Paddling is child abuse. Even Florida doesn't allow it.
Posted By: Sorry about your problem. on 2007-12-07
In Reply to: What would you do? School trouble. - concerned mama MT
xx
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Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
Child abuse
That's your opinion - and pedofilia - obviously you did not BF or have a good bond with your children. Do you also consider it child abuse that I did not use disposable diapers? What about the fact that I worked as a wet nurse? Some things are just natural - You should read the book, The Family Bed - BF may be looked upon differently in the US - but that is only cultural - and I do not bend to cultural issues - I did as I pleased - and no one else cared or ever even discouraged me from BF my son as long as I did. Unless you've been there - you do not understand - sorry for you.
Child abuse, hardly
My child was circumcised years ago, did fine. Years later my 2 male grandchildren were not circumcised and as they were aging were running into lots of trouble, could not retract the foreskin because as they grew, so did the foreskin, could not keep the penis clean and finally at an older age (when more painful for them) had to get circumcised. Well known fact, smegma collects there and causes infection and could lead to worst things than just infection, has been linked to penile cancer.
no, not child abuse. what will they think of next? SM
How about - combing the tangles out of your daughter's hair (ouch)?
or ripping off a band aide?
or making them eat their vegies?
It's only child abuse if you hit them hard enough
check with your CPS. There is a BIG difference between spanking and beating.
I really feel that what she is doing is child abuse.
nm
Do you think that piercing a child's ears is abuse?
nm
Really think court case, child abuse charges
when another mother breastfed her child past a so called normal age. The poster says do not worry about what others think and the kids did not have to wear braces, but what about emotional issues that might come to pass with a 6 year old still on the boob? Most in this country, I am sure, would agree with these posts that you overstepped bounds in a mother-child relationship when this happened. Some things just should not happen.
i care about child abuse, welfare fraud, and
dumping of young males to the streets, so they lessen the competition for the multi-wife thing. This is all well-documented. This is not about just polygamy -- which is also against the law, but its the abuse of children and abuse of our welfare system -- all under the banner of religion. If it was just about men taking multiple ADULT wives, the government would not likely have stepped in to even enforce that law.
Do you think infant male circumcision is child abuse?
Would you say that its child abuse?? Never thought of it that way before. Came across this article that discusses this question, interesting read. See link below.
It is NOT the teachers place to tell a child that Santa doesn't
yeah I just might sue as well!
True - my child doesn't even want to wear tank tops (sm)
she doesn't like to show that much of her upper arms. And the majority of kids I know are not that bad at all. It depends on their parents and how they are raised and what they are exposed to really.
Paddling
I most definitely would not sign a permission slip to let somebody hit my child. I don't hit my child and obviously from what you wrote, it is not a very effective punishment. I bet the school could come up with some real killer punishments, like having the kids do clean up around the school grounds or bathrooms! Now that would shut up my little chatty-cathy. Speaking of whom, she told me today she would rather be in school than not be in school, she loves it there, but unfortunately she has no inclination to get a job, I guess she'll be one of those people who go to school as a career!
Paddling
Both of my children, a son (age 32) and a daughter (age 26) went to a Christian academy their whole school career. My daughter going on to a Christian college. They were both paddled in school. I knew this ahead of time when I signed the papers for them to go to school. They were given demerits for things such as lying and cheating, disrespect of a teacher or anyone in authority. They were given a chance to work off demerits (going a week without any, cleaning). When 10 demerits were accrued the principal gave them 3 swats, not a beating. Both of my children are well-rounded and respectful adults. My son owns his own business, is married and has a daughter (who, yes gets a spanking now and then). My daughter is a Christian school teacher. I can count on one hand how many times my children were paddled in school. It deterred them greatly from being rebels. We also spanked them at home when need be. They have both told my husband and myself how grateful they are that they were reared with boundaries. If the administration of the paddling is done without anger, I see nothing wrong with it myself.
Paddling vs ISS
I would pick the in school suspension to get the tardy message across. My son, who is 11 has ADHD and for him to lose recess is the biggest thing that could happen to him for punishment. Perhaps the same principle will work with your daughter. JMO.
On paddling
As a former teacher who had one student paddled by the principal (I had to witness, but only the principal was allowed to paddle), I have to say I would NEVER do it again. It was just dehumanizing to have to stand there and watch the kid get hit. He wasn't being hurt and it was done in the office with just the principal and myself - no public humiliations. But, it was an awful feeling and I promised myself never again. I'm from the generation that was coporally punished, but I don't think it's a good idea. A swat on the bottom for a young children is okay, but paddling....
Your child's friend is correct - it stings. If done correctly, the child is asked to bend over from a standing position and place his hands on his knees. This leaves the buttocks available as an easy target and prevents the child from contracting the buttocks, which takes the sting out. It does not leave bruises if it is done with a thick wooden paddle and usually about 5 swats is it.
I'm sorry to hear this, but as you say, she knew there would be consequences to infractions. Tell her to wear her heaviest jeans and an extra pair of undies.
SIGN THE NO PADDLING....
figures, it would be Texas paddling the children......no offense to our posters from Texas......I just somehow knew upon reading further down the page that it was going to be TEXAS paddling children still in the 21st Century. Give me a break......
Nobody can whack my kid, except me....*lol*
I would choose the ISS because the paddling is ineffective.
If all the kids are choosing swatting, obviously, they see it as the lesser punishment. Your daughter is very concerned about school, and you described her as a type A personality. So now here's the opportunity to teach her to put things in perspective.
I think ISS is a more appropriate punishment. She was wasting class time by being late to class. I think 5 tardies is substantial. By age 14, she should be able to get herself to class on time and start building up some self-control when it comes to the chit-chat. So, since she wasted time, she should have to pay time back. That comes at the expense of the class she is so concerned about. A lower grade may indeed be the lesser consequence, but is she going to fail out of school and never get into college and end up homeless on the street because of the lower grade in one class at age 14? No. Certainly not!
As a parent, you need to look at things long-term, because kids can't. You also need to steel yourself for the major melt down she will probably have if you don't permit the swatting. This, I think, is the hardest part of the entire learning experience for most moms. Some moms fall all to pieces in these situations. And don't flame me, but from what I've observed, it seems to happen more with mothers and daughters, especially if there's an element of "everyone-else-is-doing-it".
So look down life's road for your daughter, get your nerve together, and tell her the ISS is the better choice. When she falls to pieces, don't play into it. In the end, it will be worth it. The ISS will be the deterrent that will work for your type A daughter in the future. The paddle can never have that sort of influence over her.
Paddling v in school suspension
I would never sign a paddling allowed slip. If I were not there, what would the person doing the paddling be like? Your daughter says everyone else is because it does not hurt. What if they change the person and it is way too much? Besides, to me 14 years old is too old for a spanking. Taking away school time in the inschool suspension is better I believe. I remember how everyone hated detention in my days, and had to sit there with the troublemakers, and do extra work. It was really embarrassing! I say do what your heart tells you, not what your daughter tells you. You are the parent! If your heart says there is reasonable doubt there is something wrong with paddling go with that IMO. My best to you! 
a single paddling at school is different
from a parent keeping a paddle at home during the summer. I'm wondering why you need to go on and on about this.
My past is my past. I believe each parent has the right to raise their children in a manner that suites each family. My hope is that physical punishment is limited, but there are other methods of physical punishment other than paddling which can do worse harm to a child. Even verbal abuse can be worse.
Thank you for your sympathy for the decisions my parents made, but those things are in the past. BTW, I don't let people get close before of emotional manipulations by people in my adult life and not having learned how to stand up for myself when I was a child. Now I have learned those leasons and just use more caution about whom I take into my confidence. I'm not as screwed up as I feel you are trying to intimate :)
I would sign the "no paddling" slip (sm)
I don't punish my children by spanking and they are generally very good kids and do what they are supposed to do. When they do slip up and do something wrong, there are plenty of punishments that don't include hitting them. In general, the children I see whose parents spank them are less well behaved than those who are not spanked. I know someone who punishes her children harshly in my opinion - and they are very good as long as she is around or if they think she can find out what they have done wrong - but if they see a chance to be bad they jump at it. I do think it is an archaic type of punishment and has no place in the world. I say let her do ISS and maybe think of a punishment at home if it keeps happening, like grounding her from a privelege she enjoys or something like that. No hitting!
I agree, paddling is barbaric and, according to your daughter, is ineffective
Even she would rather have it than ISS, thusly restriction of freedom is a greater punishment than pain. I am with you, I don't know why this is still in effect. I also live in the south and have to write a letter every year stating my child is not allowed to be paddled. Believe me he would MUCH rather be paddled than have the Xbox Live and TV taken away from him!!!
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
x
she's probably in FLORIDA!!!
Yes, it is hot and I am in Florida
I feel the same way, very hot, do not feel like working.
Are you a Florida gal?
Tax free weekend here, too. I'm going shopping!
Hi From Florida
Hi All,
I live in South Florida and I am new to MT Stars. Anybody else from Florida?
At least in Florida
Arrest records are public record. I can go on my county's website and find out if someone has been arrested and what they've been arrested for.
Yep.Florida had one, wonder if we still have it..
When I moved here 14 years ago it was over 500 bucks per car. We did not know that, my husband was just out of law school. It was another way of saying, Yankee go home. I don't know if I dreamed it or not but I think this may have been changed. Not sure. People who still have it should have a redo of the Boston Tea Party only with car plates. LOL.
I'd say yes they really did abuse
the 'emergency' but rather than contacting an attorney I would just try to recall where you might have given her contact information - call them and change ASAP and I would not even fill in that spot in the future citing your experience in these two situations and the problems it caused and if they fuss - give them a phoney name and addy and let it go. I think it is there for your safety really, secondly for them to collect should you not pay a bill - I have only been called once in my 55 years as my son got behind on his credit union car payment and they traced me down through 3 counties - so think you definitely had an unusual experience.
Abuse
Call your local shelter and they will advise you on ways to leave safely. NEVER take abuse - physically, verbally, or mentally from anyone. Forget the church kid, learn to love yourself, and lead by example for your children. If you act like a doormat, do not be suprised when you get stepped on!
You need a long time on your own before you are ready to think about entering another relationship. You are not out of your present relationship yet, but you can be if that is your decision. Best wishes to you.
Lilly
I think it is abuse.
Take the poor doggy into your house. Your cat may hide, but my guess is the dog will ignore the cat. I got my Sheltie when I had 2 cats and they all got along just fine. Please don't leave this poor thing outside, especially if it hot in your area. If you cannot bring it in, call the authorities. It is kinder than leaving her out to suffer.
It is ABUSE!
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This IS animal abuse. Thankfully, in most states animal cruelty is becoming a felony. In my state (NY) it can be punishable up to $5000. Animal abandonment is also a felony with one year in jail and up to $1000 fine. Failure to provide proper nutrients is another law that seems to have been broken.
Our animals needs protection from the elements, proper food and water (and not just a bowl to catch rain water,either) They also need love and companionship, and by this I mean not regulated to the backyard to vegetate.
Animals can think....how do explain service dogs, search and rescue, and guide dogs? Have you ever seen a dog given a task to do and watch him/her go through the paces to get it done?
As I stated before, contact an area dog club to see if they have members willing to help, or if they know of a Sheltie rescue who can help. Contact your area vets for such phone numbers. Or, you can contact me and I'll see if I can locate a Sheltie rescue that can help.
Abuse
Your post makes me very sad. Your husband is abusive. Husbands and boyfriends come and go in our lives; however, family is ALWAYS family. Please seek counseling for yourself. You cannot change him. After you become stronger through counseling, you will see the situation clearly for what it is - abusive.
Call your sister and invite her for a visit. Better yet, get a plane ticket and go see her. Don't ask, just do it.
Best wishes.
Lilly
Abuse
Every county has a program for abused woman and children. You do not have to be physically abused for them to help you. Find out the name of the program near you, Domestic violence, Reach, etc. You can call them and they will allow you to take your children and live in a house, the whereabouts is not known to anyone on the outside. It is free and they are very caring. You can start there and they will help see that you and your children are safe away from this maniac. Good luck.
There's always abuse
of the system. Making it illegal doesn't stop that. There are a lot of drugs out there that are, in my opinion, worse than marijuana as far as addictive qualities and doctor's prescribe those drugs routinely and easily for things such as back pain which is not life threatening but can be debilitating. I think it would be much easier to hold standards to legal medical use marijuana than it would to criminalize alcohol and the numerous other prescription drugs that are out there and abused.
it's abuse duh
x
in Florida also....no problems with
I have heard of HARTZ causing many problems in animals but not Frontline or Advantage. You could probably Google this issue to see what they are saying *out there* about these products but personally, myself, and my daughter (who has 3 dogs and 2 cats) have had no problems with these 2 products. Best of luck to you!
Jacksonville, Florida...
Always something to do and the weather was beautiful...
Florida vacation
There are several things to consider when planning your vacation to the theme parks: If you stay in Kissimmee you'll have to drive to the parks. There has been a lot of road construction on southwest side or Orlando. I don't know if it's completed or not. The hotels associated with the parks have a lot of extras for the kids so you can relax while they watch movies in the pool, ect. The rooms are often suites with murals and fun beds for the kids. There are some that are close to the parks, with shuttles, that might be a bit more affordable than the big ones on the parks. While you certainly have to go to the Magic Kingdom, especially for the younger kids, if you love the big rides Universal's Islands of Adventure is a must too. Our kids are into the bigger thrill rides so they prefer Universal. There's also a nice area for the younger kids at Islands of Adventure that has a Dr Suess theme. October will still be hot down here, but if you want to take a day trip over to the beach it's best to come before December. December temperatures are typically fall-like, but it can get down into the 40s on occasion.
hi there - I'm in south florida....sm
and due to the multi-multi ethnic groups here - MULTITUDES of different groups - we have it all in the supermarkets....
You never had chopped liver? Never eaten chicken livers and onions together just fried up? Never had chicken livers wrapped in bacon and then cooked? Ramaki's I think they are called (can't remember)....
The Argentinians I just read eat twice as much beef as Americans....not a good thing...*lol*
Hmm, what does Florida not allowing have to do with ?
Does Florida allow more things then say the rest of the states or something? Please explain.
The Florida Keys, they are everywhere!
x
west florida
3.41 a gallon.
Florida Native
Hey!
My dad used to take me to a campground that was right on the beach. Of course as I go to write this the name of the place has slipped my mind, I'll have to find out and get back to you. But it wasn't that expensive at all (definitely cheaper than a hotel room or condo) and it was so much fun! There is a park right there and a dock to go fishing on and at night you can catch ghost crabs on the shore!
Hope this is helpful! When I find the name of the place I'll let you know!
I'm in Florida and spend about $175/wk for 5 sm
I'm in Florida, and it is me, my husband, our 2 kids (son 7 and daughter 11), and my father-in-law, and I swear my FIL, who is 5Ǝ" and 158 lbs, eats more than my husband, who is 6Ɖ" and 345 lbs. FIL had to have a feeding tube put in last July, and I had to cut down meals by half because we were having so many leftovers and wasting money. Just when I thought I had it figured out, he was able to get the tube removed, so I'm back to making meals for an army. I just wish I had his metabolism as he just does not seem to gain weight and even had to go on high-calorie Ensure when he had the feeding tube to gain weight. I shudder to think of what my grocery bill will be when my son hits puberty  I don't buy stuff for lunches here at home as we (FIL and I) will just eat a sandwich or leftovers from the fridge
As far as special foods, we don't really buy anything out of the ordinary. I buy frozen vegetables instead of canned unless it is for a recipe, and for a while we were buying meat at a butcher shop but have had to cut that out for now. It was really good but was close to DH's work, and if he couldn't pick it up while he was in the area, it was a 45-minute drive. I cook most things from scratch, except lasagna because I hate making it. Once a month, we have a luncheon at church that I bring a dish and a dessert, and I cook Wednesday night dinner there one night per month, but I get reimbursed for the Wednesday night dinner. I do include paper products and toiletries in with my grocery budget but that's it, and I usually go to Sam's once a month for those.
I have it easy compared to my parents though. My dad got paid once a month, and there were 4 kids at home all the time, 5 when my sister came up during the summer. They used to have 3 grocery carts slap full of food, and my mom figured out that it took something like 18 boxes of cereal to last a month, each one with a date marked on it so we didn't go through them too quickly. And to keep my brother from using a mixing bowl and a serving spoon to eat cereal We also had a freezer to keep extra bread and other things, and my mom also used to mix in powdered milk when the gallon was half-way gone. I never knew until I was grown, so she definitely blended it well.
It is not abuse, but it is neglect
If you cannot take the dog in, I would definitely call the authorities. It is completely unfair and wrong for the dog to be left alone outside for that long with no shelter and no place to go. Who knows, maybe your cat and they dog will get along. I have 3 cats and a 128-pound German shepherd, and they call get along just fine together! But, if you cannot do this, just call the authorities for help/advice. I'm sure the dog would want you to do this so that it can get out of this situation!
Abuse causing this?
I had a son (I hear boys are worse than girls) who wet the bed until probably early teens. My aunt was a nurse, said NOT to belittle, get after, etc., etc. He definitely was NOT abused. Think children just do sometimes. I was told he would grow out of it and he did.
Sibling abuse
I picked up my 6-YO grandson today to bring him to my house for the weekend. When I got there I could tell he'd been crying and had a puffy bottom lip. He showed me where he had a missing tooth and said his 8 1/2-YO half brother (not my grandson) knocked it out. His mom sits on the couch and says nothing to dispute it, so I'm sure it's true. This brother is also his babysitter after school until mom and step-dad get home.
Not too long ago DHS was involved and step-dad was charged with abusing my grandson. Of course they always try counseling first before thinking about removing a child from the home.
I constantly worry about the environment he is in as I've seen the way older brother treats him, but never anything quite like this. At what point is it considered sibling abuse as opposed to normal fighting that brothers might do. Is this something I should report to DHS?
p.s. His mom is just beginning to speak to me again. She blames me for the last DHS thing even though I wasn't the one who reported it (only because I didn't know about it). Once I heard about it, I did go make a report about neglect that I'd observed. Then they were conveniently busy for the next 5 weekends so I couldn't see my grandson. It's a long story, but there is nothing in writing about visitation. I have pretty much had visitation with him every other weekend for the last six years.
What to do.
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