Neighbor. son, problem (warning: long)

I have a neighbor with a 6-year-old boy.  The little boy is an only child and lives an extremely structured lifestyle with some sort of activity scheduled every night, i.e. soccer, church group, Boy Scouts, etc.  The little boy gets very little unstructured time to play with the children in the neighborhood, but when he does he is constantly demanding the children play on his terms and tattles on the children constantly, even when they truly did nothing wrong. 

However, here’s the problem….some of the children in the children are older, ranging from 4^th  to 7^th in this particular group.  Whenever the little boy is around the older children are constantly being reprimanded by his mother to play with him and play with him “nicely,” as she puts it.  This particular group of boys (one, of course, being my son) try to include him as much as possible, but they do get annoyed with this tattling and his mother, so they usually take off down the road or something to skateboard, etc.  Now, the problem has become mine because evidently I get to hear every morning and every afternoon about something one of the children did.  She has gone as far as to reprimand me prior for not standing outside during playtime and not forcing my children to be involved in the church group.  In my defense, I am widowed with 2 children who are 8 and 10 and through the 10-year-old’s counselor (the counselor is not for behavior but for dealing with his father’s death and guy things, etc) I have been told that I am to allow them more freedom and not to be under foot all the time.  Nevertheless, the truth is that I am sick of being told how to parent and judged constantly.  I have spoken to my son on several occasions in private, but it has gotten to the point now that every single day there is something, in her eyes, that my son has said or done that offends her son.  Yesterday, it was my son said “that guy acts gay” and she gave me a huge lecture on this.  Well, I certainly did not teach him that and I know for a fact he truly does not even know the full meaning of this, but she just condemned me up and down for this.  I know that children learn a lot of things at school and have no true meaning of their content, but does she not think this same thing will happen to her at one point?  I am at the point where I think it would be best if she just did not allow her son to be around the kids at all if there is nothing she likes anyhow.  She is always making comments, etc. and I am just tired of being reprimanded for children being children.

 I feel like a total failure and just this second, as I am crying this and typing this, she called and left a message “I just wanted you to know that my son is Star Student of the Week and even though your son barely pays any attention to him at all, he still wants to bring a picture of him to show his classmates.  Isn’t he just the sweetest child you know?”  This is transcribed verbatim.  Please tell me how to handle this neighbor and make nice, because right now I am depressed and angry at the same time.  My son is a good boy, although he does do things I may not be particularly thrilled about, but he is a boy and trying to grow up.  He is not racist, he does snot discriminate, does not break the law.  He is trustworthy and respectful to adults and I get compliments all the time about what a good kid he is, so why is it that I feel terrible about failing him as a mother at this point?  I just do not want to constantly reprimand my son for saying something she thinks is inappropriate or mean, nor do I wish her to do that with my child.  Suggestions, please!!!!!! 

• Neighbor. son, problem (warning: long) - Boo2
  • I'd tell her to go to hell. - anon
    • I like your style, I thought exactly the same - nm - Laura E.
  • Thank you to all who responded. I really feel better, but I am going to say - Boo2
    • Sounds like you are doing everything right... - IndyMT
    • You're doing the right thing.....sm - Cindy
  • my opinion - momm
  • Here's what I'd do....sm - Cindy
  • If all this is for real... - SM
    • Totally agree. nm - Escriptionist
  • Well - here is my sugggestion sm - Momof2
    • Keep your chin up. - Bailey

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This has been a terrible and tragic week for our town.  A first grader that goes to my son's school was killed last Friday when he was crossing his street to go home after he had chased after his dog.  It happened right after school and a bus load of children were there to witness this scene.  Then, just 3 days later a former teacher of my daughter lost her 24-year-old son in a car accident. The accident was caused by another driver who crossed the center line.  They were both killed. 

My daughter just came home from the funeral home and is understandably very upset.  She went with her older cousin who also had this teacher and went to school with her son.  My daughter is 16 and has been begging me to allow her to get her permit, which I have been putting off due to the fact that I am terrified of the whole driving thing with her.  I lost a very close friend in high school due to a car accident, which is probably part of the reason.  I also know at least 3 people who have lost their young children to car accidents.  When she was telling me about his mother hugging her tight and not letting go tonight, I broke down into tears and told her that I didn't want her to drive, that I was scared.  So, now she has stormed upstairs and both of us are in tears.  I just don't know what to do.  I know I can't keep her from driving forever.  I just feels 16 and 17 year olds are simply not mature enough.  My boys are 8 and 4 and I know someday I will face this with them to and go through the same thing.  

She came down a bit ago and I told her that I wasn't saying she couldn't get her license, but that I was just worried and didn't feel she was quite ready yet.  Am I completely wacko or are these normal feelings for parents of driving-aged kids?

That's an interesting thought - about Ben using the smoke monster to spy on people. It has also been used to kill people (Mr. Eko) so it's pretty powerful. But then, Ben doesn't seem to hesitate to kill when it serves his purpose.

I don't trust Juliette - I think they left her behind as a spy. And from the previews, so does Sayid. Maybe we will find out a little more next week (ha!).

Wasn't it interesting that Kate met up with Sawyer's ex-GF? So many connections that the other people don't know about - Sawyer meeting Jack's dad, Claire being Jack's half-sister....

And what about Sun's pregnancy? I know it's early days yet, but surely she should have morning sickness or something, just to remind people that she is pregnant.

I think Nikki at least (and maybe Paolo) got out of the grave and covered it back up so the others wouldn't know they're alive. For what purpose, I don't know....but somehow I don't think we've seem the last of them.

 How pathetic is my life that I spend so much time thinking about a TV show???

Sometimes when I've popped a really big one, that night I will dream about little white worms coming out of my skin.

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck!

 HALLOWEEN CANDY RECALLED

There is a new warning put out by the Canadian Food Inspection
 Agency....

Sherwood brand Pirate's Gold Milk Chocolate coins are being
recalled due to the fact that they contain Mel amine, the ingredient in milk
product that has caused many infant deaths in china. These candies are
sold at Costco, as well as many bulk and dollar stores. please make sure to
check your childrens halloween candy and DO NOT LET THEM EAT THE
PIRATE COINS (you know the ones wrapped in the shiny gold foil) and
please let other parents know about this!

and no matter what I change my settings to, I still get them.  There is no "Don't snow this again" option either. I get them while working on a Sten-Tel platform.  It really slows me down, as I have to do some things several times before they actually go through.  It also adds another toolbar...just what we all need.  That just cuts down the viewable size on your monitor. 

I tried to get IE6 back, which you can't do even with a system restore, but then read about the mandatory automatic "upgrade" so quit trying to get rid of IE7.  Hopefully they may issue some fixes. 

Read this article in a Parenting magazine. It's NOT a debate or question to which is best.

Should formula cans have a warning that it's better to breastfeed

While I am a big believer in Breastfeeding, I would never make anyone feel guilty for formula feeding. It's any mother's choice as to what is best for them and the baby. I personally could never have worked and breastfed at the same time!

46% said Yes 54% said No.

Yesterday, a lady was driving down our hill with her little doxie in the front seat of the van. I don't think the dog was even a year old yet. Anyway, she sideswiped a telephone pole which put her out of control, her airbags went off, and she couldn't see with all that white powder flying around, and she wound up in a drainage ditch. When the airbags went off, they struck her dog and killed him. Although our neighbor is a nurse and tried CPR, the poor thing had broken ribs which probably punctured his lungs.

So, what I'm saying is if you're going to take your dog for rides, please put them in the back seat, preferably with doggie seat belts, not the front seat.  I could barely sleep last night over this.  I feel so bad for the poor dog. It didn't have to happen. The lady was so upset over it and feeling so guilty, it took us over 2 hours to get her calmed down.

I came across this blog today on Craigslist:  http://www.thechaistory.blogspot.com/

And if you have a dog, it's a must-see.  It details what happened to a dog that was severely injured by a dog toy called a "Pimple Ball" made by Four Paws, Inc.  The dog ended up losing his tongue, and the pain he had to endure was excruciating. 

The dog's owner relates that the Four Paws Co. hasn't owned up to the fact that its toy is dangerous, and he's calling for a international boycott of Four Paws, Inc.  After watching his video links of his poor dog's suffering, even though I have cats, I plan to be sure I don't purchase ANYTHING from this company, andhopefully you won't either.

(Aaaaggghhh!!!  Somebody just SHOOT me!!!) 

I guess I'm going to be changing veterinarians soon.... here's an update to the post below:

The oral pain/anti-inflammatory my cat was prescribed (which thank God I didn't give her without researching it!), is "Metacam" (meloxicam) oral suspension.  The article below is from the rescue where I got my cat.  Thank goodness I checked their website just now! 

I was wrong about her vomiting BEFORE we went to the vet.  It was last night, which was about 8-10 hours AFTER being given one dose of Metacam p.o.  (This was an off-label treatment, as the oral suspension is for DOGS.)  Since it was given in the vet's office directly into her mouth, and she weighs less than 10 lbs.,  she most likely had an OVERDOSE, which is why she vomited up her dinner in every room of the house lase night.  The drug had been prescribed to help bring down the inflammation in the area of her lesion and fluid aspiration.   But among other things, this drug can cause kidney failure in cats.  "No, thanks!"   I lost a cat to renal failure a few years back, and it took me 3 years to pay off the over $5,000 in vet bills I'd put on my MasterCard!  And the cat still had to be put down, anyway. 

So, here I've been spending the morning researching veterinary literature, checking my pet-insurance coverage limits, and biting my nails about the possible damage I might have done to my cat simply by trying to keep her up-to-date on her shots.   I'm just about to change my pet-care-policy to "no more shots and no more meds"!

Here's the article:

Metacam Solution for Injection was approved for one-time

use only in cats on 28 Nov 2004 (NADA 141-219).Metacam

Oral Suspension was approved for dogs only on 15 Apr 2003

According to the manufacturer ’s product sheet 1 ,Metacam has

a narrow margin of safety (also known as therapeutic index )

documented in the clinical tests 3 submitted to the FDA.

Adverse Drug Experience (ADE)reports 4 for Metacam Oral,

Oral 2 warns against administering the drug directly into the

Are my cat ’s blood tests (especially liver &kidney functions)OK?

What side effects should I look out for?

Under what conditions should I discontinue the medication?

Who do I call on evenings or weekends if my cat has a reaction?

Is there a 24-hour emergency animal hospital in the area?

May I have copies of the Metacam product sheets?

Persians are a more delicate breed,are you sure this is safe?

My cat weighs less than 10 pounds,are you sure this is safe?

What other pain medications are FDA-approved in cats?

What pain medications were you using prior to Metacam Oral ’s

Are these medications safer and/or cheaper than Metacam?

[1 ]Product sheet:Metacam Solution for Injection for Cats

[2 ]Product sheet:Metacam Oral Suspension for Dogs

[3 ]Freedom of Information Summary for Supplemental NADA 141-219

[4 ]Adverse Drug Experiences (ADE)Report,9 June 2006

I can't believe Charlie really died. For a good cause, okay, and he was never my favorite character, but I feel really sorry for Claire.

And what do these people want, these ones on the frieghter? Obviously from Jack's "flash forward", leaving the island now is not a good idea. Why? What does Ben know? Who sent the ship? Penny's father?

It's beginning to look like Locke has a point about not leaving the island. Maybe they are meant to be there. Maybe there is something that they can only accomplish toether. But what?

Hurley was so cool, coming to the rescue in his VW bus. Go Hurley!!

Other thoughts or speculations?

Millions of toys recalled; contain 'date rape' drug

Two U.S. children went into comas after swallowing Chinese-made Aqua Dots found to contain a chemical that converts into 'date rape' drug when ingested.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Millions of Chinese-made toys have been pulled from shelves in North America and Australia after scientists found they contain a chemical that converts into a powerful date rape drug when ingested. Two children in the United States and three in Australia were hospitalized after swallowing the beads.

With only seven weeks until Christmas, the recall is yet another blow to the toy industry - already bruised by a slew of recalls this past summer.

Video

More video

Child deaths have prompted FDA hearings on the safety of cold and cough medicines. CNN's Elizabeth Cohen reports Play video

In the United States, the toy goes by the name Aqua Dots, a highly popular holiday toy distributed by Toronto-based Spin Master Toys. They are called Bindeez in Australia, where they were named toy of the year at an industry function earlier this year.

It could not immediately be learned whether Aqua Dots beads are made in the same factories as the Bindeez product. Both are sold by Australia-based Moose Enterprises.

The toy beads are sold in general merchandise stores and over the Internet for use in arts and crafts projects. They can be arranged into designs and fused together when sprayed with water.

Scientists say a chemical coating on the beads, when ingested, metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate. When eaten, the compound - made from common and easily available ingredients - can induce unconsciousness, seizures, drowsiness, coma and death.

Naren Gunja from Australia's Poisons Information Center said the drug's effect on children was "quite serious ... and potentially life-threatening."

The recall was announced by the Consumer Product Safety Commission on Wednesday several hours after published reports about the recall in Australia.

Fisher-Price recalls 155,000 toys for choking risk

The two U.S. children who swallowed Aqua Dot beads went into nonresponsive comas, commission spokesman Scott Wolfson said Wednesday afternoon.

In Australia, the toys were ordered off store shelves on Tuesday when officials learned that a 2-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl were hospitalized after swallowing the beads. A 19-month-old toddler also was being treated.

The news jolted the toy industry because Aqua Dots has been one of the few bright stars of the toy selling season, which, along with overall retailing, has gotten off to a sluggish start. The item, which had been heavily advertised, had appeared on many toy experts' list of must-have holiday toys, and toy sellers are now in the midst of canceling advertising and scrambling to figure out how to replace it.

Chris Byrne, a New York-based toy consultant, noted that the incidents could have been isolated, and Spin Master may be erring on the side of caution.

"This is something that they could not have foreseen. This is an extremely hot toy. ... It's a little scary," Byrne said.

In a statement, Toys "R" Us Inc., said that it issued on Tuesday a "stop sale" on the entire Spin Master Aqua Dots product line in its North American stores and on its Web site after it learned of the news. "We understand that Spin Master and U.S. regulatory authorities are investigating this product and we have asked Spin Master to fully explain what it believes happened," said the toy seller in a statement.

Meanwhile, a separate recall was announced for 405,000 children's products made in China, most of them toy cars, because of dangerous levels of lead.

The recall includes about 380,000 Pull-Back Action Toy Cars imported by Dollar General Merchandising Inc. of Goodlettsville, Tenn., and 7,500 Dragster and Funny Car toys imported by International Sourcing Ltd. of Springfield, Mo.

Four of the recalled products were imported by Schylling Associates Inc. of Rowley, Mass., including the items Duck Family Collectable Wind-Up Toy, Dizzy Ducks Music Box, "Robot 2000" collectable tin robot and Winnie-the-Pooh Spinning Top. The company recalled another 66,000 spinning tops Aug. 22.

Representatives from Schylling Associates Inc. were not immediately available for comment.

Wednesday's recalls include about 7,200 "Big Red" Wagons imported by Northern Tool & Equipment Co. of Burnsville, Minn. Totaling about 405,700, the recalled children's products all had excessive levels of lead in their surface paint.

Although no illnesses connected to the toy car recall have been reported, lead is toxic if ingested by young children. Children's products found to have more than 0.06 percent lead accessible to users are subject to a recall. 

More toys recalled on lead paint hazard

Panel to push for greater U.S. recall power

Puppies develop habits really quickly, so discourage licking the can thing.  Mine would get cans out of the garbage and one had a cut edge and he terrribly cut his mouth and tongue.  I felt like such a careless dog mom.  A true accident, but now maybe I can help you prevent the same thing?  Please excuse my post... I am not a know-it-all and I actually don't like it when someone posts something lighthearted and then someone (like me) gets kind of off topic in the thread with a reply like this one, but maybe it will help you prevent an accident.  But this is an adorable picture and I love your puppy. 

Nice, I have one of those outfits too.  I call it my "Puffy Ninja" outfit.  Kind of like a black Pillsbury Doughboy, right?  I noticed that when I fall down while shoveling it makes it kind of hard to get back up with all those layers.  My husband took pity and bought a snowblower for me to use and put racing stripes on it to lure me into wanting to use it.  Phooey on that.  I'll make hot chocolate for him while he snowblows to his heart's content.  He can enjoy those racing stripes and cold icy water going down his back while I stir the chocolate in my fuzzy slippers.  Doesn't California look good sometimes? 

First, what state do you live in? Some states have a one-party (the caller) notification and others it takes the authorization of both parties to tape a phone call.  In such a state if you tape a conversation without the other person's permission you can be in deep doo-doo!! 

 

   http://www.rcfp.org/taping/   To see what your state requires, click on the state-by-state guide on the side bar.

 

It sounds like management isn't doing what their suppose to.  I live in a two-family apartment and have a lot of unused land around the house so I have no idea how the rules are in a large apartment complex work. If management won't help, then I would go to the Sheriff and get a restraining order. Sounds like Nosey Neighbor is more or less off kilter by the alcohol intake.

 

As for the pup, call animal control. If she didn't license her dog, in many states it's six months) She might get either a warning or ticket. Plus, I think it would be a health hazard to allow an animal to pee and poo in a common indoor walkway.....isn't it???

 

You don't want to tick management off to the degree that you might have a hefty rent increase or even an eviction. 

One thing I don't see that really will matter especially with these more agressive breeds...are they fixed?  If one or both of these are intact males, all bets are off.  You do not want to attempt to bring them together if they are intact males because that will change everything. 

IMO, you and your neighbor may want your dogs to friends but in all likehood they don't.  They are each used to their own territory and if they have not been socialized up to this point, then bringing a strange adult dog into their home will only set them up to fail.  In all honesty, your dog is probably going to be happier staying at home without you then going with you to the neighbors.

My mom has had issues with her neighbor's dogs for a long time.  If they aren't barking, they are pooping in the yard, tearing out the trash, etc.  We have called the Humane Society.  They don't do anything....at least around here they don't.  We have called the Sheriff's Department and they said there was nothing they could do.  We can't shoot them as that is animal cruelty.  Those stupid dogs have more rights than humans do it seems.  

If there dog is a big dog, I most certainly would not want it in my house.  I have an Aussie that stays outside.  When he barks, we don't bring him in the house.  We do, however, tell him to knock it off and he usually does.  We don't just let him bark and bark.  We also don't have neighbors right next to us either.

Irresponsible dog owners are a pet peeve of mine.  In fact, I've thought several times of writing a letter to the Editor of our local newspaper about irresponsible dog owners.

Do the other neighbor's say anything about this dog? 

Awhile back I wrote that I wish there was a draft and the neighbor's kid would be drafted.  Got lots of messages telling me bout the terrors of other neighborhood kids.  Just thought I'd update you on this.  This kid is 14 years old (is about as big as a full grown overweight adult) and his attitude is getting worse and worse.  Seems like his parents don't know how to control him and they don't.  He calls his little brother the "B" word (usually what we refer to other women as), he's constantly saying "homee and home boy", uses the "f" word in about every sentence that comes out of his mouth.  The other day was about the final point for me.  He was using hedge trimmers to do whatever he was doing.  Well the thing wasn't working to his liking and he used about every swear word imaginable in a single sentence.  The lady two houses across from me in the back yard yelled out to him - "Hey watch your language".  She was coughing and sounded sick and I'm sure she didn't like what he was saying.  His reply to her was "Shut the "f" up or I'll come over and kill you".  I don't think she heard it as he did not say it loud enough but DH and I heard it.  All I could think of was where are his parents.  They were there about 5 minutes before that.  He also has a couple freinds of another color and when they are in the back yard with him he feels the need to do a whole "routine" like what you see in the movies.  Well yesterday we happened to catch a movie on TV (by accident - it was on and we couldn't find the remote to change the channel) but it was called Alpha Dog and our mouths about dropped.  Not sure if any of you have seen it but it is exactly the way the kid next door acts and talks.  They call each other the "B" word (still didn't realize they call guys that), and the expletives in that movie were even more than I can take (and I can sure use the words at times - bad language does not bother me, it's the people who use it and in what reference they use it).  I told my DH I have a good mind to go talk to his mother but that wouldn't do any good, and if I did I wouldn't put it past him to torch our house or rob us when we were away.  His parents talk to him like nothing I've heard of before (except the low lifes across the street that freely use the "f" word talking to their kids).  But the kids parent's have called him a name (I won't use it if by some chance she happens to frequent this board - I have no idea what she does but you never know).  But when he asked why she called him that she stated "because you don't have a brain".  They are constantly yelling at him.  The other day he told his parents he wanted his room to remain completely dark and they said to him "like your heart".  Kind of creeped me out.  Anyway...we have been planning to move for quite some time, but this was the breaking point to speed up our search.  I believe he's probably just a bully and says things he doesn't mean when he knows that other people can't hear him, but anyone voicing they will kill someone is enough for me to "head to the hills" and to really search out what kind of neighbors in different area.  We also get a lot of kids playing the base on their car radios so loud the stuff inside our house vibrates.  Told my DH today where can we go live in peace and quiet without having to move to a 55+ park.  I'm sure every place has kids who are a terror, but I really feel like this is where I don't want to be.  I wrote before I wished they'd have a draft but I realized today what he needs is to be in a military school with a uniform and drill sergeants keeping an eye on him 24 hours a day teaching him respect.  Being in the Army and going through basic training myself really taught me respect for others and how to be an adult.  Anyway...just wanted to vent.