux pas. It must be nice for them to be so perfect and live in a glass house.
For that matter, you probably saved your piggy's life by popping that mondo zit! It could have gotten infected or something.... (yes, I have a zit popping fixation myself, but you were really descriptive on that pig zit. gag LOL)
Man, you would have appreciated the time one of my relative's popped a HUGE cyst on her face. I was standing right next to her at the time and leaned back because I knew it was going to blow. It did! Big time! All over the wall, mirror and light fixture. I'm still disgusted by the thought of it 10 years later. LOL In a revering kind of way...
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice.
x
If this helps...I know people who know people (sm)
who can make people disappear. 
Not really--I'd be lyin' if I said I never thought such things though! ;-)
IME, people don't feel sorry for fat people either
They actually have less sympathy than they do for people who have substance abuse, IME.
At any rate, I do feel sorry for Britney but the safety of her children should be everyone's first priority, then her safety. It would seem to me that all these hangers-on she has are jeopardizing that safety. It's all just very sad.
Some people just look at me
like I am crazy. You should see the looks I get when she rides on my shoulder in the car. Most people associate rats with dirty animals, etc. They are just like a hamster, only very smart animals. Plus they don't bite like hamsters or try and get away from you. They want to be around you. They are very loyal and love attention. She's my baby.
Unfortunately, she has a cyst growing under her arm now though. She is getting old, and I know her time is coming. :(
OMG! You people are bad, bad, bad!!! I'm going to
!
For me, over 25 people to buy for......
including mine and my husband's immediate families we see separately Christmas eve and Christmas day. We also visit grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc. a week later. We don't have kids yet so still spend a few hundred on each other. It is probably closer to 1500 combined for us.
What about NJ? People here act like
they're the best beaches in the world and I can assure you they are NOT. LBI is the cute nickname now given to Long Beach Island which is a dump as are most NJ beaches and everyone acts like it's the Hamptons or something. Been to NC outer banks and loved it. No comparison.
I think there need to be more people...
in the world like you! You are doing a wonderful thing and are a shining example to your children!
Pet (Dog in particular) people -
I have a Lab/Pit mix, probably 8 or 9 years old, who has a terrible problem with itching and scratching all over. I am hoping someone on this site has a solution for us.
I will tell you what we have tried that has not worked.
Benadryl has not worked. Seemed to help initially but stopped it and she shows no change.
Changing her food has not worked. Have tried all kinds of food, wheat free, have not helped.
Adding oil to her food, 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil twice a day, has not helped. Seemed to help initially but she went back to scratching.
Getting her groomed with dry skin shampoo/conditioner has not helped.
What DID help was steroid injection and prednisone pills on a tapering dose. But once the dose was tapered down, she started scratching some. I dont want her on steroids indefinitely. PLUS, the steroids made her very very aggressive and being part pitbull, that was not a good thing.
When it gets to the point that she and I are both waking up multiple times during the night, I have to go back to steroids. Before I do that, I wonder if anyone reading this has another remedy we could try before going to steroid route.
We also have a cat and I am beginning to think she may be allergic to the cat. Do you think this is possible? My vet technician told me it is possible but it would involve costly allergy testing and injections if it proves positive. Would like opinions from others before I take her for allergy testing.
Any info anyone could provide would sure be appreciated, not only by me but by my best friend who is suffering with this.
Thank you!
um, a lot of people don't go to the, uh, gym.
nm
I know 5 people who have had this...sm
1 has kept the weight they lost off.
2 had major complications after the surgery and 1 almost died - he was healthy before surgery.
4 lost weight but have regained most if not all of it. You can restretch the stomach back out by eating too much.
I like those too - I know a lot of people don't :-)
x
Yes, but LL should have people to look out for her
be watched 24/7, but LL could be and should be. She should be protected and anyone with any interest in this girl, either for financial or other, such as her mother, should be helping her better than this.
IMO there is no excuse for this. Maybe I am being harsh, but give me a break already with these celebs.
Just like with people
Recovering from surgery (procedures done with anesthesia) when they're older is harder for them, and you have to be super careful that they don't have any conditions that could be worsened by the medications. Please try everything you can before getting them declawed. I'm lucky, my cats love their scratch posts, but they also love picking at the carpet. I just buy rugs and stick them all over the place!
Those people should have given you (sm)
thank you notes BUT, when you give you have to give with a free and willing heart and not expect anything in return - even a thank you - because you will only get bitter waiting. Only give when you really want to and feel the need to and you will feel better about it I think.
re: people
Just me,
The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?"
It is our sin nature to commit sin and we're all born with it. I don't know what the percentage of sexual sin is, but I do know that it is getting more and more prevalent and has been around since bible days because we are all born sinners and we all need Jesus to save us. That doesn't mean that after we accept Jesus we stop sinning, but are more likely to be faithful when we know the Lord.
God bless!
Jan
Pod people.
It's the only explanation. How can you not talk to people in an environment like that?!
This really is about the right age when most people do this (sm)
I was 18 and that was 20 years ago. You cannot make her not do it. I would strongly focus right now on teaching her all the possible STDs - I mean seriously teaching her - because I got herpes from oral sex when I was 21 and did not even know you could get it that way. Just sit down with her and say, "well you have decided to do this and I don't agree with it, BUT since you are, let's look up every possible bad thing that can happen" and make sure she is extremely well informed. Even find scary pictures of HPV and look up hep B and hep C and herpes and every STD you can think of. At least then she probably will not be promiscuous and will be choosy and careful about who she is with.
and once again, people come in here and can....n/m
Why do people have to
make reference to a person other than "did that nice woman smile at you?"??? If she had been obese instead, would they have said..."Did that fat lady smile at you?" Just annoys me how insensitive people can be and how they can be quick to label a person without even knowing anything about them.
I would have been offended myself in this situation. HOW RUDE!
i know this will ^&*()$% people off
I personally would never have an abortion, but think of all the people who were aborted instead of being born. Maybe there is another reason that they were aborted and that society is better off as a whole because of it.
Yep. People just don't think - nm
nm
I know some people that took their son's
room away. He was about 13 and they had only been living in their new house a few months. His bedroom was in the basement with the rest of the family on the second floor. He loved his room soooo much. This was not really a bad kid, just wouldn't do homework, chores, picked on his sister, really just immature. They made him move into his little brother's room. His LB was 4 so he obviously loved having big bro for a roommate. Straightened him out rather quickly.
IMO, most people won't say anything
so i would suggest you definitely keep your eyes and ears open. chances are, being it was brought to your attention, there may be something to it.
Depending upon the gravity of it all, you may want to do some snooping, and/or check financial records and such. Whatever you do, 'protect yourself at all times',ie, cover your bases. Trust is so important with a spouse, but not a blind trust.
Depending upon other factors, you may or may not confront your spouse, but likely not. There, you lose the element of surprise, and if something is up, the coverup will be more elaborate and harder to penetrate.
two people
if at all possible, but I don't have any help and rarely do I need to bathe them, only time has been when they had a brief flea outbreak. But if you have no help, just hold by the ruff of the back of the neck and since mine are adults, I let there back feet touch the ground so as not to hold them there by their full weight and do the best I can with washing them with one hand. I do it in the bathtub with a sprayer I have attached to my shower head.
For people our age I think
hair should not as long as Meredith's, just turned to see her because I really do not want her show that often. No matter how nice the color, the shine, etc. I think keeping any longer only ages a person. I try to keep mine ear length, any longer only bothers me.
I think too many people....
automatically think spanking is abuse because they have become brainwashed by society, government, etc. Adults CAN draw the line and I don't think there are too many that "beat" their kids. I was also spanked as a child, never beat, and raised my kids spanking them ONLY if needed. I NEVER smacked them across the face as that is humuliating to the child and my point was never to humuliate my kids but to instill what is accepted and not accepted.
My sister-in-law raised her kids on timeout and the never ending "talks". Five minutes later they were doing the exact same thing they were timed out for. Her kids are now teenagers. They are smart mouthed, have no respect for people, she is unable to control them which in turn she lets them do what they want, bribes them to "behave", etc. They come from a loving, good home but I see nothing but trouble in the future for them as they have no boundries of what and what is not accepted.
My kids were raised getting a spank or two on the behind with a firm no (never a beating or screaming at them). They have turned into respectful, caring, responsible adults with no side affects from the spanking. I ask them to do something and they do it without back talk. They call their elders Mr or Mrs. They turned out to be well adjusted, happy kids with many friends as it was instilled into them to respect people as they would like to be respected.
Unfortunately, society and the government, etc., has gotten involved with raising OUR kids. They need to step back and worry about their own kids. I for one do not worry when my kids are out at night, they are not driving and drinking, they are not stealing, not doing drugs, etc. They are not perfect and can be a pain in the a** at times, but I know I raised them right and I raised them as I see fit - not how society would want me to raise them.
I do not spank them anymore as there is no need to. That stopped at 8 or 9 years old - they knew what was right and wrong by that time. If they do something I do not like, I now talk with them. There are times that does not work and then I take away privileges such as driving, etc.
Too many people confuse beating and spanking - spanking is not beating!!
People have to eat, so it
is easy to get addicted to food. Smoking, on the other hand, is a ridiculous act of a person who wanted to rebel when they were young and got caught by addiction.
people don't get it...
The reason he probably has the bible on his desk it to have an "open" door for someone. Think about it. If someone is reading a book on say, giraffes, and your curious about giraffes, maybe after awhile you'll say "hey, can you tell me about giraffes?"
I understand now adays there are a lot of "pushy" Christians, and there are also people who are Sunday Christians, and there are Christians who don't practice what they preach. But there are also good, honest, caring Christians who really do want to help you find Jesus and save your soul from he-ll. yes, he-ll. It's real btw.
I'm not trying to start an arguement, but don't condemn this man that you have never met of "trying to make a statement" or "being a pushy Christian." Maybe that bible is on his desk so that one day a co-worker, student, friend, etc will say "what's that thing all about anyways?"
The worst thing this country ever did was take Christianity out of schools. Obviously when we have third graders plotting to kill teachers, we have done something very, very wrong.
Have you ever met one of those people...
who just drive you crazy? You know the type where anything that comes out of their mouth is negative, nothing is ever new and they have something bad to say about EVERYTHING? Had to deal with one this weekend and just wanted to scream!
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