P.S. Before anyone calls me a bad mother or blames me for any of his issues, my other two children
Posted By: One In The Same on 2008-08-26
In Reply to: Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm - One In The Same
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Your mother had serious issues. Sounds
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Sounds like a couple of people have mother issues!
It's a mother's duty to protect her children
if at all possible and until she knows more about this woman she has no obligation to let her speak to her children - you have obviously never been in this situation. I understand what you are saying about way worse and horrible situations in the world but that is not this OP's problem - her problem here is the emotional wellbeing of her children and it is her call and IMO she made the correct one.
A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm)
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!
Mother of the new 8 babies, single and has 6 OTHER CHILDREN ALREADY
Talk about litters. She lives with her mother and father apparently. Be willing to say because she is a single mother with all that group she is on welfare. Your tax dollars at work here.
you are exactly the kind of mother children give a rat's ass about
when they are grown! Why should they help you when you are old and crippled, when YOU did NOT give them a helping hand when they needed it?
Maybe once you will remember what I wrote.
Stepdaughter calls me "SM" (stepmom), daugher calls me mom. nm
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A mother ring with my 3 children's birth stones:-)..nm
 - My husband is good to me!
Because men blames their wives, that's why. sm
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, many decades ago. I was always told by him that I was not pretty enough, not sophisticated enough, not "with-it" enough, just not good enough in any way. I bought into that for years until I could no longer stand it and left. The little sucker was actually a compulsive adulterer and cheated on his next wife too, a beautiful, much younger woman. So I know what I'm saying. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
Daughter is only 3 and she calls me
Me: Momma
Dad: Daddy.
When she gets older I think she will probably call me mom.
I know when I was younger something that would really irritate my mom is when I called her "mother'. 
Do NOT take any calls when you are at work.
x
Her BF is controlling? Yours calls and you hop in
x
There has to be a reason for all these calls
I would think if the payments made on time, paid when they are due- what would a company call that often for? Do you have privy to that account to check it? Do you see the statements? First of all, they have laws about the calls all day long-you can put a stop to that. I have credit cards, my husband has credit cards- we never ever get any calls to ask us to pay in advance. I think something else is going on here.
Does anyone else keep getting phone calls
from 877 numbers and 800 numbers but no identifying info, the phone will say unlisted number, and other times the phone will say 000-000-0000 as the telephone number, and other times it will say private name, private number, and when you pick up nobody is there.
I've been getting these calls 4 or 5 times a day. I let it go through to answering service and nothing. Surely after 3 months of this they would get tired and stop calling.
I really have to figure out how to have these numbers blocked but in the meantime it drives me buggy.
annoying calls
I get them also, especially with all 000, very annoying.
put it to you this way--know a guy in is 40s who still calls it his bobo. NM
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I use only for emergency and quick calls. Pay $100 for yr.
a
Nuisance 800 phone calls
Does anybody have ideas on how to stop unwanted phone calls? There is an 866 number that calls literally a dozen times a day, obviously computer generated as I pick it up and no one is there. It's incredibly annoying, not scary or anything. Nobody ever leaves a message, and it has me running to look at the caller-ID an extra twelve or so times a day, just to see that it's them again. Has anybody (or everybody) else had this problem, and how did you deal with it? Thanks!
Husband gets mad and calls me a *itch....
We have been married for 10 years. Lately when he gets mad I am reduced to being called a *itch. When we don't make love, it is because I don't want him. Does not matter what I might do, not cook for him, not turn on the heater this morning when I am supposed to be working.
I am an MT working at home. I have to work a schedule, which I fail to do, so I have to be more stern about what I can and cannot do because I want my job. Being called a *itch---what does that really mean. I do not view myself as a *itch but then no one does. I have read that it is a woman who is extremely disliked, spiteful, overbearing, and I am reduced to this name calling because it is something he wants to call me only because I did not do what he wanted and it made him mad.
He says that he is not in the mental state he should be regarding me working as at home as it is --just not working-- Yes, for years it seems I always work as I try to be with the family and as a result I get behind and have to work every spare moment I get and even then do not make my commitment. Okay, I do get fatigued, maybe depressed, but I love working at home and I know that I have to stick to my schedule. maybe 70% of that is my fault but a lot is from him as well wanting me to do things for him that he can do for himself. like wash his clothes for work, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.
Well the reason for all that is to ask.... does my husband really hate me so much to call me a *itch. What really does he mean? I am not overbearing. I let him do whatever he wants. He did not have to work for years. Now he finally gets a job and he is all high and mighty about me and what I do and don't do. He can improve on things just as much as I can. does that mean you have to yell, scream, rant, and rave because he don't get his way.
He says the way to a man's heart is his stomach. Yeah, I have heard all that but does that mean you have to take it so literal. If we don't make love, it is because I don't want him and then he throws a big hissy. I am a man. My testerone levels get too high! he start punching the wall! okay, maybe we don't have time, maybe I am trying to get caught up on work and trying to balance all things, cooking, cleaning, being with my 1 child and husband and work.
Yes, I am reduced to yelling right back at him. Everyday I think I am not going to yell, but I do anyway.
Sorry, any advice. I feel we havea shallow relationship now. He gets mad and then I am a *itch. I try to get along with him and watch our shows together, then, later I get yelled at because I made time to watch TV. We make love, I think we are getting closer, and something else sets him off. I realize we have deep issues we have to work out, but I also think getting mad making the other person miserable is not the answer.
What does he really mean when he says I am a *itch now. helpless....
Thanks! My husband calls it porridge and
my 7-year-old LOVES it!!!
My son's kindergarten teacher calls him
that all the time. How old is the child we are talking about and the sex of the child/teacher?
There's just not enough information to give an opinion.
I just use the answer machine to screen calls - sm
if its a recorded call, it doesn't record. If it's a sales call, they rarely leave a message, and if they do, I erase it. If I need to be available to family members, I tell them to identify themselves in the message, and I'll pick up.
I use the answering machine to screen calls too--sm
if it is something important and they begin to leave a message, I will answer, otherwise I won't. Most of the time, they will not leave a message.
The do not call list is helpful, but not for everything. If you really want to take the time, you can answer the phone and before they start their pitch, tell them nicely that you wish to be removed from their call list. They are supposed to remove you. If they call back after that, you can report them to the do not call list and they will be fined for it. Also ask for the name of who you are speaking to. Sometimes two or three different people from the same place have your number and even though you ask to be removed from one person calling, the next may not know that and call you anyway. It took me almost a week of doing this on a daily basis and eventually the calls stopped. It takes time, but it works. oh, heavenly peace and quiet!
Not necessarily, many phone calls may have been made. (nm)
x
Love my PJs. DH calls them my "leisure suit." LOL
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withheld cell phone calls
my son keeps getting crank calls on his cell phone all the time. I called ATT and they say there is no way to tell who it is. How can I find out. I know it has to be one of his friends. Now he is actually getting weird messages. Any ideas?? Thanks
She says if she calls the cops every time he shows up ...sm
he will just be gone by the time they get there. She did pick up the phone several months ago when he put the gun to his head. She said I am calling 911 to come take you to get help. He immediately stopped and sat down and said no please don't call the cops. I am not going to kill myself. I won't do that anymore. Now if he was serious, he would have not cared. He would have said hey I will be dead before they get here. He knew he wasn't going to do it and he didn't want to get hauled off for psychiatric evaluation. THen he started threatening this again on the phone one time and she said ok I am going to have you committed then cause you need help. He said oh no I am not going to kill myself. And for a long time he did not bring it up again. It is for attention.
hubby calls them 'health food'
cuz of the peanut butter and oatmeal -- he's always "needing" more health food :)
i don't understand why there is not a limit on how many calls can be made from 1 phone. I know D
register are set up to only let you in 1 time by either phone or internet, so why can't AI do this also????
I am sick and tired of the umpteen million calls every day
I am on a DO NOT CALL list and I cannot turn off my phone for another few days until the kids are out of school for the summer (school needs to be able to reach me in case of emergency.)
Today, I have had THREE organizations call me for donations to cancer research.
One call from the National Federation for the Blind.
One call from the National Firefighters Association.
This is a typical day.
I have caller ID but the school number shows private so when these places call and also show private name/number, I answer them.
How many times does one have to say DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN?
Criminy! 
Okay, I'm done venting.
Phone calls are defininely in order here first! Passed
s
I hadVonage & experienced choppy & dropped calls. They are much like AOL
and if you do cancel you have to pay a hefty cancellation fee. Never again.
When the physician personally calls you, red flag time
I just had an MRA of brain this past week and nephrologist called today, not in and he left his cell phone # for me to call him back. He said an artery showed up as bigger than should be - I asked aneurysm and he said, well he wanted to know about my seeing a neurosurgeon ASAP and he said he would call and talk to 1 he knew (if I did not have one of my choice, nope didn’t ) and get me in just as soon, hopefully tomorrow and then nephrologist called back in about 5 minutes to verify he did speak with the neurosurgeon and appointment tomorrow. Now I have just started to draw my full social security, still working, planning vacations and yes that is pleural and crud!! Maybe good this anomaly caught in time, would hate to stroke out or worse. I had been going to another neurologist, started having some twitches in my face and also nystagmus in my right eye here lately. I was knowing something was up. I will collect that medical license just any day now. Wish me luck with tomorrow....
My father-in-law sends my daughter presents, calls her, etc. BUT
pretty much ignores my son. My son is 16 and my daughter is 8. They are both his grandchildren. He will send a gift to my son on his birthday, for Christmas, etc. same as he does with my daughter. But the presents are usually not equal in price. Then he will call and talk to my daughter and not ask to speak to my son or even ask about my son. He will send postcards when he is on vacation and address them to my daughter with my son's name squeezes in as an after thought out to the side. When he is in town visiting his mother and sister, he will bring my daughter little gifts and call and ask to see her, but usually never asks to see my son.
I don't have a very friendly relationship with my FIL as I divorced his son and the divorce was not an amicable one. However, when my son was little and I was still married, my FIL was very close with my son and treated him similarly to the way he treats my daugther now. It seems as my son has gotten older, my FIL has simply decided he doesn't count anymore. I think some of this has to do with my son being a teenager with a smart mouth who has been very vocal about the divorce, my ex, and his grandpa. My son doesn't get along with his father and he took my side in the divorce.
I really, really, REALLY want to tell my FIL off, but then he'll stop having any contact with my daughter and she's too young to understand everything that's going on. She loves him to pieces, but I'm also afraid that the same thing will happen with her as it did my son -- as she gets older and starts to figure things out and understand and become more opinionated, my FIL my just shut her out too.
It is really just a crappy thing my FIL is doing. If I confront him about he'll just feign innocence and act like he didn't realize he was treating them differently. So maybe my anger is just fruitless anyway.
The original When a Stranger Calls...at the height of my babysitting years. nm
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Basically stick to a schedule. Laundry is only "housework" while I"m working. Keep calls sh
s
Love the cell phone commercials (cingular?) about dropped calls
They are so funny.
if actual threats then report it; keep all records/emails/calls for reference
nm
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
'scuse...keep calls short as I feel I must do these things in order to make money. No babies
s
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
Lab here with some issues.
We can't figure out what the problem is either. I give her a bath every other day with dog shampoo made from dry skin dogs and that seems to help her the rest of that day and part of the following one.
She must have some serious issues (sm)
Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down. Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh. Maybe tomorrow.
Not sure what his issues are
My son is not very honest. When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly. Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it. I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial). My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them. Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.
During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand. I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party. But my son was not honest. He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal. He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true. When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.
This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again. I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives. He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue. He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.
Other issues?
Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it. Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.
"Psych issues" usually include -
being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it
being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change
being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder
finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice
very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes
people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all
My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male". Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak. It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her". So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".
You have several issues here sm
First, mortgages are no longer a wise investment. The general trend is towards home values going down, not up. You could well end up 10 years from now owing more than you can sell the house for. I have had this happen to me.
You have GOT to live within your means. If your wife is overspending, she needs help. Yes, overspending is a pathology!
Downsizing even further is probably your best solution, after your wife has addressed her issues with spending more than you have. Being house poor is a fool's journey into madness, especially because with gas prices continuing to rise, as food may be a real luxury soon.
I have downsized twice in the last 5 years, in part because my family grew up and left home, and the last time because it made economic sense. I live in an older trailer house, but it is lovely inside...warm and comfortable. Ashamed of it? NO WAY it is paid for IN FULL and MINE. It was a wise move. I am now able (and motivated) to save about 25% of my income after taxes, sometimes more and I am looking at ways to cut corners so I can save even more.
I am worried about a second Great Depression in this country, and I am not alone in my thinking. LIVE SMALL and get your wife on the same page.
Issues
Probably depends on state laws or any neighborhood covenant rules you might have. But if it is free to roam, I'm not sure if the law would see it as a pet. So then I wonder if there are laws about feeding deer. Is this one deer the only one in your neighborhood? Nobody keeps deer as pets here, but with a swamp and bits of wooded areas around, we see deer in the next neighborhood frequently. They only come into our yard and eat my hostas when there is a serious drought and their food supply diminishes.
Fencing has to be 10 feet high to control deer. Seems like the neighbors should be feeding the deer more food than they are if there is any hope of keeping it from devastating landscape plants.
Sorry for your issues...
Before I became an MT I used to work in nursing homes and assisted living. I had some elderly family as well.
I am sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes the person you are worried about does not have a grip on the reality of their situation.
My MIL lost my FIL about 9 months ago. A year before that she had her left leg amputated above the knee. Due to several issues, she is wheelchair bound and cannot do. When FIL died she was incapable of caring for herself, though she insisted that she could. It actually took her having an "incident" in order to convince her otherwise.
My grandma had to be put in a care center because she had issues similar to yours. My aunt was the one who took care of her and there was no way otherwise to do it. They tried everything, an aide to come in during the day, etc. This woman was so ticked off she didn't speak to my aunt for 2 months. She did eventually get over it.
What I think is that you need to get as many family members involved in this as you can. Make it very clear that you fear for her safety and wellbeing. If she is mad at you, let her be angry. It is not all at you. Some of it is the fact that she just cannot do things she used to do. They all go through it, kind of like a grieving period.
I have no other advice to offer you, but do stand your ground if you truly believe it is a safety issue. The guilt you feel right now is nothing compared to what you would feel if you backed down and the woman actually fell at your place and got hurt.
IMO I believe many men have issues because of their
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