P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
Posted By: () on 2009-06-03
In Reply to: If the situation is that bad, your ex-husband - ()
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
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My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it
Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives? Are you catching my drift? I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's? Just a thought. I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.
I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.
I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.
Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact. My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends. They did have kids together and no I was never jealous. He cheated, we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk. He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed. Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk. So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on. Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies. I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father.
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that. Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships." There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one. Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head? They both have positives and negatives, as we all do. I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret. I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead." Help!!!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can't force him to leave. At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn't want to leave the house. Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can't afford to get a place right now. She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn't know what to do. It is like she can't get rid of him. He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won't get out. She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
Of course they choose the most vulnerable--sm
women to prey on. If they chose a stronger woman, their controlling ways would not work. My ex did the same thing regarding the counselor. He went to two visits, said the counselor was a quack, and he would not go back. Anything that was ruined or destroyed during his anger fits were my things...never his.
as far as leaving...I had three kids to take care of, and survival was an issue for me too, but it can be done. Please do not just stick around because you fear not being able to take care of yourself and your kids. You are basically doing that now and you would have less stress to deal with. My kids were small too, two in school and one not. I HAD to do it, or I would be dead today. My ex husband never changed his ways...never. He took his own life when he could not control his last wife the way he controlled the others. I would never say this to my kids, as they were devastated when he took his own life, but between you, me, and the fencepost (Lord forgive me), I feel he was a coward. Rather than change his ways to make HIMSELF happy, he chose to end his *suffering*, with no regard to who he left behind to deal with their own suffering. It is hard. It is a big step to leave, but it gets better with time. Trust me on that. I make good money now and take care of ONLY me. My kids are grown and on their own, all with anger issues of their own, and I worry about that. But please, please, don't stay where you are just because you fear not being able to take care of yourself. God provides. Just ask. and that is the truth. good luck to you. If you wish to email me, you can. God Bless you and yours. May he give you strength and peace. You deserve nothing less.
We do have a choice. We can choose to keep our
undies on and not engage in sex or we can choose some form of birth control (albeit it fails from time to time). 
CHOOSE not to take it so personally
The key word here is "elderly" - remember she is the one with the ailment - and she's not THINKING this might hurt Kimmie's feelings. She's frustrated with the problem and the fact that what you got didnot work for her - and she's probably being considerate in paying you.
Have you considered that you may be looking for reasons to be offended?
You can CHOOSE to see this whatever way you want. If you feel real hurt was intended then you deal with that directly: Aunt ___ I felt a bit hurt by your response to ____.
COMMUNICATION is a great thing when we do it - and it always takes at least two.
Good luck! P.S. what was the stuff you got her? I might be able to use it!! :)
Whatever it is you choose to wear...
just make sure it compliments the bridal party's ensemble.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a solid color, but if you choose a dress with floral patterns, make sure it doesn't clash too much with the MOB or the rest of the bridal party.
Go here (but in case it does not show) Smarter.com and search mother of the groom dress. It will give you several online stores. At least you can get an idea of what you might want.
http://www.smarter.com/---se--qq-mother%2Bof%2Bthe%2Bgroom%2Bdress.html
HMR is better - and you can pick and choose
My mother got NutriSystem and most of the meals are unpalatable and I can eat about anything (some were okay). HMR is actually good. Difference is breakfast consists of shakes/cereal.
We have 9 to choose from, not including
xx
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important. So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage. Do something before it escalates. This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
I believe we are still free to choose our battles here.
Just because you are an all-or-nothing gal doesn't mean I have to be!
:)
I feel bad for you but did she choose DNR status?
My father died last year and he was a DNR and had a Living Will stating *no heroic measures* - at that point they oinly do *comfort care*.......
Very sorry for your experience!!!!! *gentle hug*
Choose the correct path
You are walking down a road and you encounter a fork in the road and you do not know the correct way to go. There are two men standing at the junction and both know the correct road. One man always lies, and the other man always tells the truth, but you do not know who is the liar and who is the one who tells the truth. You can only ask each man one question, but it must be the same question for both. What is the question that would allow you to get the information necessary to choose the correct path?
You are all so creative! I need help! I will choose the best answer sm
and so I hope you can help us!! My husband and I teach an adult Sunday School class married couples class. We need to come up with a catchy name to put in the bulletins, on-line, on the screen in the sanctuary to let others know about our class. We can't come up with anything! One couple suggested Married Rockstars! How hilarious is that? Of course, my husband and I don't look anything like rock stars. Couples of all ages and personality types come to the class. Can you think of anything?? It's been 2 weeks since we've been trying to come up with something! The ages range from 25-45 or so. Thank you so much!!!!!!!! 
If she wants to choose whether or not a baby results from sex
then she better choose to block that sperm from reaching the egg, because if it does, well then, a baby may very well result from sex. I mean, I understand when it's very, very early, but come on, abortion has really been taken way, way too far, to the point of murder of a full-fledged baby, and some people think, hey, that's okay, it's the mother's decision.
We all have a right to choose how we spend our time (sm)
If that makes you happy then fine. That would not make me happy. I am not "simpering" or helpless. Also not a slave.
I would choose the ISS because the paddling is ineffective.
If all the kids are choosing swatting, obviously, they see it as the lesser punishment. Your daughter is very concerned about school, and you described her as a type A personality. So now here's the opportunity to teach her to put things in perspective.
I think ISS is a more appropriate punishment. She was wasting class time by being late to class. I think 5 tardies is substantial. By age 14, she should be able to get herself to class on time and start building up some self-control when it comes to the chit-chat. So, since she wasted time, she should have to pay time back. That comes at the expense of the class she is so concerned about. A lower grade may indeed be the lesser consequence, but is she going to fail out of school and never get into college and end up homeless on the street because of the lower grade in one class at age 14? No. Certainly not!
As a parent, you need to look at things long-term, because kids can't. You also need to steel yourself for the major melt down she will probably have if you don't permit the swatting. This, I think, is the hardest part of the entire learning experience for most moms. Some moms fall all to pieces in these situations. And don't flame me, but from what I've observed, it seems to happen more with mothers and daughters, especially if there's an element of "everyone-else-is-doing-it".
So look down life's road for your daughter, get your nerve together, and tell her the ISS is the better choice. When she falls to pieces, don't play into it. In the end, it will be worth it. The ISS will be the deterrent that will work for your type A daughter in the future. The paddle can never have that sort of influence over her.
you can choose a realtor who uses/lists
with the MLS service. We've moved a lot and never would use a realtor who didn't.
We had luck too before listing in the LA Times or San Fran papers when we had a place in the country/mid USA..had a party fly out to see it, and paid cash. Appeal to what people are wanting, ie, escape the high crime, the crowded city, live surrounded by nature/georgeous trees...good luck!
Because I choose not too...I am not complaining, just said it would be easier.
nm
No, to date one can CHOOSE one's treatment.
nobody can force a treatment on you.
The mother has the son's trust, otherwise he would have stayed with the father.
Obviously the father wants to subject the son to this chemo, therefore mother & son ran away.
This boy is going through he** durin this chemo treatment and his mother looks for a less aggressive, accepteable one.
I hope they make it to Mexico...
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
Jon Bon Jovi or Richie Sambora, I don't know which I'd choose!
GORGEOUS!!!
You choose to stay in this situation. Until you make
x
I guess the difference is people should choose what they want to do (sm)
I do like yard sales but would also like to buy some new things that we need. I think my whole issue is that people should have a choice in what they do and how they do them. No one else should be forcing upon you the way you have to do things. The fact that you enjoy those things is wonderful. If someone was trying to force you to do them even if you didn't want to, that is not so wonderful. For example, I love to cook and I decorate beautiful cakes for all occasions for my family. If I did not enjoy doing those things and someone kept trying to force me to do them, that would be wrong. Do you see the difference?
Don't let him choose. If you do the cooking, you plan the menu!
At my house, my kitchen is not a restaurant. You eat what I make or you fend for yourself. Now of course I know my family's likes and dislikes and I do take requests, but if you're going to turn you nose up at everything I suggest without offering anything up, you get what you get!
maybe should choose a grounding option other than a wedding.
nm
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
People don't choose their face...plus she's kind of pretty! sm
Sometimes the shallowness of people overwhelms me. Why can't we just give credi where it is due and admit the woman has a great body, especially for her age, or just say nothing? Why do we need to insult her? I do have a very pretty face and I do need to lose weight but I don't feel a need to hurt anyone else to make myself feel better.
I am MY property. If I choose to use my assets for money, that is MY business!
//
Why not give him some rings to choose from and let him make the final decision?
Some guys want to say they picked it out. Makes them proud to say they did so. Ultimately, it is not really about the ring, the wedding, or any of that. It is about how you two will live your lives together. Congratulations!
Regardless of what medicated shampoo you choose, you must also rinse very well to eliminate any buil
no message
Oh, it's not a matter of wanting to pick and choose the data I "like" - if I want (sm)
to see that being done I need only drop down one forum in the list. ;-) Plenty of opportunities to fill that void there, if one chooses to.
No, I'm just not blindly accepting of whatever is proffered as valid data, and must -- as should we all -- consider the possible bias of those presenting same.
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
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