Not a grandmother but parent myself
Posted By: Long time MT on 2008-11-24
In Reply to: How dare you say I resent my children - A DD myself
Well maybe you were a little defensive then and not resentful but reading your post it sounded like the things you do with/for your kids were more like chores instead of things you chose to do. I am not a grandparent but still a parent as both my sons still live at home as they go to college. I see too many people who just leave their kids to fend for themselves, 2-3 nights every week and every weekend during hockey season and other sports seasons...sorry if I offended you but that's the way you came off.
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I get sad over my grandmother
Always meeting at her home for the special occasions, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the like. The house is still there but not for long as the city/county/state going through to make a road/street/highway? My cousin has been living there since her death in 1973 and I miss her so much but I asked for one of the glass door knobs from the home for a rememberance and he has that waiting for me out of town. I remember how she always bought me exactly what I wanted or needed. She recycled before recycling, always had anything you needed and could put her finger right on it- I guess if I had wanted a white elephant she would have went right to it. I thought I was so special in grammer school because I always had diamond rings, yes, diamond rings that I just picked out of a container she had at her home. Her husband used to be a bondsman and would take them on bonds- but was I special or not?? I was the only girl grandchild and I always thought she loved me more, whether she did or didn’t just felt like she did. Wonderful memories!
Don't know about mom's but he is like this at his grandmother's also.
nm
As a grandmother myself, I would never want to have
6 much less 14 children in my home, I could care less if my own grandchildren. I love my quiet life. If I want a circus I go to Ringling Brothers. This is a grown woman who had this litter- why should a person say in their 50s at least have to put up with her and her brood?
If your grandmother had a will it is
public knowledge and should be probated through the courts. Your recourse if cut out of a will is to go to court for what you think you are due as her granddaughter. I am reading you, your sister and nephew heirs. What about the grandmother's children (as in your parent, mother or father, you did not say which side of the family this g'mother is) and were there other children?
I am the grandmother who replied above
I really gave some thought to all of your postings overnight. Your attitude is concerning on many levels, but I think the most bothersome - at least to me - is your lack of compassion of another human's right to be treated with respect.
There are about 3 million Americans currently caring for 6 million kin-related children they did not give birth to (outside of the foster care system - and, oh how that system would crash if it weren't for kinship care!). The reasons are myriad, complex and simple. I chose to keep my grandchild out of the foster care system and possible horrors that could be experienced there. I chose to keep my grandchild in the family so that even though the parents could not raise the child, she would not be anonymously adopted and I would lose contact with her forever. She has been able to remain within her family. If I had allowed the state to get involved, there are federal time guidelines that are out of my control and only God knows where she would be today. I tell her she is lucky to have two mommies...a tummy mommy (my daughter), and a heart mommy (me). Will she ever go back to her mom? Only time will tell. The phrase "it takes a community to raise a child" was coined from life experiences, not just because it sounded good in a speech someone gave. No matter how I feel about the behavior of her parents, I always tell her they love her. I do not disparage them to her at all. I am blessed that they return that gift by not denigrating me to her, either.
When I was growing up, I lived for a year with my aunt to get away from a bad school situation. A cousin once came to live with my family for the same reason. These things happened 20-plus years ago, so this woman's situation is not a new one.
There are many reasons that cause someone other than a mom or dad to raise someone else's child. Those people should be lifted up and honored and the people who promote the well-being of the child over what society thinks or their own selfish interests should be applauded. It is not demoralizing society for this situation to exist. These people are doing their best to keep the integrity of the society in which they live intact.
I hope you find peace and compassion on a day when you find yourself in need of support.
Reminds me of my grandmother.
She enjoyed green olives. She said if you go to Spain, they sold them from carts on the street, and she would get them and eat them by the handful.
My additions would be certain kinds of ice cream and chocolate. I do enjoy the sour gummy candy much too much. I bet it's at least as bad for your teeth as cola drinks, so I try not to buy that stuff. Can't stop if I have Milk Duds, either.
Remember my grandmother used to at
age 70 something. No pregnancy involved.
grandmother's passing
Try and be at peace. God knows her heart, OK? You're a good person and you deserve to be comforted. As I said, be at peace.
death of grandmother
Truly a horrible turn of events for you. Two deaths of loved ones so close together. Lean on the one who tells us to bring our cares to Him. It is believed by many that it would be limiting God to teach that this life is the only time that God can call a person to Himself. Second resurrection may be the answer. Also preaching to souls in prison, think about why they would need to be preached to, if these were evil spirits, not human spirits, what good would it do to preach to them?God is a God of love and your family members are in His hands.
Re suicide, no sane person can take their own life. no matter how "rational" they make it sound. Those who do kill themselves are not responsible for the sin of murder because they are so sick.
My grandmother did the same thing...
...insisting that her sister and niece, whom I barely knew and my mother didn't care for, be invited to my wedding. Mom caved, they neither showed up nor responded to let us know they weren't coming. Mom still says to this day she wishes she hadn't given in.
Well if it wasn't for this grandmother
There would be no wedding. Grandmothers are the "chiefs" of our tribes so to speak. I hope the best for this young couple, but it sounds like they're being childish. Let the grandmother invite some people, unless their felons. 
mother of 2, grandmother of 1
My hubby and I chose to have only 2. We got a boy and girl. I am now raising my granddaughter. I am hopeful that I can adopt her soon, and that her mom is serious about not having any more kids . I think one is what you said...plenty of work and love!
Let the other grandmother they lavish
calls, visits, hugs, love, etc., etc. go and buy. I have spent so much valuable time going to them so now tired of it all being on my part. I deserve as much as their maternal gmother.
For my grandmother, who is still active but
on a limited income I give her all occasion cards and stamps. She has told my mother many times what a great help they are to her.
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
my grandmother has Vista on hers and
I don't like that everything is black instead of blue. I could not find anything i was looking for when i have tried to help her fix her computer. Her printer will not work now and I cannot figure out how to uninstall it. I am having her bring it over tomorrow to see if I can install it on my PC to see if it's the printer or her PC. if you like change you may like vista but it will be a very sad day indeed when I am forced to buy a PC with Vista. Luckily I just had this one built in December and they still had copies of XP to install on it!!!
My grandmother always froze her if she was going away sm
it didn't matter how little was left. She once froze some that couldn't have been more than 2 swallows. She also took napkins and sugar packets from resturants.
my grandmother made them, I think
she would change the water to "lessen the strong flavor" and then made a cheese sauce. Roasted sounds good.
A friend's grandmother
A friend's grandma became obsessed with Polident, the stuff that helps keep your dentures in. She had tubes and tubes of it stashed. Anytime you were going over there and called to ask if she needed anything, the answer was always the same - Polident. LOL, oh well, it was harmless, so who cared? Kind of cute. I hope when I'm old and "losing it" that at least I'm cute and not obscene or mean.
of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize.
I just hope for some forgiveness, as well.
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
i lost my grandmother too in almost say way as you are describing sm
this was several years ago. she was 82 and all of a sudden developed pneumonia, which turned into sepsis. i had typed enough reports to know what sepsis meant and her hope was slowly going downhill. she too took a major turn for the worse after about a week in the ICU and nurses talking about her going home in a few days. she was also DNR status. they did, however, give her O2 by mask although i still don't believe it was enough because she was alert and told us she couldn't breathe. they also gave her morphine, which i disagreed with given my research because i read morphine makes lungs fill more with fluid rather than clear the fluid out. when questioning the doc about this, he threw her chart on the floor and said if you disagree with me, find yourself another doctor and walked out! it was horrible! i am not positive, but i do think they gave her antibiotics. we didn't get the chance to bring her home or to hospice though. she did have an IV so maybe there are other guidelines in her DNR/DNI status and her wishes that stated she didn't want them. she remember, she will be in peace soon and be thankful for the times you had with her. although my grandmother was in very good health until her pneumonia took her away from us, i'd rather seen her go like she did than to have a long, drawn out battle with health issues and pain. prayers to you and your family during this trying time for you.
African violets, but my grandmother kept
hers under special fluorescent lights to get them to bloom.
Kalanchoe is another. They sell them even at Walmart I think. They keep them inside.
I'm not an indoor gardener, so I'm not a lot of help, but I'd go to Home Depot and see what they have for inside plants.
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
She said her grandmother and mother were talking...
about her--hardly abuse. I think that if someone raises you, she is allowed a mistake or two--I make them all the time and my son is only 2. Heaven help me if he holds a grudge forever. About domestic violence--violence is bad. I have not responded to that post because I am not sure what to make of it. However, if you post your personal business on this board and do not get the answer you wanted, so what? All of these people will do what they want to do anyway. These are only opinions that are posted and the opinions are only based on the information given, which I am sure are NEVER the entire story.
Honestly, the only part my grandmother
taught me was how to chain stitch. Yes, the blankets i'm making are all chain stitching but that makes them VERY warm and wonderful (and I think last longer). I do have someone at work who said they would teach me how to granny square but i'd like to finish up the current blankets before learning a new stitch.
My grandmother used olive oil for everything, especially for her skin
and when she wanted to give herself a facial, she would combine oatmeal and egg whites - i remember how funny she used to look doing that but that woman had the most beautiful skin. For conditioning her hair, she used mayonnaise that she made herself and to protect her hair during the winter months she used avocado and olive oil - after washing her hair she would as she said ' scoop to goop' onto her hair, wrap it with a warm towel for ten minutes and rinse it out thoroughly. She never ever used soap on her face - she used to tell me and my sisters (there are five of us) that soap is the worst thing for a woman's skin...to clean her face she used cold cream (Jergen's and some other kind I can't recall now) but it worked. As an astringent she used witch hazel with a bit of tea tree oil and for scars which was got a lot being little, after they healed over really well she would have us rub a lemon rind with a teeny bit of lemon on it over our skin - it does fade small scars. I tell you, stuff that grams used worked before all of this fancy schmancy manfactured stuff; and I still use a lot of her ideas to this day..
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My grandmother died a couple years ago.
She was not a churchgoing woman but believed in God nonetheless. As we were setting up the funeral arrangements, the pastor asked what Bible verses my grandma would have liked read at the funeral. We told him nothing particular, just whatever he wanted. She wasn't a churchgoer. Well, this Christian pastor took MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL as an opportunity to tell everyone there that she wasn't going to heaven because she wasn't "born again." I have never been SO MORTIFIED in ALL MY LIFE!!! So, believe me, I have hostility towards Christians who try to "save me" or any of my family.
I am so glad my grandmother's remedy worked for you
I called her my little brown mole- she had a garden and in the summer had such a nice tan. She firmly believed in using the Camphopenique for most everything. I did not remember it being used for mouth sores but learned that within the past year from her daughter, my aunt, when I suffered the same. I glean so much information from my elders- you just cannot beat helpful hints from people who have lived longer than us and seem to know so much. I am glad it helped you!
My grandmother made homemade mac and cheese sm
She died at the age of 93 and I was 27 and I am ashamed to say that I never learned how to make it. She didn't have a receipe. She would also put fried chicken on the stove before church and it would be cooked to perfection by dinnertime. Ask my brother or me what our last meal would be and we both say Mamaw's fried chicken and mac and cheese.
i made a memorial site for my mom for my sister and my grandmother a few years ago. sm
neither were cremated, but mom wanted a memorial. we took a spot in her back yard and made a rose garden out of it. we planted several rose bushes. i got some of those make your own stones from hobby lobby. it is like cement that you pour into the mold. i then wrote in the cement before it dried their names at the bottom and in loving memory of at the top. decorated the stones up with some heart gems. these are in the middle of the rose flower bed. we also got her a covered canopy bench to sit next to it. everyone in the family loves to go there. just FYI there is a rose that is a red and white mixture rose that is called the love rose and this is the very center of our "memorial". i can't recall the name and it was very hard to locate. this was several years ago and the roses are growing pretty than ever.
No! Not if you are not their parent! (sm)
I think that it is better for the parents to tell the children from the very beginning that they were "chosen" and tell them how much they were wanted and how much they are loved. Since they didn't do that, it certainly is no one else's place to do so! If someone slips and the kids go and ask the parents, that's one thing, but for someone else to sit them down and tell them behind the parents' back would be really, really traumatic for them and very wrong!! Please don't do it!!
i am not even a parent, but
i have been blown away by the violent video games, trashy clothes and rude behavior of children and the parents who allow this. kudos to you! what you are doing is wonderful. keep it up.
I am a parent and it seems to me...
that if there are no consequences for her actions, she will more likely do whatever she wants in the future, not think about it and do the right thing. In the real world, she will have to do what superiors tell her to do, or there will be consequences. I think that it is a parent's responsibility to prepare children for that. Of course, I assume that this is an active parent who already speaks to her child and knows what is going on. I believe in obtrusive parenting.
And it should be...why should one parent
bear the brunt of all expenses. It is not too much to ask for the other parent to chip in.
Did you ever think maybe NEITHER parent
Nobody is guaranteed that their parent HAS to pay for their college. It is an option, not a requirement by law. However, if the child got a job and is putting themselves through school, and NEITHER parent is contributing, in Indiana, even if the child is away at school but uses the custodial parent's address as the place they go when school is on break, non-custodial is still forced to pay child support to custodial.
IMO custodial parent should lose that title AND child support when child reaches legal adult age of 18. Then if child support MUST be continued by law merely because child is a student, it should be paid directly to the 18+ year old adult!!!!
I love the ambrosia my Grandmother used to make/beautiful pearls one year from DH. nm
,,
Your doctor says this, but you are the parent
and you are going on the theory that she will not become sexually active nor show up with sexually transmitted diseases up to the age of 17. That is your responsibility, not the physicians to choose or not. There are a lot of girls sexually active way before 17 What makes you think your daughter is different?
I think depends a lot on the parent.
My mom does nothing but preach about how horrible girls are and how she wishes that she had only boys. (I am her only daughter, so imagine how that makes me feel.) Let's compare my teen years with my brother's. Me: Straight A student, preferred books to running with friends, worked from age 14, saved my money, bought my own clothes, received scholarships and paid my way through college. Brother: Drugs, parties, bad grades, skipped school, finally quit and joined army and cursed mom out as he left home. Beyond the teen years, I've been married 23 years to a wonderful man, have three great kids (boys). Brother has three ex-wives and who knows how many children. Oh! And the cherry on this sundae... when I was 16, my brother tried to kill me. Beat me nearly half to death, choked me and police came to take him away. Still, in mom's eyes, he can do no wrong and girls are all evil.
OK. Just a little vent. We all need one now and then.
Noncustodial Parent
Children pay dearly when adults act like this. They need their mom, dad, grandparents, and family members in their lives on a REGULAR basis. Withholding visitation for any reason will come back to haunt the custodial parent one day ... and their children will pay the price.
As a parent of an adopted
child, I would definitely say the answer is 'no" and it is for this very reason that my husband and I have from the beginning talked to our son about the fact that he is special because he is adopted - we wanted to be the ones to tell him the truth rather than him hear it from someone else. This is definitely something that the parents should do and should do so when they feel comfortable talking about it with their children...My son is 6 and he knows he is adopted. He understands that he came from someone elses belly (he's my heart baby as we have told him. We answer his questions when he asks them and tell him just want he asked for - divulging nothing else to confuse him - take for instance at 4 is when he noticed my SIL's pregnant belly and knew the baby was there - he at that point put 2-n-2 together and realized something was up - which prompted us to talk about him being from someone else's belly. Then a few months ago he asked about this other person - why she didn't keep him, what was her name....(yes we were very surprised as our social worker said little boys are usually much older before they really inquire!)...but we answered his questions reinforcing the positives of being adopted because he had brought us so much happiness and that this other woman did love him enough to know she couldn't raise him and loved him enough to give him to us -making us a family! Sorry for rambling....adoption issues usually get me on a soap box sometimes!! Either way the answer to your question is definitely not your place to tell - leave it up to the parents.
Need some advice whether you are a parent or not
Sorry that this is a bit long....One of the doctors I work for is also my step-uncle. He is my step-mother's (been married to my dad for 29 years) brother. He is an ENT doctor and goes to Africa a couple of times a year to do cleft lip and palate surgeries. Each trip is 2 weeks long and has been put together by my uncle and a couple of other christian doctors to also bring the message of christ to the patients and their families. Well, my uncle just called me to tell me they are working on the trip for July of next year and would like to add my son to the team. He will be 17 by then and getting ready to start his senior year in high school. I have often talked about my son on this board and always said he was very responsible for his age. My son, my DH and my uncle have discussed this in the past and my son really wants to do this. He is defintely planning on going into medicine and is a strong christian. I know this is a chance of a lifetime but I can't help but worry if letting him go is the right thing to do. Normally if anyone under 18 goes they have to have a parent with them but my uncle will be his legal guardian for the trip since they can only take a limited number of people.
Here is one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with the decision. My son was at VA Tech on a high school field trip the day of the shootings and this is where he plans on attending college. Since then I have kept a bit of a tighter grip on him. I know he would be devestated if we said no (actucally my DH is all for the trip). Has anyone had any experience similar to this or any opinions on my situation? Thanks.
Another Husky parent!
Wow! A lot of you guys have this breed of dog! They sure are gorgeous! Who is the brown "dude" in the lower left corner trying to sneak in on the shot? Too cute! :)
I have right to my opinion, same as you. Parent job
x
Do think being parent alone protects someone from
x
any parent who ever let their kid idolize her should be.....
nm
were you a single parent
x
Please tell me I am not the only parent to feel this way
I am a mother of 3 children a boy 18, a girl 11, and a boy 5. In my home, driving is not a right of passage, it is a privilege. You must obey house rules, keep your grades up, and you have to purchase your own vehicle. You must also have a job to pay for insurance and gas, as we are not a bank or an ATM machine at your disposal. If you cannot follow the above, umm sorry 'bout your luck!
Am I the only parent out there with children that sees no point in cell phones for kids, especially for the younger ones. I swear most of the kids my daughter's age DO have one and she is 11. Am I one of the few who monitors what their children watch on TV? Am I the only parent that makes their children earn time for video games and then has a set time limit for it when they do get to play? Am I the only mother in the world who thinks its horrible to let your daughter run around in clothing with words across the behind?? Seriously who do you think is looking at this and why do you want to draw attention to your child's rear end? Ooohhh ya and all the parents who sign their kids up for little league things and dump and run. These practices and events are not free babysitting!!! I honestly know of a few mothers that take their daughters to gymnastics and leave them there and go down to the bar and grill and have a few drinks while they wait for their kids!
Okay, so I know it sounds like I am whining, but I have had enough! I am tired of being told by other parents that I am a prude, I need to catch up to the times, and the one I hate most of all is "our kids need us to be their friends"! I have a responsibility to my children to RAISE them.
My children and I all have good relationships. We talk about everything under the sun. They come to me with most of their troubles or questions and know they have nothing to fear, I will hear anything and answer them openly and honestly.
That can be done without letting the "tail wag the dog" so to speak. Are ppl to busy or so self-absorbed anymore to take the time to raise their children?
I see nothing wrong with asking your parent
This was my father and I was his next of kin. You try to make it sound dramatic as if he were dying. He was in excellent health with no medical issues at all. He had no other family members except for grandchildren, nieces and nephews. No wife, no siblings. I asked if I outlived him could I have the property. He lived out of state. When I asked him he did a quick deed, I paid for all insurance on the property as well as property taxes for about 4 years prior to his getting killed in an accidental death. I only wish I had asked my mother prior to her death (being as I was her only living child) if I could have had her personal belongings. I did not get those and should have. I learned when she died not to hold back if you want something. Now really, how would you feel if you were an only child and was bypassed with things that rightfully should be yours in the first place. Even in a court of law, a child comes first before others in who gets what when it comes to things like this. Don’t get on your soap box.
No one except a parent can understand, eh??!! sm
Ridiculous, with just a hint of "gotta-belong-to-my-club" elitism tossed in. Any sentient and compassionate human being can understand the issues, perhaps even better than someone whose judgment is emotionally clouded, and including the travesty that false hope and half-truths cause every day in the medical industry. (Hint: Go stand at the Mexican border where you can collect the sad stories.)
Please re-read my post. I did not suggest that ESC research should not go forward. I was merely giving the rest of the facts about the dismal history and science of ESC research so far that Obama so conveniently omitted, and saying that we need to do this with protections for embryos in place.
I was just giving you the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey used to say. I'm sorry if it's an "inconvenient truth", and despite my reservations, I do wish the very best for your child just as I do for the unborn embryos now at increased risk.
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