No kids here, but I grew up w/grandparents.
Posted By: Hayseed on 2008-02-07
In Reply to: grandparents - jlynn
They actually lived in our childhood home with us. Our mother was a single parent trying to get off welfare back in the 60s...going to night school to become an LPN and rearin' the 5 of us during the day. I have no doubt her parents saved her tuckas by doing all they did for her (and us!) back then. I have nothing but incredibly fond memories and miss them all immensely.
There's something to be said for families that pull together like that when times are tough, or even not so tough. Some days I regret not having one of my own, but I'm just waaaay too selfish and I know I'd make a horrible parent. Plus, I have no social support at all and I would be 100% on my own...certainly not the ideal way to raise a kid or two.
Fantastic assets grandparents can be...so long as they're not criminals or anything.
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kids visiting grandparents over the
you choose to not work nights so you could have time for you? LOL.... does anyone else see the craziness in this?
grandparents
I'm curious about how involved grandparents are in your child/children's lives........ how often they visit with them; overnight stays; extracurricular activities; babysitting, etc.
If you are a grandparent, how involved are you?
grandparents
My parents were very involved with my daughter when she was growing up - she stayed with them an average of 2-3 nights/per month. . She loved everything about them and everything they did. .they didn't spend a lot of money on her but always gave her tons of time. . as she got older, they would go to her school activities, etc. . After she could drive and after my dad died, she would take my mom places - shopping, out to eat, etc. . Mom died last May and it was hard for all of us. . My ex-husband's dad died before our daughter was born and his mother has never been much of a grandparent. . she lives in another state but still makes little attempt to be a grandmother - when my ex died (daughter's dad) her grandmother asked her what she could do to be a better grandmother. . she was told just call sometimes, send a birthday card, Christmas card, etc. . but she still made little attempt to stay in touch. . My daughter (who is almost 23 now and on her own) called me the other day because she was so excited she had received a letter from her grandmother. . In my opinion, grandparents can contribute so much. . I can't wait to be one!
Grandparents
My children are extremely close with their grandparents on both sides. My DH father passed away when my son was 6 months old and it breaks my heart that none of his grandchildren ever got to know what an incredible man he was. Both my children as well as my 3 nieces are extremely close with DH mother. She has always attended their school/sport events. When they were younger (there are 5 grandchilden in all) she would take one child out every Friday night and let them pick where they ate and what they wanted to do. They then spent the night with her. Last Sunday after church my son spent the afternoon with Granny just running errands.
My children are also very close to my parents. I lost my mother 3 years ago but they spent a lot of time with her and she was always at their activities, usually with DH mother. My father and stepmother don't seem to make it to very many of the kids events due to their schedule, but they are very mucha part of their lives. They are a lot better at being grandparents then they were parents. LOL!
What you say about how grandparents should do
My grandchildren are up some size and they could come see me. Do they? No. I did my part in keeping my children close to their grandparents as youngsters but my DIL so wound up in her own family, the paternal side just does not matter. I don't even try anymore.
I'm from KY and my dad and all 4 grandparents used
to eat scrambled pig brains every once in a while for breakfast. They slaughtered their own hogs, so they were available occasionally. That is one thing I never tired. We ate squirrel growing up too. And to this day still love fried country ham and red-eye gravy with homemade biscuits.
How far away from your grandparents do you live?
It sounds like it would be better for you to talk directly to your grandparents if possible, instead of your aunt or cousins. Just leave them out of the loop if they are going to act this way.
You have a right to name your child whatever you choose. I don't understand why these people are getting so upset. But sometimes people - especially family - will use the least little excuse to create drama. You don't need that in your life, especially not with a new baby to take care of.
If your grandparents live far away, do they have any neighbors are friends that they are close to who could help keep an eye on them for you? My mother had a couple of neighbors who all looked out for her and each other - if one was gone one of the others would watch the house and take in the mail, or if they hadn't seen one of them in a while, they would go check on them, things like that. If your grandparents have neighbors they are close to, you might do better calling them instead of your family. Sad but true.
Good luck. I hope you are able to see and talk to your grandparents. Don't let these other folks get you down. They'll get over it eventually.
Grandparents are not involved much. . sm
It's funny you should ask this question today. My mom, who lives 90 minutes away, came for a visit. We haven't seen her in about 4 months. My 2-year-old didn't know who the heck she was and was scared of her for the first day she was here. We only see her 3 to 4 times a year. I wish we could see her more. My dad died when my oldest was one. He had never even met him.
My husband's parents have little to do with the kids. They live 20 minutes away, and we hardly see them. It really hurts because they always have my SIL's kids. They are the same age as my kids and spend almost every weekend at their house. During the summer, they spend even more time with them. After a couple of years of this, I finally asked them why they don't ever have my kids over. They said they will try to spend more time with them. Last summer, they invited the oldest to spend one night, and the SIL's kids were there. I am giving up. Sorry this got so long. I am really sad about this right now.
Are your grandparents your father's parents?
If so, maybe they are angry that you named baby after step-dad instead of their son. They expect you to be loyal to your Dad but not your stepdad who I would assume was in your life as much as your real Dad if not more. Families can be such selfish hypocrites. Where is their loyalty to you and their gratefulness to a man who probably helped raise you. I would cut them off in a New York minute. If you have children and a sister, you have family. Take care.
Is giving grandparents a scrapbook
I think it would be, but decided to get opinions. Thank you in advance.
Grandparents are Heaven on Earth
I have no kids so can only give you a viewpoint of how my grandparents shaped my life. I grew up very close (personally) to my grandparents (grandma was my second mom). My grandparents (moms side) lived up the road from us (about a 5 min walk with an open field between us). In the mornings we would walk outside and if she was out we would yell "hello up there" and grandma would yell back "hello down there". She took care of my sister and I during the day while mom worked. We went everywhere with her every day (hairdresser, butcher, stores, errands, church activities, her friends house, etc). She taught us how to whistle with a blade of grass, play "here is the church & here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people" with our hands. We ate every Sunday supper with them and then she and grandpa moved the living room furniture and taught us how to polka to Lawrence Welk. We also ate there often during the week. Once a week we would spend the night at their house. Grandpa had a lawnmower repair and sales business but anytime I was having trouble in school, he would come in and after supper sit down and help me (mostly with math), but he didn't even think twice about not helping. He was the most unselfish person in the whole world. When I was feeling down about my grade on a report card or test (I was a C & D student, occasionally a B and very rare an A) he would ask me if I did the best that I could and I said I tried really hard but I just didn't understand. He told me as long as I tried the hardest I could he was proud of me. We grew up in the country and g'ma taught us about wild flowers, quilting, and other country type stuff. During the winter we would have sled parties at her house for my girl scout troop and she would bring out hot cocoa with mini marshmallows. Just a couple years ago my best childhood friend was telling me she had just been thinking about that sled party and my grandma bringing us the hot cocoa, and I just have so many wonderful life memories the list would go on and on. She died when I was 16 (30 years ago), grandpa died a few years ago. I miss them so much it still hurts. My dad's grandparents lived 15 minutes from us and we spent every Sunday afternoon with them and when I was old enough to drive I would go up on my own during the weekdays and sit at the table and talk and talk with grandma for hours. I miss them both so much too. I think grandparents are the most wonderful gift a child could have. I was blessed to have mine live so close to us. They spoiled us rotten and we loved it!
Oh how I dream of being young again and having my grandparents to talk to. I'm now 48 and live alone with husband. All my grandparents and mom are gone, dad lives across the country and I see him once every 3 years. I sure do miss them all. I hope all kids have a chance to be close to their grandparents the way I was.
My mom (when she was alive) and dad all have fond memories of their parents (they both told me they had the best parents anywhere).
So the only way I can sum it up is that "Grandparents are Heaven on Earth".
I have cousins that grew up there
The lakes down there are beautiful going from Chatta into Guntersville. I probably did not appreciate it much as a child but a few years ago took my father on trip there and was blown away by the scenery.
I grew up and lived in PA
until I made a few moves down south a few years back and moved to Ohio a year ago. I am about 45 minutes now from my hometown in PA, but my hometown in PA is just 45 minutes away from Pittsburgh. We could be close enough to be neighbors!
We grew up going to the same church
until we were about 11 or so. He moved and I didn't see him again until my senior year of school when he moved back into our home town. He looked me up and we started dating. We got married when I graduated high school and we will have been married for 36 years in June of this year. I was 19 and he was 21.
Not sure about that, but I grew up on scrapple
Scrapple contains basically what you mentioned and it's pretty darn good. It's all good meat, but it's basically scraps, hence the name.
I don't mind Spam either, at least when it's fried.
My son won't even try Spam, but not because of Monty Python. He won't eat it because of the movie Waterworld where they were throwing it out to the masses of people on the boat and the cans were marked Smeat! LOL!
Every death comes in 3s. I grew up with that saying.
It does turn out to be true in a lot of families. So...we have Ed McMahnon (sp), Farrah, and now Michael. If no one died within the next couple days (I think that is also 3), it should be okay.
Dang! I haven't felt this bad since Elvis died.
Bringing my issue with grandparents and cousins to the top
I am sorry, I got myself out of town for the weekend to get away. I am still at a loss. I have tried contacting my grandparents numerous times to no avail. I emailed my sister, and she talked to my grandmother who said she has simply "missed my calls." Thank you all for letting me vent Friday and giving me opinions. I will not stoop to their level. Also, to the poster who asked why I think the baby's name had to do with it, it is because she kept saying, "Figure it out, Daddy's girl" and because when I asked if that was it, she said, "What baby, did I say something about a baby" and "aren't you a little Einstein."
Thanks again all!
I might add that grandparents on paternal side are deceased so
only ones around are mine but that doesn't seem to matter to them.
My grandparents swore by it for LOTS of things
xx
I grew up in a suburb of Milwaukee, and
didn't move until I was 17, just in time for senior year of HS, thank you very much.
When I went back for my 20-year reunion, I was one of the very few who left. Most people, like 98%, were living in suburbs of Milwaukee still! Yet I, one of the least adventurous people ever born, was now living 1000 miles away, in the South. Unbelievable.
I am soooo glad I grew up when I did
This comes from an older voice but I had a close friend in high school. I used to visit in her home and had no idea that this girl only owned 1 blouse. She told me years later how poor she was and she washed that 1 blouse out every night and wore to school the next day = this was in high school. I still have this friend to this day, 40 something years later and so glad I was not so superficial as to just like someone for what they had or did not have.
I grew up with fire ants and believe me sm
You KNOW when you've been bitten. They aren't called fire ants for nothing. We do think it might be insect(s) from the tree we bought (see post "something occurred to us").
grew up in St. Albans, mom now lives in
Hurricane, used to go to Point Pleasant all the time for Sunday drives. Wanted to see that movie but haven't gotten around to it. I am old enough to remember the Marshall plane crash - couldn't bring myself to see it.
I grew up in the town of Catskill, right next to the river.
I miss thoore brisk mornings.
I grew up on Tijuana Brass and Booker T and the MGs.
Absolutely love those groups!
Also Charlie Pride (now that's embarrassing).
Cool pics and ideas. We grew our
tomatoes in 5 gallon buckets last year, but not upside down. This year, we have 50(!) tomato plants growing. Think DH went a little too far.
I like the other idea I saw about using garbage bags, too. I wonder how that went. We might try that with a couple plants; and I also like using the hanging planters. I have plenty of those left over from flowers.
The idea of putting basil in the top is also a good idea, but I'm wondering if the tomatoes growing upright after a while would shade out the basil. Do you know?
Thanks for taking me back home. I grew up in Kona, HI. nm
m
Sherri...I just grew a great crop of catnip (sm)
If you want to e-mail me (just click on my name there) your addy, I'd be happy to send you an envelope of fresh picked stuff! My old toothless cat still loves it and it gets him so buzzed he just rolls around in his own drool for a good 20 minutes and then he swats at flies that aren't there! Good stuff, grown in Maine, 100% pesticide free! You have my word that it's safe! 
Easy! I grew up on quick tomato sauces.
It's very simple, and I do it without a recipe. I do my "light" sauce without meat in a very large pan, but you can do it in a medium to large pot.
I heat the pan over medium heat, I put several "glugs" of olive oil, probably a little less than a quarter cup. Toss in a clove of finely diced garlic (or more if you like), and about a half of a large onion finely diced. Saute for just a bit on medium heat to get everything softened and translucent, but not browned. Toss in tomatoes, either 4-6 cups of diced peeled and seeded fresh tomatoes, or one large can of crushed tomatoes. Add two or three leaves of chopped fresh basil, or about a tablespoon of dried basil. Let it all simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes (longer if using fresh tomatoes), and that's the very basic tomato sauce. I add salt to taste only at the end after it's reduced a bit. You can cook it longer if you like it thicker.
I vary it based on what how I'm using it. I sometimes add mushrooms or peppers, or a little hot pepper flakes to spice it up. If I'm using it with meat, I also add a little wine. Occasionally, the tomatoes might be just a little on the acid side, and then I'll throw in a pinch or two of sugar to cut that.
I don't use much sauce on my pasta or on meat, just a little bit to coat it and a bit more to top it to make it pretty. My grandmother and all of our Italian neighbors used these sauces pretty sparingly by American standards. I think in this country, we tend to really slather on the spaghetti sauce, so this recipe may not make as much as you want. If you want more, you can easily double or triple it.
I grew up in FL, too, and we got these every couple of years, no permission slips. sm
I forget who did it, but it was one of the service organizations in town. The Lions Club did the hearing tests, somebody else did vision. They do it as a service to those families who either can't afford the exam or are just ignorant to the fact that it should be done. There's nothing invasive about it, it's a service to the community. I understand your kid has a special situation, but save your energy for something bigger.
I used to give my grandparents gift certificates to the local grocery store, sm
they would use them to buy special things like shrimp or other things that might cost a bit more that they wouldn't normaly buy for themselves. My parents are that age and I have given them restaurant gift certificates or if they have family out of town, prepaid phone cards, because I know some folks that age don't like paying for long distance calls.
oooh, the Pine Barrens. Is that near Burlington? (grew up in North J)
nm
What is sadder is the grandparents live in a small home, 3 bedroom, and filed bankruptcy 2 years ago
nm
Honey, I grew up on the south shore of Long Island, NY in hurricane territory...
ya know how to duck and cover. I've never been through a major earthquake or a real tsunami yet though. Hey, there's always time for that.  Cat
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I believe my kids would still believe . .
had I not got totally busted by my 10-year-old son. My 7-year-old still believes. I always asked as my kids if they believe and when they said yes, I said that that is all that is important. My son caught me playing the EB last Easter. He said to me yesterday, "Come on, a giant bunny hopping around the country bringing easter baskets? How long did you expect me to fall for that?" I about split a gut laughing!!! However, both older children know how important it is to let the 7YO believe, we all watched Polar Express last night and they still were mesmerized!!!
I think a LOT of men are like that with kids
Maybe because since such a high % of marriages end in divorce, some of them keep a distance there. After all, when divorces happen, who gets the kids? Also, women tend to take charge when it comes to the kids and men tend to allow it. I truly believe that kids do not always strengthen a marriage but often the opposite. I have seen statistics stating that more couples with children get divorced than those who don't have any. Interesting, huh? JMO
That's why I won't have kids.
I have totally turned off the need/want to have kids, because I know my husband could never handle it. I don't want to be a single parent...especially a married single parent, know what I mean? It's an incredible commitment and they don't stay portable and nonverbal for long.
What do your kids
What do your kids call you and your spouse? Would you mind if they changed it, as in Mom instead of Mommy, as they got older? My kids call me Mom. If they call me Ma......I correct them, I don't LIKE it!! My son's GF calls me Mommy or Mom, I don't mind. My DIL calls me by my first name, I don't mind that either. I have a stepson, he also calls me Mom.
I do but only to keep an eye on my kids. NM
x
Hello......if you want your kids to know...
about STDs and how not to get pregnant, YOU teach them. Why should there have to be programs about that at all? If you want them to have condoms, you buy them, don't ask the school nurse to hand them out. As to the genius of a President...at least he is trying. The one before him was hardly an advertisement for wise choices where sex is concerned ala black dress and use of cigars in a way that NO one ever intended...and committed felony perjury while a sitting President. Oh, but, heck....who cares, right?? Geeeezzz. Gimme a break.
Hello, yourself. If I had kids, I would...sm
Teach them those things. And if you're questioning why there s/b sex ed programs in school at all, why do you seem to be defending the current abstinence-only ones? They're worse than nothing at all because they give inadequate and downright *false* information. How is not having all the facts (or having the wrong "facts") ever a good thing? Just doesn't make any sense to me. If you want Bush to get credit because "at least he's trying" well, that seems like a pretty low standard for the president of our country.
Now as far as Clinton, I never said I was a fan. You're assuming an awful lot there. I don't even want to get into that.
I was one of four kids (sm)
and I was always wishing that my twin sister and I could have parents of our own. Living with mean older siblings was no fun!
Once again, your kids are still not that old
but when my son married, completely absorbed into not only his wifes life (which I am the first to say she comes first) but also her family and I basically just lost a son. Just swallowed up by her side and you would not know he really had a mother anymore. Quit trying on that end some time ago.
Especially with little kids
nm
Buy them, but keep away from little kids, sm
When my daughter was 2 or 3, she got her hands on one of the poppies in the back seat and must have pulled it apart and put the plastic middle up her nose. We didn't know in the beginning what was there, but after a visit to her pediatrician who couldn't get at it, a trip to the emergency room, a 5 hour wait for an ENT guy with the correct equipment to retrieve it, we discovered it was the middle of the poppy. Since then, whenever I see them selling the poppies, I tell them to warn parents with little kids to keep the poppies away from the kids.
I don't even have kids, and I
think that's coooooolllld.
It's really not nice to try to be scientific or philosophical with somebody who is going through a loss and expresses sorrow.
Did Jesus tell Lazarus' family, "Hey, dont worry about it; we'll all see him in heaven soon!" No, he took pity on them in their sorrow. That's how He is. Let's try to mirror Him, not philosophists and scientists when it comes to people who are hurting.
Probably more the kids
Love my marriage and don’t mind the divorces until I got it right. The kids are ok as long as infant, toddlers and then they grow up. Not my cup of tea anymore.
Kids going out
I have no problem with it, but there's always upwards of 10 children and at least 3 adults to supervise out all the time, but I would never let my youngest go out alone under any circumstances. We have a very quiet neighborhood, but you never know.
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