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No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm

Posted By: MT and worn out on 2008-11-28
In Reply to: Black Friday - SpinOff

nm


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its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home

It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
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Didn't your mother ever tell you....
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. People come here for ideas, suggestions, and support - not negativity. Maybe you shouldn't read this board if you don't like the topics.
My mother tried them and said they didn't
xx
You would be foolish not the have the house - sm
inspected. A competent inspector looks for potential problems and for current problems. When we sold our house the buyers inspector found mold under our house, which we did not know about, we had no railing on our steps into the garage either. There were various other little things too, which in their hands (or yours) becomes a bargining chip to squeeze a little more out of the seller. We had the mold sprayed and installed a railing, fixed the back plate of the fireplace which had a crack in it (potential carbon monoxide problem), and gave them a window allowance for a couple of windows with broken seals. So we had 3 serious issues, the railing, the mold and the fireplace; which if they had not had an inspector they would have never found out. We were able to compromise on what to take care of on their list of "problems", about 13 things, most of which were insignificant and not an issue. But if the buyer uncovers a big problem, like a cracked foundation, or rusting plumbing or leaks, etc. It gives them bargining power, or at good legitimate reason to pull out of the deal w/o losing their deposit. It is not a lot of money to spend, ours was $300, and it is worth it if you have a good inspector. They look at things you would generally not think twice about but could in the long run cause costly repairs and problems.
Gifts from the kids on Mother's day??? (sm)
This is one that I never understood.  Do you have very little children??  I raised my kids by myself and they never had a dad around to make sure they got gifts for me.  They made things in school when they were little.  Then as they got a little older (like even just 6 or 7) they would say they didn't make anything in school that year, and I would tell them, well then it would be nice if you make breakfast or supper for me!  They always did it themselves, and I ate whatever they made.  I just never understood buying something for your kids to give your wife.  It's the kids' mother, not the husband's.
It would be different is the mother was asking the MIL to watch the kids...
the MIL is asking the kids to spend time with her so she should do things the kids want to do, not necessarily what she wants to do...if it was the other way around then I would agree the kids would just have to deal with things the MIL wanted to do...
I so agree...mother of 3 healthy kids
I have a similar relative who would NEVER let anyone around her girls when they were babies, whether we were sick or not.  No one was allowed to even hold them.  Those babies grew up to be 2 of the sickest kids I ever saw.
I am single mother, raising my kids on my own, but not
by choice, because my husband died at a very young age and because of his illness we weer unable to get life insurance, so I am left to support them on my own. I really am upset that would even look down upon a single parent in such a way. If you want people to be open-minded to your decisions in life, I suggest you not group all single parents into some sort of welfare classification.
My mother chose my stepfather over her kids
I have been in the same situation for the last 20 years. My mother figures she only sees us once in a while, so she would rather not be alone the rest of the time. I know how much it hurts to not feel welcome in your mother's house. It shouldn't be that way.
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.

You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
so then the kids you had didn't grow up
in you care...they went back to who? Family? Wow, the odds of every single child you cared for going back to their parents/family is well, just remarkable or what a coincidence for the sake of these posts. NONE of them were split up? You never claimed to be an angel, but you must be one heck of a FC parent to have lucked out like that considering the politics and social issues involved. I never said having siblings in short-term FC is unacceptable, just harder to come by anymore than it used to be...and the states now have federal laws to follow that were not in place 10 years ago.

I will restate that sending siblings to a GROUP HOME (read: Not a FC setting) is less desirable than several relatives maintaining close contact in short-term situations.

Yea, Budda likes it when I write about something I'm passionate about.
my kids didn't listen either
until I gave them a set time such as you have to take you bath and have your teeth brushed by 8:00 and if it wasn't done they lost a privilage. After a couple of times they saw I was serious and the problem stopped.
Maybe they had so many kids they didn't realize til now he was gone
What is wrong with people. You have a missing kid you report it!

Reminds me of that movie Home alone.
that is "why didn't dad take both kids"....tired already - nm
ss
I didn't disable mine, but the kids pay
for texting or it gets turned off the next month. They get 1500 texts a month on my plan.
Justice of the peace for us (we didn't even tell kids till it was over) sm
Just the way we wanted it - no muss, no fuss -
We didn't even spend half that amount on each of our kids.
Of course, our kids told us about their spoiled rotten friends who all got electric guitars, multiple gaming systems, flat panel TVs for their bedrooms, cell phones, mp3 players, etc. Then the little boy from across the street came over and told me what he got for Christmas, which wasn't much at all. I felt so bad for the little guy. If I had known they didn't have much, I would have bought for his family instead of my 25+ family and friends who don't even need anything. I refuse to buy into it all for my own kids. If they want all the electronics, they can work and save up for it, and then only with my permission. No unlimited Internet, no texting, no M, R or T rated movies and games. I just don't believe children need all that junk. DH and I grew up just fine without it.
She did NOT raise that boy the first 6 to 7
years of his life. That is a lie.
How much does she need to raise?

Did you raise them on your own

or is there someone else to share the blame?  Kids don't spoil themselves.


I do not think it is appropriate for any man to raise

If the child is that bad, send her to counseling.  Writing a report brings out all of the reasons the child has done the wrong.  Unless she's breaking the law, man-handling is not on the top of my list of punishments!  I disagree with your statements, and I disagree with blank rooms.  I think talking things out and finding out the root of the problem is the answer, not spanking or punishments that require imprisonment.  Obviously, the OP didn't feel the child had done that much wrong or the friend wouldn't have been allowed to spend the night.  That's all I have to say on this issue, which is ridiculous in this day and age of molesters.  Oh, and I was paddled on my bare bottom at age 10....  No, I wasn't too fond of men.  This issue is no different than a wife beater or child molester.....


asking for raise
I would just make contact with the person in charge of raises, and present your case (not from a 'need' perspective, but from a deserve perspective). Just form it as a request and touch on your high points!!
raise
It justs seems like with the cost of everything going up.  Also we get the best with working at home, but they do not pay vacation, benefits or anything else.  Why woudl it kill them to give a raise.
would rather raise 5 girls than 1 boy..sm

When boys grow up and become men, their *toys* become MUCH more expensive than girls (think boats, cars, motorcycles, ATVs, planes, trains, etc.).


I had such success with my girl that I want more girls *lol*


 


Looking for best place to raise a kid

I like where I live...but after a week from H E double toothpicks last week, I really feel that a bit of distance between myself and any family members would be better.  Long story short, you think your family will be there to help when you need it, but instead all you get is beaten down and end up feeling bad and having to deal with your crises by yourself anyway (it's the ONLY reason I moved back to this area a couple of years ago).


Currently, I live in the deep south and my city has an excellent !!! school system, but I know there are other good school systems out there.  So, here are some of what I would like in addition to a good school system.


Near water and mountains (could be lake or ocean, or state park), easy access to public transportation (in case my car breaks down), a good YMCA or city recreation center.


I've been looking at a borough just north of Philly, a couple of small cities in Virginia, a city north of Denver, some areas in North Carolina.  I would like to avoid the west coast unless it's somewhere in Washington State or Oregon.  I've considered the Reno area, but I've never been there and I don't know what the schools are like.


Any ideas?  Thanks!  


Anyone who never has to raise their voice to get (sm)
I have an 8 year old an almost 11 year old and my husband is gone a lot.  They are basically good children, never get in trouble at school except occasionally for talking, don't really do anything malicious or mean.  But sometimes the bicker incessantly with each other and many times I feel as if I have to tell them repeatedly to do something and finally have to get a mad voice before they listen -then their feelings are hurt because I raised my voice.  Right now my son is crying because I told him he has to help clean the house before he can have friends over this morning (he is almost 11).  On school days they don't want to help because they have been at school all day. On weekends they don't want to help because those are their only days off. I am making them help even though they don't want to, but why the tears? It makes me feel like a mean mom, but I can't do it all myself and don't feel I should have to. 
Did you see the part about how she was going to raise them?
She was bragging that she does not receive welfare, but then they have admitted that she receives food stamps and two of the older children get SSI for disabilities. But, she said her source of income to raise them would be her student loans!
I would raise some caine, she is not - sm
abiding by the rules. I would either (1) give her a warning and inform her that you will revoke car privileges for two weeks if she comes home late again (3x and you are out basically), and if she wants to go anywhere she needs to get herself there and back by the appointed time, or she won't be allowed to go anywhere, or (2) revoke them now since she has already broken the rules 2 x.

If I knew I was going to be late I had to call to let my parents know, they did not care that it was 12:30 a.m. and I was to be home by 1, I was to call no matter what. I think I only had to do that once, roads were icy, and was not about to speed home to be on time. They were fine with it. Considering I was 16/17 when I was a senior my parents were pretty lenient, as long as I told then were I was, who I was with, and be home by the appointed time, 10 on school nights, 12 or 1 on weekends depending on what I was doing, dates were midnight generally, special dances 1 a.m. except for the Prom, got to okay to be out all night for that one. I was close to being late a few times due to haveing too good a time on dates, so makes you wonder what your daughter is up to. Just because she is 18 it is not a magic number of being allowed to do whatever she wants. She is still in school and you are still her parent no matter how "responsible" she seems to be for her age. You cannot be her friend, you are her mother.
I would raise 5 boys to 1 girl!
Girls cost too much.
I did not raise a debate, criticize the OP, or anything
x
Love Raise the Red Lantern
So few people enjoy foreign films - and I just love them. I want the Chinese, Indian, Japanese, European, Latin American - all of them. Hardly ever find a dud. I've seen every foreign film at Blockbuster at least once.

Have you watched the Red, White, and Blue triology by the French director? Can't think of his name right now, but all 3 films are simply superb and although each is separate, there is a common thread that he brings together at the end of the third movie.
Or they want to raise them so they can be killed in a senseless war!!
Not that I think it is good to kill fetuses either ... but why don't these people see their lack of logic!

And as far as the stem cells and embryos ... why don't they fight to stop allowing people to fertilize and freeze them to begin with (or more than they will surely use)?!!
If the mom was so bad, why did ANS let her raise Daniel for the first 6-7 years of his life?
x
Which are easier to raise -- boys or girls?
I was always told boys.  I had 2 girls and uff-dah what a hormonal nightmare.  Now I have a teenage boy and those hormones are at least as bad.  Prolly worse.
let's raise the flag *ROFL*.....lucky you....

It figures! I just found out they're going to raise my
29% next month! (And I always pay on time and far more than the minimum.) Well forget all that! I'm going to take the money out of what's left in my bank account (SAME bank, only savings only earns a measly .03% interest!) pay off the Mastercard, and just close the d@mned thing. I've had it with Wall Street, I've had it with negligent banks, and I've had it with greedy credit card companies. They can all go under for all I care, I'm going to pay cash from now on, and just keep a checking account for the debit/ATM card. The economy, banking system, and stock market never have, and never WILL, work for the 'little guy'. We were fools to fall for all that hooey. Sure hope the IRS doesnt mind the IOU they're gonna get from me this year, cause what goes around, comes around.
Is it just me or does the fuel surcharge for speeders sound like another way to raise taxes? nm
x
I see by your birthdate that you weren't trying to raise a family during the Regan years -sm

We were lucky, my DH never lost his job, but the town we lived in had about a 75% foreclosure rate with vacant houses and most of the businesses closed down.


We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper, mac & cheese, Rice A Roni, and Top Ramen.  My 3 kids got their clothes and shoes at thrift stores, I went without.  DH went without. We would have qualified for food stamps, but the state couldn't afford to have a program.  Oh, and after Regan failed to get the school lunch program dumped completely he wanted ketchup declared a vegetable.   


There was no question of me working - first there were no jobs, and second anything I earned plus some would have gone to daycare.  Doctor and dentist visits were just about nonexistent because we couldn't afford insurance. 


After that hellish 8 years things slowly got better until W, and wow, it's like Deja Vu all over again!  Ain't it great?


Thank you! I didn't realize they made computer glasses. Will make an appt. Spit didn't wor
3
I didn't say her decor didn't sound great.
It's not ridiculous.

I would seriously doubt the Christianity of anyone who feels it is okay to celebrate Halloween. It is anti-God in every aspect.

You can only service 1 God and the folly of man and carnality is in direct conflict with holiness.


Thanks - I didn't realize they didn't like the smell of citrus
I have the feeling he doesnt have a UTI and he's trying to tell me something else, but I'll be taking him to the vets to be safe.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
I didn't phrase that well. I didn't mean to SM
offend. I think I said that to other lady below!

I wouldn't want to be told that myself. I guess you sounded down. Again, if I offended anyone, I'm sorry.

I'm a channel surfer. Last night watched PBS documentary on Kennedy assasination, then PBS show on Dick Cheney. Yuck. Then watched show on stem cell research to cure paralysis. There were two young woman, both with paralysis, who were so inspiring. Watched another segment on Current about blind people using their voices to "see". That had to be seen to be believed. Anyway, positives offset the negative.

Again, sorry if I said anything out of line.
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.

I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?


ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.

Consider homeschooling her.

Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
mother in-law help sm

Ok, so here is what is going on.  My mother in-law fell down some stairs and broke her leg.  She did not have insurance.  She had not been to a doctor in 27 years.  She has been in the hospital for about 4 days.  They had to do surgery and things are looking good.  She will have to have rehab for a few months, use a walker and so on.  Well, guess who they ask to take care of her for the next few months?  The "stay-at-home" mom who has all the free time in the world haha (not to mention I have a 3 year old who stays at home with me and a busy 6 year old in school).  This would consist of me taking her to the restroom, bathing, changing dressings, helping with rehab exercises, not to mention working 8 hours a day and making sure my 3 year old doesn't climb on her.  I feel bad for saying no, but I think that they should feel bad for asking me.  She has 5 children.  I feel that it is way too much responsibility for me to take on and that it absurd that they asked me.  Aren't there facilities where she can go at least for the 1st month?  Please help, just need advise. 


 


And for anyone who wants to say "if it was your mother..."  Believe it or not, in June MY mother fell down some stairs and broke her ankle.  I was at her house every afternoon and we had people come in multiple times daily to check on her.  However, the mother in-law is about 25 years older and the extent of the injury is greater.  I would have never asked my husband to take care of her and help her do these things. 


My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law keeps giving my Longaberger baskets for b-days and Christmas.  She loves these baskets and has over 100.  She visits the factory several times a year, (about a 4 1/2 hour drive) and often takes the female family members with her.  These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but these baskets are expensive and I have over 20.  When I tried to mention to her as politely as possible that I just don't need any more baskets, she told me that she often changes hers out so she can enjoy them all.  I would much rather have sheets, bath towels, cookware, or even a gift certificate for dinner.  My hubby and I have been married 19 years, have to children, and have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law.  She is a fabulous grandmother, but I am really tired of the baskets.  Any suggestions?
I also have MVP and so does my mother...
so I don't know if there is a correlation or not between the two...
My mother's cat
looked like it had mange and when I asked the vet about it he said he had never seen a cat with mange.  A friend told my mom that cats are extremely allergic to poinsettas and my mother had one sitting in the cat's favorite window.  After she threw out the flower the cat got better very quickly.