On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily

If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset.  Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel.  As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.

I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.

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The reason I ask is that I am in a very unique situation. I have a family member (an in law) who basically hates me. She and I have sort of been at it on and off for 8 years. She's a very mean person, very judgmental, hates everybody. I mean, seriously. It's bad. She rubbed off on me for too long. We were friends! I used to point and make fun at others ONLY when around her. When I finally caught on that she was not a very good influence and that I was so easily pursuaded by her meanness towards other people (backstabbing, etc), I began to keep my distance. And she caught on. Now she hates me. For no reason, really, other than I don't call her anymore, don't hang out with her anymore. And here lately she has been doing evil things to me like returning cards I've sent to her family with a giant "return to sender" on the envelope, getting her sister against me (I mean, come on, how old are we??), etc. She will be at my mother in law's for the holidays with her kids and I am cringing inside.  In fact, just today, I received a nasty email from her when I got home saying some pretty mean things, calling me crazy, insane, etc. which I know I'm not, but it hurts anyways to hear stuff like that.  She has a very hard time forgiving people, I've seen it over and over in her life, and now it has come to the fact that I need her to forgive me in order for ME to have peace in my life. It's just the kind of person that I am. I am totally willing to look past all the mean things she's done and said the past year and try to move forward positively!

So, fast forward. I've written her an email basically BEGGING for her forgiveness and saying I'm sorry for whatever I've done to hurt you (I know I've hurt her by not wanting to be around her,etc), and told her it wasn't good for us to be on the outs like this.  I am pretty sensitive (if you can't tell already), and I really, really, really wish she could get past all of this and just forgive. We all need a little forgiveness, don't we?? What do you think? Why is it that some are so easily forgiven and others will go to their grave filled with HATE? I don't understand it one bit.

I'm not saying I'm any better than she is. I know I'm not.  I just don't have an evil vein in my body to not forgive people and I HATE when others talk about others behind their backs. It's mean. I grew up around that stuff and once I reached adulthood and realized that I didn't need to talk about others to make myself feel better, I hated being around it. Give me some advice.  Should I send the letter?

Please help me. Would you send it? She obviously needs love. What would you do? Would you just tell her to forget it and move on or would you be like her and hate back?

The OP was complaining of just barking.  I was complaining about a lot more than just barking.  My mother is 64 y/o, widowed, and suffers from MS.  She has a right to be able to walk in her yard without worrying about the neighbor's dog knocking her over, barking at her, tearing out her trash, or getting under her feet and making her fall. 

I understand that it isn't the dog's fault but no matter how many times you call the Sherriff or the humane society.....nothing is done.  They still have the dogs and my mom still deals with it everyday.  She has no rights whatsoever to keep her yard animal free and she has to live like this. 

I personally feel that anyone should have a right to shoot any stray animal on their property.  If pet owners aren't going to be responsible enough to keep their pets in their own yard, they have to live with the idea of someone shooting their pet.  I don't like other dogs on my property.  I don't allow my dog to go off of our property. 

My dad is a teacher in California (I live in a different state) and has had 10 days per school year cut from his paycheck. The vacations are also longer during the school year as well. I don't understand the whole new office furniture purchase from your superintendent, but it sounds like your school system is just like everywhere else. Government-run systems/jobs have all had to make cuts, and schools seem to be the first that get screwed. All of the changes he has made probably stem from mandatory cuts he has to make to save money. Each school is going to be different how they implement them.

My husband's parents work for a government college and they are having the same problem with money. The college laid off so many people to save money. It is sad, but nothing can be done when it comes to mandatory cut backs. Hopefully things will change in the future, but it sounds like they are floundering to find ways to save money anyway the can.

Tired of the commercials advertising products for feminine odor?  I just heard this again several times yesterday and it is degrading.  If anyone has an odor bad enough that you are offending others there is a simple remedy . . it's called soap and water.  Is it me, or is that disrespectful to women?  Why don't we discuss some of the more delicate matters regarding men on TV?  I could name a few. 

Is it fair for me (with no education in teaching) to try to teach my child, die, and then expect my child to do well as an adult in this society?  No way.  Let them live and learn as I did.  Homeschooling, in my opinion (again my opinion) is like the MA and PA days where there wasn't enough room at the schools or there weren't enough educated teachers coming in on a wagon to teach the children on the prairie. 

I'm glad my kids go to public school.  The high school I attended had a lot of kids that came from private school because the high school was vo-tech, so the parents felt the kids were getting better than public school.  Those kids that came from the private schools knew more about sex and drugs than I did growing up in the public school system.  I guess their parents had the money, and I guess the kids felt penned up, I don't really know the cause.

Never would I expect my children to go out and get a job or even survive one minute in college without an education from a school system.  I don't care to hear about home school curriculums either because I'm focused more on the socialization.  I don't want my children to be introverts or homebodies!  Let them see the world for themselves and for what it truly is, a melting pot, something to be experienced, a beautiful thing, and to avoid negativity at all costs, but to experience some just to learn from it.  JMO.  P.S.:  Thanks for listening.....

I have a 10-year-old son who is overweight, and for me personally, I would want to know if he is eating 4-6 donuts such as this girl is doing.  I just think your approach would make or break it all.  If someone were to approach me, I wouldn't mind at all, but I don't get really too offended easily especially if I know it is the truth.  Chances are, this girl's mom knows she has an eating problem.  I'm sure she's not just overeating on Sunday's.  But then again, maybe it runs in the family and if you did say something, it may not go well.  In my family, only my son is overweight, not my other kids nor my husband or I.  The doctors have told me it is just genetic.  But for me personally, I would want to know because it is not healthy and we try and work with our son about being healthy and making right choices for himself. 

Here's a though, how about letting the person in charge on Sunday be aware and then he/she can remind the kids to only take 1 donut each, that way everyone can get enjoy them.