Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
Posted By: tnmt on 2007-11-23
In Reply to: The doctors told us our son was going to die. - Kim
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
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Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
don't remember Minnie, but I remember Kiki! Though I would rather not.
nm
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important.
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson.
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Definitely remember Buffy's Bark. Also had a Bassett Hound and remember his bark(EOM)
.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
perhaps I may have a new calling...sm
old timey comfort food....Been doin' southern style soul food for hubby, but chitterlins I just cannot deal with. He's cooked them over the years in the house and I just absented myself until the smell had dissipated. (Before you ask, that would be Ellie's intestines).
How about lamb shanks and barley with carrots and onions, a little salt and pepper cooked on the back burner on low for hours? You can't find lamb ankles anywhere these days.
Is there a chance that you can just make the liver or stuffed peppers for yourself and air out the house so hubby doesn't freak? He doesn't have to eat it....just throw him a hot dog. Cat
I think i will. I'm going to keep calling the
x
have you tried calling 211?
Most communities have a 211 system set up for all sorts of assistance. I called when I broke my tooth and they set me up with an income-based fee clinic here in town. It is amazing how a toothache can become all-consuming.
211 helps people refinance their mortgages, elderly needing a ride, mental health, physical/laboratory screenings, food banks, almost anything you could need from your community.... give it a try -- hope it helps.
Calling when going somewhere and letting you know
she arrived safely is one thing. Teaching a child that forgetting something once in a while is some horrible thing is another story all together. We ALL, and I do mean ALL, forget things from time to time. I don't care how many lists you make, how organized you are or anything else, we all forget things. It may be a coat, something on our list that we made or somebody's birthday, but we ALL forget things. My children did learn from their mistakes but, once again, not from cruelty, but simply because it was a life lesson. They are both wonderful you adults who work full time jobs and are responsible people. While they had guidelines and rules to follow and knew and reaped the consequences of not following the rules set before them, we did not rule with an iron thumb. We knew they were human and would make mistakes along the way and learn from them. Sorry this was so long, but this type of treatment of children really makes me sad. I wanted my children to know that I loved them more than I wanted to rule them. They still respect me and I talk to both of them several times a week and have a wonderful relationship.
Anyone Want a Calling Card?
I just bought a calling card for work and it screws up the dictation too bad. Would anyone like it for personal use? I can e-mail the number and PIN to you. No charge, just don't want it to go to waste, and we have a cell phone for LD.
CALLING ALL MTS WITH FIBRO!!!
Hi. I am looking for some helpful hints as to working with fibro and how others of you deal with the pain and fatige, etc. Thanks in advance.
Oh my gosh--calling you Ma! (sm)
Wow does that bring back memories! My mother, now deceased, HATED and I mean HATED being called "ma." She used to nearly backhand us if we said it...she said we sounded like bleating sheep!
That is too funny that it grates you the same way!
Keep calling them, they are supposed to pay - sm
for the vet bills, granted that is of little solace but you should not have to pay for their negligence.
Have you tried calling the police?
I live in a quiet suburb of a larger city and the police are very strict about keeping the peace and keeping out the riff-raff. I've been here about 16 months and I've called the police about 8 times. Other neighbors also call. Nothing much gets done because the hoodlumbs are too smart to be caught red-handed. But there's a long list at the police station of how many times the cops have been called to that address.
I think you missed your calling, Cat . . SM
should have been a CHEF!
Did you try calling around locally?
df
Calling all cat lovers - I'm at my wit's end
To make a long story short I need some expertise. My male cat was a sprayer before we got him fixed way back when. Then he decided to pee in our dining room and we took up the rug and put in a wood floor (this was quite a few years ago - cat is 11). Then he proceeded to pee in all the corners of the family room. We just had wood floor put on there and all has been well. Until about a week ago, he decided to pee again on the dining room wood floor, no where else, but he still uses his litter box. I had cleaned it with vinegar and it seemed like the smell went away and I thought all was well until I again caught him peeing on the wood floor in the same area more than once. My husband has had it (he destroyed a lot of things already from when we first got him). He is ready to take him away somewhere. I don't know what to do next. My husband doused the area with vinegar again. Anyone have any ideas? Anything that will keep him away, or any other tricks to get he smell out. Any help would be appreciated. Tonight will not be a very happy night.
One more thing - about calling (sm)
Their leader will not allow them to use the phone to call - period. they are not allowed to call their parents, even though there are payphones right there at the trading post.
Name calling is never, ever acceptable
especially to a child. That is the kind of thing that will stay with him forever unless his father apologizes and has a little talk with him about how daddy was wrong.
hubby name-calling
Too bad the child in question didn't say 'go look in the mirror and say it to you'...i know, that's is a childish response but NO WAY your husband should think calling a child horrible names is acceptable. I wonder if his parents talked to him that way when he was a child...makes one wonder...
Hubby should apologize to that baby. Mom, just explain to your baby that people should'nt say bad words to other people; and always let your baby know that he come to you at ANYTIME...perhals this sounds simplistic but it's sad that adults (OR ALLEDGED adults) think its okay to tear down a child's self-confidence this way!!
Keep calling the police and s/m
You can get restraining orders for longer than 10 days. The initial one is always temporary. She needs to see an attorney on top of the cops. It sounds like the cops are sympathizing with him and not doing their jobs properly. The cops can verify how many times they have been called and have come out. This is what the judge needs to issue the restraining order. I would keep calling the cops and documenting EVERYTHING. This is about the only way to get him to stop. You need to do the same. It sounds like your dad has either a serious mental problem or is just a kid that never grew up and needs to get over himself. An attorney can get you more information on the restraining order, but the first time he violates it, you need to call the cops. Who cares if he takes off? The cops have an OBLIGATION to go and check it out. If he is a habitual offender of violating it, they can make him wear an ankle bracelet to track him. There are things that can be done, but only you and your mother can make it happen. You can't just sit back and take no for an answer. Be strong, otherwise you'll be dealing with this the rest of your life.
Have you tried calling your doctor and
explaining the situation. Maybe he will write you a prescription and then just get it filled WITHOUT using your insurance.
Sheesh yourself, and why the name-calling? sm
Just because someone disagrees with your opinion? The point of the CDW poster is that if you are tracing "life" back to conception, you are including those fertilized ova. Just like test tube EMBRYOS.
The post below about calling a professional - sm
restorer is a very good idea. My only idea would be to actually soak them and then gently peel them apart and dry them by laying them flat on toweling. It could be done this way, very tedious and time consuming but I think you'd be able to save them. Someone who does their own printing too may have some good ideas as you may need some sort of photo solution too to soak them in. Good luck.
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