Okay, I just teared up reading your posts.
Posted By: trose on 2007-08-09
In Reply to: I turned out really well, thanks to the village that raised me. - unclean
So glad you had that support system. My best friend in high school had a mother with mental illness but she was functioning mainly due to meds and they lived with my friends grandparents. I remeber all the times she spent at our house and at times I could tell she didn't want to go home.
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After reading the below posts sm
I have to laugh. I have HP and have no trouble at all. It is the same thing with kitchen appliances. Have mostly GE and am not happy but many surveys say GE is one of the best.
I have been reading all these posts sm
and debating on what to say. Bear with me, this could be long. My mother's mother lives in California and has all my life. I live in Virginia. I havew seen my grandmother exactly 5 times and I am now 40. My mother died unexpectedly 3 years ago (she lived here and was extremely close with all her grandchildren). I knew that my mother and grandmother did not have a close relationship but they did love each other. The night before the funeral my father and I had such a long wonderful talk. He told me then that he never ever heard my grandmother say anything positive, not even anything nice to my mother. He wasn't trying to critize my GM but was just stating the facts. Two years ago my parents (dad and stepmother) decided to take each grandchild (4) on a separate vacation. My daughter really wanted to go to CA. Not necessarily to see her great-grandmother but wanted to include that in the trip. My parents asked me to go along. We flew to San Francisco and drove to her home about 3 hours away. Now keep in mind, my GM loves my father and thinks he put the moon and sun in the sky. We were only going to stay in her town over night simply becuase the woman is not enjoyable to be around. She has a very tiny home so we decided to stay in a hotel. My GM asked me if my daughter and I would like to stay with her. I did not want to but my stepmother really thought I should. We arrived and after spending some time at her house trying to show her pictures of the other grandchildren (she really wasn't very interested) we took her to lunch. I tried to talk to her about the likes of my other child as well as my nieces and what there life was like. She just kept interuppting and changing the subject. Mostly about my brother or to talk to my father. As we were leaving the restaurant my SM pulled me aside and said that we should definitely stay at the hotel. My GM has no other family except my brother and I. I still call her every week but the conversations are always the same. No interest in my life. My son's 17th b-day is tomorrow and he got a card from her yesterday. It was pink and covered in flowers. This is not a woman who I want to spend time with and never have for multiple reasons. I could write a book. Please don't "make" your children go. There are obvious reasons in their minds and you should respect that.
After reading some of your posts,
it sounds like maybe he just wants to stay married so he can keep you under his thumb. I'm sure it's better for him financially if you stay together and he has someone to do the household chores as well. As for asking for sex via email, that is creepy. But, I would still wonder whether he is getting somewhere else. I think men would still continue to ask, just on the off-chance that you actually would say yes, but get it somewhere else, too. I'd be afraid of what he could bring home. As for the kids, I agree with the other posters. The kids will pick up on this, but sadly enough, they will grow up believing it's a normal relationship when it's not, thus the generation-after-generation epic of divorce. That's just my opinion, though, and I'm certainly not an expert.
Now, back to you, I'm sorry that you're not getting any with someone who loves and respects you. So often, it is just assumed that the woman doesn't need/desire intimacy, when in all honesty women crave that intimacy even more than men. It's not necessarily the physical aspect of the intimacy that women crave, but rather the emotional. The fact that he asks for it so bluntly via email on a daily basis is his way of degrading you. Don't let it go on any longer. I would be headed straight to the divorce lawyer's office. Many women have been through divorce and made it through okay. You're children will support you once they see how much happier you are without him. Good luck to you. 
Okay, after reading the below posts sm
I know the Steelers are playing but who else is playing?
After reading all of these posts, I realize
How lucky I am!
My ex, and my hubby's ex, were both people who always needed to be in a crisis...and if there was none, they'd create it.
Luckily, after we'd both divorced we found each other. We have a peaceful life, and my inlaws and his inlaws are all great people and it's a joy and great fun when we get together.
I give thanks to God for my good fortune!
After reading your 2 posts below in addition to this one...
You need to get OUT! In time the kids will know what is going on either way, married or divorced. If you husband has been physically aggressive with you before, who is to say he's not going to have enough of your turning him down one day and come home aggressive again?! I'm worried and I don't even know you. Listen to stories on the news about the women who trusted their husbands implicitly and then one day something snapped in him - don't let that happen to you. Besides, do you want your kids thinking his behavior is a healthy one. Consciously or not, many children model their future marriage skills after their parents. I think you should seek individual counseling and advice from a lawyer. Commonly the first visit does not cost you anything and they will tell you what type of retainer fee they need so you can be working on that. Also, when (hopefully) everything starts to get in motion, get your kids in counseling too. Early is better. Don't wait for problems or issues. A lot of kids are very good at hiding their feelings from their parents. Finally, I must say, as controlling as your husband sounds the only reason he wants you to stay around is financial. Men talk about these things, my husband had told me. You will make out just fine. He'll be the one writing the check - oh, and you can request that it go through the court so you don't have to see/talk to him about the money every month. Good luck to you. Go with your gut. Be sure to let family know what's going on too so they can keep their eyes open and help if needed.
I posted before reading all these great posts and guess what?
I had said almost word for word what everyone else said. I would not give a rats behind what she thought of me, in fact if something had killed my 3furs I probably would have strung them up myself. How you can be so I don’t want to hurt her feelings, crap- I would call the police, I would get some kind of action if I had to do it myself. I keep my loves in my home always (in my neighborhood animals are not supposed to just roam free) but I would never be able to sleep, eat or anything knowing my babies outside. Everyone posting here apparently are of 1 mind, basically we have said the same thing. If a dog kills another animal, likely then to turn on a person. I could care less what someone thinks about me- I would call the police.
I was just reading the posts last night and missed it last week. It was not that I SM
trying to fight. I reads the other posts on that subject, and the moderator is correct. SOMEONE kept the back and forth up, but NOT ME. I am about done with this board, as this has hurt. I know that sounds dumb, but it really does. I sent you a VERY supportive reply today when you said you are trying so hards to quit. I wished you luck, but it was deleted. Now I am a trouble maker. I am shaking I am so upset about this.
Can't be that. I stopped reading your posts to her awhile back.
She laughed a lot, but it was making her vomit so I had to stop.
Thanks for yet another one of your brilliant brain dumps. They're much better for the tulips than the horse manure we were buying.
geez after reading all these posts I feel like I'm missing out on something good! LOL
I'm assuming you buy these toys online? 
totally teared up
how awful! Thank you for making me aware!
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
If I'm reading right
then it makes perfect sense to me. He does not, no how, no way, no matter what happens, want anymore children. She "would not mind" having more children, but is willing to not have more children because of his wishes. However, should something happen, God forbid, to her husband or their marriage, she potentially would like to have more children.
Not sure why she wants him to have a vasectomy, but if I did read it right, it is his best insurance policy (short of abstinance) to ensure he does not get what he does not want. However, you are correct that there are other ways to avoid pregnancy, but sounds like the OP just wants her husband to be happy (by not getting what he does not want).
OP, I do agree with the posting that suggested you should not have scheduled this for him while he is of the mind set of not wanting to have it done. My husband just did have it done (our youngest child is 10 years old). After our youngest child was born, without my suggesting it, hubby had said that he would have it done because he felt that it was the right/fair thing to do. After all, I had gone through the two pregnancies/childbirths/breastfeeding, etc. While I appreciated the sentiment, he did not follow through with it until he HAD to. He had a varicocele that was causing referred pain up under his arm, which prompted him to see the family doc, who did not diagnose the varicocele, but after attempting to clear an "infection" (a "knot" in his testicle) with a couple of rounds of antibiotics, eventually he referred to a urologist.
I have not been able to take hormonals for years due to headaches and other problems associated with them, and had had an IUD placed, but had to have it removed the following day, so we had been using condoms for most of the 10-year time period (and even THAT did not prompt him to go ahead and have it done, after it was his idea to do it -- men can be such babies . . . LOL).
Because of the varicocele, he had to be put under and the surgery was a little more extensive than the normal, in-office procedure, and hubby has come through just fine. Yes, there is pain involved, but I imagine there was a little bit of pain involved with birthing your babies. I think he should "be a man" and just do it.
you might be reading too much into this
I have two daughters currently undergoing orthodontia treatment and their docs (brothers) either call us that night to see how they are feeling after their treatment or send a personal note. Just very friendly, caring orthodontists. They also have an office full of pretty young ladies and are both married with a bunch of kids and lovely wives. They are just very nice guys.
Could be that your orthodontist is just trying to be a nice guy. Don't embarrass yourself by reading too much into what could be an innocent effort to make your treatment time more enjoyable.
Currently reading
"Cross" by James Patterson, next on my stack of 10 new books is "I Heard That song before by Mary Higgins Clark. I'm an avid reader - can you tell??
Only just reading this, so very sorry.
I lost my little man kitty Dante, it has been almost 2 years, I've been thinking about him after reading all the supportive messages above. I was just telling my daughter yesterday that I think it's time to go to the Shelter and find a new little kitty to love. The value of their company cannot be measured. God Bless, take comfort in all the good days you had together. I'll say a little prayer that your heart does not hurt too much or for too long.
Wise
Reading this over and I think
your aunt does not have the ability to change a will. That is not what an executor does, that is not the position to change what is in a will. If you and your brother get anything at all, I think you should be glad because you were only taking the place of your father, his own child, as your father is demented. I went thru a similar thing, my father died and I had a deceased brother. The insurance company was supposed to divide insurance between the children of my deceased brother and me as they were taking the place of my brother. After a year's time they could not find them and they sent me the balance of 1/2 of the insurance fund. I am thinking perhaps with no changes made prior to the demise of your grandfather, that money perhaps might go to your father and hence like you do not want it to go, to the state. That would not be good for any of his entitled heirs but you might have an uphill battle with lawyers, the courts, etc. in this case. You can break a will and if lots there to be gotten, then probably can take this course. The aunt should already have hers coming, is that not right so I doubt with her telling the power of attorney to get a lawyer she is trying for more, only she does not have the authority to just break herself.
I don't know... From what I'm reading on other
sites, people are so tired of Adam's monotonous exact screams in every single song that the Danny voters will probably swing to Kris, so it could be up for grabs. AI has a message board too.
Thanks, after reading your post...sm
I decided I am going to call and speak with the manager first. Yes, I was supposed to go back to the same girl today but I changed my mind. I am going to explain the situation to the manager and ask if I can come in another day when this hairdresser is not there for a fix by someone else.
Ladies, please after reading your
posts you are sounding like a bunch of feuding school aged girls. What in the world is your problem? Retract your claws and be friends again, ok?
I did a lot of reading before Thanksgiving
when we made one - it was rather small - just for the 2 of us - and it turned out perfect. Husband likes very rare and we knew we would have a few slices left over which we would then microwave so wanted them rare also. The best advice I can give is to buy a good thermometer and take out before it reaches the temp you want for rare, medium or whatever - as it does continue to cook for a few minutes outside the oven - which surprised this old cook!! It actually rose 5-10 degrees (cannot recall right now) and that can make a huge difference in a small prime rib - I was shocked! :))
OK-what is your fav book or what are you reading now
My very favorite book is Outlander by Diana Galbadon and I am current re-reading the second book in the Outlander series, Dragonfly in Amber. I would like to reread all 6 of them this summer, but Harry Potter is also coming out, so we'll see. They are all huge books.
I loved reading this. sm
I also read it on the Comedy board and shared it with my Bible School class. Will share wtih my adult Sunday School also.
I have really enjoyed reading all of these.
Thank you for all your help.
Thanks everyone for sharing - still reading, lol. sm
She has had her "permit" and has been driving with me (and siblings, lol) for a year now. I have let her drive as much as possible because I too feel like one poster said about the more experience the more comfortable and responsible. My sister got killed in a car wreck at 21 so my DD is very aware of how panicky I am about letting her drive and myself letting go more than anything I think. She has been an excellent driver (while I am in the car that is). We do live in a little country town so she would not be allowed to drive into the big city with major traffic for a long while by herself. She has driven there 2-3 times with me and on her first trip I allowed her to drive to town, someone rear-ended us!! I laugh now though because she didn't know what to do at all. We were at a stop (red light), the lady hit us about the same time the light turned green, and DD proceeded to go with the greenlight! I was like hmm, what are you doing? She didn't realize we had been hit as she was proceeding to go when we got hit. It's funny after the fact because no one was hurt, just minor fender bender, but at least it was a learning experience for her and was not her fault.
My SIL's mother owns a Mexican restaurant close to us and will work around her schedule to allow her to work when she can so she does have the capacity of getting a job if she can ever have time to work. She has helped there temporarily on holidays a few times already. I think she will have some time this summer though as cheer practice is usually over at noon and she will just have to save up to pay her bills.
I kind of feel I should cover her with how hard she is working at school and activities, but don't want to "spoil" my child and not make her appreciate it and not learn responsibility so I want to make her be responsible for something. Of course, her 16-yo friend got a brand new, off the show room floor Mazda RX7. That is parental ignorance in my opinion and aint happening for my kids even if I could afford it. I can tell you one night they didn't get home from a game until 11:30 p.m. on a school night and I was livid. She was up until 1 a.m. studying for her semester exam the next day!! She is very dedicated, but that is ridiculous. Our local community college gives the entire top 10 a full paid scholarship so that is why she is encouraged to make the top 10 and pushing really hard towards this goal. She is already taking some college classes at school (combo classes) including A&P as she wants to be ultrasound tech and that is a tough class.
I have checked into ins, which is out the roof, but they also deduct points based on good grades, etc. so I want to at least make her partially pay for this so she will be encouraged not to speed, keep the grades up, etc. and realize it will all save her money by doing so.
Good tip though to let her drive home and to school. That is one thing we don't do as it is so routine she doesn't ask then and I don't think about it. You are definitely right, that parking lot is crazy and makes me never want to let my son drive when I see those teenage boys spinning out in the parking lot. I'll start letting her do that. Thanks again everyone!!
This happens with my sunglasses as well as reading
and I know what you are talking about. I think the haziness comes from either touching your face with the lens part or maybe your breath. I usually just take mine off and then put back on. Has nothing to do with the price you paid.
Summer reading
I'm currently reading a great book on Einstein. It was published in 2007, after all of his papers finally became public. Author is Walter Isaacson, and it's called: EINSTEIN - HIS LIFE AND UNIVERSE. He also wrote BENJAMIN FRANKLIN - AN AMERICAN LIFE, which I may read next. Funny how as one gets older, fiction often is less interesting than real life.
Many, many people were involved in getting the details of Einstein's life and the science right, and even HS science teachers were brought in to bring the scientific explanations down to high school level so we'd all have a chance of understanding it. It's 551 pages long, plus an additional 125 pages of credits! It starts out with a few pages describing the "main characters" in the book. I'm just getting started, but I can tell it's going to be fascinating.
I have been reading your story...
My heart goes out to you. You have been through a lot of anguish. I think the fact that you are trying the best that you can shows that you are going to make it through this.
I agree that at first your husband should be the one to set limits, but there is nothing wrong with watching him and learning from him, so that you can take baby steps to establish limits (of course these should be abided by both parents) too. Not only for your daughter's sake, but for your sake too. She needs to respect you too.
Good luck. I hope the best for you and your family.
Tell me what you are reading this summer
I love to read. Anything and everything.
But!
I lost my reading muse awhile back and can't seem to find it.
And!
When I had it I almost read 24/7.
Nora Roberts/JD. Robb, Bea Small, Linda Howard, Karen Marie Moning, Janet Chapman, Kristin Hannah *old books*, and many, many more.
So, what you're reading, what you've read and what you want to read.
Just gained 5 lbs. reading above sm
Hash brown recipe simply scrumptious, I use crushed potato chips for the topping. I once used grated parmesan cheese (the kind you put on spaghetti) instead of grating it myself and it was absolutely delicious (expensive) but so easy. I also make a carrot cake with the crushed pineapple and use 2 jars of baby food carrots instead of shredding. (Lost that receipe someplace.) Just call me lazy, I guess. Gosh, now I have to go and stuff my face. You all make it sound so good, I can smell it cooking!
I have been reading extensively about this
and from what I hear, John's religion more or less bans anyone with any kind of mental disability, autism or others and this is the reason for the other diagnosis of Kawasaki's (spelling) that the Travolta family said he had for years. Apparently seizures go along with autism and the other diagnosis they do not. Also scientology apparently is against doctors and medicine so if having seizures, people are wondering if he really was on antiseizure medicine. I also have heard the child basically shunned by his family also, fed fattening foods while the family ate healthy and just sitting in front of a televison to occupy. There is video on Google of this 16 year old being walked around with people holding his hands, right and left and this is a recent video. Supposedly 2 nannies around the clock, baby monitor in his rooms, etc. and the police said he injured himself on Thursday night and no one discovered him until about 10 hours later on Friday. There is a lot of information out there. They have 2 people doing the autopsy today. Very strange to me that with his all around care, no one checked on him for all those hrs the police said he was unaccounted for.
one glucometer reading does not
constitute a valid diagnosis. Get a different doctor. Work hard to lose the weight. and get some insurance! Don't waste time being sad, take control!
After reading your post and all of the other
posters' comments, I would give you the following advice...
Tell your friend 'A' that HE is alwlays welcome into your house, but SHE is not.
If 'A' invites you and your husband into a restaurant and SHE will be present, decline. You BOTH have to decline, this counts also for your husband.
If 'A' is alone, you both can accept the invitation.
Are you reading what you post?
You're complaining about someone else's grammatical mistakes and then when someone points yours out to you, you become defensive. I'd worry more about getting kicked out the meeting for your rudeness than getting banned from an anonymous board. Imagine how that poor woman must have felt being corrected by you, most likely in front of others. No matter how "nicely" you may have worded it, it was rude, and even though she didn't seem to notice your rudeness, I'm sure others did. You seriously said "balls" in a meeting to her? What were you thinking?
From reading your replies....sm
I don't think it is the breed. I think it is just these 2 little gremlins. I am just not used to a dog acting like this because all the dogs I have ever had never acted like that. Which I had never owned a boston so I said I don't know if it is the fact they haven't raised them properly or if bostons are just all like this. I believe now they are just bad owners since you all have bostons and they don't behave like that. I know my sister has 2 but I am not around them enough to know the dogs really well but my mom is and she said oh no the minute they start acting up they go outside in the fenced in backyard or to the kennel in the utility room and she doesn't have to do that often either. SO they have pretty much learned I guess if they want to stay in the house and roam freely they have to act civilized.
I was reading that just from "gravity" sm
and if you are overweight it can do it. I noticed a couple years ago taht when I just sit anywhere with my legs down for any length fo time, they drive me nuts. I don't have the kidney, heart, liver failure the other poster suggested. I have read that with age, weight, etc etc. this can happen. Just wondered if anybody else had this problem and what do they do about it. I worry about PAD and all that. It clears up really fast when I am not sitting so I know that is good. Think I will try the socks though. Right now I have one leg on the table and the other leg down! Great position huh? At least I can still get the leg up on the desk!
Reading this message is sad
If you knew about the possibility of having dementia in your mother and possibly subjecting you to same, why in the world would you ever think about having another child and running the risk of the child not having a mother by the time they are a young teen? That is sad in the fact of you writing a note just in case you are not in a mental state as she ages so she could understand. How old was your mother when she had to be put in a facility?
From reading the whole thread, I now feel
very sorry for you and your family. I wish you had posted all your thoughts at the start. You are honestly one of the lone MTs who work at home for - no reason other than to stay away from coworkers, really is the sum of your logic. You obviously feel children are worthless burdens, along with housework of any sort, or caring for your family. So go out and earn the big $$ - guess you couldn't hack competing with the men in the corporate world. Obviously. Seems a pity, as you get to sit at home and hate everything related to home and family, while other poor humans drag their tired selves out the door every morning to earn a living, counting the minutes until they can return home, exhausted, and catch a minute or 2 of their kids and family life before passing out from exhaustion. Such is life...
I miss my kitty after reading all these...sm
I lost my 17 y/o calico a coulpe of days after Thanksgiving. She was my day to day companion, sitting on my feet and my foot pedal, head going up and down, up and down, seemingly not bothered at all. Once in a while, she would wake up startled, look at me and meow as if a question of "what did you say"? I would tell her to go back to sleep, nobody said anything and rub the back of her neck. I miss her sooo much. I have other kitties but she was my long-term friend.
Reading about possible side effects,
I can see why you might feel anxious. Do you usually tolerate medications well, or do you tend to react oddly? Not that that is a big help. I know most meds work great for me, but even low doses of Topamax were bad for me in a sneaky way.
Tough choice. Do they know what is causing your occipital neuralgia? Sorry to hear you have that!
I am reading about all the pets we have in our lives
and hearing about the tragedy that has come our way, especially today. I know how much your animals(s) mean to you as they mean the same to me. I would ask all of you, not only the ones who have lost their friends and family today, but also the rest out there to consider an adoption from the humane society. There are a lot of anmals we can give good forever homes to. I give a donation each month to the humane society as well as take my newspapers there because they shred them and use for the animal beds. There is a little life out there waiting for a family, think about it.
I'm reading Shopaholic and Sister
Love the Shopaholic series. I know it's not very educational or compelling, but I can relate to the Shopaholic, cause I am one myself. I like lighthearted chick lit. Helps me escape from own boring existance.
Of course! Just don't eat or drink while you're reading
s
I should have stopped reading after the first paragraph.
Is this funny? Maybe I've had an easier time of being a woman. I can even pee in the woods without soaking my socks!
I have bifocals for reading & typing, and although - sm
I'm perfectly fine driving without glasses, I have some driving glasses, which just makes it a little easier to read street signs from distance. It's to correct astigmatism. I could also have gotten trifocals, but someone I knew with them said he had them and never could get used to them. I also chose the bifocals with the line, rather than the lineless ones. There was supposedly a good reason, although I don't remember why!
Here is what comes to my mind after reading your post.
Are you sure you are not favoring one child over another and he senses this or is imaging it - that would be difficult to articulate for a child. Being a first born, he may have been center of attention for a while and then had to share it to his siblings - always hard on a child. If he does not have a disorder that is chemically induced, I would consider that as tantrums are an attempt for attention. Communication is the answer. I'd suggest one on one events with this child alone on a regular basis. You will gain his trust so that he can express what is making him so frustrated. I feel for you. I watch the nanny shows and am always amazed at how difficult life is in a house when the family is unable to live in harmony due to out of control children. You'll have to not stop until to find a solution, for everyone's sake. Good luck to you, mom.
Have any of you been reading the Politics forum?
I wonder if anyone has been getting any work done.
Thanks for reading through my jumbled description SM
of this outright display of abuse and injustice. Did he ever think of walking away from the cat instead of beating him to death? It was revenge toward the girlfriend, pure and simple. Just another example of how a beautiful innocent animal had to pay the price. Thank you for commenting and overlooking my errors. I was literally in pain over what I had just heard.
OMG!! I have cried a river reading this...sm
I am a softie for dogs anyway, and I especially have a special place in my heart for pit bulls and beagles too. This goes to show what wonderful dogs a pit can be. I am not surprised at all that this dog did this because a pit is one of the most smart, loving, feeling dogs you could ever meet. If they are raised right that is. It is so typical of a pit to risk his own life to save someone in need. This pit who some people claim are dangerous could have very well saved this woman and her son from a tragic end. And then for him to jump in her back seat as if to say please take me home. I just would have begged them to please let me take him home. I am glad to know if nobody claims him she will take care of him now because he deserves it. He truly is an "angel." THIS is why I love pit bulls. Until you know one you don't know the love they are capable of.
You were not reading her state papers then if you think that
I read lots of the newspapers in Alaska during this time and they were ticked off to say the least because they felt they were being ignored amongst other things. Oh, about the nervousness, this was a perpetual thing with her- she must be scared stiff because all her interviews same mumbo-jumbo- no sense. Remember the "I can see Russia from my house."
My arteries clogged just reading that! nm
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