Not your fault sm
Posted By: gemini on 2009-03-16
In Reply to: Been in your shoes - Kathleen
There is a program on called, "Intervention" and you may or may not get it in your area (on cable). It is a very sad but true reality show that deals with addiction. You didn't do it to him. He has this "go" factor in his brain that makes him want the drug more than anything else in the world and he will lie, cheat and steal to get it. If there is free counseling, get it or call NA and ask if there is a program you could go to yourself to learn how to deal with it. You can't go to AA for drugs unfortunately because they'll let you know right off the bat that it's for alcohol. There may be programs for multiple addictions you could attend. It all depends what tools you have wherever you live. Don't cushion his fall and don't be an enabler. I had to cut myself off from a brother I love dearly but he has to learn that I won't give him money, won't take his BS stories or anymore schemes. When I saw him last, I cried, he looked awful, but he did it to himself, the drug rules. There are many online chat rooms and I think if you Google "Recovery" or 12 step programs you may want to go in, sign in and just listen and at least get some feedback. You did not cause it and don't think for one moment you can cure it. The only one who can help your son is God and if you believe it, some power higher than himself. But he has to want it more than the drug. Intervenion may help. Don't enable him or he will reach a tragic end. Most of all, take care of yourself.
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He is 100% at fault.
He agreed to park it on his property and it was stolen while on his watch. End of story. Yes, your husband perhaps should have taken care of things before he drove off for the night, BUT your BIL agreed to keep it for him. Yes, as the poster below stated, it is really no different than if he borrowed your car and it was stolen while in his possession. I would not let it go, they are plain out and out wrong. I do not understand how people sleep at night when they treat others that way, family to boot!
I truly hope you get something resolved. Good luck to you.
It's not the dog's fault
Why would you call them stupid dogs and then say you can't shoot them?? and you have a dog of your own. It's the pet owner's responsibility. The dog's don't bark just to annoy the neighbors. The owners should take responsibility or they shouldn't have dogs.
s
No....it isn't the dog's fault.
The OP was complaining of just barking. I was complaining about a lot more than just barking. My mother is 64 y/o, widowed, and suffers from MS. She has a right to be able to walk in her yard without worrying about the neighbor's dog knocking her over, barking at her, tearing out her trash, or getting under her feet and making her fall.
I understand that it isn't the dog's fault but no matter how many times you call the Sherriff or the humane society.....nothing is done. They still have the dogs and my mom still deals with it everyday. She has no rights whatsoever to keep her yard animal free and she has to live like this.
I personally feel that anyone should have a right to shoot any stray animal on their property. If pet owners aren't going to be responsible enough to keep their pets in their own yard, they have to live with the idea of someone shooting their pet. I don't like other dogs on my property. I don't allow my dog to go off of our property.
it's not all his fault
My dad is a teacher in California (I live in a different state) and has had 10 days per school year cut from his paycheck. The vacations are also longer during the school year as well. I don't understand the whole new office furniture purchase from your superintendent, but it sounds like your school system is just like everywhere else. Government-run systems/jobs have all had to make cuts, and schools seem to be the first that get screwed. All of the changes he has made probably stem from mandatory cuts he has to make to save money. Each school is going to be different how they implement them.
My husband's parents work for a government college and they are having the same problem with money. The college laid off so many people to save money. It is sad, but nothing can be done when it comes to mandatory cut backs. Hopefully things will change in the future, but it sounds like they are floundering to find ways to save money anyway the can.
hospital CEO's at fault too
Nurses not work when they are tired? Hospitals need to hire enough nurses so that won't be forced to work when they are tired- ARH nurses in our state are on strike right now fighting for this. about the Quaid babies, I agree the meds should be in totally different colored bottles.
You are saying to make up when you think not your fault?
I have done this before, a relative got very angry with me years ago and I told them if I could visit again I would never say anything to upset them again- if they said the sky was striped I would say, yes it was- that is what I had to do if I wanted to see them so I have done that- now having said that- he is upset about the fact he thinks I took his money and told me so. Why try to make amends when it would never be right in his eyes- he still feels slighted. An apology from me would not change his perspective on my having
so called cheated him out of what was due him.
Except FL has no fault divorce. Everything is 50/50.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
And it's not their fault you offend them.
But--this is another reason. It was very nicely explained, and yet the arguing continues. Sometimes you just need to state your opinion and move on. There are some you just won't win. Like this one--or the puppy mill one. Somtimes people just don't want to hear it, let alone hear it over and over again. Just step away from the situation.
how did i even imply it was his fault?
I was asking if it is something that can be worked out. Obviously this is my only long-term relationship. And what gave you the impression I "go out all the time". First of all I don't drink, at all. Secondly I NEVER went out until 2 years ago because he was in the Marines and I just stayed home all the time waiting for him and being worried... but you sound a lot like my mom, like if I am not married and popping out babies by the time I'm 30, I'm a total failure.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
I meant before now- you sound like it's my fault
I mean I have never gotten in trouble before this. Yes - I work for an extremely strict company - if you are late more than 5 minutes twice in a 30 day period, it counts as an absence. I missed one day last week for my daughter having strep; prior to that I had missed one day in 7 months due to child illness. My employer says you have to have someone else to watch your child when they are sick
And I bet the divorces weren't her fault, either.
f
It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
x
maybe it's the post office fault.
x
No, NOTHING makes it the woman's fault, BUT....
I don't think the woman has anything to do with whether a man cheats or not. Period. End of Story. Spare me the long sob story about how the woman *never put out* for her man.
That said...
If a person who has been cheated on just sits and lets nature take its course, almost always they are vindicated.
If Princess Diana had just let Charles be Charles, he would have become and STAYED the laughingstock of Britain. And she would have become Queen. (Okay, maybe not Queen, but she was then and is still an icon in Britain, and he would have never recovered from his cheating on her).
In looking at the John Edwards scandal - it's very similar. Elizabeth never did anything wrong. If she continues on that path until her death, ultimately John Edwards will probably NEVER recover politically speaking.
When you do the RIGHT thing instead of the convenient thing, you will ultimately be vindicated.
I also disagree that it is never the woman's fault.
I do not know what your circumstances are, but there are a lot of wives out there whose fault it is that their husbands leave them.
There is something I would never, never do and this is cheating with a married man.
This is downright despicable, ruining marriages.
I say it's her mother's fault. Supposedly she was stage mom from
!!!!
It was the OWNERS' fault for allowing the dog to run loose.
The fact that you didn't see him and ran over him was an accident. That accident wouldn't have occurred if those people had been responsible dog owners and kept him in a securely fenced yard.
Nothing makes it the woman's fault - not even if she also cheats. sm
Two wrongs don't make a right. Men need to act more like humans and less like animals, and keep themselves under control.
On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset. Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.
I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
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