Not the last couple sharing finances

• Agreed to let hubby have all the refund on the income tax and drat! - Shaking my head at myself!
  • I see lots of posts from marrieds with separate accounts. - How interesting
    • Are you 2 the last to pool your money, probably so - Shaking
      • Not the last couple sharing finances - LinK
        • Just share with me what difference you think it makes - Shaking
  • Well...sm - not me
  • LOL - TravelinMT

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Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not.  It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can't afford these things.  I've had my niece/nephew over for the weekend and it adds up quick.  I would suggest talking to the "leader" of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don't have it this year.  It doesn't need to be said in front of everyone or even in front of your husband.  I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn't need to be present at the time it's said. 

I'm not sure how you do Christmas/birthdays in your family, but in our family, we exchange names for Christmas so we don't have to buy everyone but everyone has something to open.  For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday.  We don't buy for the children unless they are having a party and we've been invited to it.  My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don't always make it to each other's parties for the kids.  Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand.

As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday.  The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused.  He said absolutely.  Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time.  We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn't time yet for new ones.  Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses.  If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in.  The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn't fit a different frame.  So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames.  The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.

But my husband was in the military for 12 years, and he was away quite a bit, so I had to take over the finances. When he was home and he was paying the bills, he would get so upset because he felt there wasn't enough money and "where does all the money go?" "why don't we ever have any left?" was all I heard. I finally told him I was taking them back over because I was sick of hearing that every month. I put everything on MS Money, categorize it, subcategorize it, and add memos, so if he wants to know exactly where the money is going, all he has to do is look.

Funny....he really hasn't complained a whole lot since.

It is always nice to hear stories like this especially when it has to do giving our military folks a reason to smile!! 

ditto...support them 200%...disappointed in the administration but always hoping for a better day..

How precious!  I LOVE orange kitties.  Enjoy! 

My teenage son did something like that, only it was a song that his favorite band (Good Charlotte if anyone is familiar with them) sang and I think it was called Thank You Mom.  He sent it in an e-mail thanking me for all I had done for him while he was little and since he has gone off to college.  I cried like a baby when I heard it.  He also has a My Space page that we can access and under one section, it asks for his hero.  He said something to the effect that now that he is out in the "real world" his hero is his dad.  They used to fight like cats and dogs, so that was nice to see.

So, they do see what is going on, even if you don't think they do, and they do GET IT eventually.

I have an 18 yo son and a 16 yo daughter and this subject comes up occasionally.  So far we haven't had to worry about their drinking or drugging, and it may have something to do with how both our pasts have been part of our teachings, age-appropriate, of course.  We both come from alcoholic families though were blessed never to become alcoholic ourselves, but we've shared some of our expeirences from the standpoint of how they made our lives more complicated.  We strive for simplicity in our family, and they can see how immoral behavior almost always makes for a more complicated life.  At 18 and 16 they both just tasted wine for the first time (other than church) this Christmas and none of their friends drink, or even smoke.  They know their grandmother died of emphysema. 

They also know that my life changed drastically when their oldest brother was born 37 years ago when I was 18, and also that both their father and I have struggled hard all our lives because of not going to college.  For every "but you came out okay" there's the answer that it could have been so much easier to get here had we made different choices, and making the right choices is what it's all about, isn't it?

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