Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : )
Posted By: nm on 2007-01-24
In Reply to: funny how things are interpreted, I interpret - happily married as an oxymoron *rofl* - jokin....s
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Not an oxymoron but close enough
that it is difficult to find jobs like that (especially in certain areas of the country).
Funny you mentioned Chuck E. Cheese Mouse ... I always thought it would be fun to be a sports team mascot.
I'd like to learn how to make pottery but never thought of working in a studio. Not bad!
I'm too wimpy for the circus, and I wrap like a two year old. Lol Oh well. : )
YOU can't afford to, your creditors can afford to.
nm
and even if you can't afford it, still better!!!..nm
When you can afford it.
fsd
You CAN'T afford it
If you are charging things and then paying only the minimum payment, you CAN'T afford it. You are paying interest charges and that's money down the toilet. You don't say how much you owe, but you owe too much if you are carrying over charges from month to month. You are deluding yourself if you think you can afford to spend.
What does afford mean?
When you can afford something, you have the money to buy it. You don't have the money to buy it or you wouldn't be racking up credit card debt. You can only afford it if you can totally pay off your credit card every month. You seem to be living in la-la land financially, based on your posts here. This would be a really good time to get a financial education before you find yourself in big trouble.
Please, nowadays many can't *afford* them
And not talking about people on welfare here. But they all still have them, sometimes many! Selfish, IMO. Today you better be making at least 100,000 a year or at least a very high credit card limit if you want a truly happy fulfilled child who can keep up with the Joneses and have everything everyone else has these days or at least a very high credit limit. ;)
I would LOVE to be able to afford a
I'd think I had died and gone to heaven! :)
I have preteen children at home and I would NEVER have been able to do this with infants or toddlers. I try to schedule my work when my kids are at school or asleep and, on the rare occasion they are home when I am working, I have very little disruption from them. They understand mom is working.
I have recently started doing IC and although I don't have to adhere to an actual "schedule", I do what is needed in order to be the best MT I can be AND I also do what is needed in order to be the best mother/wife I can be.
Bottom line for me is professional or not, inhouse or home, if my family doesn't come first, then I feel my priorities would be greatly misdirected. :)
I do understand your point about children and disruption though. Like I said, if my children were infants/toddlers, there is no way I could do MT work in even a semi-professional (is that possible? semi-professional??? lol) way at home, unless I had someone here to take care of them while I was working.
I couldn't afford the gas - nm
nm
I think I would tell here you just could not afford it, and state what
you can do, i.e., the week after. He is not obligated to go, especially if it is a $2000 trip with all things considered. If she cannot accept that, that is her problem. Be gracious, but just tell here there is no way to afford the trip. Or, why not just move your trip up a week, go for the entire week, and if there are not enough tickets for everyone, then your DH can go to the ceremony and the rest of you meet them afterwards.
My point exactly. He can afford it
and he should afford it. All the CEOs of all of these companies that are begging for handouts...this is what they should have to do.
All these CEOs for these companies that aren't doing good...I think they should jump on the bandwagon here. They cut our pay or pay us next to nothing, because they say the companies are not doing well...but they are not taking paycuts or cutting bonuses for upper management.
I would give them what you can afford
and if they don't like it, it's their problem. It's the thought that counts. A teenager should enjoy a gift certificate to the movies or to his/her favorite clothing store. As for the adults, my husband and I have been giving our parents gift cards to their local grocery store. Everyone needs to eat. I'm glad we don't run into these problems with our families. Everyone is happy to get something no matter how inexpensive. Try not to stress too much about it.
If anyone can really afford 14 kids, ok but
a single parent, living with her parents, breeding 14 kids and I would almost bet we are the ones really taking care of the kids, not her. I remember some time ago when my housekeeper remarked to me about her cousin having a brood, about 7 and I asked what kind of work did the mother do and when told I said, she cannot possibly take care of all those on that salary. I was told not only did she receive welfare but also section 8 for the house and my housekeeper wanted to strongly argue that this woman "takes care of her own." You don’t do that when you don’t pay for your own. I don’t know but I never got any money for raising my own kids and I resent strongly taking care of others. I think the government should do some kind of reduction on this family.
If you buy from a catelogue, then you can afford
QVC or HSN either one. I have bought from Catherine's but they are a little higher. You can get clothing all day long reasonable from the channels and no one has to complain about wearing mumus or the like. I buy almost exclusively and even have an account with HSN but like QVC better, I think.
I can only afford a Ford! LOL! (Afford a Ford?)
xx
I cannot afford the Gevalia, but
my mother gets it - it is SO expensive but she can afford it - and from time to time she gives me a box. It is wonderful, wonderful stuff. We both drink our coffee very strong, which makes it even more expensive. I can't imagine there is any better coffee anywhere.
I love it. I wish I could afford someone every week.
It is just a huge relief when I don't have to do that heavy cleaning once a week. We have 2 dogs too and the dog hair drives me nuts!
Can you afford to have a mother's helper SM
Come into your home for 2 to 3 hours a day? Maybe she could play with your son and do "school" with him (art, puzzles, colors, shapes). It would be similar to having a 1:1 aide like some children require in public school. Maybe she could let him be her helper baking cookies. She can praise him for being such a big helper.
He might feel really special having extra attention. Then, if he got too out of hand, she could take him for a walk or take him to a safe room where he could play (or throw a fit) where it won't interrupt your time with your other children.
Having a high-strung child is very exhausting. You love them but find yourself resenting them a lot of the time too. It would be doubly hard from someone like yourself who is with them 24/7. You need a break from him, and he needs a break from you too.
Big hugs...I'm sorry you're going through this. Next time he acts up, give him a hug and tell him you love him. Maybe try cuddling with him for a few minutes until he calms down. It's worth a shot! LOL...although that might train him to want to throw fits so mama will cuddle with him.
Chickadee
How can anyone afford a luxury like a facial
I can't even keep food in my fridge or gas in my tank!
SURE he can afford to work for a dollar --
What a load of manure.
Can't afford to be hooked to anything, except typing right now!!!
nm
Owning a pet is a privilege, not a right. If you can't afford health
;
Can you afford at least a 50% paycut? Here in the SE, our teacher's aides don't sm
make more than 10.00 per hour and that is for experienced TAs. You will probably start out at 7.50 to 8.00 an hour.
But, if you just need a little spending money and think that your peace of mind is worth that much in pay, then you should go for it.
I'm a great advocate in doing what you love most in order to be happy in life. Have a dream or vision and then go after it no matter what it takes. Those kind of people live the healthiest, happiest lives. Good luck to you!
I say go for it. If I could afford to work outside somewhere making less than $10 per hour
I'd get out of this field in a second :)
Well, if ya can't afford a nanny,don't be looking into time shares!
I am just shocked that people actually set out to do this with no intention or interest whatsoever for a measly 50.00 or tickets to SeaWorld! Guess desperate times call for desperate measures? Yikes.
Can't afford fancy concrete statuary..
so in my flower beds I have a collection of rusty junk, old andirons, the decorative ends from a metal park bench, old birdcage, buckets, wagon wheels.. the crowing object is a handmade birdhouse that looks like an outhouse that my brother in law made with a rusty tin roof... I call it country classy...
Vari kennel crate if you can afford sm
Used this instead of wire, chew toys, water cup on front gate, they grow to love it as their "home" and you will wonder why you didn't buy one before, it more than pays for itself and you don't have to worry while away. I had several dogs who did hundreds of dollars worth of damage. I did not know about crating. Used sour apple spray for one dog, another like it! Talk to the pet supply store and look for ads, trainers buy crates up fast in the paper, I drove 100 mi. round trip for my Vari Kennel, plastic with wire front gate, not as ugly as the wire ones. If it's too big, put a cardboard separator until the dog gets bigger, then the bigger, the better they like it. They feel protected and actually want to go in there as time goes on. Good for when you have company who doesn't like animals as well. They also have fancier ones online that look like furniture but expensive.
Tell you dentist to put 'veneers' over your teeth, if you can afford it nm
nm
Here is an idea to find out if you can afford 2700 a month.
Start putting $2700 a month in a savings account now. Do this for 6 months. By then, you would have saved at least $16,200 plus any interest that would acumulate. Or just do it for 3 months if you cannot wait. Think about it. If you can't do that, then you cannot afford $2700 house payments. There will also be more expenses with a baby on the way, like daycare, diapers and formula but I would start with making a "house payment" to a savings account first.
Frankly, I would rather do without then have to depend on my family. But they are the types that think just because I need them for something, they can control my life. Maybe yours is not like that, I don't know. Also, I don't think working 2 or 3 jobs just to pay a house would work out for me. I could not enjoy that house if I had to work all the time. I'd never be home to enjoy it!!!!
Dh and i make a combined income of 70k. our house very small, only 820 sq foot. we only paid 29k for it. We only owe 8K now. We have two girls, one is 5 the other is 20 months. We are crowded but we are closer than most families. Our girls are both happy, healthy have lots of friends. My oldest is the smartest in her class, accoridng to her teacher. They both wear nice clothes, have nice toys to play with, have plenty to eat, get excellent medical care. I don't think they would have turned out any better in a fancier house. Maybe mroe spoiled though, Oh my, they are spoiled enough as it is.
Congrats on the baby and happy father's day. I think it includes fathers to be too.
Because I gained weight quickly and can't afford to replace all my clothes at once (sm)
plus I am trying to lose weight and hope that they will fit again and I won't have to replace them all.
I'm with you 50 and single..
I too have sworn off relationships and very happy being on my own. I cannot and will not go through it again. Both my ex's were two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the same type of people. At 52, I am quite happy being alone but also having a great circle of friends. It far outweighs being unhappy, angry, always hoping things would get better when they never did.
I am not a single mom but...
I was a single woman when I bought my house. It is one of the things I regret the most right now.
BUT ONLY cause I wasn't settled down, no family, things came up and i wanted to move. I also bought it right before the market crashed 2.5 years ago, and now I am in an interest-only ARM on an upside down mortgage.
Now, considering this probably wont happen to you because the market has already crashed, there still might be room to wonder if it could fall more, depending on where you are looking to buy. My advice is if you are going to stay there and that is your home, your job, etc. etc. then buying is a great idea and when you mention you are responsible for anything that happens to the house... well that is the chance you take. Depends on what kind of home you buy, how old, and if there are HOA dues. I still dont know how I feel about homeowner's associations, even though I belong to one. However, they will be responsible for anything exteriorly wrong with my house, but for $80.00 a month. you know? so you definitely have to weigh your options.
My main advice would be DO NOT RUSH. that is what I did as I was young and excited to be a home owner at a young age, but now all that money i worked so hard for since the age of 15 is gone. I no longer have the 50K I put down on the house. That is something REALLY tough to deal with.
I love being a homeowner, but I hate that I bought when I did. you know? I know I am not the only one in that boat of course but it is still very very tough.
Good luck!!
well, I'm a single mom....
I've been divorced for nearly 8 years. I have taken care of my son completely on my own. I do not have a huge social circle, but I know what I like to do, and I concentrate on my son, but one day that child will (hopefully) grow up and be on his own and so it will be just me. I know what I like, do what I like, but sometimes, having that special someone would just, for me, make things better. But, now this is the odd part, having been married to the wrong man, I would be perfectly content to have a "significant other" without ever going to the "married" stage. I am fine and have been fine on my own the last 7 years, learned a lot about myself. Now at 35, I feel like I want someone in my life, but I dont necessarily have to be married. Sounds odd, and most of my friends are the opposite. But, I'm also one of those people that never had a lot of boyfriends, etc. I was not the girl in high school who had crushes on a lot of guys, I chose to date and not have a serious relationship in high school because I thought I was too young for that, haha. I've seen both ends of the spectrum, I've seen completely happy couples, my own mom and step-dad for example, if I was to ever get married again, I want a relationship like theirs. They are each other's best friends, and still so in love, but they also make a point of doing things separately because they are, after all, 2 separate people; and I've seen people in my life who are in their 60s and still perfectly content to be single.
I'm in the middle of that spectrum, haha, I would like someone to share in parts of my life, but I don't have to marry him if that never happens either. :)
I do know that I'm picky on friends, and I'm shy, and I don't date much, its just hard to date. I'm a single mom, I work from home, I live in a small town and have only been here 6 years, but only made 2 friends, well, people I would consider friends, I work midnights, sleep during the day, and spend time with my son in the evenings and with our family on the weekends, so I really don't even have time to date, so its a darn good thing I am happy in my life, haha, or I'd be a lonely mess. Sometimes it does get lonely, but in an affection way, not so much in a socializing way for me, I don't know how else to word that.
A single woman
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Please do not rush into a relationship with any man at this point. Enjoy this time and spend it getting to know your children better and just spending time with them. Also get to know yourself and feel comfortable with who you are - develop some hobbies and interests. If you've spent the last 2 decades in this kind of relationship, you haven't had much time to spend on yourself. Soak in a hot tub every night if you want to.
In a sense, you've just cut a huge wart off your foot and of course it's going to feel strange and unfamiliar. It was the wart that was strange, now things are normal. It just feels strange because you aren't used to it.
Hope some of this makes sense. If you think about it, I bet you are actually less lonely now than when he was there. Some of the loneliest people I know are in marriages and relationships. Some of the happiest and most joy-filled people I know are on their own.
So happy to be single.
Sounds like he has a huge stick stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Big hugs for you!
were you a single parent
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It was not my attempt to single anyone out
is simply curiosity about some of the posts I've read. Has nothing to do with Huckabee, constitution, declaration of independence, etc.
As far as the nice day goes... right back at ya! :)
Question for single MTs
I am divorced now for awhile. I am finding that I have absolutely no interest in dating! I look at the online dating sights occasionally but no one attracts me. There seem to be slim pickens if you know what I mean. Anyway, I seem to be very happy on my own. My question is, do any of you feel the same? I guess I'm just at a point in my life where I'd rather stay single.
not one single fear
zero, zip, zilch, nada...
we are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. the rest we create or obtain on our own later in life. me: none, other than the two i was born with.
Single Mom Survivor here ... have
Looking back over my experience as an owner and as a renter, raising my children alone with limited resources:
Renting is easier and more cost effective for you than buying.
Pro's of renting:
1. Low deposit to get in the door.
2. Rent is usually reasonable and oftentimes contract won't go up if you are a good renter.
3. MAINTENANCE is the responsibility of the management -- you are not out for those costs.
4. You can leave with a 30-day notice.
Pro's of ownership:
1. You are building equity.
2. Tax breaks.
3. If financial crisis, it takes about 6 to 9 months to get to foreclosure so you do have some time to find another place.
Con's of renting:
1. May require a background and/or credit check.
2. Although evictions are subject to some jurisdiction (they must give you a 10-day notice), it can be quicker to evict you from a rental than from your own property.
Con's of ownership:
1. ALL maintenance and repairs are up to you. Can be very costly.
2. You cannot get out of this very easily - especially in this market.
Hope this helps.
She's not a single person
The cnn article is worded a little confusingly, but the woman is married and her husband is the one who is scheduled to return to Iraq, not her father.
I have no idea why she was taking fertility drugs when she already has 6 at home - unless they are not biologically hers. The doctors should be sued for malpractice for implanting that many embryos. The ethics guidelines these days state that they should not implant any more than two at a time to avoid situations exactly like this.
And now you see why they're single!
I think the internet is partially to blame. Guys start trolling for women and never stop the conquest. Supposedly hot babes to flirt with, who wants an average girl in real life?
If you could force the creeps to tell the truth:
"Sorry I blew off our lunch date, but I was busy having spur-of-the-moment cybersex with a stranger."
"Oh, I never intended to actually MEET you, I only enjoyed the challenge of seeing if you would meet ME. I prefer fantasies to reality."
"Disappointing women gives me a power rush. Score!"
"Quantity over quality, honey. Now describe what you're wearing. And what WAS your name again?"
Definition of a single man...
... I heard this and told it to my then-husband, who, oddly enough, did not find it funny. (Perhaps because the shoe fit all too well.)
Anyway... this lady said that many men basically had their d*ck in one hand and their umbilical cord in the other, and were looking for a place they could plug them both in....
Is he single?? LOL - not many good ones left. nm
x
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.
It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.
I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.
I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.
It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.
I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...
All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.
Good luck, sweetie! :-)
I assume you're single.......
You need to call this guy. Call him at the office with a "question" and see where the conversation takes you.....Good luck!!!
I am talking single mom by choice, not by
a death. I have been widowed before and still had a child at home and the insurance money then was split half for a burial and I gave my child the other $10,000. I do not believe in pity-parties as I see a lot on MTS. I am just glad I waited until later when having my children. I think the ultrasound is a way to make a women thing more about what should be her decision alone but would not have changed my mind then or now.
I am a single young person
and you know sometimes it is nicer to go out and do things on your own. I have found sometimes when I have gone out with people they do not want to do the same thing so you end up wasting energy trying to convince them or they lollygag and I hate that. As much as it is nice to have someone or a special someone to do things with, there is nothing wrong with being an independent and doing things on your own. As I see it, if I wait around for someone to magically appear to do things with, I may miss out on a lot of good things. As for bus trips, I live in the SF Bay Area and I know I have seen all sorts of neat bus trips to places like national parks, Tahoe, etc and you go in a group and explore.
a single paddling at school is different
from a parent keeping a paddle at home during the summer. I'm wondering why you need to go on and on about this.
My past is my past. I believe each parent has the right to raise their children in a manner that suites each family. My hope is that physical punishment is limited, but there are other methods of physical punishment other than paddling which can do worse harm to a child. Even verbal abuse can be worse.
Thank you for your sympathy for the decisions my parents made, but those things are in the past. BTW, I don't let people get close before of emotional manipulations by people in my adult life and not having learned how to stand up for myself when I was a child. Now I have learned those leasons and just use more caution about whom I take into my confidence. I'm not as screwed up as I feel you are trying to intimate :)
I celebrate being single and when I'm pregnant.
I'm not 16, however. Her sister is young and made a mistake. I'm not going to judge her ability to parent based on what Britney has done.
I don't disagree that a single home would be best
although I do disagree that group home placement is less desirable for short-term placements for multiple siblings under the federal 15/24 law by keeping the family connection intact (again, please read that my perspective is under the short-term law as it currently stands because the goal is reunification with the parents). Imagine losing your parents, then your whole family, your home, all your friends, just so some strangers can keep the kids together and who only knows what mental or other distress they suffer in that situation. Granted there are some good foster providers, but most of them want to adopt (not all of them, but most of them do) and fewer want siblings in today's environment than even just 10 years ago.
I personally took no offense in what she said about the kids. Having had a daycare for 10 years, I have seen all sides of the racial, economic, foster care, state involvement, abuse, family disagreements, drug abuse, etc., that any one person could possibly imagine. When she responded to your question about the biracial statement, even you said her answer was _not a biggie._
While you do not specifically state in your post that you adopted any of the children for whom you cared, I was pointing out the adoption factor in the federal law that currently exists and how it effects kinship care and foster care and how that law effects children and siblings. It DOES sound from your post that you saw things from a foster care perspective (pure speculation on my part).
Currently in the US there are over 5 million kids being cared for by relatives and less than 600,000 in formal foster/group home care. I've seen a grandmother who raised her 3 grandchildren for 10 years ripped away from her by the _justice_ system to be given to complete strangers because when the bio dad got out of jail, his exercised his right to reclaim the children and promptly allowed people the children had never seen before adopt them. I've seen grandparents lose their newborn grandchild to foster care parents because the state was running adoption services in preference to keeping the child with his/her family.
I am very pro kinship care even though the government finally realized a way to save millions of dollars a year by providing less support to kins than to foster care providers, draining resources on a larger number of kins who are usually older and closer to retirement age...people you give up everything they have to keep their family together.
Try not to let that chip on your shoulder damage your halo :)
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