P.S.
Posted By: Chavera on 2008-05-27
In Reply to: Marriage Help - Done
Dear Done:
I was reading through all these posts and just wanted to add this (even though it IS about me and might not be acceptable to some) My husband was initially quite angry when I left but has gotten over it. We get along very well now. He calls me almost every day, when he is having a problem, or to see what's going on, etc. (I didn't mention that 1 of our children came with me, we have 5 all together - the oldest 2 live on their own). We collaborate on doctor appointments, band concerts, etc., whatever needs to be done for the children (even though they are getting older!)
The thing is, what was wrong is still there. For instance, arguments about money were huge, also both of us lack the ability to be emotionally intimate which led for me to a lack of ability to be physically intimate). With the distance, sometimes I think, what if? Could we try again? I don't think either of us is ruling it out. But you know what? There's no hurry. What is going to happen, will happen. I feel like I have grown a lot in this last year. We married when I was 21 and he was 23. I really needed more time back then to work though stuff.
I also wanted to reiterate that my husband and I never had physical fights, never screamed and yelled at each other, did have arguments in front of the kids and possibly because my own "family of origin" situation was so terrible, I really didn't think my children were being affected by our unhappiness. But they were.
I also wanted to say that I do believe you can work things out in your marriage as long as both of you are willing. I am not anti-marriage. My oldest daughter is 28 and engaged and I am so excited! I can't wait to have a grandchild! Well, someday . . .
I really wish you all the best as you deal with this huge, heartbreaking, stressful situation.
Tina
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