Older lady here, some insight maybe
Posted By: Joan on 2007-07-06
In Reply to: Husband so disrespectful (in & out of bed) am I overreacting? sm - Anon
I have a friend whose situation is 100% like yours. She does not care for her husband, tells others she doesn’t and is so turned off by any actions he takes such as the dirty talking, the fondling (which she says gropping), etc. I have heard this before from her as you are talking about. My friend also wants to withhold sex like you, tells me her hubby is complete turnoff. On the other hand, I am so much in love with my husband and he talks dirty and loving at the same time and I love it. If he wants to hug, kiss, whatever, I am right on the same page with him. He is probably the dirtist talking man I have ever met and love that also. No one else would ever believe me because he is very shy and quiet around others. I feel your situation is a direct result of how you are feeling towards your husband in the first place. If you truly loved him, I do not think his actions would be that repulsive to you. Probably if you could and wanted to salvage this relationship, starting with marital therapy might work but do you really want this? I see you and he as being in a standoff and that is not a good thing for any marriage.
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My older girl, Emerald, walks around like an old lady but
where I used to live we would get small mice (well, had a couple of big ones also before) and you would not think she could get up any speed but she sprang into action and was everywhere getting the mouse. At an ungodly hour 1 morning my hubby shouted out I just LOVE that cat and when I asked what in the world was going on, found out she had captured and killed a huge rat! He later on bought me the most precious gift I have ever gotten, came home with 2 brothers, black and white kittens who have grown into the more gorgeous boys. These 3 are so joyful to me. By the way, looked at the exotic cats on line before but after reading watch out when you open doors, even though they were beautiful, would hate to pay that much and zip out the door. My kids tell time also, every night around 8 when time to get off, they are right at my heels meowing. They know it is treat time.
Just a little insight --
I quit writing in my diary when the real stuff started happening. I don't think my mom ever read my diary, but when I started dating, I quit writing. I figured a paper trail probably wasn't a good idea. I did, however, keep a box full of love letters that probably would have given a very accurate timeline of my romantic escapades.
As for your situation, it sounds like you know your daughter pretty well. Just watch her mood swings, etc, for signs. You'll know when -- my mom definitely knew.
Some insight
The information provided about the time-consuming paperwork, etc. probably should be a hint to the rest of us that those people who choose that way of life rather than work have reasons other than laziness for living that way.
Kind of reinforces in my mind that our society needs to do so many things differently and realize there are even more important things to be taught than math, reading, and science.
Bless you for having to raise 6 kids! :)
i appreciate your insight
im glad you pointed that out... it is about him for sure, i like that he is enjoying himself.
i suppose i just hear so much about 'GREAT' sex... i just feel like that part im missing out on, even if he is not?
when i said i dont physically respond, i didnt mean i dont act like im enjoying it (and sometimes i am enough)... i meant... like the actual ... i dont really want to be graphic, so i just meant i dont physically get excited... like what happens when you are being sexual. sorry to be like a little kid, i just dont want to sound dirty!
yes i have thought about seeing someone... didnt know if that sounded dumb :(
so thank you
Thank you for your wonderful insight
I'm just sorry that it's coming from personal experience. So much of what you say does sound like my son. I have definitely zoomed in on the impulsivity of his actions. I had brought that up to the child psychologist and he said that it's something to watch to see if he grows out of it. I'm not expecting that to happen. I manage the best I can and it's from day to day. When we go places, sometimes its good and sometimes not. It seems when we all go together, it doesn't go as well. I'm guessing because he's not getting as much of the attention as he would like.
I'm curious how you feel about the injury your son is doing to his siblings. I feel so guilty and sorry for my son's actions towards my other children, but how do you deal with that? I don't want him taken away from us or locked up, but yet I know I need to protect my other children. He doesn't act out all the time. In fact, this week is the worst he's been all summer.
No alkies on either side of the family (thank heavens for small blessings). Although, I do believe there is some bipolar or other type of mental illness on my side of the family (aunts, cousins). I got some real kooks for relatives. I've mentioned this to the child psychologist also, but he doesn't seem overly concerned about my son's actions. He almost acts like it's something he will outgrow or something that can be changed through behavior modification. I'm not that optimistic. I personally think it's just my child's temperament. He's always been difficult, even as an infant.
Well, I can't deal with this anymore tonight. I'm off to bed. My son is having a sleepover at his great-grandma's tonight and I'm sure he'll be fine. She says she "don't take his sh!t and he knows it" I wish he felt that way about me. At least I can count on a peaceful morning tomorrow! Thanks again for letting me know I'm not the only one. It helps more than you can imagine.
need some insight into son's behavior
I wonder if anybody has any insight into my son's behavior and performance in school. His dad and I have talked until we are blue in the face and we have also left him alone and have given him space regarding his grades. Neither causes any change. He just keeps telling us he doesn't care about high school and that it does not matter. He has no respect for the teachers (not many of them take teaching very seriously, in all honesty, so I can't much blame him for that) and he doesn't feel like he should try since they don't.
This is a kid who scores in the 98 to 99th percentile on standardized testing. He is SO smart, friendly, outgoing, quick-witted, and for the most part respectful. He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs. He plays guitar in the praise band at church. He is a good kid, but he just refuses to do his school work.
This has been a struggle for the past 4 years of high school. He is supposed to graduate in May, but the last 9 weeks report card came today and he got 2 F's, a D and a C. The 2 F's were gimme classes, believe it or not. If he doesn't bring those up to average a passing grade he won't graduate. It makes me sad, confused, frustrated beyond belief, worried, just to name a few emotions.
He says he thinks he has ADD but I think he just WANTS to have it so he can have a pass, so to speak. I think it could be some deeper problem, like our family dynamics, playing a role. Does anybody have any ideas on how this boy can be inspired to rise to meet even the smallest challenge?
Thanks for your insight I hope he continues to - sm
get better and has no lasting liver damage. I will just have to keep an eye on him and if I see worsening (i.e. jaundice), get his butt kicking and screaming to the doctor.
Thanks for your insight when buying a house
I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much. I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling) but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it.
Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for. I have not a clue. 
My gut feeling tells me that they need to come down. I saw the new house they were moving too. It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home. DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.
Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh" Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger.
I think I'm going crazy - need some insight (long)
Okay so I have been dealing with this issue for awhile, and I need some opinions, ideas, anything to verify that i'm really not crazy...
I feel like I have two sides. I've been married for two years, and I love my husband and know I'd be devastated without him. I love our little house and our circle of friends and everything that comes with married life. We are young at 23 and 26, but I've never been bothered by that.
But, there is another side of me that drives me crazy. It's the side that tells me to run for the hills, that this is as good as it gets, that from here on out life deteriorates. I don't know if I'm just freaking out because I realize I'm not getting younger or what. My parents never had a good marriage (they were divorced when I was 5) and they were married about the same time we were (except my dad was almost 15 years older than my mom).
I constantly feel like these two sides are battling it out. One minute I feel all wifey and considering kids and all dutiful housewife/MT, the next minute I'm freaking out just wanting to go grab a beer and party it up. Is this normal at my age? Is there something wrong with me?
My husband still enjoys going out every now and then, but not like we used to when we first got together 5 years ago. I think he's starting to want to settle down, and maybe that's what I'm afraid of. I don't know if I'm ready to just fall into a routine. I always thought life would turn out to so much more than that. I always thought my life would be exciting, spontaneous, filled with adrenaline rushes, etc.
On the other hand I absolutely love the commitment and safety I feel and have with my husband. I love knowing that the boy I fell in love with is my man for life (hopefully!).
Any thoughts would be great. I really worry myself sometimes. I really get tired of this constant back and forth in my head, and I feel like one of them has got to win soon or I'm really going to go crazy! I just don' t want to make any rash decisions that I would regret for the rest of my life!
Well at least it feels better to get it all out...
TIA
To all you single woman, can some give me some insight? sm
i have recently ran my husband off after 16 years of abuse, alcoholism, and addictions. i have 4 kiddos by this man and have stood by him and tried to help him to no avail. it has been like another child to raise, not a partner. so it has been two weeks now and i am lonely, don't know why cuz at least i am don't have to listen to his *itching 24/7. everytime we do talk, it ends in arguing. my point is i want to stay single. i am not interested in anyone else, but am lonely. i have always been one to have a boyfriend or be attached. i don't know if it stems for insecurity or what. how do you get over those attachments and move on being happily single and raising kiddos on your own? any suggestions?
Okay, girls, I need some insight here on a personal level. (sm)
I have not had a man in my life for the past 3.5 years. I have tried dating and get asked out all the time, but just no interest in the ones doing the asking I guess. I have a very comfortable life and truly am in no need for a man to take care of me. However, I have known this one particular man for over a year and just very recently our friendship seems to be heading to a different level and for the first time I am very attracted to him. So, the other day he e-mailed me and both of us came clean on our feelings. The problem is that he has had his present girlfriend for the past 7 years...they do not live together and really spend little time together, as their lives are significantly different and when asked why he simply states "it just isn't working out and that he could make more time to see her, but he doesn't"
Okay, so now I know I am going to get flamed, but where do you think it goes from here? Both him and I have a seminar to attend with another man in 2 weeks and will also be staying at the same hotel, etc. and I am just so confused as to how I go about keeping my distance but still wanting him. What to do, what to do......this has been on my mind all day and so has he and I am so not use to these feelings at all....like high school all over again.
I'm older than dirt, too, and older
than the 2 posters below me.
I remember when gas was $.25 a gallon when I got my driver's license and first car.
The first car my dad had was a LaSalle with running boards. After that, he bought all Hudsons and then Ramblers. He never owned a Chevy.
My first car was a ི Chevy, green and White, that my dad paid $12 for (cost of the tag). My uncle gave it to him and was a stick shift. I never drove an automatic until I was 20 and bought my own car with my own money. I paid $1500 for a ྀ Rambler Classic, 4 door (my first 4 door, too) in turquoise blue. My dad was mad because I didn't pick the Navy blue and white stick shift Rambler because it was cheaper.
My allowance was $1.50 a week and to make money, I chauffered all my friends around plus to school and back for $.25 a week.
And, I just turned another year older on Monday. Ugh! Thank heavens, no one in my family wished me HB. I quit counting 20 years ago. 
I had one lady who
said "normotraumatic, acephalic" every report! Must be hard only seeing patients with no heads, lol!
Oil of Old Lady as my son would say
I use Oil of Olay daily moisturing cream for my sons, especially my older one in the winter. He tends to lick his lips and drool a lot and it seems to really help.
FYI Lady
dogs are not allowed in grocery stores! Mine is in his carrying bag not invading any one's space. Oh, lady, I hope you can appreciate life and others some day. Don't waste life on negativity and being narrow minded.
QA Lady-
I read your post again and I see you think she a is a gold digger. No advice there. My father's wife is too, but he never supported me. His $ is just like stranger's $ to me.
I don't know how I would react in your situation. I would probably try to talk to him. She might try to cut you off if she sees you as a threat. *sigh* Men never think with their brain when a woman is involved.
You are one angry lady!
I'm not sure what your problem is.
I'm not the OP, but I can certainly tell you that every doglover in the world has the right to have their pet in their own space. Not in mine, though.
Public places that are not designed for dogs include shopping malls, etc. (except pet stores where that is the entire focus of their business).
Perhaps a dog is the only thing that can be nice to you with that attitude of yours!
Calm down!!
Lady in Red? Did she sing a really
useless song...I can't remember her name either. LOL!
Pink Lady, how are you doing hon?
I haven't been on the board in a while but I wanted to stop in and check on you. 
Just north of me. The lady I had
charged me $65 every other week for 2400 sq feet minus my office cause I do it myself. I also tipped her. She spent about 3-1/2 to 4 hours here.
All other quotes I am getting from individuals are a little higher than that but I would rather pay more and get better service. Some agencies want around $130. I found one that quoted me $70 to $87 but could not get out to give me an exact estimate until a week later so I am waiting to hear back from the ladies I emailed on Craigslist to see if they can come this week.
I talked to some lady who said she has had them...
for 20 years. Lord, I hope not. I found it helps if you wear cotton - no polyester, rayon, etc. Also, for night sweats, I keep fan going in room and use 100% cotton sheets, blankets, etc. Sometimes my inner child is just playing with matches - other times she brings out the blow torch! Good luck and hang in there. We got the periods and had the babies - the guys REALLY should have gotten the hot flashes.
Lady, you seriously, seriously have to get a life. nm
nm
A lady I know tried to pull this
kind of scam years ago. Her neighbor turned her in and she never even knew it. Still doesn't as far as we all know.
Her neighbor (friend of mine) called L&I (industrial accident supposedly) and reported that she was lifting, driving, going to the kids soccer games, driving them back and forth, doing yardwork, even waterskiing. She told the insurance that she did not want to be identified because they lived next door so they sent a private investigator to watch her for a few days. That's all it took.
Lady and The Tramp
The way I understood it, the tax lady was.....sm
saying that she thought he was "slow" because he was black and blacks are not given the same opportunities as white people. I would be mad. She was more or less calling him dumb. I can't stand people who want to put down people of other races. God created all of us and Heaven is not going to be segregated!!!
lol - you are 2 much, church lady!
LMAO
I once saw a lady on TV with MM breasts
It was on Geraldo or one of those back in the talk-show boom days about 15 years ago. She was size MM and it was really gross. They looked like they would burst at any second.
I worked with a lady who
had the same problem, she always had her hair cut short, but the top was poofy and you could read print through it. She finally got extensions and you would never know, but this seems like high maintenance. She is in administration and has to look her best at all times. (me, my clothes are wash and wear and so am I).
to the lady with hot hands
Sorry I have not responded. Been busy for a change, lol.
Thanks for the kind words. I actually am not on any medication right now for the RA. I switched rheumatologists a few months ago, and because my bloodwork was so very mildly positive and because I am hypermobile, they decided to see what would happen if I were taken off my Plaquenil. Proud to say I stiffened up after a few months, but my blood work is still not showing much inflammation, even though my rheumatoid factor has increased.
I also decided to not try any of the other medications. I know, it sounds risky and perhaps even stupid, but I just got off some harsh medications for another condition and I am kind of bucking the system. Because I have not had a flareup (that I am aware of, and i think those are hard to miss) since I stopped the medication, I am going to play it by ear, see what happens.
I did find out last week that my thyroid has finally tanked, and have started Synthroid for that. Poor thing was tested so many times and never came back abnormal.
Anyhow, I would talk to my doc if I were you about all the autoimmune disorders, have them run some blood tests and see if anything shows up. Here is another tip I have just learned - both with thyroid and with RA - even if your blood work shows up negative, if you have all the clinical symptoms of disease/disorder/syndrome "x", they should consider treating for it. I waited at least three years for a diagnosis on the RA, and my main symptom was the feeling yucky and sick but not sick all the time. It just had not shown up in my bloodwork until about a year ago, and by the time it had, I wasted a lot of time being tired.
Oh, also check your vitamin D.
Sorry so rambly. Good luck
HC
I am sure the Avon lady above would
xyz
This old lady has to rant about a rather SM
unimportant detail noted on AOL, among all the other unimportant details. I know this isn't important, people might mock me, call me names, say haven't I got more important things to worry about, what with our economy in trouble, violence in the Middle East, that crazy woman with the 14 babies, but....
THEY ARE REMAKING BONNIE AND CLYDE, ONLY ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER MADE, AND THEY ARE MAKING IT WITH HILARY DUFF AS BONNIE!!!!! HILARY DUFF!!!!!!
I suppose Clyde will be played by Justin Timberlake, although from what I have seen from Justin, that might not be bad choice.
the floating poo lady
x
You said ever been without a child, lady
she had 6 before she got pregnant with these! Do you not understand why people are up in arms like they are? I do not want to take care of her kids through my taxes and I am sure others feel exactly like I do. I think all the children should be adopted out. This woman is nutty as a fruitcake. She deserves nothing through her website. She is talking literally about breaking the law when she says will use student loans for the children. What do you not understand about this broad? She has major mental issues. You go ahead and cry for these children. I along with others totally ticked off and I hope some heads roll with the mess. I had 2 children. I knew I could not afford more. I did not bring an extra child onto this earth to have to struggle and not have what I could afford to give them. I raised my children without food stamps, welfare or the like working several jobs in order to do so and give them what I thought they needed. This charade of a mother cannot start to do even the bare necessities. I feel disgust and turn the TV off the channel when I see something coming up about her. She is really sick.
you are one smart lady and sm
willbe rewarded. Now you can use that money for the decorating and yes that is the fun part!
Can I ask your age (botoxing lady)
Just wondering and wondering if you are happy with your surgery results? Can they do arms without leaving noticable scars? I always wonder how those older actresses can still wear sleeveless and look decent.
I have mouth parenthesis. I'm guessing I would have to use some sort of filler for those since botox can't be used around the mouth.
I think we should have all come with drawstrings!
For my vacation I have a lady
who comes over once a day to feed and water my 3 cats. I would rather have them here at home where they are comfortable than leaving and going to be caged up while I am gone. This is on trips hubby and I take. On trips I made alone hubby is here every other day and he gives extra food and water in between the days he is home. Of course he always gets calls most every day wanting to know how they ate, did they have their "treats," etc. They give me so much pleasure and I want them to have the necessities (and a few treats, their toys, etc., etc.)
I saw a lady on one of those makeover shows and
she had her hair cut into a really great style that made her two tone hair look really trendy. They did put a third color in her hair. She had longer hair than you but perhaps you can have the same thing done to yours only shorter. They layered her hair.
Lady - get a grip. You want me to apply because
you "dare" me to? Your weird and out of touch with reality.
a little story to share - a lady I know here
She went out on one date with him - went back to his place where he got nasty, grabbed her arm and threw her across a room and she ended up with a fractured wrist.
My experience with online dating is it doesn't work 95% of the time - a bunch of men online who seemingly cannot *cut the mustard* in real time are not going to change just because they are online.
Yes, I have seen folks meet up online and marry and I have seen twice as many marriages/relationships break up because of people meeting others online.
BE_VERY_CAREFUL_PLEASE!!
one lady quit over my list
she was offended and said she knew how to do her job. I was a little upset at the moment and said if I was good enough to pay on time and tip consistently why could I expect my cleaning to be consistent.
Oh well my house is dirty I am exhausted and I will spend my day off trying to get caught up and start back still exhausted.
then just a simple cleaning lady?
OK, I gotcha! I'm thinking about doing this myself...my hubby just got a hefty raise, so hopefully I can afford to pay someone to clean my house now!
Lady, you have got to get a life! Seriously! You probably waited
all day for a response like this just to justify your hate and meanness. You need serious, serious help. I am not kidding!
This lady was stunned when she found out
what her daughter had done. It was an accident that the doll was out there. I talked to her personally so I guess I do know most of the facts.
True, yet the lady still could have suggested since it was
the LITTLE GIRL she was dealing with when the mothers back was turned that it was worth more than $2.00. It really sound like the woman took advantage...Again, taking candy from a baby. That's my point. Such a shame.
That Lady Lumps tune...
was the cell phone ringer tone on Michael's cell phone in "The Office" show there. Darned near slayed me the first time I heard it! Now that you put it in my head, there it will be for a good 48 hours or so...thanks for that.
yeah, know a lady with lupus
and not ill at all aside from once when she was diagnosed many years ago and had the rash, etc. Same here, her housing is paid, she gets a check every month from the government, parking sticker; surely the red carpet treatment! Something is very wrong with this country :)
I think this is a stretch and not what tax lady meant
x
You know this lady? Can you give us the real
scoop? A lot of what she says doesn't make sense.
Are you crazy? It sounds like this lady is just
starting off exercising and your talking about trails and going up hills. Not everyone is that fit, especially if she's just starting. And 21 gears - your nuts! Sounds like that takes the fun out of biking with so many gears.
Lady, just get out. You women who vacillate should I or
shouldn't I....grow a spine, do what is best for you and your children and be assertive about it. Life is too short to be unhappy.
You did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself lady! nm
nn
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