Our children are grown, our only grandchild is due to be
Posted By: wannie on 2008-11-20
In Reply to: How much do you spend on Christmas gifts? - sm
born tomorrow and we all talked about it and this year we are only going to buy 1 gift per person (except for the new grandson). So, our budget will be very small this year and, for once, I am actually not stressing about Christmas. 
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Grown Children
True, not all families are the Cleavers. However, your tone comes accross very unloving towards your children. I find that sad. My oldest son (29) died in an accident. Open up and let your children get to know you before it is too late. Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short.
Lilly
No, my children are both grown and I am not particularly fond
of home schooling. I think it deprives the children of much-needed social interaction and learning to get along in the real world.
We have grown children and paid up condo. SM
I think about advice I would give others. Getting any part-time job I could, delivering papers, selling Avon (people still buy Avon), renting room out in house. If elderly people near you, offer transportation or shopping service. One thing is, no matter what, no one should just sit around waiting for another job, be they male or female.
Me too, have grandchild graduating sm
Anything but money.....ideas welcomed...
Celebrating the birth of my first grandchild, sm
born Friday afternoon at 12:37 p.m. They are coming home today, I am heading to their house to help out, my daughter tore a lot during delivery, is sore, so I want to do whatever I can, and enjoy the baby, BTW, a girl, 7 pounds, 15 ounces. Yikes, it's official, I really am getting old.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
This man's ego has grown so much it is
getting ready to bust and then he will realize his show has had its run and it is time to go away. I do think that for Ivanka to be so young she carried herself very well and had very intelligent things to say.
Grown and
several years ago.
if they are so grown then maybe they could
get out on their own?? Just a thought. It is the mothers home, not theirs and she pays to be the boss and therefore is. If kids so grown, let them have at it.
He's a grown-up man and obviously sm
sees a lot in you. I can understand your apprehension (BTDT), but you could possibly miss out on the best friend you could ever have. Enjoy his company, and enjoy a good life. Life is too short!
all grown up
If you work you can find a nice apartment even if your credit is poor. Everyone's credit is poor. Find yourself somewhere great to live and then tell him he is welcome to come if he wants. Then, go live your life!! It's hard to do, but, NO, not all men are selfish.
when they are grown and won't sm
follow the rules of the house then you have to make them get out on there own. I have two sons. We had to make both of them leave. The only rules we had were if you are not coming home, let us know. I always told them to give me a "ballpark" time when they would be home and if they were not going to come home then, just call me. I didn't really ask where they were at, kind of silly for 20 year old boys and they can tell you anything. But, for their own safety I told them always let someone know when you are NOT coming home. They didn't want to go by those rules and threw fits and we had to put them both out (not at the same time of course, they are different ages). The youngest is now a firefighter (32 years old), married, has his own business on the side. The oldest has his own business, lives out of state. They both did very well.
I see too many 40 year old kids living at home sponging off mom and dad and will never get anywhere doing that. It is a pattern they just keep doing over and over again.
Now if they are in school and doing well, working or not working depending on the school situation, I would not put them out UNLESS they didn't follow my rule and then I would not care if school was involved or not. I think this is why we have so many kids who will not grow up because we enable them to be this way. Just my opinion though. I didn't say it was easy, but it is necessary.
My son is NOT being childish. He is more grown up
And, since you mentioned it, both of my brothers are felons. One is already in the pen and the brother that my son does not want at the wedding will soon be going to the pen for what else - 3 counts second degree sexual assault. So, do you still think our son is childish?????? Not sure how you got the childish portion out of the original post to begin with!!!
As you said, you are grown as is he. Let it be. Is he questioning her sm
or her motives? It is not your place at all to say anything to your father about his impending wedding, honeymoon, etc. Now, if she was taking his money, squandering, etc., and not marrying him then that's another story. She obviously loves him and he loves her, so wish them well, be sweet and happy for him and move on with your own life.
I can sense your bitterness and you need to cut that out of your life. It's counter productive to be bitter and resentful. And, the Bible says it clearly: Bitterness rots your bones.
MAKING??? Isn't he a grown man? (nm)
x
I have always grown veggies - sm
And this year it looks like doing so will really pay off! I mean, for a few dollars I can get enough plants to cover my 100 sq feet of raised beds and really make a dent in the cost of produce, which we eat a lot of. Happy gardening! 
She is a grown woman and all you
can do is invite her and leave it at that.
my dear grown up former
Dear Son,
Remember when I carried you on my hip everywhere we went until you weighed 50 pounds? I still have a lopsided left arm and body. People would say to me, "when are you going to let him walk?" and I would say, "If I put him down, he will run off!"
Remember when I could not carry you anymore and you would take off in Sam's Club running and laughing just to see the look of horror on my face running after you, abandoning my cart?"
Remember how I had to buy an extra large pet harness at Pet Smart in bright purple and I put you in that leash whenever we were out in public?
Look at you now! All grown up and handsome and not one little trace of a leash! I love you, I would have taken 12 more just like you, I miss playing with you, and I am lucky to be your mom. You taught me all I ever wanted to know about glass replacement, first aid, and laughing until I peed my pants.
Love, Mom
Just wait until those roots have grown out
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.
You are talking about grown-a.. folks
By goodness, you do not even see where you are going wrong, do you? What happens if you die suddenly? Do you think they would starve, I doubt it. They would get off their lazy behinds and make do. Why don’t you just let them move in on you and make it 1 big happy home? I do not just dole out money without a person trying to help themselves. You are making them both invalids but wait, you still have the grandkids to go. Lucky you. Don’t gripe when you are to blame for their not working and trying to live on their own. Look in the mirror.
"Romance novels" are all grown up now
Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber are current faves of mine. Nora's books are a little more intense for the most part, Debbie's more funny and lighthearted. Yeah, they've got the requisite happy endings, but they're good fun reads for the most part, particularly Debbie's books.
My kids are grown, and I do NOT miss it!
I love my children, but bringing them up was the longest, hardest work that I ever did. The sheer exhaustion from never getting enough sleep made everything seem more difficult. But, we all came through it, and the payoff is the amazingly wonder relationships my children, husband and I have with each other as adults. We enjoy each other's company, and I'm so full of pride whenever I see my boys out in the world doing things on their own. After all, that was our goal all along... to raise up fine, responsible adults.
So I don't miss it, but I'm glad I did it. It was worth it. And my husband and I did a great job, if I do say so myself!
Yeah, well if he was grown up enough to take care
of your 5-year-old daughter, maybe you should have sent him to work. The nerve, a 13-year-old boy making his mommie work two jobs to support him.
Isn't that depending on welfare, too?
You are a joke. If I were a doctor, I would make sure you had a rubber room. By the way, making your son stay home and take care of your daughter was wrong. If you are as old as you say, it was wrong back then, as I am 37 and it was a big no no.
Nowadays, it is child neglect in a lot of places as 13 is expected to take care of no one but themselves for a long period of time.
For a grown woman you seem very dependent on
xx
Absolutely. I've known from age 9 (having grown up in --
a large family and the pandemonium that can be), that I wanted a quieter life than that. I like KIDS, but have never much cared for infants. They make me way too nervous. All that screaming they do overrides my Prozac level, and brings on homicidal thoughts. ;D
What would you do if your grown child told you
she felt like she had to walk on egg shells to be around you? Would you a) not be around her very much or at all or b) try to change who you are to fit in with what shethinks you should be like or c) just forget what she said? We are talking a 36 year old and I, her mother, on the other side of 65.
my kids aren't grown yet, but
I definitely would not put up with the 19-yo. He can get out and get a job. As for your daughter, I feel for her b/c she has kids. I'm not sure that I'd let her move in, though. She should look for some place cheaper to live. Offer to keep her kids for a day while she house hunts or apartment hunts. I also understand what she's going through with childcare expense. How old is the child she's asking you to watch this summer? Is he/she old enough to entertain himself -- 10 or 11? -- old enough to fix himself a lunchmeat sandwich and watch TV? If so, then I think if you could, you should consider watching him over the summer. $250 may not seem like much, but if she's able to find somewhere cheaper to live, it could be the difference between living on her own or moving in with you.
Obviously, you are under no obligation to help either of your children, but I suspect this situation bothers you because you care for them greatly. Maybe a compromise could work to benefit both of you. Good luck!
I have seen young girls as well as grown women
behaving like this. My goodness, this young female apparently was so excited about seeing these stars- I probably would have been the same at her age, in fact as a young girl years and years ago remember meeting Sal Mineo who starred with James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause- I got to shake his hand and remembered not wanting to wash it again. What about the ladies throwing their panties to what is his name, Ingelbert Humperdink (spelling?) when he played in Las Vegas. I see nothing out of the ordinary in this young girls actions, not in the least. Seen it a lot of times in my lifetime.
We are talking about a 5-y/o here not grown wacko adults - sm
so it is not a diaper fetish. Odds are the child is looking for attention and as stated in numerous posts wants to be the baby again and have all the attention. If the mom can, she needs to spend some 1:1 time with her 5-y/o, maybe at bedtime, story reading, or just talking, or take him down to the corner store and leave the younger one at home with dad, etc. Anything really, just spent 15-30 minutes a day that is his time with him mom alone. I wouldn't get freaked about it. I have 2 girls and the one loves to play with her nipples and stroke her tummy. She is 7 and just exploring sensation at this point. I told her it is okay to do but in private, not in public. I am not making a big issue out of it; not that it is a big issue to begin with.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
I think it's more IN-appropriate for a grown man to take/ask a woman for money. I know his type..
This is not anything new to him. This is how he survives. Chances are that he does have another "cash cow" so to speak in the wings. I've been there. I was stupid the first time just over 6 months of constantly bailing him out "so we could be together." Second time, I basically "paid" someone to be their friend for 3 years. I did everything in the world for him, mostly financial. I thought every time I helped him he would see what a great person I was and fall magically in love with me. Needless to say, he'd spent his life surviving by manipulating women and had no interest in me other than to support him. After I lost those 3 years, I regained my self-esteem and self-confidence that I deserved more. As far as I am concerned, no matter what the situation is, any man who takes money from a woman is worthless. That should be his last option. How about working more, getting a loan, anything but coming to you for money. I'm sorry to sound as if I am passing judgment but if I can save someone heartbreak I will try. My friend also spent a lifetime of supporting one deadbeat after another. Sometimes I think she subconsciously asked for it. She wanted to be needed. Yes, they were needy alright and needed her money but what she really wanted was just to be wanted. She had the two mixed up. The last guy that she dated for a year, through snooping in his computer unfortunately, found out he was on every personal ad site outthere including porn websites etc and had been meeting women AND men on the side while she handed out the cash believing he would marry her. Crushed was not the word for it. Sorry so long.. and as a side note...after 8 years of singlehood, I found my Prince Charming who spoils me rotten. I have never given him a dime and he has given me the world. They are out there.
I had a grown child and was employed (in this great
x
hahaha! REAL grown up, gals.
I'm back in high school. weee
Thank goodness both my kids are pretty much grown up sm
Both are in college, one away and one at home.
My gift will be supporting them in everything they do unconditionally, past, present, and future.
Just can't do gifts this year.
But I WILL have my traditional 3-foot tree LOL.
Rays in WS is enough for us all, though!! :-)
I usually do a lot of handmade gifts. This year each kid gets $100 they are all grown sm
I make my oldest son boxer shorts, he only likes the ones I make. My other son wanted a robe and matching PJ pants. Daughter wanted a couple of outfits and a denim jacket. My mom wanted something I had knitted up for her. Stepdad just wants to be remembered. My brother won't take anything from me, so no problem there. I will do some small things for my friends, but I won't spend $500 total, even with giving the 3 kids $100 each. I have NEVER spent that much on Christmas!
I have worked like a dog all year, but I have had no time to do these things they think they want.
So you just continue to give money to grown folks
because they are too lazy to work? You could do 1 of 2 things- take the children or call the family and children services if they are not being cared for. I would never continue to support people who did not want to help their self.
Oh for Pete's sakes...the kid is a grown man now...he can state his opinion..
it reflects nothing on the mother who raised him...
I feel your pain. I have a grown adult in my face 24/7.
The man needs a job.. He wants to be with me so he sits/lays behind me a lot of the day until I tell him to do something constructive like clean the house..his job.. As I tell him, you've been assigned a job description, now get on it. I will say that I wouldn't spend three or four hours arguing with him, he knows better. I'll knock his block off. :)
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*.... 
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc. Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.
Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
All children are different
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old. Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such. Times are a changing. I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.
Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?
Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"
I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
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