Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm
Posted By: Inquiring mom on 2007-12-06
In Reply to:
Our 3rd grader has been really giving us a hard time this school year with not behaving at home and at school. Some of the defiance is things she's picking up from other kids at school, i.e. talking back, but she's getting into trouble at school more often for not following instructions. So far talking to her, giving her restrictions and setting goals isn't helping turn this around.
So.... for you parents who have dealt with this, what things did you try to get your kid to "get it" on how to behave appropriately?
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Thanks for the suggestions! Am definitely open to others. nm
!
And dealing with the kids is piece of cake compared to dealing
jk
I can tell you they are defiant at that
age. If I were to tell my daughter to make her bed or clean up the house, she argued. Then when I changed my tune and said be a slob if you want and acted like I didn't care and went about my business, she would make her bed and clean up around the house. They really test you at that age. Now that I look back though, I realize there was never a dull moment and I miss those days.
You have to keep thinking "unconditional love" to get you through the rough times with your kids.
You might have to copy and paste to open this, as I tried a few times and it does not open. SM
It is worth looking at and warms your heart.
Defiant 2nd grader too
Wow! Is it the time of year or something? The last few months, my little boy has been absolutely defiant. He is fine in school, except when he goes to reading group (he does not like the teacher), he has tried to come home by having the clinic check his temperature. This went on for days until they caught on that he did not like the class. So he went to the guidance counselor and they are not allowing him to come to the clinic around reading group. (Boy who cried wolf.)
Now, at home he is angry all the time, complaining all of the time, rude to his stepdad, mean to me and his dad and my husband believe I have to spank. I have never spanked in my life and I don't even know how to approach that...Just today I was thinking there was something wrong with him, oppositional defiant disorder or some other diagnosis (see that's the MT in me), but reading here, maybe it is a phase (hopefully). Still I too am looking for a solution. His stepdad took his TV out of his room because my boy would not take a shower for days and he lied that he did. I was asleep because I work third shift at the time. But taking the TV away worked he took the shower. Then, I hear this morning when they were at the store he picked a glass beer bottle off the curb and just smashed it. I asked him why he did this and he was trying to think up some reason but he could not come up with anything. This worries me. The thing is it is nice you guys are talking about this right now because it is exactly what is going on in our house this very day! Any and all suggestions would be welcome. Sorry for the long post. :)
Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!
Now I know who I'm dealing with
It's terrible that responsibility for a decision like a procedure on an infant would be placed in your hands. Terrible.
Dealing with it on the opposite end...sm
My middle daughter is dealing with weight issues on the skinny end of this issue. Kids are just as cruel when the child is extremely small and skinny. My daughter is going to be 10 in September and weighs in at 45 lbs. She is also very short for her age. She was a premie baby and has just never caught up with her age group. We are trying to add weight to her without stuffing her full of junk. I suggest talking to your pediatrician. They should be able to help you with guidelines and safe ways to encourage healthy eating and weight loss. It just seems kids find anything to pick on...but weight is a big issue even at 10. My daughters best friend is overweight, so the two of them together make quite a pair! They are able to relate to the same hurt they feel when being made fun of, even though one is skinny and one is overweight.
would love to see you dealing with
teenagers. Write a book already! or better yet, let me know the title of the film.
The advice below is not dealing with the issue at
hand - these people popping into your lives uninvited. I can relate - bunch of games designed just to torture you and your kids. I would totally go for the jugular to end this once and for all. The hutzpah of these people to sit in front of you and not talk to you at YOUR kids' Christmas play! Good Lord. I would go to a lawyer, any lawyer, and pay $100 or $200 bucks for a cease-and-desist letter, stating that they are NOT to attend YOUR kids' functions as they are not invited, etc., and are causing irreparable harm to YOUR kids. There will be those who chime in that this is a free world, etc., but its NOT a free world for grandparents to screw with your kids' minds. YOU are the parents and are in charge of your kids' welfare. Its a school, and its PRIVATE in that regard. Any old bum off the street cannot attend when it is AGAINST the wishes of the parents of the children in the play. As Dr. Phil would say, take your power back. Put YOUR foot down as their mom and draw the line forever. Your kids and your husband need you at this point. Go for it. I did years ago, and have never regretted one day WITHOUT my sick inlaws. My kids are in their teens now, and just last night were sitting around talking about the sick games that their grandparents used to play, and how happy they were that we put an end to it. Go for it! Let this be the LAST CHRISTMAS, or last day, ruined by these creeps. And I love the analogy someone gave below - your kids are nothing but Christmas turkeys for them to play with - do NOT fall for the tales of woe and love. Baloney!
Honestly I think I am dealing with both issues with him (sm)
I think he has a girlfriend and a drinking problem
wait, we could be dealing with an islamic hubby
 different strokes for different folks, eh? like Muslim husbands and that culture and other cultures that think differently than most Americans do...
My own (ancestral) culture, i.e., how I was raised, insists on 2.8 kids - too bad for most of the family that I was (and still am) such a rebellious renegade...that the sound of the *different drummer* just ALWAYS spoke to me since teenage years louder than other things, and I heard and I listened, and I still do decades and decades later....(thank goodness for this!!).
Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
nothing is open
I would take her to gynecologist...seriously.
Open minded
Others might see it as straddling the fence. If you are an adult and don't know where you stand on the question of god/spirituality/religion, then you should not respond to postings and criticize others' beliefs. If you truly were open minded, you would read, learn, think, decide, and respect others' rights to do the same.
yo, please open up your brain.....
 
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
....here. Maybe the windows will be open if it's
s
I was reluctant to open this...
for fear of the unimaginable...Thanks for posting this adorable guy! AWWWW
I had open RNY in May...Best thing I ever did.
Happy, sexy, healthy! Merry Christmas to me~!!
Actually he can open the refrigerator-
so what is the answer now? He is a smart one, gets out what he likes, the ham, the chicken and just has a feast. Next answer.....
OMG! Get a dictionary and open it up
as
i would open the dialogue
ask lots of questions and listen. Personally i have seen such things. I have had dreams that gave me information in a supernatural way. but what he is saying could be as he says it is, or it could arise out of fear or some other emotion. so again, let him talk and listen. I would not make it into more than it is, or minimize it either.
Never had enough to open a store...sm
But have bought and sold on ebay for over 10 years. Love it.
If the store is still open....
If you have a big platter or can get a throw-away one, make a nice cheese and cracker platter and put a bowl of grapes in the middle, that way you'll still have something to munch on while playing cards, or before dinner as it sounds like dinner is going to be sparse. Throw a couple of boxes of cornbread muffin mix (quick) into a large baking dish and bring corn bread. Everyone loves corn bread. Monkey bread is easy to make with a couple of rolls of those prepaid biscuits and recipes are all over the net for it, simple. Or a fruit platter with a dip in the middle. My brain is tired and the stores are closing. Unless you want to bring a ham but you'd be taking a chance on ruining her menu, after all,you are the DIL! Good luck with it, drink some Slim Fast first! Happy Day! While you're playing cards, something simple is "Scoops" with salsa. Just happen to have them in your trunk. Hurry up, it's getting late, maybe the drug store is open or a 711.
I'd pop it open and get a fork. nm
x
I'm an OWL - I always sleep with one eye open
ROFL!
go in with open mind
that is what i did with my first....I couldn't decide if i wanted one or not....after about two hrs of contractions i knew i wanted one but since it was a small hospital had to wait until 8 hours later but still got one. I have had more children since then and i defintely had the epidural....so my suggestion is go in open minded and decided then...no need to make a full decision now
If you have no choice to open up the door - sm
just say that now is not a good time for a visit and to call before coming next time (because you work from home and cannot just drop everything when someone pops by)(add that on if you chose to). They may not like hearing any of it but tough cookies. If you are out of sight, just don't answer the door, if it happens often enough maybe they will think to call first next time and you can again say no, or to nip the visits in the bud say you are quiting that church and to please stop calling you. I am in the boonies and get the occasional church groupie visits of various faiths, I just tell them "not interested" and they go on their merry way without a fight for the most part. Good luck.
Surely you dont think they would open themselves up for
hik
PS: How to open image gallery - sm
The webside is kind of jumbled & a little hard to read.
1) Click on one of the thumbnil photos displayed below the title near the top of the page.
2) A new page & larger photo will appear. You can bring up different years, camps, etc. by typing them in, or just click on the little black 'GO' box to bring up a pageful of thumbnails.
3) Then click on any thumbnail you wish to zoom in on.
Nuts..wouldn''t open for me. nm
s
oh, and open windows to air out home...
gotta change that air sometime........LOL
and when windows are opened, central a/c is off....
gotta be careful with mold/mildew.....which thankfully have never had in 30 years in s. fla....
have been for 30 years - tho do open windows
to listen to the birds before the world arises...but now we don't have to - they're chirping at 2 a.m.
LOL
I got a card at Christmas that I did not open
and put in a drawer- so no not everyone wants a card. The poster needs to mind her business and cool it. I would be totally put off by a popping in to see me, taking a dinner over for me, etc. etc. I think the mother said new mother does not WANT to be bothered. What is so hard to understand about that? Lots of people are worn out after giving birth and want time to recuperate. The poster made to do about her friend not accepting calls while hubby home and she does, and so? The new mother in her own home makes her own rules and the rule she has for right now is not seeing any people or talking on the phone, her wishes.
I open up my checkbook and look at the Ɔ' balance --
*
And if you open it up for her to teach them her way, then you are opening it up to all (sm)
That means people who are homophobic or racist can also teach children their point of view? There has to be a line drawn somewhere.
You need to read this and with an open mind
Some important points from the article:
1. Circumcision is not a benign surgery.
2. The U.S. is the only Western nation that surgically alters its males.
3. Genitally-intact Europeans are often very amused to hear the notions circumcised Americans have about the normal human penis.
4. The European medical community condemns the U.S. for a practice they call a barbaric violation of human rights.
5. Europeans believe that males have a basic human right to an intact penis, a right to keep the body they were born with, and a right to body ownership and autonomy. For them it is a question of respect and dignity.
6. The foreskin plays a large role in sexual function. When sexually aroused, its lips expand and unroll over the glans. The glans stimulates the foreskin, and the foreskin stimulates the glans.
7. The foreskin has glands that produce a natural moisturizer and lubricant called smegma. Smegma serves the same purpose as tears do in the eye: it keeps everything moist, clean, and lubricated.
http://www.menweb.org/histcirc.htm
You know, most of the time I am very open minded, but
I really have a few things to say about that.
I don't expect people to give up their culture when they come here, but they shouldn't be allowed to FORCE it on everyone else.
I have my own culture and so do the rest of you. Comments like that trying to sound so PC upset me because we are expected to give up our culture to pander to those who cannot adapt and overcome.
We live in the USA. It has a nickname. It is called the "Great American Melting Pot". Hello? Do we not know what that means? Yes, every race in religion in the world has been welcomed here. What happens to stuff when you put it in a pot and boil it? It blends together and turns into something different. How can it be a melting pot when everyone wants to retain every single aspect of their former life? That was not the intention of the founders of our country.
That said, I will tell you WHY it is wrong to expect someone to understand another person's culture. My great grandparents came here from Ireland and Germany. From the time they got here, they were expected to obey the laws here, regardless of their religion or what they did back in their old country. They were expected to learn English--and they did those things. It is an insult to my ancestors when I see people come here and EXPECT to be catered to. My ancestors worked very hard. They only got what they worked for all their lives. No one provided them with an interpreter every time they went to the store, the bank, the post office or the doctor. They also had holidays others didn't understand and had native languages that others didn't understand. It was reserved for home use.
Do I usually complain about ESLs? NOPE. If they are actually trying I give them a break. Some of them that I have been transcribing for years have actually improved tremendously. Others, you can tell don't care if you can understand them and they have continued with the same issues for years.
I would not go to a foreign country and expect them to understand my culture, my religion, my customs or my language. I would expect to learn theirs.
Being politically correct is a lie. If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck and quacks like a duck--it must be a duck! I will not call it something else to make someone more comfortable.
I could not open the link, so I post this......
Q: What is the safest kind of fish to eat?
Farmed trout,
wild salmon,
summer floundern,
blue crab
are the fish with the absolute lowest mercury content. The most dangerous?
Shark,
swordfish,
king mackerel,
tilefish,
tuna.
Most doctors I know prefer women that are open....sm
and not trying to act like someone they aren't. Just treat him like a regular person and hopefully you'll have a great time.
Yeah, if they are old enough to tell you to open your blouse because they are hungry
they are DONE with breastfeeding. Really odd.
search for *open-ended* MRI places
Open-ended MRI imaging centers is what you need to look for. We have plenty here where I live (Florida)...but MANY people cannot stand the long narrow tube to lay in for hour(s)....just like me! So, keep on searching for open-ended MRI centers!! *S*
Hey Jan - You can also open a free account with photobucket.com
You can upload any pictures to that and then change the size. After that you can copy it onto the avatar secton here.
Hugs sue-ellen
Still keeping the windows open, even at night
Here in So. Indiana, we are finally past the heat wave and really having some enjoyable weather.. but are still desperate for some rain. Won't even thinking about burning any wood in the stove until December.
45 here; heat on or windows open today? (nm)
My family takes pictures of the open
casket. When my dad was still living and someone was showing these pictures, he would go through and take them out for me because he knew I could not stand looking at them. When he died, my mom had pictures made and had a copy made for me. That was 12 yeras ago and to this day she still has those copies, I really don't want them. She even had us stand by the casket and had pictures made (her, my sister, and me).
At 9 months old, the baby can't open doors, so...
what we did with my son in my house was close all doors to contain him in the living areas, thus, away from bathrooms and other potential hazards. Then, all you have to do is baby proof the main areas.
If you're talking about the open letter
to MDI & other companies using VR, it is the 3rd flame down on the company board . . . should've been on the comedy stop board if you ask me . . . LOL!
Question: Why would she leave the garage open?......
Isn't that dangerous?
You mean that her husband can get to his stuff without ringing the doorbell?
Nah....
Anybody's hubby went through Open Heart Surgery and can't get out of depression?
I seem to be having a big problem with mine. He wasn't too bad after surgery, but since then, there have been a lot of house problems. i.e., water , septic system problems, roof leaking, my car not passing inspection so down to 1 vehicle, etc., etc.
He feels he cannot handle it anymore. He'll sit in our garage for hours on end doing nothing, but knowing he should be doing something. Yet, everything he does lately, does not solve a problem and he winds up doing something else for the same problem. It never bothered him before except ot get him mad he didn't do it right the first time (does anybody understand what I'm saying here?). He's feeling very "old" and incompetent but nothing I do or say is getting him out of this depression.
I'm afraid for him but don't tell me to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist...he would never go. He's losing interest in eating, too, and even fixing his favorite foods depresses him because he thinks it's not made the same.
Anybody have any suggestions? I don't know what else to do lately. Thanks fo the help.
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