Pardon the bluntness, but you need to get out...

Posted By: phillygal on 2008-12-17
In Reply to: Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon

for the sake of your child, if not yourself. Quit analyzing whether or not you are in an abusive relationship; the mere fact that you have to ask the question already tells you it is. Find a lawyer, get a restraining order, make HIM leave and move on with your life. Better to live hand to mouth than put up with the kind of BS you are now. And yes, I have BTDT, so don't bother bashing me.

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Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon
- I don't why people don't talk about this... - sm
- he sounds immature, and nuts. - quietly take kid and leave. nm
- Men that hit do not change... - phillygal
- Perhaps I'm playing devil's advocate or maybe I need a - Reality Check
  - In her defense, it sounds like people she knows haven't been of any help. sm - Confetti
- I'm wondering if you've tried - sm
- My take... - allkeyedup
- For the sake of your son and your - Been there
- I'm sorry but this is a - nobrainer...sm
  - What's funny is that for a long time I did not realize it was all abuse (sm) - anon
    - You know, I can believe that... - good men/bad men...sm
- I am NOT even going to ask sm - MT 35 years
- leave - ky/mt
- Just a shot in the dark here, but - truffle
- Please be careful - mommyof3littlegremlins
- National Domestic Violence Website and phone #... - clemmie
- Thanks to everyone who replied. I am sorry to know that (sm) - anon
  - Have you questioned the no sex rule? - ...
    - sorry, you got me on a roll (sm) - anon
      - no but i also don't stay married to someone who treats me like dirt - ...
        I understand that, but when you deal with a person like this (sm) - anon
        how are you protecting your sm - wondering
        Because he is trying to get 50% custody (sm) - anon
        did it cross your mind that if sm - wondering
        Yes it has all crossed my mind. Have you been in this situation before? (sm) - anon
        been there, walked out and sm - wondering
        If that true, you've got some real aftermath issues - sm
        Interesting - you insult me but you are not going to answer me? (sm) - anon
        it just gets better and better, I sm - wondering
        Not trying to reconcile. Trying to get witnesses (sm) - anon
        church is a coverup for sm - wondering
        This reminds me of.... - sm
        FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE - GIVE HER A BREAK - SM - Solamente
        for the love of Mike Rowe? - yes
        because she has been sm - wondering
        You are still full of rage. - sm
        keep analyzing and she will sm - wondering
        Yes. I did the same. The only thing different - sm
        if this woman keeps subjecting sm - wondering
        I know it sounds dumb, but this is the truth (sm) - anon
        You don't sound dumb at all, only like - sm
        He hasn't hit my child in 8 years, because (sm) - anon
        No way this person has had direct experience. - sm
        that's where you are wrong. Read sm - wondering
        Since when have belittling and scare tactics - sm
        I know someone who went the route you are saying (sm) - anon
        Good grief, they deserve a safe sm - wondering
    - Even if I was to try to overcome my lack of desire for him (sm) - anon
      - No offense, but this is a no-brainer - Captain Anesthesia
    - Not sure what you mean? (sm) - anon
      - Oh sweetie, I just have tears in my eyes for you - sm - Solamente
        Yes, leave and move to another state if possible, at least don't stay in the same town - suprmommy3
      - next time you wake up, tell him you stuck - ...
- it's abuse duh - nm
  - How rude ! - Anoni mouse
    - why not just ignore my post and be on yours - nm
      - May I introduce you to my husband? I think you would get along (sm) - anon
        why fly back at someone sm - wondering
        maybe it was 1958 when the cop told her this? - just a thought
        very funny! 50 years ago sm - wondering
        ...umm...no...i wasn't alive in 1958 - just a thought
        yeah well I was three years old sm - wondering
        it was about 3 years ago and if I can turn him in I want to (sm) - anon
        now you are making sense! sm - wondering
        no thank you, i don't want him - nm
        He probably wouldn't want you either. - nm
        this saddens me - to think that some jerks wouldn't want me - well boo hoo - i have higher standards
        Don't kid yourself. If you had any class at all, - sm
        maybe i have no class - sm
        No you wouldn't. But some women would. The PTA president last night (sm) - anon
        then you should definitely let the PTA woman have him - sm
        Maybe not, but you sure deserve him. - Birds of a feather
- Let me clearly state that this is abuse on many levels. - sm
  - Thanks for your encouragement (sm) - anon
- what is - normal
  - TO: What is...normal - westcoastMT
  - What is YOUR problem? - MQQA
    - prayers and doers - normal
      - If receiving anonymous help, prayers, - sm
        this does not make any sense to me - normal
        Don't think this is consensus seeking. - sm
        Thank you so much! It really, really helps to know someone gets it (sm) - anon
  - And I have not asked you to be on my side (sm) - anon
  - I am not painting anything. Apparently you have no life experience (sm) - anon
- Pardon the bluntness, but you need to get out... - phillygal
  - I agree she needs to get out but disagree with your reasoning - sm - Solamente
    - I am afraid it would just infuriate him (sm) - anon
    - Restraining orders also depend on - phillygal
- You need to get your son into s/m - MI-MT
- husband - MT
  - A few things . . . what state do you live in? - OldMT

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Oh, pardon me! I thought she also asked
what parks people went to and things like that. She said on a budget but still wanted to make it count as might be the only time for her family. I did not know we were limited in what we were able to say, especially if someone asked that particular thing.

Pardon me fo answering her email
but what is odd is your obsession with this. Get over it and get on to something you consider valuable. You must be reading our posts and no one else's. We have been supported by many people who have called you on your comments. Read all of em, kid.

Pardon the typo above. Should be TALKING... nm
:)

Pardon me everyone - too many posts too confusing
Have yourselves a good day. Grow up? There are so many posts its all getting confusing and it looks like someone was criticizing the orinal poster. My apologies to you.

I wish you all the best Done. I know you will do what you feel is right. Whether it is staying or leaving. I'm not a professional counselor so I should not be telling you what to do. Only gave you advise based on my situation and opinions. I do wish you the best. Just remember you are a wonderful person to many who love you (family and friends). Never let anyone put you down. I truly hope you find happiness in whatever you decide to do.

'likely' and 'contract'. Pardon the typos.
x