Ouch - my husband had to come clean to me too sm
Posted By: penny wise on 2008-08-24
In Reply to: That is some wonderful information - sm -
I was very upset. Physically sickened, the whole range of emotional distress.
Then I realized that it wasn't just about him or about me, it was our family. The kids would really suffer.
Believe me, it was no easy thing for him either. I had helped him get out of a sticky financial situation before, right after his divorce from his ex-wife.
I thought everything was all good. I could not have been more wrong.
So after the initial shock of it wore off, we sat down and discussed the situation.
There were still tears of frustration, anger, and all of that from me but there were also some tears from him too, having taken it so far and keeping me in the dark.
He knew exactly what he had risked but realized it a little too late to fix it on his own. He had no choice but to come clean.
He was absolutely drowning in it but he decided it was better that I hear it from him, rather than having collection agencies start calling constantly.
Your husband needs to hear it from you.
Maybe if you printed these discussions and had him read through them it might ease it just a little.
I wouldn't expect miracles but wouldn't you rather hear it from him if the tables were turned?
Our marriage was pretty rocky before this happened too. It's still not the best but we are trying to make it work.
Financial infidelity is probably as hard on a marriage as cheating. The deception and sneaking around -- trying to cover your tracks. You may not realize the exact depth of stress you are putting on yourself with trying to hide this.
You said you love him. That's the biggest thing.
The crud will only keep getting deeper until you start shoveling.
Come clean with him and let him help you figure out what to do.
Telling him the truth is going to be the hardest part.
Good luck to you.
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OUCH! My husband is out of town so he asked me sm
to go to the pool store, take them a sample of our water and then do whatever the pool people say to do. So, our ph is down in our pool and we're supposed to add 10 pounds of alkalinity to it. No problem. Our pool is quite large - 20 x 40. I never add chemicals to them. That's his job, but we wanted to be in it by Memorial Day so I figure I could at least go and get whatever chemicals and then add them. No problem. Mind you, I am a huge klutz - accident just waiting to happen!
I begin walking around the pool pouring in this big box of chemicals. I go over the diving board, around to the other side of the pool and then I'm almost done. As I round the corner of the pool all of a sudden something horrible happens! My left leg completely fell into this huge hole and I go flying! I think I broke my left ankle! My husband forgot to put the cover back over the pool filter! What was he thinking?? So, there I was, all alone on the pool sidewalk, foot stuck inside filter, cannot move, elbow all scraped up and it is painful!!! OMG! I could not believe it!
So, I finally pull my foot up and it is completely torn up! It looks like it was stabbed with a knife in a couple of places. I'm not sure what it hit that made it look and feel like that.
I'm contemplating going to the ER because if it isn't broken it's at least sprained, plus 2 huge lacerations.
My husband, who has a sense of humor, will call me an idiot for not watching where I was going. But, who's the idiot who left the filter cover off? Not me! I'm glad it was my left and not my right so I can at least work while I heal....
Ouch!
I'll bet she learned her lesson!
Ouch! I only got 7!
Turkey test...
http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp
Ouch.
Situations like yours are why we hear stories about senior citizens married 50 years getting divorced and then living in sin... because of the benefit and tax code "gotchas."
I am truly sorry to hear about your situation, and wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I have a 23-year-old relative who is disabled (and already on social security at her tender age), her only assets are a beat up car and a drawer full of thong underwear she bought when she was able to work, she's single, she has no children, she has no money--and she's not eligible for Medicaid? Excuse me? I can only think it's because she's not a pregnant illegal alien.
Yes, the system is screwed.
Ouch!
Have no legal advice to offer, but you might want to check with any Legal Aid agencies in your area, and even women's shelters. Maybe you're not being physically battered (at least I HOPE you are not!) but emotional and psychological battery can be just as damaging. Meanwhile, do you have a place to go when he kicks you out? Do you have your own bank account(s)? If not, suggest that be the FIRST thing you do. Any chance you could steal back the spare car key?
And of course I know nothing about your situation... but maybe if you don't act hostile or belligerent towards him, you can catch him off balance just enough to put yourself at an advantage; for instance, do NOT let on that you might try to steal back your spare car key! And then he might leave the keys lying around. Just don't leave YOURS lying around.
And if you have a place to go (be it a friend's place, or a relative's place), you might see what you can do about quietly starting to stash some things there, i.e. personal keepsakes, important documents, etc.
Again, only you know what you might be up against. But please, PLEASE come back often and let us know what's going on and how you are doing!
OUCH!!
Ouch. Yes, Romey is so right. They actually are
not getting declawed as vets would like us to think - its a big $$ maker for vets - but removing their bones - like taking our fingers off halfway at the 2nd or 3rd joint. I declawed 2 cats about 25 years ago - totally ignorant of the reality of it - and I have NEVER forgiven myself. And one of the cats - 2 brothers - got out accidentally and lost his life because he could not climb a tree or anything and get away from a neighbor's dog. Please reconsider. I have 2 male cats now - just over 1 year, and they do absolutely nothing damaging - one is fixed, one is not. We just have several scratch posts and a kitty condo, and lots of little toys. Can you hang in there and try just a bit more?
Ouch! That must hurt. Sorry.
a
LOL-OMG ouch! That would hurt!! sm
Anyway, I understood what you meant. This denture thing is all new to me. I never realized I would have to learn to eat all over again. It was more of a necessity than an option to get them. I have a full upper and a lower partial so it's only the top I am having trouble with. Feels better right now since Dr. ground down the annoying edge. Have to go back Tuesday and I think he will knock down the other side just a hair. Now, just to get the partial tightened up enough to quit popping out when I move my tongue...... Also, thanks for the tip on the Camphopenique. I'll try that!
Ouch, at 50-y/o....I'd run away screaming - sm
but as for abuse, no it is not abuse since it is a recongnized medical procedure unlike female mutilation.
Ouch! I'll say they hurt!
I've played paintball and it hurts through several layers of clothing. 
I don't know what the problem is either. My kids definitely have more stuff than I ever did. We got cable TV when I was in high school in 1983 and thought I had died and gone to heaven. Who knows what is going through their minds, but thank goodness for MY good kids, too.
Ouch! Poor kitty!
I know when I tore mine I was in agony...heck, even years later it still throbs and aches when it's cold and damp. I have absolutely no advice. I'm sure she's getting spoiled and you are taking great care of her. Just wanted to offer up my 'Get well wishes' for you both!
Mr. Clean
Boy, do I have work for him!
I like clean but don't like to clean (sm)
My house is cluttered and it's hard to clean or dust. When I worked at home I would wash my hands every 5 minutes or so because I was always touching dust and the sink was so convenient. Now I work outside in the dirt and I go hours without being able to wash up. I hate touching trash cans without being able to wash, but I remind myself it's just potting mix and and plant material we put in there, so I try to convince myself it's okay, LOL. I do keep handiwipes on my golf cart to use after touching really stinky, rotten dead plants. There is usually a trace of dirt under my nails now - so weird. I have to shower twice a day when it's hot.
Getting towels clean
Anyone have any suggestions on how to get towels to smell clean again. I've tried various detergents, Borax, hot water, cold water, hanging to dry, dryer sheets and nothing seems to work. I wash my towels, we use them once or twice and they just don't smell fresh anymore. Also after we use them we hang them on a towel rack to let the fresh air dry them. My husband hates the bleach smell so don't use that.
I use OxyClean, but it's the clean
feeling and whiteness I notice. I only use my towels once and then wash them again, but DH uses them more than once.
Mine was also to clean out some but
I had an artificial plant, still had the price on it, for $24.99 and had priced at $9.00. I had a guy who walked up and said I only have $5.00 left in my wallet at which time I told him better keep it, hard times might be coming. You know, I had really priced everything so right, had a pair of women's leather sandles, never worn, just bought this summer and had paid over $50.00 for them, had marked for $7.00 and 1 lady offered me $4.00. I am not hard up and when I price things as good as these, they can sit there forever before I just hand them away- that is unless I want to and then I can take to Goodwill and get deduction. I am older and I really paid dearly for this in terms of wear and tear on me. It was hot, humid yesterday morning starting out and by the end of the sale my body had so many aches and pain and just pure exhausation. I made overall about $200.00 on it but after paying my housekeeper who came, spent the night and helped me the next day, I came out to the good about $60.00- not enough to wear me down again. I just spoke with hubs and any and everything left over I am donating to Goodwill (and getting that write-off at the same time).
I agree you clean up after yourself, but
to go "BALLISTIC" over it seems a bit much. Must be lots of other things going on.
Clean house
Almost forgot my other idea - to do as Neacy on Clean House and have the family sit down and make a list of the things that routinely get done around the house and assign tasks to each person.
clean your stove
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH3tbQOJXd0&feature=related
425 degrees/15 min - toothpick comes clean
x
Does it clean the bottom of the shower/tub also?
nm
Yes, I do think not all people clean them each time
ask the ones who are on here. I would be willing to say that a lot let their cleaning go from time to time, maybe they are cooking the same food, say a hamburger or steak and think it is ok for another session. Does that apply to anyone out there?
Definitely clean the fan and the inside of the tower
Definitely need to clean out the inside of the tower, especially the fan. This gets clogged with dust over time and can eventually stop working and cause the computer to shut down and not boot back up. This can also cause damage to the motherboard and, if this happens, you're looking at getting a new computer. It is never a good idea to store a computer tower inside of a desk. They never have enough ventilation in there, even if it seems like they do. Computers work best where the temperature is much cooler.
Then I would suggest for clean water and
beaches you take them to Cancun. Florida has some bad water and beaches a lot of times. The water in Cancun crystal clear and the sand, no matter how hot it is, never burns your feet.
How do you clean artificial plants? (sm)
Seriously - the green ones (not flowers) how do you get the dust off of them? LOL
I think you were supposed to use CLEAN, NEW cat litter! nm
x
Clean out your ears so they can crawl out.
x
It's time to clean out your refigerator...sm
so you've got room to put all those sides dishes, pies, turkey, gravy, etc. on Thnxgvng away....and don't forget the ziplocs. Cat
Time for me to clean mine out cuz if I don't
the health department is going to condem it.
Make sure you keep the brushes clean
My daughter couldn't figure out why her face kept breaking out. Turns out, she had never cleaned or replaced any of her brushes for a year! Ick! Once she got new brushes, skin cleared up right away.
We always clean out our closets for Salvation
Army, and donate to the Toys for Tots. We also just gave a bunch of good furniture to hospice, and I always do their tree ornament angel thing as I've had hospice for my mom and dad and am ever so grateful for that help.
How Clean is Your House? Your Microwave
You know that UK show that's now here in the US..
This weeks show on HT..
How Clean is Your House? Your Microwave
From 1 to 5 with 5 being the best... (1 - Terrible, 2 - Little Messy, 3 - So So, 4 - Clean, 5 - Spotless)
Mine is spotless because I just cleaned it.
So I'll give mine a 5.
Yes you are weird, I do not cook, clean, etc., etc.
In fact have housekeeper that just came yesterday to clean and husband does the cooking. I get no satisfaction really from either. My house is kept nice but I pay to get it done.
and what happened to my right to breathe clean air?
when you say YOU DO IT IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME... GOOD FOR YOU!!!
but do you REALLY think that goes for EVERYONE?
come on, that is a ruthless thing to say when you d*mn well know how many people die of lung cancer from second hand smoke or from alcohol related incidents...
im glad you are acting responsible, but the way you are acting about the situation is NOT
Paula finally came clean
I saw on the Today show today that Paula FINALLY admitted that she was addicted to pain pills and is now clean. Duh, like we didn't know something was up even when she denied it. She does seem better this year although still annoying.
how to clean chrome faucets.........
'For chrome faucets: Mix together equal amounts of white household vinegar and water. Using a soft toothbrush dipped in the solution, scrub gently. Rinse well; dry.
To remove mineral deposits: Soak a facial tissue, paper towel, or several cotton balls in the solution, then wrap or place on the faucet for several minutes to dissolve the deposits. (This is an old trick of my mother's, and it still works great.) Rinse thoroughly and buff-dry with a soft cloth.
For gold-toned faucets: Mix a little baking soda with distilled water on a sponge and gently dab the water spots. Do not press hard or use a scraping tool or abrasive cleanser. Rinse, then wipe dry.'
Agree, have one - avoid using it sometimes because it really is a pain to clean!!!
but do people really not clean it each time? Ewwwww. Gross. :)
Do you have a Spencers Gifts by you. Lots of clean,
x
Underwear - clean or dirty, your choice.
d
agree with the clean up, and remove programs not used. sm
research the computer site, like dell, etc. sometimes they have forums, questions and answer areas. sometimes they offer fixes if it was a company glitch.
but first get your ducks in a row by defragmenting and freeing up space.
I think a clean maker can be the biggest factor sm
I have had a Bunn, Mr. Coffee, GE, etc, and the main thing in how my coffee tastes is how clean the maker itself is. I have learned the hard way that it must be cleaned with vinegar or a coffee maker cleaner once a month or the coffee maker will be slow to brew and not have a good taste. Also making sure to check the manual for how much coffee to use - mine states no more than 3/4 Tbsp per 6-ounce cup of coffee even though the coffee itself says 1 Tbsp per serving.
Anyone have any ideas on how to clean artificial plants, flowers?
I do have the real things in my home but in the bedroom I have several plants and/or flowers that really need a good dusting. I do not think I should put them under water. I would rather have the real plants all over the house but have to be careful of some because of my furkids. Thanks!
The people from Clean House on Style network. NM
x
Come clean my house. I wiill give glowing
x
So put on some holiday music, clean house, and make some
s
Once took a bucket of soapy water up to clean baseboards, etc in my SM
bedroom. Being the dainty individual I am, I tripped over the bucket and a lot of the water went on the carpet. Later I blew a fuse when I tried to wash the dust off of the light bulb in my lamp on the nightstand. Guess I forgot the bulb was hot. I called my friends and they came over to help me. While they were there my friend was helping me vacuum. She did not know I spilled the water earlier. All of a sudden tons of bubbles came rolling out of the bag on the vacuum. It looked so ridiculous all three of us just howled and laughed. She said . . . ONLY YOU!
How Clean is Your House, You are What You Eat, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares sm
I love BBC America!
I also love Hell's Kitchen, Dr. G, Big Medicine, Little People Big World, Deadliest Catch, South Park, etc. I love Birth Day or any other birthing shows that aren't super happy-go-lucky shows.
I need to turn the TV off!
cold compress and clean it with baby shampoo.
Would go find another eye specialist ASAP. I have this happen once in a while but not on a consistent basis. Can also be allergy related, i.e. if you use eye makeup or anything like that, or even if you are allergic to other stuff.
I am allergic to Pine Sol. When I use it, my eyes swell up and go shut. It is an awful thing to behold, let me tell you.
You'll pretty much have to paint and steam clean
My grandmother smokes inside, and when we repainted the inside of her house and cleaned her carpets (steam cleaned them twice!) you couldn't smell it anymore. That is, until she started smoking inside again!
Two things. Every time I clean my LCD screen with cleaner for it it gets streaky. How do you get
rid of the streaks when you clean it. Also another issue, I got tired of always pulling out eyebrows and I am letting them grow in. Anymore do this and how bad does that look.
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