Paddling vs ISS
Posted By: tired fingers on 2007-12-07
In Reply to: I would choose the ISS because the paddling is ineffective. - sm
I would pick the in school suspension to get the tardy message across. My son, who is 11 has ADHD and for him to lose recess is the biggest thing that could happen to him for punishment. Perhaps the same principle will work with your daughter. JMO.
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Paddling
I most definitely would not sign a permission slip to let somebody hit my child. I don't hit my child and obviously from what you wrote, it is not a very effective punishment. I bet the school could come up with some real killer punishments, like having the kids do clean up around the school grounds or bathrooms! Now that would shut up my little chatty-cathy. Speaking of whom, she told me today she would rather be in school than not be in school, she loves it there, but unfortunately she has no inclination to get a job, I guess she'll be one of those people who go to school as a career!
Paddling
Both of my children, a son (age 32) and a daughter (age 26) went to a Christian academy their whole school career. My daughter going on to a Christian college. They were both paddled in school. I knew this ahead of time when I signed the papers for them to go to school. They were given demerits for things such as lying and cheating, disrespect of a teacher or anyone in authority. They were given a chance to work off demerits (going a week without any, cleaning). When 10 demerits were accrued the principal gave them 3 swats, not a beating. Both of my children are well-rounded and respectful adults. My son owns his own business, is married and has a daughter (who, yes gets a spanking now and then). My daughter is a Christian school teacher. I can count on one hand how many times my children were paddled in school. It deterred them greatly from being rebels. We also spanked them at home when need be. They have both told my husband and myself how grateful they are that they were reared with boundaries. If the administration of the paddling is done without anger, I see nothing wrong with it myself.
On paddling
As a former teacher who had one student paddled by the principal (I had to witness, but only the principal was allowed to paddle), I have to say I would NEVER do it again. It was just dehumanizing to have to stand there and watch the kid get hit. He wasn't being hurt and it was done in the office with just the principal and myself - no public humiliations. But, it was an awful feeling and I promised myself never again. I'm from the generation that was coporally punished, but I don't think it's a good idea. A swat on the bottom for a young children is okay, but paddling....
Your child's friend is correct - it stings. If done correctly, the child is asked to bend over from a standing position and place his hands on his knees. This leaves the buttocks available as an easy target and prevents the child from contracting the buttocks, which takes the sting out. It does not leave bruises if it is done with a thick wooden paddle and usually about 5 swats is it.
I'm sorry to hear this, but as you say, she knew there would be consequences to infractions. Tell her to wear her heaviest jeans and an extra pair of undies.
SIGN THE NO PADDLING....
figures, it would be Texas paddling the children......no offense to our posters from Texas......I just somehow knew upon reading further down the page that it was going to be TEXAS paddling children still in the 21st Century. Give me a break......
Nobody can whack my kid, except me....*lol*
I would choose the ISS because the paddling is ineffective.
If all the kids are choosing swatting, obviously, they see it as the lesser punishment. Your daughter is very concerned about school, and you described her as a type A personality. So now here's the opportunity to teach her to put things in perspective.
I think ISS is a more appropriate punishment. She was wasting class time by being late to class. I think 5 tardies is substantial. By age 14, she should be able to get herself to class on time and start building up some self-control when it comes to the chit-chat. So, since she wasted time, she should have to pay time back. That comes at the expense of the class she is so concerned about. A lower grade may indeed be the lesser consequence, but is she going to fail out of school and never get into college and end up homeless on the street because of the lower grade in one class at age 14? No. Certainly not!
As a parent, you need to look at things long-term, because kids can't. You also need to steel yourself for the major melt down she will probably have if you don't permit the swatting. This, I think, is the hardest part of the entire learning experience for most moms. Some moms fall all to pieces in these situations. And don't flame me, but from what I've observed, it seems to happen more with mothers and daughters, especially if there's an element of "everyone-else-is-doing-it".
So look down life's road for your daughter, get your nerve together, and tell her the ISS is the better choice. When she falls to pieces, don't play into it. In the end, it will be worth it. The ISS will be the deterrent that will work for your type A daughter in the future. The paddle can never have that sort of influence over her.
Paddling v in school suspension
I would never sign a paddling allowed slip. If I were not there, what would the person doing the paddling be like? Your daughter says everyone else is because it does not hurt. What if they change the person and it is way too much? Besides, to me 14 years old is too old for a spanking. Taking away school time in the inschool suspension is better I believe. I remember how everyone hated detention in my days, and had to sit there with the troublemakers, and do extra work. It was really embarrassing! I say do what your heart tells you, not what your daughter tells you. You are the parent! If your heart says there is reasonable doubt there is something wrong with paddling go with that IMO. My best to you! 
a single paddling at school is different
from a parent keeping a paddle at home during the summer. I'm wondering why you need to go on and on about this.
My past is my past. I believe each parent has the right to raise their children in a manner that suites each family. My hope is that physical punishment is limited, but there are other methods of physical punishment other than paddling which can do worse harm to a child. Even verbal abuse can be worse.
Thank you for your sympathy for the decisions my parents made, but those things are in the past. BTW, I don't let people get close before of emotional manipulations by people in my adult life and not having learned how to stand up for myself when I was a child. Now I have learned those leasons and just use more caution about whom I take into my confidence. I'm not as screwed up as I feel you are trying to intimate :)
I would sign the "no paddling" slip (sm)
I don't punish my children by spanking and they are generally very good kids and do what they are supposed to do. When they do slip up and do something wrong, there are plenty of punishments that don't include hitting them. In general, the children I see whose parents spank them are less well behaved than those who are not spanked. I know someone who punishes her children harshly in my opinion - and they are very good as long as she is around or if they think she can find out what they have done wrong - but if they see a chance to be bad they jump at it. I do think it is an archaic type of punishment and has no place in the world. I say let her do ISS and maybe think of a punishment at home if it keeps happening, like grounding her from a privelege she enjoys or something like that. No hitting!
I agree, paddling is barbaric and, according to your daughter, is ineffective
Even she would rather have it than ISS, thusly restriction of freedom is a greater punishment than pain. I am with you, I don't know why this is still in effect. I also live in the south and have to write a letter every year stating my child is not allowed to be paddled. Believe me he would MUCH rather be paddled than have the Xbox Live and TV taken away from him!!!
Paddling is child abuse. Even Florida doesn't allow it.
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