Not looking for sympathy, in fact
Posted By: Vent on 2009-03-01
In Reply to:
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
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No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
The sad fact is, from what you have said (sm)
the dog is likely dangerous not only to cats, but to everyone else, as others have pointed out.
I would do some research with the hard facts about aggressive dogs and make an appointment to sit down with her and have it out. She needs an intervention as she is in denial about a potentially disastrous situation.
The dog most likely *should* be euthanized at this point.
Other than the fact
I have a daughter instead of a son, and we haven't been married quite as long, I could've written your post... I also feel like I'm a hermit now, always was a little shy, but MUCH more so now. I think I have depression now too. I'm 40 by the way. I don't have any solutions, but just wanted to say you're not alone.
It's not the fact that she maybe has a point
in that post, but the fact that she takes every opportunity to jump on any person here who works at home with children and makes broad generalizations about how we do our job and how we don't.
Me, personally, I did this to stay home. I however did not work full time when my kids were babies. There is no way I feel like I could have. I am working full time now that they are out of the house in school. Yet, I was accused of being one of those "unprofessionals."
I agree the OP needs to find another solution, because the one she has isn't working.
The fact that she reached out to you
...is a very good sign. It means that she hasn't entirely given up hope yet. But she needs all the support she can get. I don't know what resources are available in your area or what she has already tried, but she needs to get into therapy immediately and she needs to find a way to obtain her medications and start taking them again. There are agencies which can help with problems like these - you can help her search for them and help her do whatever is required (filling out applications, etc.) to get her going - because of her depression, she may not have the energy to do all of this on her own right now.
The most important thing you can do is to let her know that you are there for her, that she is important to you, and that ALL problems are solvable - maybe not in exactly the manner we would prefer (it is possible she may lose her house) but sometimes a situation that seems so dire at the time may end up having an unexpected, positive affect on our lives. Believe me, I speak from personal experience.
Kudos to you for being so caring and concerned about your coworker.
I know for a fact it was wrong and someone
else who was also devastated when he died because she felt like a mom to him. This is not someone who knows someone either. This is my family I am talking about. I'm not going to put all the details here on a message board, but I am going to say all sources I don't care where they came from are wrong by stating that her mother cared for him up until he was 6 years old. They are false or mistaken. Maybe she claimed to have taken care of him and that's fine, but she did not take care of him for the first 6 years of his life.
The fact they depreciate instead of
what houses are supposed to do - increase in value, is one reason not to. But I had a townhouse I just adored. Lawn was taken care of for me.
It's not the fact that he goes on those sites
My husband and I have used porn during our marriage to "spice things up," and I was perfectly okay with that. The OP is not. This is an area of marriage where I think there must be either agreement or acceptable compromise, or the marriage will not work.
Yes, they should try to work things out before giving up on their marriage. But it doesn't sound promising.
The mere fact
That you ask if you are overreacting means that you, unfortunately, are playing the victim. NO ONE should question whether or not they are overreacting, when in their gut THEY KNOW that in fact they are being abused. You husband has no respect for himself or you....it was smart of you to cut him off from sex, but obviously that has not deterred him from trying to break you down even more. This isn't about sex, it's about power and control. GET OUT NOW.
As a matter of fact, he did.
Actually, a few years later he took the boys, then 8 and 14, because they needed the discipline of a dad. Bad mistake! He'd convinced me he had changed, but then went out to his play rehearsals and band practice every night, leaving the boys at home. I'd sue to get custody back, he'd shape up for awhile, I'd back off, and the cycle repeated until I ran out of money. The boys are grown now, doing basically okay. He's just pathetic now.
Yes in fact one of them is already spoken for
from a little girl that goes to our church. The little girl who owns the guinea pig and bred her has such a love for animals that she would not let them go to anybody that wouldn't take care of them! For her 13th birthday instead of asking for presents for herself, she asked each girl that was coming to the party to bring a gift for a dog or cat and then took them to the animal shelter and spent her birthday giving away the gifts to the animals and playing with them, brushing them and just being with them. She is an awesome young lady!
As a matter of fact -
I love making cinnamon-rasin bread with this same recipe. Also, it's great for homemade pizza and bread sticks - and a lot cheaper than sending out, though maybe a little more labor intensive! Worth it for the taste, though. I've also made fried dough on special occasions. Great minds DO think alike!
Why don't you appreciate the fact that he cooks???
I mean, seriously. You said, "he messed up my good cake pain?" What the he**? My husband doesn't even know here our dam cake pan is. Quit complaining, pull your big girl panties up and either leave or stand up for yourself! Sitting in another room crying? Don't give him that much power. He sounds just as mad as you are. I bet it's not all his fault. I've been married a long time. When one person acts like that they are mad at the other person. Talk to him. Don't whine and complain. Be proactive and leave if it's that bad, although he rented a room to be with you so it can't be that bad.
I don't think your nuts. In fact...
I just noticed my back STOPPED itching. I had an itchy back for the longest time...always rubbing against doorways like a crazed grizzly bear rubbing on a tree trunk, using a coat hanger to scratch myself, bathroom towel, you name it.
I think what was causing my problem was my chair! Whatever the fabric was on it was causing my back to get really heated and probably caused it to sweat and caused the itchies. I have a new chair and it just dawned onto me that I don't itch anymore! Well, I mean aside from the usual wintertime dryness, but nothing like before.
Anyway, it's just a thought. By the way, I'm jealous that you have Valium. Always wanted to try the stuff but no one likes to prescribe it anymore it seems. I just down some cheap wine instead. Works just as well I guess.
Hope you get some relief soon!
No, as a matter of fact
I did not revel. I did not know what to think seeing here there saying that. Unfortunately, I don't live where she was speaking and the news channels did not show the whole speech, only parts of it. I do have to say that now she is putting it out there that her comment was aimed at "gangsta rappers." That can't be factual, or if it WAS, I sure did not see anybody remotely fitting that description in her audience. Why can't she just say, "Woops, I said it, but did not mean it and I'm sorry. That was inappropriate." Instead, she has all sorts of commenters out there blowing smoke trying to CYA for her, trying to twist it and put it into a context that casts her in a better light. Frankly, I am sick of her more than I can say. She should be thankful to live here in the US where she got into a great college when she had a very poor GPA, which would never have happened anywhere but here in the US.
I pray it is not fact ..
I pray it is not fact ..I can't imagine a tabloid reporting such news without a reliable source. I know, I know. They are scum and do bad reporting all the time.
as a matter of fact, it's not so dum...
See, the cats have it both ways. They are predator without truly being prey. Plus, their numbers are great enough that it's conceivable they could impact local populations. And honestly, domestic housecats are "exotic species" to the North American fauna, not a natural predator or part of the normal ecosystem at all. So, yeah, the guy has a point.
But then I'm biased, I admit, because I keep my own cats indoors and I'm aggravated no end with the neighbor cats who come and spray in my yard. :)
You need to reinforce the fact to him that
just because you work at home does not mean you are available for whatever. You have a responbility to your job too and should fairly well set hours as if you were in an office. I have had to explain that to my kids (19 and 14) that just because I am home does not mean "I am at home."
As a matter of fact
 I will be spending Thanksgiving with my daughter (age 39) and some of her friends and we plan to break out the old Trivial Pursuit! Can't wait - it sure beats watching sports on T.V.
It is mainly the fact that the seller will not..sm
respond to any emails. All he has to do is respond and say yes it has been shipped. It leads me to believe he is avoiding me.
We try to buy organic and in fact
going to the local farmer's market today- we buy chicken like that and also hubs likes to get vegetables and fruits like that also. You are right though- the only way is doing your own farming or knowing where they sell organic.
Fact or Opinion
DS is stuck on two questions.
"I enjoy reading books by Judy Blume" Is this fact or opinion. DS says fact, I say opinion.
Next
"My mom loves for me to wear blue shirts" fact or opinion.
I say opinion, he says fact.
I'm confused now because if I were to say that I enjoy reading a certain book, I would consider it fact for me.
What I meant was the fact she was so old
probably was unaware of the video being recorded as she was showing her behind. I am older and on senior trip the driver had GPS and most of the seniors were talking back to it, thinking it was a person sitting somewhere and giving the driver directions, talking to it just like it was a real person. Some elderly folks just not up with the technology. You are right, she should have just closed her mouth. I do not argue with the law.
if you think that the fact that my 1st reaction
to seeing the photo of this dog posted on the board was 'scaaary', gives you the right to take 'actions' against my right to post on this forum, you are**********
You can insert here the worst names you can think of.
I do not know this dog and when the picture came up on the screen it frightened me. This was not what I expected, abd it has nothing to do with being
'immature.'
You have NO right to play forum police here!
It's YOU who is harassing me!
I agree. In fact, I found it fun because
I was 5 and my twin sister had it too, and dad kept bringing home presents for us, LOL.
I love your answer regarding the fact that
she probably won't notice for awhile- it will probably just slip her mind. My adorable hubby called tonight to ask me to take something out of the freezer. He was on his way home, said to leave out for about an hour or so and then I was supposed to put back in fridge. He said, oh, that's all right hon, I know you'll probably forget so I will give you a call back at 5 just to remind you. He just loves on me!!!
What I see on this board is the fact women
really do not accept the fact if you have a hubby who doesn't cheat, google, stray, look at other gorgeous women, or mistreat you - they just do not believe you can have a husband who takes the cake. I have seen it time and time again. I think a lot of women are so miserable in their lives with their husbands and think they have to put up with mistreatment they don't believe it when another has a hubby who is all that! If I hadn't approached my hubby about marriage, I probably would still be a widow. His family thought confirmed batchelor at 49 and he, like I, value each and every day we have together. Raised on a farm, good work ethics, painfully shy and wants to just blend into the woodwork and hardly makes eye contact with someone other than me, very difficult in social places for him but so thankful for this gem. I just wish people on here, if they have hubbys who stray, mistreat them, Google others, whatever know some men just not that way and it has nothing to do with their sexuality...
As a matter of fact I did. I used to agree with you (sm)
but since doing my own research, I've come to the conclusion that it is a bunch of crap.
In fact, I've re-read the first 3 o4 4
already while waiting for others to come out. I really need to re-read the rest because there was one detail about Draco that I didn't remember.
You know the thing I'm talking about? Did you remember that?
I know for a fact that you dreaming of your ex means sm
that you are "yearning" for a closeness like you once felt. If you are married or have been for a long time, when you are neglected emotionally, spiritually and physically, your body goes back to something you once had that was good.
I don't know if it is our subconscience trying to tell us something (like leave your loser husband if he's not doing a thing for you), but it's saying something to us.
In any case, that's what they usually mean.
"I know for a fact" to me screams I am smarter than
x
Me too. In fact, in dresses and tops
I actually need petites to have them fit right. Otherwise there is room for a hunchback in the shirt or dress! But my arms are long, like a monkey.
I'm 5ƌ" with a 33-inch inseam - not sure about the arm length - how about you?
BTW, my inseam is the same as my 6Ɖ" husband's!
Ever notice how men's shirts can be bought by neck and sleeve length size, but all women are supposed to be proportioned the same?
Grief counseling before the fact SM
I am under a lot of stress with an elderly mother who has a grim prognosis. She is 90 years of age and has CHF with another recent hospitalization last week. She is home now, but her doctor called me the day of her discharge and gave me a complete detailed summary of her condition and prognosis. I have been more anxious since the discussion with him, although he is to be commended for his frankness and the sensitive way he handled the situation.
I know counseling is beneficial after we lose someone close to us, but I feel I need some help now just dealing with this now. The only way I can explain how I feel is to say I feel like I am carrying a bomb and not able to put it down. I know what will happen and still not able to prevent the inevitable. The nurse told me last week at the hospital that the normal BNP level is not to be above 50. My mother's BNP this last time was over 4600. The doctor told me the same value on the telephone and told me it almost blew his socks off, in his words exactly. They removed 5 1/2 liters of fluid this admission. She also has chronic renal failure. I am blessed to have her this long, but it makes it no easier to let go. I have such a heaviness in my heart. Thank you for listening.
No! Not offended in the least and as a matter of fact, sm
I never even noticed the imperfections of my daughter's feet. Interesting though is the fact I never realized for the last 20 years that the second toe is longer. Isn't that the sign of a leader? Well, she definitely fits THAT profile :-)
As for the bunions... well, let's just say it's a good thing I work at home...
This offends me, the fact that places can get away with it sm
Yup, I'm a Catholic and I have 6 kids. If not for birth control, I don't mean natural family planning, I mean medical ordinary birth control I WOULD HAVE 12, not 6.
As a matter of Catholic principles, I refused to have my tubes tied, that part is true. But I used birth control of all sorts, BCPs, barriers like French letters and diaphragms, cervical caps, IUDs and the like. I still got PG no matter how hard I tried, so I accepted the children and busted my fanny to support them.
For the record, never been on welfare, but had food stamps for two months when the ex stopped helping support them. It was too much hassle for the $118 a month they gave me and I could make that amount of money in the time it took to go and fill out the papers and have an interview. That alone should tell you something about those of us who prefer to work than take a hand out, and about others who line up for hand out rather than work.
As I have gotten lost in what I was going to say: This just pisses me off! A woman has a right to CHOOSE what goes on in her body, from birth control to abortion to you name it. This country was founded on the idea that we are all free to do as we choose, follow our conscience and NOT suffer at the hands of those who would TELL us what we can and cannot do!
EWWWW!
The fact that the 2 you picked up even mentioned
A long, long time ago, when I had just started working at a new job, a cute-looking guy who worked down stairs would always pass me on the stairs as I was going on my break. He seemed shy, we always just said hello. This went on for months. I liked him, but never talked to him for more than a few moments on the stairs.
Then, one morning, out of the blue, something really weird happened. As we passed each other, I said 'Hi!' as usual. After I was just past him, from behind, he said, 'Watch out, I might just rape you.'
????? Whaaaat.....???? Where on earth did THAT come from? I never spoke to him again.
Well, at about that time, there was a serial rapist in the area who over a period of time raped a lot of women in the nearby hills a popular hiking/jogging spot that I went to often, as well. He'd pick someone tired, offer to show them shortcut, and attack them in the wooded area he led them through.
Well, long story short, the guy I'd been saying hi to every morning at work, turned out to be that serial rapist! A late-20s-ish guy who was drop-dead cute, with an innocent-looking baby face. Boy, were my instincts ever NOT functioning with him, until he made that odd comment to me on the stairway! Before he made that comment, if I had bumped into him out at the hiking trail, I most surely would've gone along with him when he offered a short-cut, and become yet another statistic.
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